My fiance and i will be getting married later this year.
Recently he has a new boss and work is not as enjoyable as before. He just told me that he intends to quit his job. I told him that he should quit his job only after he is clear what he wants to do. Afterall he can still keep the job while he look for another. But he felt that he don't have time to find a job if he is with the company. He usually leaves work around 6 plus on most days although his day time is very stressful according to him. Compared to when i was doing hectic job, days when working into weekends was norm when i was a fresh graduate, to days when i work till 2-3am everyday on the computer, or in another job where leaving office at 9plus was the norm, i thought it was not bad that his job allows him to leave at 6plus on most days.
Anyway, my nagging thought was that we will be getting married this year and plans to set up a family. Yet, he doesn't give me the assurance of being stable and ready to set up a family. I tried to brush this anxiety feeling inside but since he told me, it actually keeps me up whole night. I am usually a person who have no problem sleeping and i'm kinda chill kind of person but this really affects me. I'm not sure if it's my natural instinct that cause me to be overly concern due to my growing up years, as my father was very irresponsible and doesn't care for the family nor work to support the family, or if i do have a valid concern. I feel that a man and a father of a family should be someone willing to take hardship to provide for the family. He need not be rich or earns alot but it should be in his natural tendency to step up and be a man, as a leader and provider of the family. In fact, i earn a comfortable salary about double of his and he is not from a rich family so it is not like i am looking for a rich husband.
It's just that it bothers me that we are going to set up a family but he don't find it a problem that there is no concrete plan before quitting a job. He say he can also take the opportunity to rest and let his health recuperate as his health is weak ( no serious illness just in general weak)
I am on a one year sabbatical this year. I had been working for more than 10 years and was doing pretty decent in my career and had a reasonable saving to allow me the sabbatical. In addition, i was planning for this year to focus on some initiatives i had always wanted to do. Since i am now in my sabbatical, it would be unfair for me to tell him he can't quit his job and do what he likes. So i told him to just do that his heart tells him. But if i had known in advance he wants to quit, i may think twice about going for my break from work. A couple with both not working and a housing loan doesn't sound exciting to me, not to mention any plan to have children.
I have been thinking and i feel that it is his life and he should have the rights to do whatever his heart tells him. At the same time, i think he is not ready for a family and i have phobia to be married to someone with traits that reminds me of my father although i don't think he is that extreme like my father.
I am seriously thinking of calling off the wedding. I feel that this is best for him and best for me. What do you think?
Recently he has a new boss and work is not as enjoyable as before. He just told me that he intends to quit his job. I told him that he should quit his job only after he is clear what he wants to do. Afterall he can still keep the job while he look for another. But he felt that he don't have time to find a job if he is with the company. He usually leaves work around 6 plus on most days although his day time is very stressful according to him. Compared to when i was doing hectic job, days when working into weekends was norm when i was a fresh graduate, to days when i work till 2-3am everyday on the computer, or in another job where leaving office at 9plus was the norm, i thought it was not bad that his job allows him to leave at 6plus on most days.
Anyway, my nagging thought was that we will be getting married this year and plans to set up a family. Yet, he doesn't give me the assurance of being stable and ready to set up a family. I tried to brush this anxiety feeling inside but since he told me, it actually keeps me up whole night. I am usually a person who have no problem sleeping and i'm kinda chill kind of person but this really affects me. I'm not sure if it's my natural instinct that cause me to be overly concern due to my growing up years, as my father was very irresponsible and doesn't care for the family nor work to support the family, or if i do have a valid concern. I feel that a man and a father of a family should be someone willing to take hardship to provide for the family. He need not be rich or earns alot but it should be in his natural tendency to step up and be a man, as a leader and provider of the family. In fact, i earn a comfortable salary about double of his and he is not from a rich family so it is not like i am looking for a rich husband.
It's just that it bothers me that we are going to set up a family but he don't find it a problem that there is no concrete plan before quitting a job. He say he can also take the opportunity to rest and let his health recuperate as his health is weak ( no serious illness just in general weak)
I am on a one year sabbatical this year. I had been working for more than 10 years and was doing pretty decent in my career and had a reasonable saving to allow me the sabbatical. In addition, i was planning for this year to focus on some initiatives i had always wanted to do. Since i am now in my sabbatical, it would be unfair for me to tell him he can't quit his job and do what he likes. So i told him to just do that his heart tells him. But if i had known in advance he wants to quit, i may think twice about going for my break from work. A couple with both not working and a housing loan doesn't sound exciting to me, not to mention any plan to have children.
I have been thinking and i feel that it is his life and he should have the rights to do whatever his heart tells him. At the same time, i think he is not ready for a family and i have phobia to be married to someone with traits that reminds me of my father although i don't think he is that extreme like my father.
I am seriously thinking of calling off the wedding. I feel that this is best for him and best for me. What do you think?
