I'm stress becoz of my matrimonal flat

L

lene0610

New Member
Can someone advice me pls..

In Jul 09 I did my divorce coz I need to remarried as my bf is going to the states to work. But my ex husband didn't want to agree to the divorce becoz our flat is not 5 yrs up yet. So my ex husband say if I want him to agree to the divorce u got to transfer my share of flat to his mum. So I got no choice but to agree to it.

So unluckily, after we divorce then hdb call me up to say that his mum is not entitled for the transfer coz she used up twice of the benefits. So hdb suggested that we sell or surrender the flat. But my ex husband doesn't want to. He ask me to transfer to his gf. Meaning to say he will marry hid gf and wants me to transfer to his new wife. But I don't want to.

My ex husband then say since I wanna transfer, transfer to who also the same. Lol! Is not the same I feel. So I negotiated a term which is my ex husband giving me 15k which is the housing grant shared between me and him. At first he didn't want to but after several days of considerations he agrees to it. After weeks past, I rcv his lawyer letter stating for my reply to confirm I'm transferring the flat but didn't state he will give me 15k. In the end, he say his lawyer feel there no need for him to give me and say if I want then we will contest it in court.

Can someone advice me if they were me what will they do if u were in my shoes?
 


You can bring it up in court if you wish to. Just get back your share and ends it there.

Why are you still holding back the transfering when you have decided to move on? Otherwise just hold on to the estate and sell it upon maturity.

You'll should have a conclusion on the property when going through the divorce.
 
You should 1st and foremost get yourself a lawyer cuz only a lawyer can tell u what your rights are and can give you recommendations as to what you could do.

How long have you been separated? If 4 years and above, can proceed to divorce without his consent, then sell/surrender the flat to HDB.

But if you are anxious to get it over and done with so that you can carry on with life, forget everything else and transfer your share to his gf may be a good idea. You may not like it, but you get your freedom back.
 
Charlene

First, you need to know that a transfer of flat ownership is not a mandatory step. There are other ways to divide the matrimonial asset.

If any one of the co-owners of the HDB flat does not agree to transfer his/her share to a third party, there would be no go.

Have you signed your agreement to the proposed matrimonial asset division plan?

You absolutely need proper legal advice from a lawyer, Charlene.
 
If transfer to the other party, will there be any extra $$ requires to be paid by cash? If so, who will be responsible for the amount? 3rd party or both husband & wife?

If this husband is going to bankrupt soon and wanting the wife to transfer her shares to a 3rd party, will it affect him to re-apply for HDB loan?

If this husband want to apply from bank loan, will it be possible as banks are now chasing him for $$

By transferring to the other party, seems like the new owners (husband & 3rd party) will benefit the most, right?
 
Thanks all for ur advice.

As per the first court order was to transfer to his mum. Since can't a new court order need to be amended. I did consult a lawyer for advice and he says that my chances of winning as in getting the 15k will be high. But I'm worried coz I don't wanna fight a losing case.

My ex husband says that I will lose coz the judge will take it as I wanna transfer to his mum so transfer to who also the same but in the beginning I agree to it coz he say he won't divorce if I don't consent to transfer to his mum. Me and him is already seperated for 3 yrs and my ex husband say even if the 3 yrs is up if he doesn't agrees to the divorce there is nothing I can do. So I'm left with no choice.

I have not sign anything on the matrimonal flat yet. My advice from friends is to sell the flat but my ex husband say he don't want. Coz he will have to slp on the streets with his parents and he say that in the beginning it was his parents flat but after me and him got married we took over it. So I got no right to sell the flat.
 
Best is to negotiate with your HB.. Maybe revise the amount.. both happy?

And at the end of the day, it really depends on who is more desperate to get the divorce... the one wanting the divorce more urgently will have to give up something.. You can't have it both ways.

The HB probably knows you are desperate for divorce and that is why he is making it a little difficult for you.

My friendly advise, negotiate and give in a little. Both happy. You can of course go to court at the end of the day. And I don't really understand woman - you wanted a divorce and naturally you want to move on. What is the difference of transferring to his gf instead of his mum? You "buay song" because it is the gf that he is marrying?

And since it is his parents flat. It is quite natural to transfer back to him - either his mother or gf - it should not matter. Look more open and be happy. Look forward to you new relationship and not backwards..
 
U probably didn't understand the reason why I married him. U might probably think I'm stupid. His mum beg me to married so that I and my ex husband can buy over the flat from his parents and get back a sum of money to clear his credit card debts of 30k. That time I was young and didn't want to settle down yet but coz of his mum I married him. Foolish right?

Now he married his gf so that I can transfer to her. Don't u see that history is repeating? I ever ask my ex husband before our divorce if he is going to settle down with his gf but he say not so soon coz he dunno if she is the one for him and now... Can say I buay song but I feel I should at least get something back.

Before me and him can actually annul but he say if annul then he got to surrender the flat back to hdb or pay hdb 80k of levy to retain back the flat. Then he say if I annul then he and his parents got no where to stay. U see... Long ago me and him can already move on with our lives and have nothing to do with one another. But he is the one that keeps dragging and playing on my soft spot. That now all these have to happen. Seriously, when we first took over their parents I know nuts about the purchase of flat etc. I just sign on any doc which requires my signature.

Haiz... If really difficult coz ur not in my shoes to feel the way I'm feeling now. But still wanna thank u for ur advice
happy.gif
 
Another thing is when I negotiate with him is always a no. The divorce fees I also have to pay it all myself. I just feel it's unfair. I've been giving and giving but there is nothing for me in return but just giving in to him again. U may feel I'm petty but coz of him dragging my life is in such mess.
 
1st thing first. Focus on what you want now.. not on the baggage.

The past is dead. You made a mistake. 1st marrying him for a stupid reason to help clear his debts. But it is OVER.

Now what you want. You want a new life. You want to get married right? So you need to work for that. Nevermind the past.

Obviously he is in no hurry to divorce. You are. You want to divorce, therefore you pay for it. Don't have to feel that he need to pay you half. If you "buay song" then don't divorce yet. Drag lah. But you a new future before you. Why make yourself miserable just because of a "buay song".

If you want really to negotiate.. then threaten to sell.. don't let him know you are desperate to remarry.. Tell him you will fight him in court.. to have the flat sold..

But if you really want to get married and move on.. then you have to give in a little.. After all it is your future happiness versus a "buay song" now.
 
Oops... I think u misunderstood me le. I'm already divorce and remarried. The only issue now is the matrimonal flat.

Sorry if I got u all confuse. Just trying to explain but didn't expect I make it complicated.

To summarize again... I'm already divorce and remarried. But still haven't settle the flat issue. Anyway, I'm not in a hurry to buy a flat coz I'll be in states for 3 yrs.
 
If there is a court order to transfer the flat, you can't sell it now, unless you want to contest to the court order.

Maybe you should do nothing. When he becomes desperate to take the share of the flat from you, he may budge.
 
Yes, if you already divorce.. then don't care too much.. He will be more desperate than you and then you can negotiate..
 
As per the first court order is to transfer to the mum but now can't coz his mum used up twice of the hdb entitlement. So now he want me to transfer to his wife. So I told him if u want me to transfer to ur wife to give me 15k which is the housing grant shared between me and him plus my cpf with interest. At first he say okay but after consulting his lawyer he change his mind and say if want to contest in court.

What i'm afraid is that I will lose the case if I contest,
 
Both of you have deviated from the original court order.

1. He now wants his gf to take over your share; and
2. You, in turn, want $15K from him.

No one is above the other (there is no victim here).

If you don't want to see him in court, you should look at settling this privately first. From there, I believe you need to go through some legal process to "amend" the court order.

Otherwise, do nothing. The person who can't wait would cave in.
 
I want to settle it privately but he don't want. So couldn't be I give in again right?

Yes... We will need to get the court order amended. U know before I come to states I did a poa that cost me $500 to assign someone to represent me to do the transfer of flat when I'm not around. Then now he go back his words again. Haiz... If now say sell the flat, I need to do another poa for selling of flat. Zzz...

For me I can wait but he can't... Coz I'm not staying at that house. Still he doesn't wanna agree to my terms. He just want everything his way.
 
Then do nothing. Wait for him to cave in.

Meanwhile, check how you can initiate an amendment to the court order for the flat to be sold and find out if he can contest since the first court order cannot be enforced at all.
 
My wife has already divorce and remarried. The issue now is the matrimonal flat she co-owns with her ex-husband.

They still have not settled their HDB flat issue. It has taken them 4 years and nothing has been settled and it has been
preventing me from getting our own HDB flat hurry to buy.

Can someone shed some light what should happen?
 
Keith UK said:
My wife has already divorce and remarried. The issue now is the matrimonal flat she co-owns with her ex-husband.

They still have not settled their HDB flat issue. It has taken them 4 years and nothing has been settled and it has been
preventing me from getting our own HDB flat hurry to buy.

Can someone shed some light what should happen?
Click to expand...

you can always whistle blow..HDB dont check on all these stuff themselves proactively. Let HDB settle this issue for you legally.
 
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