Unfaithful & Abusive husband

[Pamelang]

Hi,
I'm married to a businessman for 13 years and we have 2 kids. As my husband's business was doing well, I stopped working since we have the first kid so I am financially dependent on him.

In the recent years, his business went downhill and he was not able to clinch as many deals as before. He would vent his frustrations on me and the kids whenever he is stressed about work. And to make things worse, I found out that he's having an affair with a woman from China for almost a year now. So far I've been suffering in silence and have not broach the topic on divorce as I am afraid of losing this family.

However, I've given this matter a long and thorough thought and decided to get a divorce. I've since shifted to my parents place with my kids. I would like to seek advice for the following please:

1. Recommendations for lawyer who's good at handling divorce cases that charges reasonable fees.

2. Are there legal implications if I stop him from seeing the kids? Originally we planned for a trip to New Zealand and he told me that he wanted to go ahead and bring the kids. Do I have the rights to refuse him given that I've not file any divorce papers? My worry is that he will use this case against me when we go to court.

Hoping to find some answers here as I am at a loss.

Thanks.

 

[life_is]

1) consider whether divorce is the best option. Perhaps you have been neglecting him during this time? Better try to work things out first. There are ways to "win" this as I have seen almost every common tactic available in the book. Question is whether you still want this marriage.

2) allow him to bring. Even though nothing will happen to you even if you deny him from seeing his kids until the divorce is finalised. The process may take many years if you drag it out. That means he won't get to see his children much. Advising because you should not deny children of their parents, even if the system gives you advantages when you do so.

Ask again if you want the winning tactics.

 

[Pamelang]

1) consider whether divorce is the best option. Perhaps you have been neglecting him during this time? Better try to work things out first. There are ways to "win" this as I have seen almost every common tactic available in the book. Question is whether you still want this marriage.

2) allow him to bring. Even though nothing will happen to you even if you deny him from seeing his kids until the divorce is finalised. The process may take many years if you drag it out. That means he won't get to see his children much. Advising because you should not deny children of their parents, even if the system gives you advantages when you do so.

Ask again if you want the winning tactics.

Hi,

Thanks so much for your reply.

A reconciliation is not possible as he is unrepentant and had already agreed to the divorce. May I know what are the winning tactics?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Infernolord]

Hi,

Thanks so much for your reply.

A reconciliation is not possible as he is unrepentant and had already agreed to the divorce. May I know what are the winning tactics?

Thanks in advance.

Well, in this forum. There is one lady who boast about herself on how she beat the lawyers and won her divorce case.
You might want to PM her. Her nick is Gladjo .
Although i discourage you to approach her because she quite bias, but seem like she is the most "experienced" and advise many forumers here.

 

[life_is]

Hi,

Thanks so much for your reply.

A reconciliation is not possible as he is unrepentant and had already agreed to the divorce. May I know what are the winning tactics?

Thanks in advance.

The dark side to family law. Not to be used if you want to be a decent person.

1) good move with children staying with you at parents. You are allowed to deny all access to the children until divorce proceedings start and the judge starts to overrule. If he visits, start provoking him by slamming the doors on him and hurt yourself to make police reports later. Ensure that no one will be a witness to help him. If he has a witness, use the neighbours if possible and threaten to call police for trespassing. He cannot see his children if you don't let him. Even if you hurt the children in his presence, he has no case against you unless he has a witness willing to testify. Guaranteed to work as a lawyer has told me before that these will prevent him access.
2) cut off all communication with him and refuse to cooperate for co parenting under all circumstances. This will ensure he has no case to get care and control. You will be guaranteed at least child maintenance.
3) start making it expensive to have kids by buying birds nest and expensive food. Use it for medical reasons or simply nutrition. Accumulated receipts to prove that it is expensive to have kids. That will maximise the amount you can farm out of him.
4) every time he contacts you in person, bring a friend along and make police report straight after he is spotted by telling your friend he is harassing you. Ask your friend to make report so you have a compelling case. This will ensure he has no means of seeing the children nor any means of negotiating an amicable divorce.
5) if you are good at pretending to be victim, start going for free marriage counselling and make all sorts of wild accusations against him for bad behaviour in marriage and how it is impossible to continue with him. MSF will help you even if you are a serial child abuser.
6) hire a PI and make sure you got evidence of him cheating. That will strengthen your case.
7) say you haven't been working. So start spending like crazy now to make your expenditure really high, to put up a case for more alimony. That is how you can get super comfortable life for no work.
8) say the children are still young and need a home. That will ensure he loses his roof. Judges will help you on this, in best interests of children. Then stay with parents after divorce and rent out for cash. Don't worry, my ex managed to pull this off so you can for sure.
9) if you have lots of money to burn, bring ic and marriage certificate to all possible strong lawyers. Make your case known to them so he can't hire them to fight you. That will force him to use weak ones so he cannot win this.
10) start brainwashing the kids so they will not want to be with him. If they are below 12 years of age they can be beaten into submission and cannot have a choice of parent to stay with, as these are the rules here. Even police and MSF will help you even if you beat them for no reason as that can be justified as 'discipline'. Be apologetic once he tries to make a case and counsellors will be on your side. To make the case more compelling, let your parents do the dirty deeds of abuse so you can have a backup case at police station to prevent him of any access should he find out about the abuse. Ensure that you have a relative to stay with if child protection services kicks in and let your parents take the fall so you can continue to beat the children into silence and he won't have a case even during investigations. Ask your parents to justify beating children by saying it was the norm for them to beat children and act ignorant about current regulations for disciplining children.
11) drag out the case as long as possible until he gives in to everything or the legal system simply closes the case without further investigations. That will ensure you get what you want.

Speaking from experience and from the inputs given by lawyers who tell me there is no justice in family law. Of course, no changes will happen for the next 100 years so don't worry. If these tactics don't work, ask me for help again and I will help you defend your case by using my example.

 

[miloice]

The dark side to family law. Not to be used if you want to be a decent person.

1) good move with children staying with you at parents. You are allowed to deny all access to the children until divorce proceedings start and the judge starts to overrule. If he visits, start provoking him by slamming the doors on him and hurt yourself to make police reports later. Ensure that no one will be a witness to help him. If he has a witness, use the neighbours if possible and threaten to call police for trespassing. He cannot see his children if you don't let him. Even if you hurt the children in his presence, he has no case against you unless he has a witness willing to testify. Guaranteed to work as a lawyer has told me before that these will prevent him access.
2) cut off all communication with him and refuse to cooperate for co parenting under all circumstances. This will ensure he has no case to get care and control. You will be guaranteed at least child maintenance.
3) start making it expensive to have kids by buying birds nest and expensive food. Use it for medical reasons or simply nutrition. Accumulated receipts to prove that it is expensive to have kids. That will maximise the amount you can farm out of him.
4) every time he contacts you in person, bring a friend along and make police report straight after he is spotted by telling your friend he is harassing you. Ask your friend to make report so you have a compelling case. This will ensure he has no means of seeing the children nor any means of negotiating an amicable divorce.
5) if you are good at pretending to be victim, start going for free marriage counselling and make all sorts of wild accusations against him for bad behaviour in marriage and how it is impossible to continue with him. MSF will help you even if you are a serial child abuser.
6) hire a PI and make sure you got evidence of him cheating. That will strengthen your case.
7) say you haven't been working. So start spending like crazy now to make your expenditure really high, to put up a case for more alimony. That is how you can get super comfortable life for no work.
8) say the children are still young and need a home. That will ensure he loses his roof. Judges will help you on this, in best interests of children. Then stay with parents after divorce and rent out for cash. Don't worry, my ex managed to pull this off so you can for sure.
9) if you have lots of money to burn, bring ic and marriage certificate to all possible strong lawyers. Make your case known to them so he can't hire them to fight you. That will force him to use weak ones so he cannot win this.
10) start brainwashing the kids so they will not want to be with him. If they are below 12 years of age they can be beaten into submission and cannot have a choice of parent to stay with, as these are the rules here. Even police and MSF will help you even if you beat them for no reason as that can be justified as 'discipline'. Be apologetic once he tries to make a case and counsellors will be on your side. To make the case more compelling, let your parents do the dirty deeds of abuse so you can have a backup case at police station to prevent him of any access should he find out about the abuse. Ensure that you have a relative to stay with if child protection services kicks in and let your parents take the fall so you can continue to beat the children into silence and he won't have a case even during investigations. Ask your parents to justify beating children by saying it was the norm for them to beat children and act ignorant about current regulations for disciplining children.
11) drag out the case as long as possible until he gives in to everything or the legal system simply closes the case without further investigations. That will ensure you get what you want.

Speaking from experience and from the inputs given by lawyers who tell me there is no justice in family law. Of course, no changes will happen for the next 100 years so don't worry. If these tactics don't work, ask me for help again and I will help you defend your case by using my example.

Well... i hear of the same from a lady friend, her ex husband intimidates his son and basically hand him to his parents each day where he has custody of the kid. Whenever, she is late to bring the son back home for the pick up, uses police reports all the time to document as evidence to be used in court. Grandparents tries really hard to brainwash and bad mouth about his mother in hope that their grandson would prefer to be with them.

 

[life_is]

Well... i hear of the same from a lady friend, her ex husband intimidates his son and basically hand him to his parents each day where he has custody of the kid. Whenever, she is late to bring the son back home for the pick up, uses police reports all the time to document as evidence to be used in court. Grandparents tries really hard to brainwash and bad mouth about his mother in hope that their grandson would prefer to be with them.

Only the parent with care and control can do this. My son is intimidated to the extent that he would not dare to tell anything as he knows I can't protect him. Didn't even dare to report police when he got a bruised eye from his maternal grandfather as I know the police would not be fair and child protective services will only protect abusers. Police and MSF mishandled the abuse case and created this scenario where he knows I can't protect him from abuse. Not afraid to share these tactics to the public since the authorities are so biased. Women who use them will always win. Men can't win this unless they got a stupid woman who will sign certain documents to lock their positions in.