Need Advice from Fellow Single Moms

[Precious.summer]

My bf and I have been dating for a year now and that we have plans to get married.

We started having a small chat on some of the details at the wedding last night and then got stuck at the attendance of my daughter at the wedding. From the start of our relationship, he knows I'm a single mother with a lovely daughter and that he had also informed his immediate family about it.

But as you know wedding dinner involves many many other parties and that his family runs a business so I understand that he also has the "face" issue if he has to explain to his extended families as well as the family business friends know that I'm actually a single mother.

My bf doesn't mind but I understand what he will be facing and really hope I can come out with a win win situation. I was thinking if anyone else faced before or is facing the same issue as me and how did you resolve it in the end?

 

[Tarryn]

My bf and I have been dating for a year now and that we have plans to get married.

We started having a small chat on some of the details at the wedding last night and then got stuck at the attendance of my daughter at the wedding. From the start of our relationship, he knows I'm a single mother with a lovely daughter and that he had also informed his immediate family about it.

But as you know wedding dinner involves many many other parties and that his family runs a business so I understand that he also has the "face" issue if he has to explain to his extended families as well as the family business friends know that I'm actually a single mother.

My bf doesn't mind but I understand what he will be facing and really hope I can come out with a win win situation. I was thinking if anyone else faced before or is facing the same issue as me and how did you resolve it in the end?

How old is your daughter?

 

[Precious.summer]

Hi Tarryn,

she's turning 9.

 

[Tarryn]

Since there's no 'hiding the fact that you are a single mother, you might as well just be prepared to deal with it. Just remember, it might NOT be that bad. We cant change what other people think, what we can do is to "control" how not to over-think & over analyze the situation on our part.
Having said that, how did the immediate family react to your situation? If they are OK, your battle is almost won.

This happened to my friend (Katie) some years back. The immediate family of the guy side is OK. They are pretty broad minded. What the couple & the family did, was to down play everything- meaning they didn't go around telling & informing everyone (other relatives) about my friend being a single mum. Because they figure 1) they don't have to, since they accept it, so should the rest. 2)it's private, therefore they don't 'need to' answer to anyone else & 3) nobody will care anyway 4) if you have to 'explain', it kind of reflect that it's not OK (which is definitely not what you want to portray here. )

In fact most relatives only saw Katie during the wedding day. What they see is a pretty ,28 yrs old girl, that's works in the bank. So the whole wedding went by as all wedding goes, everyone is so busy. Katie's sister & us friends took care of the child throughout the wedding & let her enjoy her big day. Nobody ask who's the kid & we didn't explain. We had a great time, & I was so happy for her.
You'll be surprise how OK people are about such things. If you guys take it as 'natural' & fine, others will too. I also don't think you need to 'explain' anything. Just enjoy your new family & wedding, it'll be fine.
Hope that helps

 

[Precious.summer]

@Tarryn Thanks so much for your reply! I guess I've to do it this way too.

Thanks, I really appreciate it.

 

[octobride]

I agree with Tarryn. Don't have to explain. As long as your HTB's family accept you, who cares about the opinions of other people? Just enjoy your big day!

 

[Forest ang]

First of all, a big congrats!
Dun let what other people think affect you on your BIG day.

Not easy being a single mum..Kudos to you
U deserve to be happy!