Hi all,
Browsing through the forum and just wondering if there is anyone out there struggling like me with similar situations.
To summarise, I discovered last year that my hubby of 9 years had an affair with a common friend and he cheated on me both physically and emotionally. Though i discovered early and he cut off all ties with her after making the decision to come back to me and the kids, he had sex with that woman for a couple of times! I know casual sex seems to be a commodity in this era, but couldn't help but still feel disgusted with his actions. Thoughts of the affair and his stupidity of hooking up with such woman still haunt me at times. Yet, on the other hand, everything seems to be back to normal on his end; he still made an effort to spend time with the kids and me, send me to work everyday, even when he have to wake up way earlier and even took extra effort to surprise me and all the usual things that he used to do before the affair. We can still talk about anything under the sun as before. In fact, our relationship seems to get stronger after that episode. The only taboo i believe is the mention of that affair, the blemish that he doesnt want to mention. That woman he doesnt want to even name.
Some times, it felt like the affair never happened. I wonder why the so called gaps in our relationship that he mentioned before are so quickly mend back. In fact, i actually felt genuinely happy with him, except of course those times i got reminded of those disgusting stuff he did with that woman. Cant get off the feeling of betrayal.. Both from hubby and that woman i once called my friend. Cannot understand why there are people who see nothing wrong with sleeping with married man, offering both her money and body. How can a woman stoop so low for that short satisfaction and even threaten suicide to give her best shot in breaking a family. And she did it 3 times! Three married man!! How can someone be so shameless? I struggled with such mixed feelings. Am i really on the road of recovery? Or i have not really forgiven my hubby.
Wonder how you guys cope with such extremities in thinking. I know on one hand i should treasure this relationship and what matters most is that we both decide to stay as a family. However, the other side of me cannot let go of the injustice. Especially when that woman did not have any karma upon her. I know its not for me to 'punish' her for her mistakes, nor do i have the right to make her pay for doing such things.. An evil side of me just wish i can slap her. Hai, how should i keep my mind away from such evil thoughts.
Browsing through the forum and just wondering if there is anyone out there struggling like me with similar situations.
To summarise, I discovered last year that my hubby of 9 years had an affair with a common friend and he cheated on me both physically and emotionally. Though i discovered early and he cut off all ties with her after making the decision to come back to me and the kids, he had sex with that woman for a couple of times! I know casual sex seems to be a commodity in this era, but couldn't help but still feel disgusted with his actions. Thoughts of the affair and his stupidity of hooking up with such woman still haunt me at times. Yet, on the other hand, everything seems to be back to normal on his end; he still made an effort to spend time with the kids and me, send me to work everyday, even when he have to wake up way earlier and even took extra effort to surprise me and all the usual things that he used to do before the affair. We can still talk about anything under the sun as before. In fact, our relationship seems to get stronger after that episode. The only taboo i believe is the mention of that affair, the blemish that he doesnt want to mention. That woman he doesnt want to even name.
Some times, it felt like the affair never happened. I wonder why the so called gaps in our relationship that he mentioned before are so quickly mend back. In fact, i actually felt genuinely happy with him, except of course those times i got reminded of those disgusting stuff he did with that woman. Cant get off the feeling of betrayal.. Both from hubby and that woman i once called my friend. Cannot understand why there are people who see nothing wrong with sleeping with married man, offering both her money and body. How can a woman stoop so low for that short satisfaction and even threaten suicide to give her best shot in breaking a family. And she did it 3 times! Three married man!! How can someone be so shameless? I struggled with such mixed feelings. Am i really on the road of recovery? Or i have not really forgiven my hubby.
Wonder how you guys cope with such extremities in thinking. I know on one hand i should treasure this relationship and what matters most is that we both decide to stay as a family. However, the other side of me cannot let go of the injustice. Especially when that woman did not have any karma upon her. I know its not for me to 'punish' her for her mistakes, nor do i have the right to make her pay for doing such things.. An evil side of me just wish i can slap her. Hai, how should i keep my mind away from such evil thoughts.