Traditional Ceremony Across the Causeway

[nathusiast]

I am a Malaysian residing in Singapore, and my fiance is a Singaporean. For my AD, my parents would prefer that I depart from my hometown in JB. My fiance have no objections to that but I am not sure about the procedures.

Any bride have done this before?

 

[imerryu]

Hi Natalie,

Yes, my university friend is a malaysian. The groom travel from Singapore to JB to pick her up. All of us(the bridesmaids) stayed at her house the night before. She even arrange for a photographer from singapore to go over the night before wedding day. She only did her tea-ceremony for parents. The rest of the relative at night before the banquet in singapore. Hope it helps

 

[nathusiast]

i typed a lengthy reply but it's no where to be found ):

thank you merry, your info certainly helped. now that i know that receiving the bride from across the causeway can be done.

as my ideal schedule is pretty different from the usual, i was afraid some may be considered as a taboo/elders will not allow.

my ideal schedule is as follows:
1) sisters to stayover at my JB place. those who are unable to, a family member of mine to pick them up in SG 1 hour before groom's scheduled arrival
2) groom arrive at my place
3) aft gatecrash, serve tea to my parents and relatives first
4) travel to Singapore (to charter bus for relatives)
5) proceed to groom's house for tea ceremony. family and relatives to proceed to solemnization venue first
6) solemnization
7) buffet reception
>> we are not sure whether to hold the wedding dinner on the same or different day.

did i miss out anything?
do comment on any part that is deemed inappropriate.

 

[priscilla0980]

Hi Nat...ur schedule looks fine...but i personally think ur fiance should consult his parents first on '3) aft gatecrash, serve tea to my parents and relatives first'...like u said...some folks may not like it...they may say its ok but their heart might not feel so...and if they end up talking abt it to other relatives(it could be juz a casual chat)...den unhappiness may start to flow around...Though i have not gone through this stage yet, i had heard stories from a fren's wedding...there were unhappiness from groom's side n it spreaded to other relatives too...1 of them made things ugly n caused bride's side unhappy too...though there wasnt much hoo-ha at the banquet...but i can feel the aura...hahaha...so try to strike a balance somewhere...hope things work well for u!

Here's my suggestion:
3) aft gatecrash, travel to Singapore (to charter bus for relatives)
4) proceed to groom's house for tea ceremony.
5)ur family and relatives to proceed to solemnization venue first then serve tea

 

[nathusiast]

hi Pris.. that sounds scary and thinking about it now, is likely to happen given that fiance's family/relatives are pretty prideful people.. and i can't expect them to understand that we just want things to go on smoothly and conveniently instead of doing it the trad way, traveling to and fro homes - groom > bride > groom > bride > groom again - which in this case can be quite silly to do because we have considerations like distance and traffic conditions. and if we use that reason, my MIL may altogether request me to depart from a hotel in Singapore which my house-proud parents will disapprove of. -_-|| they are really like AVP.

i guess your suggestions to the alternative schedule should work fine for my folks as long as i å‡ºå« from JB.

now i'm thinking maybe it's wiser to hold banquet on the same day since my relatives are all being transported to Sg already.

 

[priscilla0980]

ya...might as well hold altogether...den will have the 'married feeling'...coz u already å‡ºå« from JB...its logical tht banquet follows next... if u juz wanna sign n no banquet...den no point doing the travelling n mobilize the whole family..