Problem with in-laws to be.... Help!!

P

PatChan

Member
I'm not sure if I'm just being over-sensitive or what, but seriously, I just need to voice out some where!
Series of incidents that happen which really drive me crazy!!

1: We had been planning for our wedding soon after we got our flat. But after all the research and attending all the wedding shows, I was told that I cannot hold my before his sister does, when his sister did not even have a date on hand let alone any form of planning.
2: a day just before her (mil) daughter's wedding, I got scolding over not letting out my car to his son when I was only informed in the morning before I left for work that they needed the car.
3. On the day of her wedding, I was told not to be a busybody to poke my nose into their gate crash session by mil, afterwhich I rest back somewhere in a corner enjoying my game, then she (mil) ask me to join and watch the gate crash again....
4. Before her daughter's wedding she was still complaining to me that the SIL is not proactive on the parents meet up, after asking for several times then it finally happens...
5. A month a so later after her daughter pregn, I found out that I'm preg too... But, her very first reaction was asking if the banquet will be cancelled... follow by nagging me to go for TOP.
6. It's already 3 mths to the AD... both parents had yet to meet up to talk abt the marriage... When my htb and I finalized a date for them to meet, she's asking if we can move the date again coz she was tempted to go for a holiday over that particula weekend!
At the particular point of time I have only a sentence in my mind.... 己所不欲，勿施与人 （Dont expect others to accept what you cant) I'm also my mum's dear daughter, you may think that your SIL do not have much sincerity on marrying your daughter, what do yo think your behaviour is showing.
I got so pissed when I heard about her comment, and I told her that we do not have much time left, cant really push this any further then I walk back off to my room. So pissed yet no one to turn to! ARgh~~~
 


Haha haha haha. I know I feel like moving home already. And before my flat is ready... yes I will be staying with her... :(
 
bite the bullet and endure. your flat will be ready soon.
 
I can imagined that...i have same set of prob too with my future mil...n to one pt i can't stand i give them a piece of my words... tru their son...so things better for now but i believe there be more after marriage n staying together while waiting for my hse to ready :(

I think at time we need to speak out but always do it tru their son as no matter how bad it is they will rather tk it from their son than hearing from us..good luck.
 
ichinx said:
I can imagined that...i have same set of prob too with my future mil...n to one pt i can't stand i give them a piece of my words... tru their son...so things better for now but i believe there be more after marriage n staying together while waiting for my hse to ready :(

I think at time we need to speak out but always do it tru their son as no matter how bad it is they will rather tk it from their son than hearing from us..good luck.
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You are lucky enought that your hubby would help.....
I'm not that lucky after all.. =( it's not always that he will listen, it comes to a point where I dont even want to voice out a single thing to him. To him, It's always I'm too sensitive or I had been thinking too much, Imagine too much, at times, to him I'm actually the unreasonable one. So I chose to keep it to myself and find a place to shout out. :(:(:(
 
We decided to bring forward the parents meet up to Tue, since it's a PH. Guess what... I was happily enjoying my supper last night, and she started rolling with qns and pre-empt warning abt the meetup.... ARGH!!!

She keep asking if she need to bring along anyone for the talk, and ask who will be there from my place, I told her perhaps my god-ma will join that's all, she gave me a very irritated reaction showing how unplease she is with my answer. With that she still ask if my uncles and aunties will be arround... (duh.... I tot my answer was clear enough)

After that, she start to repeat herself...Saying that she want to tell me in advance not to request too many things, then ask me if my mum is going to request alot this and that and I must understand that his son ability is restricted blah blah blah, that they are all employees and dun have much ability... I was so FREAKing PISSed that I reaally feel like telling her that of coz I know how well your son is doing, further more, this wedding is not paid solely by him, dun sound as though I not forking out a single cent when I had been paying for so much things already. And how much I wanted to tell her, If i really want a well-earning husband i wouldnt even had picked her son in the first place...
 
PatChan said:
You are lucky enought that your hubby would help.....
I'm not that lucky after all.. =( it's not always that he will listen, it comes to a point where I dont even want to voice out a single thing to him. To him, It's always I'm too sensitive or I had been thinking too much, Imagine too much, at times, to him I'm actually the unreasonable one. So I chose to keep it to myself and find a place to shout out. :(:(:(
Click to expand...

Oh i was not as lucky as you think as my htb it's a soft person and can't stand up on situation. We fought and several times i call for break up but i am glad that he learned to know what's important for us to move on as a couple and he tried his best to work it out. We came a long way and i am sure more to come after marriage and we move in. The important is you must have this sort out with your hubby and at least have some support else life going to be more though after marriage and live in as there be more set of problem.
 
oh gosh. i think my bf's mom is the same "type". what's worse is that i'm the confrontational type. I would be aggressive if you cross the line, regardless of how old you are. The other way is for me to give her the "wtf do you want" stare and walk away without engaging in any verbal quarrels.

I hope you will get your flat soon. I honestly don't understand why moms are so attached to their sons. I mean, shouldn't you be happy for him? My ex's mom was so happy I was with him, so much that she kept asking if I wanted to join them for dinners on a daily basis. My current bf's mom calls him 20 times whenever he's on a date with me and is not home by 11pm. He's not 18 you know. sigh.
 
veryhappyfeet said:
oh gosh. i think my bf's mom is the same "type". what's worse is that i'm the confrontational type. I would be aggressive if you cross the line, regardless of how old you are. The other way is for me to give her the "wtf do you want" stare and walk away without engaging in any verbal quarrels.

I hope you will get your flat soon. I honestly don't understand why moms are so attached to their sons. I mean, shouldn't you be happy for him? My ex's mom was so happy I was with him, so much that she kept asking if I wanted to join them for dinners on a daily basis. My current bf's mom calls him 20 times whenever he's on a date with me and is not home by 11pm. He's not 18 you know. sigh.
Click to expand...

Well, your character is abit like my sister who is confrontational, which is actually good. I used to hear her complaining abt her MIL, these days it seems that her MIL is afraid of her more. and start to respect each other. I'm the soft person, who dare not confront senior.. and ya.... my mil will keep calling him when we are out. at times when we go out during weekends she will keep calling at night and even when we are just 5 mins away from home, she can still keep talking on the phone...
 
Move out asap.

In this occasion, living with the MIL will be tough for everyone. Your HB will always be stuck in the middle, and both you and MIL will be unhappy.

She has to realise that her son has grown up and is starting his own family. Every married couple should have their own space. Unless MIL is super understanding and accommodating, I would not advise anyone to try it. In your case, it is mostly her way or the highway, so move out asap for the sake of your marriage.
 
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