Please advise, I am at a lost..

[snowpuff]

Hi all, I wish to sought some advises/opinion here.

I am married to my husband for nearly a year, but things have gone bad drastically for a few months already. I have a 7 months old son (yes it was a shotgun marriage) who is under the care of my MIL. Currently, I am living with my in laws till my BTO flat is ready in 3.5 years' time.

But both of us have come to a decision to file for separation since we feel the marriage is not gonna work out. I don't think there is much feelings left for each other since we quarrel daily. We are seeing a marriage counsellor but didn't seem to be of much help.

Now comes the problematic part. If we were to file for separation, most likely I will be going to stay at my parents' place. But they can't provide care for my son as things are kinda complicated at their side as they have to take care of my dementia grandma and my dad is not physically well of late. And it doesn't help when my sister's daughter is under their daycare during weekdays. They do have a maid at their side but mum claims that the workload is overwhelming for her.

My husband and I agreed to have joint custody, but I don't think at my end I have a proper place for my son to live in. I am currently trying to convince my parents to let him stayover from Friday night to Sunday, but I am not sure if my dad is agreeable.

I am contemplating renting a room, but which means it would add on to my expenses plus I don't earn that much.

Kind of at lost now. Would appreciate some opinions and advises. Thank you.

 

[Chin Hokia]

you have the following options:

1. Try to work it out with your husband to jointly bring up your son until you can do it on your own. This is called buying time.

2. Look for women or even men with the same situation as you, and you all pool resources to help each other. But be careful though, if you find the wrong person, it will mean more problem.

3. Look to AWARE, church, temples, government or any social services for assistance.

Of the three, option 1 is easier and simpler because both your husband and you have responsibility towards the child, regardless if you like each other.

 

[verysadguy]

How about trying to rent a flat from HDB? Looks like the best way forward. The rent is cheaper as they base it on your income level.