Platonic relationship


Do u mean to ask if we believe in platonic friendship? Friendship is a type of relationship isn't?
 
TS, not too sure which prospectives are you looking from. I personally can accept a platonic relation with an opposite sex but not for my counterpart (ex spouse). Yes, you heard me right. Its one side for me because i am not sex up whereas evidences had shown otherwise for my ex. In a nutshell, i am totally convinced sex does comes into the way of platonic relationships unless both or either parties has totally no sexual inclinations. Yes I am bias ..... from experience.
 
I don't know leh. My wife said she doesn't believe in platonic relationship. So I stayed away from such friendship.

God is fair .... while she threw her problems with me to a handsome young man at work. I knew they do go for 'dates' (dinners and drinks) together ... maybe kiss kiss confirmed got (more I don't know). Young man left her company and do regional support work. We (young man and me) were introduced by a mutual friend in Vietnam and I suspected him as the guy my wife was sharing our issues with ....because of name and ex company he was from. I not sure whether he tied me up with the married lady he was dining with? Anyways, we became buddies and he invited me to his wedding in KL.

Hahaha. I told my wife "We are going for a friend's wedding in KL next week." I didn't tell her the friend's name. What a big show? Her face turned pale when she saw the groom and I never saw sweats formed in guy's face so fast. I commented "Busy day ah? Need fan or not?". Hehehe. I acted blur blur .... and laughing out loud inside.
 
Try to avoid is the best ... when a man goes out with a woman 1 on 1 even though they have known each other for a long time often causes misunderstandings ... unless they are siblings lol
 
The level of trust between spouse is not there?
There are lines we know it shouldn't be crossed. If friends are respectful, there is nothing. It doesn't matter if I find my friend hot or not. She is my good friend, I have a good marriage. The priorities are clear. We don't just have one kind of relationship with women. Friends do not discriminate on gender. If we click as buddies for life, that is something worth maintaining. If individuals are open and sensitive enough towards our spouse, platonic friendships can always be maintain. Often, couples that couldn't trust, reflects the cracks from within. Just how honest you are about it. If one is spending more time with friend than spouse and family, it is also a reflection abt his or her priorities. When we are honest, we know the truth.
 
Hmmm .... if you have seen my earlier post. My wife certainly had an emotional affair with the guy (my latest friend).

That guy never called me or invited me for a drink anymore after his wedding day. Hehehe.
 
Staypositive said:
There is no such thing as a platonic relationship between a guy and a lady. They can be friends but to a certain limit.no such thing as two Best friends of the opposite gender in a pure friendship.
Click to expand...

It really depends on individual. I have a bff and he's a guy. He treats me like a bro and I treat him like my b****. LOL. He seriously can gossip just as much as women. You have to set the boundaries of the friendship.

I will always intro my partner to my bff and they can get along which is good for all of us cos then we can all hang out together or sometimes if it's just me and my bff, my partner would be fine.
 
hmm nothing is wrong with that. I have 4 buddies and a few good friends. They are all consider "above average" babes. lol
Nothing wrong with that. You have to draw the line very clear and intro your partner to them.

Buddies do not feel upset with u when u get attached and slowly move away from them. Even meet up even once or twice a year is totally fine, which i did and my buddies are attached and understanding too.
You do not have to meet them up very often specially if anyone of you attached. That's a common understanding.

I think whats cross a line is when your buddy gets angry with you because u dun meet him/her that often.
He/she expect you to be there any time they need you.
He/she mind that your partner comes along during the meeting.
Other obvious reasons.

I dated one of my ex, She also have alot of "best friend", buy her gifts, ask her out dinner and get angry if she dun meet up.
Asked her to go solo trip with him knowing she has a bf. (*** isnit this obvious?? )
So i think one shld be sensible enough to know, and not arguing that because of your partner you might lost this friend.
Honestly they might be up to something no good, looking for a chance.
 
Infernolord said:
hmm nothing is wrong with that. I have 4 buddies and a few good friends. They are all consider "above average" babes. lol
Nothing wrong with that. You have to draw the line very clear and intro your partner to them.

Buddies do not feel upset with u when u get attached and slowly move away from them. Even meet up even once or twice a year is totally fine, which i did and my buddies are attached and understanding too.
You do not have to meet them up very often specially if anyone of you attached. That's a common understanding.

I think whats cross a line is when your buddy gets angry with you because u dun meet him/her that often.
He/she expect you to be there any time they need you.
He/she mind that your partner comes along during the meeting.
Other obvious reasons.

I dated one of my ex, She also have alot of "best friend", buy her gifts, ask her out dinner and get angry if she dun meet up.
Asked her to go solo trip with him knowing she has a bf. (*** isnit this obvious?? )
So i think one shld be sensible enough to know, and not arguing that because of your partner you might lost this friend.
Honestly they might be up to something no good, looking for a chance.
Click to expand...
I kinda disagree infernolord.

Maybe for you you can have "above average" babes as close friends and won't be swayed but you are a unique case (your dating history taught you that girls with very good looks tend to be hard to handle).

Leaving that aside if you wife to be objects and feels you are spending too much time with them and says from now on you cannot meet them alone without her?

Would you humor her?
 
newproject said:
(your dating history taught you that girls with very good looks tend to be hard to handle).
Click to expand...

agreed with this sentence, was out with a pretty lady friend yesterday where she was complaining about her current bf which i find is caught in a cross fire between his parents and my friend.
there are actually many better choices that my friend could have settle for but she ended up with this guy and he is especially tolerant of the crap she has done in the past year (wasting money on holidays, partying like crazy and some minor drug abuse) which i won't be able to take it personally as her bf.
she cry halfway through our conversation in a quiet place, as much as i want to hug and comfort her, i thought the best i could do is to offer her some tissue paper to wipe her tears.
deep inside, if there is any issue she should trash out, it will be with her bf while i'm just there to provide a listening ear while she accompanies me for dinner despite of my busy workload in the office.
as a man, if we can keep our priorities clear, there will not be any further complicating issues with friends of the opposite sex.
 
As for me, married (20+ yrs) guy - we stated our preferences early .... ie "no 1-on-1 dates with opposite sex" cos we cannot predict what happened next. So we don't do that ... my wife do have men friends but all introduced to me so I know who they are and they know me too.
 
Platonic friendships with opposite gender is possible, but difficult to maintain that balance. Both parties need to respect boundaries and do not cross that line. It is difficult especially when one starts to feel too emotionally connected and involved with the other and wants to go beyond a friendship. Therefore, platonic friendship IS possible, but both parties need to respect and understand that there are boundaries, ie, if both parties already have their own spouses. So both need to respect that they cannot be anything more than just friends. Clear communication needs to be set and there must be trust and respect (as friends), not to overstep boundaries. It just feels childish to know that some people cannot be friends with the opposite sex because they're easily swayed and they are emotionally vulnerable enough to do so. Are people not firm enough in their own marriage/relationship? People need more self-control. I believe if both parties in a platonic friendship are already in happy relationships/marriage with their own respective spouses, they have no reason to sway and their hearts will not be vulnerable enough to start falling for each other.

Only people in vulnerable and emotionally distant/emotionally empty relationships/marriages will find themselves starting to sway and fall for their platonic friend.

I believe there are definitely people who have enough self-control to know what are the boundaries, please. As long as people have a sense of responsibility, platonic friendships are possible.

However, do not keep secrets from your spouse and do not do anything that you would not want them to end up doing to you too. ie, to the men reading this, if you do not want to see your wife go out on a 1-to-1 dinner with her male colleague and keep it as a secret from you, then please do not go on a 1-to-1 dinner with your female colleague too and keep it as a secret from your wife.
 
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