Hainanese Brides, anyone???

[janf]

hub on reservist now till 3apr and we will be setting off for jepun on 4th nite till 11th.. looking fwd to it! and hope i can get to see sakura..

pris - central jepun covers tokyo, kyoto, osaka, mt fuji, disney etc..

keke huiz, when are u setting off for ur HM? u oso steady! aft all the sabo session still can log on and post forum!

 

[sherrie]

huiz

u are amazing! can still log on to post on the forum after such a long day. how did everything go? must update us okie!

janf: i have guidebook for tokyo. i can lend it to u if u want

 

[huiz]

Hullo ah mais,

Hehe, yah, I logged on with my mobile phone in the hotel at 2am last night. I had a wonderful day yesterday!! Enjoyed myself thoroughly. My JC classmates (one of them used to go after me last time ) made my hubby almost drunk yesterday. He had to go to the room to rest and could not send off the guests. I will load some pics into my Multiply at my parent's place tomorrow night. Stay tuned for more!

 

[janf]

sherrie - my coll oso got the guidebook so she will lend me! really looking forward to it.. we were tinking either go taiwan or jepun but reckon tat for taiwan, can go anytime of the yr so decided to go jepun.. and jepun juz had their 1st snow last fri!, hope i will get to see blossoms..

 

[ivied]

aiyo Huiz!!! You are still wide awake at 2am after a long day! It must be quite an exciting day for you.

Your poor hubby is so suai. This guy who went after u previously must be nursing his wounds and hitting onto your hubby on your AD. Look forward to your pix!

janf, there are blossoms in Japan! Weather is crazy everywhere. It is said to be the hottest winter in most countries and Japan had a short winter and the blooms came earlier than expected. Some are even full bloom already. The pix will turn out very nice with the beautiful sakura everywhere.

Stacy's wedding is coming up next, follow by Nellie's. They must be busy now...

 

[stacy]

huiz - wow, can see u reali enjoyed urself very much on ur AD. Can't wait to see ur mei mei pixs!

Janf - initially I m thinking of going Japan or Italy for HM. But since HB will be at europe for biz trip in May, we decided to go Italy for HM. Will be leaving Singapore on 23 Apr

Enjoy ur Japan trip!

Ivied - Nice and informative website u've got! I'm not so busy with wedding preparation, rather bz with some work..haiz, gotta handover my stuff to my colleague. Had my an chuang n nah cai yesterday..hehee, both me n bo lau so blur, just listen to wat the folks wanna us to do.

Nellie - ur AD coming too...hw's things at ur end?

Pris - ur PS muz be exciting. I was also having hide n seek with the rain during my PS. Will be collecting my album tomorrow. Next gathering can share with u gals my pics liao!!

 

[sherrie]

janf: i am sure u will enjoy japan. taiwan is nice too but i will choose tokyo anytime. u use fancl products or not? its much cheaper in japan. i bought 3 boxes of tense up (collagen drink) and it cost $200 at isetan here. but it only cost me $80 something when i bought them in japan. very heavy though

also bought a burberrys blue label tote bag there. only japan carries the blue label.

 

[janf]

yes yes sherrie!, i oso saw the burberrys blue tote bag online and only jpn has it! how much izit there?

so fancl is cheap there? then i can go see see look look.. any ah-mais here need it let me know ya..

wah, stacy's wedding this sat then next wed is nellie's turn.. really fast..

 

[sherrie]

i bought a reversible tote bag (black on one side and blue checks on the other side). it comes with a small pouch which is detachable. just received my credit card bill. it costs $400. i bought another one on behalf of my gf (same design but beidge and pink checks). u can buy from the departmental store and claim their tax refund. yupz. fancl is cheaper over there. so is shiseido.

 

[hazuki]

hello all ah mais... i very very long no log in le...

so buzy until no time to on lappy... belated congrats to huiz & ivied on your wedding.

early congrats to Nellie... (in case i go MIA again.)

every one seems to be having a great time except me!! sob sob CSI: i still cant find a church... I very desperate liao.

Juz met up wif my coordinators yesterday and had a unfruitful discussion... sidetracked alot... hmm, how to control your helpers?? anyone have any idea??

anyway, juz blabling my woes away...

 

[rilo82]

wow, this thread is interesting. can i get some advice from you girls? i am looking to get ROM this July. is there any rules/customs i am suppose to follow if i am hainanese? i am doing all the planning for my big day and i really need advice. thanks!

 

[huiz]

Phew, ah mais, I had such a busy day setting up home , preparing and packing up for my other dinner in Malacca this Sat that I only have time to come online now!

I have finally resized some of my AD pics that my brother helped me take on the digi cam and put them up in my Multiply. U can see them at http://madamestitch.multiply.com
The PG said his photos can be ready before Good Friday.

Stacy & Nellie, how's preps getting on? Hope everything is going smoothly. I had one glitch during my AD. There was a funeral going on at the void deck of my new place for a week before my AD. We were so worried that they "chu bin" on Sat morning. Indeed they did, but being a Christian funeral, it was low key and they cleared very early, even before I went over to my new place for tea ceremony. But to be safe, we did not use the lift (nearer to the wake) but used the stairs. Took the stairs to the 2nd floor and then took the lift up.b Heng we didn't bump into anything there.

And yes, one suggestion to the other BTBs, if u can spare the time, go down and mingle with the guests during the cocktail. It's one of the only times u can really interact with your guests. I enjoyed myself very very much during that time

Li Ann, how are u doing? Hope u are not drowning in your work... hehe. I only have good comments of Plaza Park Royal for that night. Everyone said that the food was very special, delicious and the portion was big. Service was also good and they did not anyone open my wines when I actually forgot to assign one person to jaga the wines ;-P

Petrina, in my case, I did not meet up with my helpers so early. I did all the planning myself (excluding the gate crashing stuff) and only informed them of their tasks. Could be easier this way coz u can do things the way u prefer

Hi Lance, welcome to the clan! Honestly speaking, the Hainanese does not have too many traditions to follow. My wedding was really simple and we did not have too many traditional rituals.

Okie, time for me to zzz. Good night to all and hope u enjoy viewing my pics

 

[ivied]

wowo.. everyone is going away. janf to Japan, Stacy to Italy, Huiz to Australia/New Zealand. hmm.. it will be quiet in here next mth.
Nevertheless, enjoy your trip ah mais. Share more pix with us.

Huiz, saw you pix. Pretty pretty, both day and night. Glad you had a wonderful time, it will be a great memory to reminisce on in future.

Gear up for your 2nd dinner in Malacca!

I seconded your thoughts. Mingling with the guests during reception was really the most memorable time of the banquet. My friends were laughing at me, for it is so funny to see the bride dragging the long train walking around shaking hands and playing with the guests. hee...

Petrina, do not worry. As Huiz mentioned, work it out on your own first. Not only will u enjoy the planning process, you will feel a sense of satisfaction after the 'mission is accomplished'. You can seek any of our Mrs here for advises. We are all 'experts' liao. hahaha...

Hi Lance, welcome welcome. Sure, you can just post your doubts. We have plenty of experienced ah mais here to help you. Hainanese do not really have many traditions. Why not u do the asking and we response with answers?

 

[rilo82]

Thanks Huiz and iViED for the welcome. I saw your photos Huiz, they are very well shot.

Actually i was wondering, does 'mai' mean sister? I am hainanese but I do not quite understand. My father always call his sisters 'mai jin' and 'mai lan'. And they call my father 'bu chek'. So does the bu = brother?

Sorry for sidetracking, back to my wedding. I am doing all the planning myself as my FW is a vietnamese (she's studying a degree here). We intend to do the wedding thingies twice. Once in Singapore and once in Hanoi.

For the Singapore wedding, my FW is clueless, so that leaves me to plan and do everything, and i mean literally everything (so stress). We are going to ROM in July this year before doing the customaries next year.

I was just wondering for ROM, do I need to get a PG, VG and bridal gowns? Is it a norm? Or can I get my friends to take photos/videos and my FW can just get a dress (like those from Daniel Yam) instead? Could i just wear shirt w/tie and pants, or do I need a suit?

About reception for the ROM, my mum told me to not invite anybody, as she feels that it is not very nice treating ppl twice (i am not too sure why). Haiz, so my plan was to ask a few close friends to go to my ROM, and afterwards go grab some buffet or something at a hotel. I need some advice please. My head is in a whirl when I think I have to do everything twice.

 

[ivied]

Hi Lance, I shall leave the explanations of Hainanese terms of calling to other ah mais. I'm a total loss in such naming conventions myself.

To your wedding, there is no rules about wearing suit and gown during ROM. It is your own preference. And if your mum prefers to keep it small and simple, you can do as what you suggested; have a small buffet at some resturant or hotel with your close friends after the ROM. (Generally older folks have the mentality that it is best not to invite twice, pai seh to get people to 'pay' twice)

For your suit and gown, there are 2 ways:
1. Sign up with a BS where they can provide you the full package from ROM till your AD. ROM necessities like gown, hand bouquet and hair/make-up for bride are inclusive. PG and VG are generally offered for PS and AD only. You can get your friends to help you in this area during your ROM.

2. Pick a nice dress for the bride while yourself can get a shirt/pants and tie to go along for the occasion. However, should your bride requires make up and flowers, you have to find your own sources separately.

We have ah mais like mosburger and Pris who did their ROM separately recently. You can check with them too.

 

[rilo82]

So, normally I should pick a BS first? I am actually not very good at this. My FW is also not very vocal, everything also is acceptable to her. I scared we get chop by the BS.

 

[kitty_li]

Hey Petrina, I thot u had St Joseph's (Bt Timah) in mind? what happened? what else have u done (church-wise)?

 

[zapzap]

Hello Ah Mais!!!!

I'm so pissed off with my FH. I regretted not having gatecrash!!!!

anyone of you have extra mattreses at home which I can borrow? Got 9 guests staying my house during my wedding.


Huiz - glad that you enjoyed your AD. I hope mine will be enjoyable too.

Hi Lance,

welcome to our thread!

 

[ivied]

Lance, for your case, yes. But should u not wish to sign up for any package currently, you can just buy your attires off-the-rack, get a MUA, and buy a bouquet for your ROM will do.

Our ah mais here are using the following BS, you can take a look before deciding.
1) Z-wedding
2) Bridal Concept
3) Silverlining
4) Flamingo
5) Amanda Lee
6) J&C Bridal
7) Precious Moments
8) La Bell3

Here's one file to help in your selection.
I do not sign package with BS, so perhaps other ah mais here can advise u on what to look out for in the packages.
<center><table border=1><tr><td>

BS Selection
Bridal_shop_checklist.xls (25.6 k)</td></tr></table></center>

 

[huiz]

Hi Nellie,

What happened to your FH? Are there gonna be guests coming from overseas to your place?

Hmm, Lance, I think 'mai' means "yi2" in Hainanese. Like what Ivied has explained, u can either get simple dresses from any boutique or u can sign up a complete package from a BS.

 

[rilo82]

iViED: Thanks for the file and list of BS, i am sure it will come in useful for my planning. Btw, could you explain what is MUA? I am not too sure what that is.

Huiz: Thanks for your explanation on 'mai'. So it means auntie in hainanese.

Nellie: What happened to your FH? Care to share with us what happened?

 

[zapzap]

Huiz - I wanted to buy some mattresses and he showed his 'black face'. Said it's better to ask them to stay in hotels. "Hello... we stayed at their place when we were there. Do you think staying in hotels are cheaper? And I still have to arrange another vehicle to send them to Arts House." Told him off...

Same thing also happened when I wanted to buy a jacket and 2 sets of long john for myself during the China trip. Also showed me black face. Said can go China and buy. Luckily I bought the jacket here but 1 set of long john. In the end, No chance to go shopping for the 1st few days there. And also paid much for the additional set of long john at Huang Shan cos I sweat. Thanks to him. I'll be freezing to death without a jacket for the 1st few days if I listen to him.

 

[zapzap]

In additional, he now didn't take the initiative to help to finalize the wedding stuff. I must nag at him. Then quarrel again. If I take everything in hand, he'll complain that I never discuss with him. Like that, how?

 

[huiz]

Hi Lance,

MUA = makeup artist

Haiya, guys har, sometimes also dun think wan. Go China need to have at least one set of cold wear when u reach there mah

 

[zapzap]

I'm really fed up!!!! Told him to get his parents' guest list and he only give me headcount. Delay my time again. when got the name list finally also never do the seating arrangement. I must nag at him again.

 

[rilo82]

Thanks Huiz for the clarification!

Nellie, must cool down, cannot frown. Getting married soon, must stay pretty. I think your FH is like most guys, want to control but don't want to do. However, think of it this way. You quarrel a bit now, but once you get married, you can control him (its the other way round). Thats what i tell my FW (next time i listen to her), as i am the one doing most of the nagging now.

As a guy, I think most of us are quite practical and do not look into things in detail, unless something bad/urgent really crops up. This is part of our genetic makeup i think, and we need our FW's understanding in that respect. You are right to be fed up, but instead of feeling that way, why don't you take the opportunity to show him what you are capable of doing on your own, and feeling well satisfied when the job is done. Cheer up.

 

[ivied]

oh no.. nellie, cool down. This is typical of men. He must be thinking that China is cheaper but never know about the timing when it comes to tour, there is hardly chance to shop till the last few days.
About your wedding, perhaps have an agreement with him, let him know certain decisions have to be made so u can take charge. Just keep him in the loop will do. Your AD is coming up, keep cool.......

I do have a seahorse foldable mattress at home, can pass it to u if u want.

Lance, maybe u can leave your email addy here and I can pass you some files to aid in your planning.

 

[loveangel]

Nellie: You're right to buy your coldwear before you go. It's very hard to have free time go buy your stuff once you arrive in China.
Have a good talk with your hubby. Let him know he needs to pull his weight too &amp; not just expect everything to work out. *hugs* Don't be angry...must smile...AD coming soon!

Lance: Welcome!

When is your ROM?

Petrina: How come your church is not confirmed yet? Hmm, i have not met up with all my jie-meis yet. Will be having our 1st meet-up next month.

Huiz: I saw your AD pics...i like your evening hairdo. All the cascading curls made you look very feminine &amp; sweet.

Stacy: You'll be on leave tomorrow already right? If you need any help, just send me a SMS ok? Sleep earlier for the next few days so you'll look radiant &amp; gorgeous on Saturday.

Janf: You'll love Kyoto cos it's so quaint. You can also buy Kose in Japan at a lower price. Can even buy Shishedo Marjorca Marjolica mascara there. I think it's cheaper there too! When i went Japan in 2005, i spent a lot in Disneyland, buying souvenirs. Also bought lotsa beautiful Burberry &amp; Celine scarves back...they were cheaper!

 

[rilo82]

I agree with what iViED has said. Stay cool Nellie!

I think I have a seahorse foldable at home too. I could pass it to you too.

I think i am going to setup a blog on me and my FW too, so i can post our pics and experiences. I have seen what most of you have done, and it seems interesting.

 

[zapzap]

now I rather get the things done myself without discussing with him, don't feel like quarrelling with him again. Spoils my mood.

Lance, your FW is lucky to have you planning everything. I don't expect my FH to see to everything but at least take initiative to lessen my load. I'll be appreciated. My FH is different. He must 'hurt his head and bleed first' then he'll learn. He simply won't listen if warn him in advance. I wouldn't want things to screw up on my wedding day and do the 'clean up'. I want to be 'just stay pretty' bride on that day.

Ivied - please lend it to me. I'll get from you over the weekend.

 

[zapzap]

Lance - lend me too.

Now I still need to hunt for another 3 more.

 

[rilo82]

Hi Pris, I am going to have it at ROM office this 28 July. Its the day my FW and I met (we sort of argued whether it was 26 or 28, but finally settled on the 28).

I am quite excited as a lot of my friends say i am a bit young to be getting married.

Nellie: Thats the spirit. I have sms you my number. Give me advance warning when u are coming hor.

 

[sherrie]

Hi Lance: Welcome! It's nice to have a male voice amongst the ladies.

Nellie: No point getting worked up. The guest list is really problematic but the list will keep changing till the actual day. Perhaps you can get him and his parents to sit down and talk about it? My parents' table arrangements were tough cos I literally didn't know half of the group (so i just randomly put some of them together). In the end, my mum made so many last minute changes to the original table plan too.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to help you with the mattresses. If 9 of them are staying at your place, maybe u may want some of them to wake up at staggered timing if your solemnisation is early. I can't imagine all of them waking up at the same time and needing to use the bathroom?

My customer who bought a car from me just invited me to his wedding dinner!!! Best part: I have only seen him once last Dec just before my AD. When he collected the car, his dad came alone cos that customer of mine doesnt have a driving license.

 

[zapzap]

Lance - got your sms. Thanks

Sherrie - I cna't be bothered with him liao. He has only 3 tables and I have 5 tables for buffet. Did the seating arrangement for both already. I don't care if his screwed up in the 11th hour. In addition, we also have to arrange seating arrangement for our solemnization. I did mine already. I won't be doing his and I won't remind him either.

Let his xiong dis handle the mess for him.

 

[huiz]

Hi Nellie,

So I sms u my addy when I return from Malacca this Sun evening and u come over my place to see see my mattress and bring it home if u don't mind it okie?

I will be setting off for Malacca tomorrow noon. So many things to carry man! Heng we have chartered private transport, so it wouldn't be such a hassle to cart all the barang all the way there

 

[zapzap]

No prob, Huiz. Enjoy your other dinner

 

[hamsterden]

wow...ah mais...so much has happened during my absence...

huiz...belated congrats! really have been drowning at work... also feel like tendering but i can't since i'm gonna buy house soon so cannot afford to be rash about it... sigh... oh, and nice pics! pretty pretty!

Stacy...also wish you advance congrats!

Pris...i like your WG and EG. Very sweet looking!

Nellie...advance congrats too...and take it easy with your FH. Since he has three tables, the seating arrangement should be relatively easier as well...no worries... jus conc on being pretty that day. i'm sorry that i can't help with the mattress...what else do you need?

Lance...welcome!

Janf, Sherrie, Petrina, Mos, CSI....hi ah mais

sigh...nellie...i actually also just had a silent quarrel (cos we din want my in laws to hear) with my hubby over buying house. Feeling quite down now actually...thats why i am inside here...to look for my support group... sigh...our first major disagreement since wedding and it didn't feel good at all...sigh... feeling quite upset actually...and raining so heavily outside now..makes me feel like crying

 

[hamsterden]

oh ya, huiz, glad you enjoyed the AD..hotel and everything. We had a good experience with the hotel as well, from food to service...

so upset with my hubby...here i am feeling so sad...and he is sleeping soundly. How can he still sleep?? And eating into my space somemore...

sigh
sigh
sigh....

 

[zapzap]

Li Ann - I understand your situation. same here... we quarrelled over buying of mattresses. and yes, he's sleeping soundly and best of all, on my side.

Staying with in-laws have its restrictions. One example is your case now. Can't let them know that the both of you are quarrelling. You can't go back to your parents' place too. Me too. So I stayed in the guest room.

We're having a wedding rehearsal later. really no mood to go. It's a bad start for me today. Saw a pissed off email the moment I logged in to my office email. Am thinking of taking half day leave to avoid conflicts with anybody.

 

[janf]

morning mais.. bzy bzy for the past two days.. got big big meeting coming up so gotta rush out rpts..

nellie - i asked my bor-lao later (to ask his ma!)see can lend u the mattresses anot coz spare room got some. dun angry at ur bor-lao liao.. its lidat one.. guys sometimes are bochap, lucky my fatso was very involved in the whole planning process if not i wld hv gone kuku liao..

haha li ann, fights are common when u are newly wed.. like wat ppl often say, 1st yr sure bound to hv differences and conflicts.. till now 1yr+ into my marriage im still picking on my fatso! and he doesnt chg so wat the heck..

which area u buying ur new nest? resale or brand new?

sherrie - ur customer oso farnie rite?! see one time then invite u?! lidat he muz hv invited many ppl whom he met once! haha. btw, u know the hotels in jepun got the paper slippers anot? if not then i gotta pack my home pair..

hi lance!, another rare guy in this thread! keke. me am the oldest bird here..

 

[rilo82]

Hi janf, can see you are one of the more experienced ones. You registered your nick in 2004. I was still uni back then. Hehe, i think i can learn a lot from you.

Nellie: Glad to see you finish sorting your stuff (i agree that you are under no obligations to help your FH). Don't get piss, its just the morning. Think of the happy thoughts, like eating ice cream or cheese cakes at lunch time.

Li Ann: What happened during buying house? Care to share?

About the part where guys falling sound asleep after a quarrel, i think this is a common phenomena. Personally, i think we guys fall asleep as long as we are tired. We seldom lose sleep over quarrels or stress. However, this wouldn't mean that we are sleeping well (we may get nightmares, which our partners do not know). And the part where guys eating into the space of the partners, i think that one varies. I can't seem to find an explanation for that.

Actually yesterday i had small tiff with my FW too, i was so tired so i fell asleep after reaching home (we didn't actually resolve our tiff). But this morning, after a few sms we are back to normal again. I think we must be understanding, thats most important. If we have any opinions/suggestions/comments must always throw on the table and say, don't drag. Thats what i do with my FW.

Have a nice day everyone!

 

[ivied]

oh oh... sad morning to begin with.

li ann, poor thing. *hug hug* don't cry, we are here to give you moral support. I can understand your point, 1st disagreement after marriage is hard to digest. I'm also looking for a flat now, where are your ideal areas? Maybe we can be neighbours.

nellie, power to you! Don't worry too much abt the wedding okie, you will be able to handle it well. I had disputes over wedding with my hubby right up to AD eve, but all's well end's well. Be inspired! It will turn out fine for you too.

I'm quite free actually, just handing over work to my colleagues. So you can just sms me if you need any assistance.
btw, I won't be available on this Sat. Is Sun alright with you? You have my number, just give me a ring.

Lance is right. Communications play a strong part in sustaining the relationship. In my <3 mths of marriage, I have heard of 3 friends getting a divorce. This is not very motivational for a newly wed. hee.. But I do learn something from there. Talk it over. Be it turning a black face or quarreling, trash it out. Sometimes, quarreling does improve the understandings of each other's needs. But always remember, never let the quarrels or unhappiness drag over to bedtime. Resolve it and sleep over it.

 

[ivied]

oh Huiz, enjoy your other dinner! Take more pic to show us.

Stacy should be starting her leave today. It will be her turn this Sat. Let us know if you need any help.

 

[zapzap]

My FH doesn't thrash things out. He just like to show a black face whenever he's not happy. Wow Lau! like '大少爷'. Seldom help to solve the problems. And here I am... finding another alternative to solve the lodging problem... that is... looking high and low to borrow mattresses.

Whenever problems arise, he just shrug aside, thinking they will be solved themselves or only face them when no choice. I always got to do the 'clean up'.

btw, anyone of you is interested to attend my wedding?

 

[ivied]

hey nellie, same same. Think it happens to most guys. My bo lao keeps things to himself, does not voice out when he is upset, just give me an absolute dark bao qing tian face. When prob surfaces, he simply ignore and pull it off till the last min then find a way out.

But I'm not stupid too. hee.. I 'copied' his style, and showed to him how pek chek I am each time he does that. He got my point leh. And I keep emphasing on communications, so not too bad, he is improving.

There is something called: leopards will never change its spots. We can improve their certain behaviours but the 'foundations' are still there. So nellie, that's why we women have to learn how to move around from there. We are their right/left hand. We help to 'clean up the mess'.

 

[janf]

nellie - asked my MIL liao.. this wkend got indon guests coming so cant lend u the mattresses.. really sorrie..

 

[sherrie]

janf: the hotels i stayed in tokyo all had slippers. they have those stickers (like in soles) where u can stick and peel off after use. very considerate.

yeah. he said i am his good friend. wanted to invite me to both his church lunch and wedding dinner. hehe. but i dunno anyone other than his dad.

li ann: welcome back. what happened? i told my hubby before we got married about not wanting to stay with his folks. i can't stand my father in law. haha. i got my flat way before we had the customary.

i am going to bali with hubby next month. anyone has recommendations to share?

nellie: i don't mind if the other ah mais are also attending. hehe.

 

[ivied]

oh nellie, think I can attend your wedding. I still have leave to clear before I go. Yours is in the morning or afternoon?

 

[janf]

nellie - wat time is ur wedding?

wah sherrie - u really good life leh.. every few mths travel one time.. keke. but good to travel now when no committments..

 

[huiz]

Good morning ah mais,

Ivied &amp; Li Ann, hee, hopefully u gals are considering flats in the same area. So next time we can go visit 2 of u at one go. Li Ann, are u still interested in the Yishun area?

Hey Nellie, thanks for extending your invitation. I would really2 love to attend, but my stupid boss wants me to return to work for another 4.5 days starting 27 Mar before I can clear my leave. U take many2 nice pics and video show us okie?

Let me tidy my place up after I am more settled down and invite all of u over