Lonely as you grow older

[printing]

Springleaf - Precisely, once u hit 30's, the circle of your gang friends drastically diminished due to settling down.

DoLL, Self reflect-Why? Perhaps, you think we are having some kind of attitude problem. No.

Somehow, the people whom we try to connect during those activities, are simply not keen. I tried to exchange hp, called them but thereafter, they didn't reciprocate.

Count yourself lucky if such encounter did not strike you. But those who had, would feel the same way as Springleaf.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Sorry, Springleaf, your post on 4 Mar at 8.18 pm sounded like you are just waiting for people to ask you out.

Kea, I wasn't thinking that you ladies "are having some kind of attitude problem".

I have many groups of old friends with whom I will meet couple of times a year. On the other hand, I don't stop making new friends. I guess that helps. For those who are not keen to keep in touch, I just move on. There are always new friends to be made.

 

[powder]

start by reflecting on ourselves... only when we're certain that we're totally fine then at least u know it's not u, it's them...

normally when pple tell u they got this and that activity, there's only a few reasons u can narrow down to...

1) they are those who only focus on family and shut out everything else - these pple Better have married a great guy else they will come to regret.

2) they have better things to do, better frens to hang out with and u're not in their priority yet.

3) u dumped them when u had Youre relationship.

4) they dun particularly click with your mindset. perhaps 1st meeting u just talk n talk abt problems and share and share abt depressing things... the more positive pple won't really wanna hang out with u for too long... just like some threads - nomatter wat u say, the TS just keeps throwing negative things at u... sooner or later u find that they have no hope and just walk away...

explore the possibilities abv and other unmentioned possibilities... and if u're certain u've not committed any - then it's them.

 

[springleaf]

I think Kea is able to understand how i feel.
My friends did come to me.. only when (1) Break up with bf (2) Feel neglected by hubby (3) No one can accompany last min when bf/hubby no time for them.

Most of my close friends are females... Ever since I got married, I did not really make any new male friends.. Those males friends I have now are my ex-collegues and my school mates..

My attitude towards friends , i have to say, is sincere.. As most of my friends will come to me for advise when they entercounter problems which they can't figure out themselves.

I just hope to find a partner, i guess.. someone who will appreciate me and doesnt' mind my past.. However, when the other party know that i was married once, their impression on me change.. is like.. "this lady, can only be friends"

 

[sadman2009]

Hi springleaf (springleaf) may be we can get to know each other (^_^)
pm me Heehee

 

[powder]

springleaf, actually your main problem might be that u're already set on how u view these things... how sure are u that u're right?

even if u meet the right guy, u might think that he only sees u as a fren beco it's already embedded in u.

i have no doubts that u're sincere as a fren, but u might have made the wrong frens...

 

[printing]

Smart move. Huh?, you waiting for lady to PM you? Shame on you guy. Comon, take the initiative.

Btw, Springleaf and me are not related friends. I just supported her view cos i had experienced all that she mentioned above.

 

[ichangeforyou]

Hmm springleaf...

I do think you need to make more new friends in order to find another partner again. Well most relationships do develop from first being friends first and getting to know each other better? I m sure you can meet that someone special again. Remember life is what you want it to be... No need to feel so lonely.

 

[sgbabydoll]

It's not like I am so "lucky" that I don't have some of those friends that Springleaf has mentioned. I just don't complain about them.

And not a coincidence at all, I have met men as described by her, who showed a lot of interest before they knew I have divorced. But I don't take it to heart. Everyone has his/her own preference. Those guys prefer never-married-before women and I can't fault them. It's better to know it sooner than later.

 

[printing]

Don't keep thinking about the unhappy situations, it will drain your soul and dull your outlook on people.

Remember, you are not alone experiencing this issue. So cheer up, Springleaf.

Keep moving on until you meet the batch of people who can click with you.

More importantly, don't be afraid of loneliness. Its all in the mind.

 

[sadman2009]

Kea (printing), I think you misunderstand.
I can't pm her. Think she didn't enable it or what.
That's why I ask her to pm me lor...
Sorry. Anyway, just thought of getting to know more ladies as friends. (*_*)

 

[powder]

well at least u have an idea of what u'll be facing...

 

[springleaf]

Life still has to go on regardless you are alone or not.. Well.. maybe by the time i am able to find someone, guess i will be too old to have a family and have a baby.

Anyway, i chose the path myself. If only i did not choose to marry him at the first place, i won't be in such a bad shape. A lot of "ifs" actually.. and i know there is no turning back.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Springleaf

Don't keep going back at where you have fallen. Instead, keep looking at your present and anticipate the future. There will be surprises.

 

[ichangeforyou]

SpringL.

Instead of askings the "what-ifs" why not ask yourself "what can i do?" and "what do I want?" and "where will i go". Age is just a number, dun get too caught up with it.