Mixed feelings.. Anyone in similar situations?

But in french, it’s different from SG, as due to feminism movement, the guys help out with the housework too. The movement is so strong that right now, girls regardless married a not are called Madame, mademoiselle no longer exist in the government papers. And we get to choose to keep our family name. The french called it ‘young girl name’ (nom de jeune fille)

I live in a 200m2 house. It is impossible for me to clean the house alone. Hence, my husband helps out too. But sometimes, we engage part time cleaners to help us, about 10€/hr.

But in the bright side, you don’t need to do the dishes as majority of the french have a dishwasher. And the laundry is easy too as we have a washing machine and a dryer.
 


And if the french are struggling to get through everyday’s life. No one will want to have kids, like in Singapore, because it’s too expensive. But the average birth rate in France is at 2. Means that each couple on average is giving birth to 2 kids, unlike in Singapore, the average birth rate is at 0.8/0.9 or so.
 

Cath_rina

Member
My bf said he doesn't understand some of your post and most of your info can be googled. So you are a Singaporean man pretending to know france to defend your fellow singaporean man like that anti singaporean girl scotchtape loser singaporean man. Go and serve your ns or find your prc prostitute. stop being a nuisance.
 
How many times must I say I’m a girl? You don’t understand English or what? Do you need to go back to school?

I got all the notifications early today. Seeing her insult my wife makes me all the more realise how ill bred she is. The best is to ignore her.
Please have a nice day.
 
You are just a Singaporean man defending your fellow loser. Cannot get a local girl so must say local girls no good.

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At least I have this. It’s something your imaginary bf can’t give you.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Not really true. I’m married to a french man living in France. It’s not expensive to get a nanny to care for your kids. It cost about 10€/hr and it is very common for french parents to engage a nanny to send the kid to school and pick the kid up and care for the kid until the parents is back.

The french government la CAF, give monthly allowance to families with kids, you can use that feed your kids.

Mothers do not have a 4 day work week. All my french female friends works 35 hours a week or 5 days a week. But if you have a newly born kid, the mother or the father is able to get one year leave to look after their kid, provided that the other continues working.

The french tax is really high, but you get free healthcare, free education, pension when you are old, when you are working and earning low pay, you get assistance from the government, or if you are trying to find a job, the government pays you like about 400€ before you find a job. And most people qualify for a tax rebate. Majority of the french do not suffer like you said.

And many companies offers CDD (contract) instead of CDI (permanent). Hence. If your screw up, you get lay off.

The only bad part about France is the government organisation as it takes really long to process your paperwork and they have so many different organisations that deals with different stuffs, so you need to know which organisation to go to.

I had a French team reporting to me some year back, their annual package and annual increment is really not very good in comparison with locally and less the taxes. For example, a team leader is earning around 40k euros annually before tax. I had pushed for his technical promotion and all he got was less than 1% increment. While in Beijing, the team got double digit increment and around 4-5% in Singapore. I lost the team leader, he relocated to Berlin where he is offered double the pay, free accommodation and the company also found a job for his wife. Colleagues from asia that relocated have all feedback to me that it is really expensive to employ help with the household and kids. When making comparisons, they are earning more in Singapore than France. It is difficult for the spouse as a foreigner to find employment. So, they lose out significantly in terms of household earnings.
 
I think it depends on the company itself. There are really great companies like Total and there are really crap companies. I think it’s the same as Singapore too. Just like how a McDonald worker in SG earns like $5/hr while in France they earn 9.8€/hr. and France has a law to protect their people against foreigner as they have really high unemployment rate. Hence, if the foreigners are not married to a french, it’s pretty hard to find a job here. And especially if they don’t have a level of B2 in french.
 

clem

Member
I had a French team reporting to me some year back, their annual package and annual increment is really not very good in comparison with locally and less the taxes. For example, a team leader is earning around 40k euros annually before tax. I had pushed for his technical promotion and all he got was less than 1% increment. While in Beijing, the team got double digit increment and around 4-5% in Singapore. I lost the team leader, he relocated to Berlin where he is offered double the pay, free accommodation and the company also found a job for his wife. Colleagues from asia that relocated have all feedback to me that it is really expensive to employ help with the household and kids. When making comparisons, they are earning more in Singapore than France. It is difficult for the spouse as a foreigner to find employment. So, they lose out significantly in terms of household earnings.

Cath,
This seems true. I suggest you get a German bf instead, who earns double the French.
You have to fight for your happiness! Don't let French cut your happiness by half!
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Cath,
This seems true. I suggest you get a German bf instead, who earns double the French.
You have to fight for your happiness! Don't let French cut your happiness by half!
oh.... she will love the german sausages and beer
 

brokenbride

New Member
Hi...

To the topic starter....

i believe both of you have not really recovered from the affair. It takes a lot of work from both sides to process the affair before you have fully recovered from this traumatic experience. Believe it or not, it will take 2 to 5 years for you to recover and move on from this. Thus whatever feelings you are experiencing right now is perfectly normal!

However to be able to do this...your spouse have to be actively involved! Marriage counselors can only help that much. He has to be really involved in helping you to address your pain, make sure that he is genuinely sorry for the pain he has inflicted upon the family. ..and not that he is sorry for being caught. If he is sorry that he is caught...he will do it again. Just with another willing party.
 

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