sunflower75
New Member
Do you feel more lonely as you grow older? If you are still single, do you feel more worried as you grow older and still single?
Lonely as you grow older
- Thread starter sunflower75
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never_the_same
New Member
Hi Sunflower, I do feel the same as you too sometimes, esp when you see most of your friends are happily attached or married.
But we shouldn't rush to get into a relationship just because of loneliness. Having someone by your side is great, but only if he/she is someone whom you enjoy the companionship, communication, and build a loving and trusting relationship together.
No point rushing into a r/s with someone who is not suitable for you. Take your time to rediscover yourself. Whether you have someone or not, it doesnt matter. What matters is how you live your life. Be happy. Take care.
But we shouldn't rush to get into a relationship just because of loneliness. Having someone by your side is great, but only if he/she is someone whom you enjoy the companionship, communication, and build a loving and trusting relationship together.
No point rushing into a r/s with someone who is not suitable for you. Take your time to rediscover yourself. Whether you have someone or not, it doesnt matter. What matters is how you live your life. Be happy. Take care.
sunflower75
New Member
What do you do to keep yourself happy? Sometimes its the companionship I needed. My friends are either attached or married with kids. They no longer had time for me. Even if we meet up, it will be at their house because of their young kids.
I can go shopping/travelling by myself but i never enjoyed it. I ended up more upset.
I can go shopping/travelling by myself but i never enjoyed it. I ended up more upset.
Hey Sunflower,
You can try salsa/social dancing (I made loads of friends from there), or join a book club if you like reading. Or if you like to sing, perhaps you may even want to audition with the Singapore Lyric Opera or Singapore Symphonic Chorus. Try developing on your current interests, if you're a bit shy to try something completely new.
You can try salsa/social dancing (I made loads of friends from there), or join a book club if you like reading. Or if you like to sing, perhaps you may even want to audition with the Singapore Lyric Opera or Singapore Symphonic Chorus. Try developing on your current interests, if you're a bit shy to try something completely new.
newbeginnings
New Member
I totally understand your loneliness fear. i agree with neverthesame. Make the best use of time to rediscover yourself. Being married doesn't guarantee you will not feel lonely or empty. Make the best use of time to do learn and rediscover yourselves..like music, dance..
Loneliness is something that is very much to do with One's character and outlook in life... Most times - we are Alone becos of our own doing, not becos of the environment nor frens having their lives.
Loneliness is a FEELING more than anything else. what makes a person lonely?
if i can be less diplomatic and slightly biased... it's often the same pple who put too much drama in their lives and need to react dramatically to situations... almost like their lives is similar to that of the serials. These pple for some reason - need sadness and pain in their life, thus subconsciously, they embrace and do things that are more likely to result in their own loneliness.
Often they may tell pple they wanna be happy and are 'searching' for happiness. BUT it's just words and thoughts... nothing really concrete. the reasons they often come up with is External and is often due to OTHER pple, and never themselves. they claim their frens are married, have their own lives blah blah... But if u ask them if they are Proactively keeping in contact or arranging meetups - they are unlikely to give u a positive answer.
If we have been putting our emphasis on frens, bonds and keeping our frenships wisely, this wouldn't even be a problem. Those who ditch frens when they are attached will be ditched when their frens are attached. those sticky icky ladies who revolve their whole lives around their bfrens/husbands/kids - deserve to be lonely... if u live for no-one else, why would anyone be living for u?
Life has many options to offer us, but some of u are living like there's only A, B & C. u're simply too lazy and self-centred to be living for the many facets of life - choosing only to concentrate on yourself all these while.
the loneliless u feel is but a result of how u've been living your life all these years... Good news is that there's hope. Change your outlook, adjust your character... be sincere n proactive and u will see changes.
and pls lor... the idea of being lonely isn't simply abt not having a bfren or partner. it's abt having Purpose in Life.
2009 liao, either u do something or u will be in the same state in 2010.
Loneliness is a FEELING more than anything else. what makes a person lonely?
if i can be less diplomatic and slightly biased... it's often the same pple who put too much drama in their lives and need to react dramatically to situations... almost like their lives is similar to that of the serials. These pple for some reason - need sadness and pain in their life, thus subconsciously, they embrace and do things that are more likely to result in their own loneliness.
Often they may tell pple they wanna be happy and are 'searching' for happiness. BUT it's just words and thoughts... nothing really concrete. the reasons they often come up with is External and is often due to OTHER pple, and never themselves. they claim their frens are married, have their own lives blah blah... But if u ask them if they are Proactively keeping in contact or arranging meetups - they are unlikely to give u a positive answer.
If we have been putting our emphasis on frens, bonds and keeping our frenships wisely, this wouldn't even be a problem. Those who ditch frens when they are attached will be ditched when their frens are attached. those sticky icky ladies who revolve their whole lives around their bfrens/husbands/kids - deserve to be lonely... if u live for no-one else, why would anyone be living for u?
Life has many options to offer us, but some of u are living like there's only A, B & C. u're simply too lazy and self-centred to be living for the many facets of life - choosing only to concentrate on yourself all these while.
the loneliless u feel is but a result of how u've been living your life all these years... Good news is that there's hope. Change your outlook, adjust your character... be sincere n proactive and u will see changes.
and pls lor... the idea of being lonely isn't simply abt not having a bfren or partner. it's abt having Purpose in Life.
2009 liao, either u do something or u will be in the same state in 2010.
I think another reason is that some people are very selective about their friends i.e. must have common interests, must have similar personalities or even the same height. But actually it is possible to make friends with just about anyone. I like to go shopping but I have a friend who hates shopping but I love talking to her.
Also, sometimes we need to take the initiative. If we just sit back and wait for others to call us out, what happens if everyone does the same thing? My bf's mother is close to 50 and recently, she felt the need for friends because she kind of lost touch with them when she got married, had kids etc. So she actually picked up the phone and started calling up her old friends. And now she goes out with them once or twice a fortnight. Sometimes all you need to do is to give it a try.
Also, sometimes we need to take the initiative. If we just sit back and wait for others to call us out, what happens if everyone does the same thing? My bf's mother is close to 50 and recently, she felt the need for friends because she kind of lost touch with them when she got married, had kids etc. So she actually picked up the phone and started calling up her old friends. And now she goes out with them once or twice a fortnight. Sometimes all you need to do is to give it a try.
Loneliness like happiness is a state of the mind. It is entirely possible to be alone and yet not lonely.
It is a choice by us whether we want to feel lonely and miserable or be alone and yet be happy.
When I was younger I did not make many friends and yet as I grew older I made more friends - and I have not impose any expectation on my friends. When we have time for each other, we engage in activities: dinner, hiking, picnics, mahjong, bowling, games, travel etc etc etc .. and even without these activities I am perfectly happy to be alone.
In fact as I grew older, I felt more alive and less lonely. It has nothing to do with the three children I have - at times they are not with me but not once have I feel that I am lonely.
And I am wondering, young people like you guys talking about loneliness?
It is a really a state of the mind.
It is a choice by us whether we want to feel lonely and miserable or be alone and yet be happy.
When I was younger I did not make many friends and yet as I grew older I made more friends - and I have not impose any expectation on my friends. When we have time for each other, we engage in activities: dinner, hiking, picnics, mahjong, bowling, games, travel etc etc etc .. and even without these activities I am perfectly happy to be alone.
In fact as I grew older, I felt more alive and less lonely. It has nothing to do with the three children I have - at times they are not with me but not once have I feel that I am lonely.
And I am wondering, young people like you guys talking about loneliness?
It is a really a state of the mind.
adrian7818
New Member
How about dinner session on 15th Jan??? At Boat Quay?
adrian7818
New Member
What's the budget? $20 ~ $30? Is it okay?
adrian7818
New Member
There's a restaurant named Dallas, very nice dining place, and the food are reasonable as well. Just a few shops beside Penny Black, if you know where's that....
green_tranquility
New Member
Hehe fix a place at boat quay and organiser PMs everyone his/her hp no. When reach, everyone calls organiser.
adrian7818
New Member
Hi Ash,
Won't be able to make it on Friday. Sorry.
Won't be able to make it on Friday. Sorry.
springleaf
New Member
Can share with me of your single status lifestyle?
I'm age 32 and I have been separted for about 2 years.. Eversince I am a loner.
My lifestyle is rather boring. After work, i will return home (unless friends ask me out which is rare). Then i will tabao dinner and eat alone at home.
Weekend or P. holiday, i will visit my nieces and nephew.. Friends normally won't ask me out as they are either busy with their own families or boyfriends.
Really envy the others who can have a partner or group of friends everytime.
I'm age 32 and I have been separted for about 2 years.. Eversince I am a loner.
My lifestyle is rather boring. After work, i will return home (unless friends ask me out which is rare). Then i will tabao dinner and eat alone at home.
Weekend or P. holiday, i will visit my nieces and nephew.. Friends normally won't ask me out as they are either busy with their own families or boyfriends.
Really envy the others who can have a partner or group of friends everytime.
iamchinese
New Member
I think springleaf & sunflower can hang out together and probably develop into a relationship.
Nevertheless, life is short, and please don't make it shorter. If you are feeling lonely, take up something to past time. Set goals, have focus in your life. Else whatever you do, you will also feel "sian & lonely".
Try to join yoga and make more friends if you can, if not join those online matchmakers to know more friends if you are ready for relationship.
You can keep on reading our hundred and ten suggestions, but if u don't bother to pick up, it would be pointless. Just like what powder had said, u don't wanna change your lifestyle in 2009, it will likely stay the same in 2010.
Nevertheless, life is short, and please don't make it shorter. If you are feeling lonely, take up something to past time. Set goals, have focus in your life. Else whatever you do, you will also feel "sian & lonely".
Try to join yoga and make more friends if you can, if not join those online matchmakers to know more friends if you are ready for relationship.
You can keep on reading our hundred and ten suggestions, but if u don't bother to pick up, it would be pointless. Just like what powder had said, u don't wanna change your lifestyle in 2009, it will likely stay the same in 2010.
springleaf
New Member
Thanks "I Am Chinese"
I took up exotic dance, salsa, japanese course, yoga, gym....
In the end, i still end up alone. I do make new friends along the way.. but somehow or rather, everyone is busy with their own life.
I took up exotic dance, salsa, japanese course, yoga, gym....
In the end, i still end up alone. I do make new friends along the way.. but somehow or rather, everyone is busy with their own life.
springleaf
New Member
Kea, you are very right though.
iamchinese
New Member
springleaf, have u tried out any dating websites instead? If that is really what u want to go into, a relationship?
If u are thinking of finding a soul mate in exotic dance, salsa yoga etc, probably it will be difficult as most who joined those classes are people who really intend to work out, I believe.
If u are thinking of finding a soul mate in exotic dance, salsa yoga etc, probably it will be difficult as most who joined those classes are people who really intend to work out, I believe.
sgbabydoll
Active Member
You need to self reflect on how come you can't keep friendships.
springleaf
New Member
doLL, don't mistaken, I do have friends.. I have friends of more than 10 years... However, 99% are either attached or just started a new family.
I used to ask them out.. but most of the time, they will said.. Sorry, unable leh.. cos need to bring my baby out, need to go my in-laws place.. else, sorry.. going short trip with bfs.. meeting bfs for dinner, shopping etc.
I did join those dating website.. but then, either they are super nerdy , else just looking for some flings
I used to ask them out.. but most of the time, they will said.. Sorry, unable leh.. cos need to bring my baby out, need to go my in-laws place.. else, sorry.. going short trip with bfs.. meeting bfs for dinner, shopping etc.
I did join those dating website.. but then, either they are super nerdy , else just looking for some flings
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