Hainanese Brides, anyone???

Hi all,
Sorry that i have not been joining in the discussion... too busy liao =P
Hows everyone?

about ivied's article, to a certian extend i thought its true... but we have to bare in mind that these traditional dinners thrown are mainly for parents and i believed that true friends going to your wedding dinner will be truely happy to be there to see you happily married.
2cents worth of comments =)
 


I feel the author has somehow forgotten that something different comes with a cost (most of the time). Not everyone can afford it. Furthermore, the older folks might not like it too and it's risky to attend the wedding seeing their black faces. All in all, I think the author also sounds a tad despising and disrespectful towards others' choices. My 2 cents worth la...
 
morning all.. back at work but face greengreen.. even my colls can tell i look sick..

hv been purging for 2days liao until left water.. tink this time round the colic really hit me hard.. somemore yday my FIL bot peking duck for dinner and i can only admire the crispy skin.. grr.. hope i quickly get well by tonite coz tom me going KL till sun and mon on leave for fren's wedding.. haiz.. really feel lousy now..
 
Hi DoryMiki, nice to see you.
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I think this is the 1st time that we 'meet'.
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Perhaps wedding dinners to me now is like a 'routine'. Like what the author is saying, you will know "What goes on at a Chinese wedding dinner".

True, the banquet is meant mainly for the parents but not to follow the "rules and regulations" strictly. Like what CSI has done for hers, it is a memory which will last forever and that u can recall and still smile over it.

My cousin's friends had done something overboard on his wedding and I do find that it is not appropriate with the elders around. But with a little bit of creativity, the wedding can be more fun than 'just another wedding'.

This is what I feel.
 
oh no janf, u should have rest more at home. why not take the day off..
Else your body condition will not be suitable to travel tomorrow.
 
Huiz,
I browsed thru the past achives and saw your gowns... i must say that it is really very pretty with all those details at the back for your WG... =)

Janf,
Hope you get well soon... =)

Ivied,
I thought we 'met' before liao hehehe...
My FH and i wanted to think of something different to do for our wedding dinner so that it will not be boring but we are so scared that people will think that we are holding a D&D instead hahahaha.... so we hope to tone down a bit =P
 
im going easy on my tummy, ivied.. will cont to eat porridge for today and see how.. today my boss last day and i din wana miss saying bye to him.. yday i even walked out to heartland mall side to search for a thank-u card for him.. panting like mad but i walked slowly lah.. ha.
 
Hee ya, agree with janf. Ivied, your hub does look like a familiar actor but can't recall the name. Had anyone made the same comment?

Hi DoryMiki, I hope that my designer can make some changes to the ribbon. looks funny to me. haha. but I am very pleased with the EG and CS.

janf, your boss must be a very nice person
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take it easy today lor. if not cant enjoy the trip tomorrow.

Looks like a lot of people are heading to Msia this weekend. 2 of my friends will be going to Cameron and I will be setting off to the same plc next Sat too. Looking forward to it... heehee
 
DoryMiki, oh is it? Opps! I must have been totally exhausted working with those ind*** that I have lost some part of the memory temporary. hee... Anyway, nice to see you again.
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I had lost the enthusiastic about the wedding banquet, just want to get it over and done with. Tired....

oh janf, this boss of yours must be a good one. you take care then. go back early to rest tonight.

janf/Huiz, is it? hmm... my mum did mention that the top part of his face looks like Bosco Wong. I dunno, I never notice it.
 
ivied - Bosco is the one whos acting in the SCV Ch55 8pm show rite? hmm.. i dun tink look like him but juz cant recall look like who..
 
janf: Are you better already??

Mos: I saw your montage as well as your buffet pics! Your cake is really cute...i was very surprised when i saw it's a mahjong cake.

Ivy: Thanks for sharing that article. I agree with the writer...cos i'm busy cracking my head over how to make my banquet a more unique & memorable one. Not just for my guests but also for my FH & myself. Found many good tips & ideas in bridal mags & websites, but luckily, i still have time to "brainstorm".
 
Huiz,
I thought its looks ok leh...
I wanted something like yours with the ribbon but dont know whether my bridal shop has or not cos i only have one MTM and i decided to MTM my EG instead.

Ivied,
No problem, i have not been here for a long time so i wont be surprise if anyone dont remember hahaha... but i must say that this thread is really really active... KEEP UP THE SPRITE!
 
yap, I also agree with all your views on the article. While most wedding dinners are like...the same. That's what hubby and I didn't want. We didn't want it to be the same kind of standard dinner where everyone comes, "buy their ticket (ang pow) that entitles them to the goody bag" (hahaha...) <font color="0000ff">[goddy bag = wedding favour + car park coupons]</font>

But it can't be too different too, coz there are elder folks ard. Plus some "standard" things at a wedding is actually quite nice too (e.g. photo montage. It's nice to see your childhood pictures again. esp, for the relatives...when you see their expressions...wah...)

So in the end, hubby and I decided to turn it into a BIG gathering of friends and family. We didn't call it a "wedding dinner". We started by telling everyone of the "celebration". A celebration of friendship and love (printed on the cards). Then we changed the hotel signage. We insisted on no table shots (except for family and selected frens' tables). If parents want to take with their frens, they use their own digi cam etc.

Fake cake cutting - we wanted a real cake...but that would set us back about $1k (ouch! Yeah, not everyone can afford it manz...). So, lucky thing the hotel's dessert was cakes...so that kinda substituted the "fake cake" bit, to some extent.

Champagne pouring - we poured champagne, but we didn't have the yam seng on stage. Instead, we gave a short speech and ended with "Cheers!". Then we went to the various family tables and yam seng-ed from there.

the "fashion parade" - 1st, I made sure I went down during cocktails to mingle (got MUA to come early). That's cocktail dress. But the thing was, most of my frens were happy that I mingled with them during cocktails.

One way to make the dinner a bit different is to include personal speeches. We had speeches by our emcee (close friend), bridesmaids, groomsmen, brothers. Only thing is, depending on how u manage the flow of food, dinner could be very slow (if u want pple to stop eating and listen to the speeches). And things like a dance floor will be different too.

But I think (my opinion lah), the most memorable bit would be when your friends / family members participate in your celebration.
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CSI, *applause*

I had the exact sentiments! And do u know that I was thinking along the same line as you too, in terms of champagne pouring, table shots and fashion parade.

I'm not trying to deviate from the traditional chinese wedding dinner but to have more fun into it so the guests do not feel that they are there to "pay for their expensive food" and receive a "door gift". There are no personal interactions with my guests as there's simply no time!

And I fully agree with your last statement. Your friends and family members are spontaneous in your celebration. Mine simply tells me to keep it "normal", "do not try too hard" and "no funny ideas". My FH even worse, he practically put a stop to all my ideas.

After reading that write-out and your reply, I wish to give a 2nd try again.
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I hope my FH will be supportive this time round. *cross my fingers*
 
Today is the last day of my clinic operations before it closes for renovation. Sickening boss. Still so cool about packing his room. Still untouched. I don't care, do my side only and that's it. Leave him to panic tomorrow. Haha.
 
oh janf, yup, that is Bosco. Then I dunno leh. Anyway, just know that he is my FH can already. hee...

Pris, then we can "brainstorm" together.
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There will be more proposals for you as the rest of our ah mais here are finalizing their big day.
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ivied, hehs...*curtsy*,
at first hubby was also against the idea. He kept saying "why do so much?" and I was like "huh? where got so much? actually it's less!" (coz take out the yam seng, less table shots. Ok, "fashion parade still the same lah, just change faster and make effort to mingle more [but I needed the change in order to do the singing bit for him]). It's all about taking out the unnecessary, to put in things that matters / is more meaningful to you. We didn't have the line-up to wish guests good bye too. It was just hubby and myself. Parents continued to mingle with their frens and family members. I think we could pull it off, partly coz (a) we are paying for the whole thing ourselves (had to remind parents a bit...hehs) and (b) the way the invitation cards were worded.

Took quite a bit of persuasion (for hubby) too. in the end I just tell him" leave it to me. You just follow instructions". hahahaha...but we had to tell our family members no Yam Seng (so they dun walk up on stage when there's nothing happening lah...hahaha). Then everything else (eg. parents wanted us to take pictures with their friends) we said "no time". A bit bad lah, coz could tell that my dad was a bit disappointed...but really no time lah. We barely managed to go round our friends' tables...in the end, our dinner ended at 2300...really quite late. :p

Oh, I realised what I wanted to say about "fashion parade" was incomplete! hahaha...
yah, first I had cocktail dress, then I went up again to quickly change into WG. then the quick EG change. maciam a lot of changes? yah...but had to lah (esp the EG one). Just do it quick! But if WG is the short sassy type, then actually no need for EG. But I think most gals would want and EG...afterall, that's the only thing they can keep and how often do we get to wear such a nice dress right? hehs...

umm...try different ways of persuading him lah. Gotta see your friends also I guess. From our experience, pple generally enjoy something different and refreshing...just gotta plan it out nicely and helpers also gotta be able to execute it (wah, maciam some office work like that).
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huiz - I used to havee a boss like that too...
then on the last day, will ask us to pack for him. Warau...but just boh chup. main thing &amp; impt thing...make sure own stuff is taken care off (you know, they always say CYA)...
 
okie gals, me leaving ofc liao.. going back early to rest since i came in at 720am this am.. grr..

hv a good wkend and i 'talk' to u all next tue.. =)
 
CSI, ya I have to try to convince him in another way. But I shall do that after his sis's wedding tomorrow. The main concentration is the big day tomorrow so we shall put this on hold first.

But for my invites, I had worded it as 'parents' invite' so as to give some face to both parents. I even allow my mum to have 4 tables for her friends alone. I hope they won't mind the fact that there won't be a yum seng on stage.

Huiz, bosses are like that. Take it easy.
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Where will u be operating temporary then? Or u will be given off? :p

janf, have a good rest. Enjoy your trip.
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Ask all ah mais, do u give invites to relatives? My uncle told my dad that do not have to issue invites to them, just let them know the location will do. That's what his son did last year.
 
hey ivied,
yah...afterall, you still have some time...so dun "push" them to it..slowly...maybe every now and then point out how nice if this, how nice if that (better if got others' story to use as example to show them)...hehs...then slowly nearer the date say you want like this/that. Maybe by then their minds already more receptive to the ideas that you have...
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It must be quite exciting for ur FH and family tmrw then...then u can also see what they do tmrw and know roughly what to expect for yours...

invites to relatives ah? At first my parents say no need to give. Just word of mouth can already. MIL say must give her relatives. so up to them lah. In the end, I had enough invites for everybody. so we just gave lah...
 
CSI, you're right...it's the most important to have friends and family celebrating your wedding with you.

Ivy: Hee, i'm still brainstorming too and i'll definitely visit the forum more frequently for more ideas. My FH &amp; i have already decided we don't want the "yum seng" part cos i find it quite cheesy. But we haven't told our parents yet...wait till next year when my AD is nearer then say. Haha.

Huiz: Where will you be working since your workplace is undergoing reno?

I want to replace the fake wedding cake with a tier of cupcakes. Will it cost a lot??? If it costs a lot, i shall do away with the idea and think of an alternative.
 
CSI, sure, I shall not bring this up as yet, perhaps next week onwards then start my negotiation skills. hmm.. must do some strategic planning first. :p

yap, they are buzzing with the final details, calling up this relative and that for confirmation. But mine will be slightly different from hers as she has a church wedding and its a lunch banquet while mine is traditional chinese style with dinner banquet. But I would like to see the response of the relatives to the banquet so that I can get myself prepared.
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I have tabulated the figures and the invites are sufficient for both relatives and friends. I would still want to go ahead and issue the invites else I would be left with plenty of spare cards. I see how, if they are persistant about it then I shall just keep the cards for remembrance sake. hee..

Pris, how many tiers do u intend to have? It may not come cheap, you can check it out first.
 
my parents do not give invites to immediate relatives such as their siblings, unless its my aunts. they will write invites to their husbands. other than that, its thru word of mouth. but my in laws practise it differently. they give invites to their siblings too.

we were short of inserts. we just did a second print. the second print is not cheap
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Hi all,

I had a mad morning at another clinic overseeing the transfer of patient files and furniture. Tompang here for a few months. For the next 3 months shall be roaming around like a nomad among the different branches. Sooo tired now. Haven't have lunch yet!

Pris, Li Ann was also thinking of having cupcakes earlier. Unique idea it is, but I think it might be a bit difficult to cut little cupcakes?

My mum also did say that there is no need for cards for close relatives. Just tell them the location will do. But some of my relatives still give us one, an empty one, just for the address on the card la.

Ivied, enjoy yourself tomorrow! I am sure u can learn lots then
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Back to work for me again...
 
giving empty cards? a bit odd rite?

my FIL has a vvvv odd practice. he writes invites to all his siblings and his married nephews and nieces separately i.e. my hubby's cousins all have separate invites. thats why we ended with a shortfall in the inserts.
 
huh? giving empty cards? This is the first time that I have heard of it too.

Sherrie, what your FIL did is right leh. coz the cousins are married and hence have to give separate invites to them. When you do a re-print, is the quoted price the same as the 1st time round?

So we shall just practice what our own parents want, I heck care liao.

BTW, I went to buy some lingerie from La Senza yesterday. hee.. found some sexy ones... can help to spice up our AD night. hee...
 
eh i thought if the yi jia zi zhu (master of the house) is still living, only one card should be sent to him even if he has 10 married sons? if he has two married daughters, only two cards to be sent out to his son-in-laws...

haha..i think most people will be too tired on the AD la. dunno if sexy lingerie will still work or not. i think must take red bull.
 
my mum asked for 28 boxes of wedding cakes. my hubby needs to order them for the guo da li which is two weeks away. any idea how much a box usually costs? any good recommendations?
 
Haha I think giving empty cards is just the odd practise of my family. They just give coz we can have something to fall back on for the exact address.

Sherrie, what kinds of cakes r u considering? Traditional kind? If not can those round Bengawan cakes suffice?

Hur hur, sexy lingerie and dance moves? I think we would be too tired by then ;-P
 
no leh Huiz, I also received empty cards before...from cousins. More for the addresses and dates kinda thing only I guess. hehs...

Sherrie - my parents and PIL also did the same. Married cousins get separate cards. Coz it's like they have their own family unit kinda thing, I guess...
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What kind of cakes are you considering? My parents asked for 38 boxes that time...have to order early coz they will need some time to bake. If your mum is ok with having vouchers, then can just go Bengawan anytime to purchase. Vouchers are dependent on the type of cake you want. Prices for Bengawan starts from S$6.50 for normal butter cake. If I remember correctly, purchase more than $100, there's a 10% discount. We got ours from Pine Gardens in the end (coz I like the cakes there)...heehee...
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ivied - enjoy yourself tmrw...take notes! heehee...
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i don think my mum will want vouchers cos they will have to distribute the cakes to relatives, together with the invitation cards. i don't know either. she didnt specify when my mei po met her. are there different choices?

is pine gardens located at ang mo kio? or are there other branches too?

v scary. 28 days away from the AD.
 
CSI/Huiz, sure I will. Maybe I should bring a Palm along to jot down notes. :p

But it will be an extremely tired day. My SIL getting married in the day, then my FH's best friend in the evening. shack....

sherrie, kind of panicky now right.. Then when is your GDL?
 
Yes yes CSI, that's the reason why they gave us the empty card. At least have the address properly written down. U know la, the older folks will either scribble the address down somewhere and forget about the exact details or don't even jot down, thinking that they can remember... haha

I guess when my time for GDL comes, I would be rather undecisive about actually getting the boxes or get vouchers alone.
 
yah, I was quite indecisive at first too...but when I tasted the Pine Gdns cake, heehee...I knew that's what I wanted.

Vouchers are easier though...when my cousins got married, my aunty distributed the vouchers together with the cards. We went back to tradition...we distrabuted boxes of cakes with the cards...only thing was, the cakes are different...heehee...
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Bengawan solo have options...either the boxes or the vouchers. But I think if you want boxes of cake, it would be better to order early so they can set aside for you. Vouchers, you can buy any time (not too last min though...hehs).
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My mom told me GDL cakes are usually those pandan/marble cake type from bakeries. For me, this is a simple affair cos my dad owns a bakery! Haha...anyone needs help can contact me ok?

Huiz &amp; Ivy: I think cupcakes are not cheap...but no need to really cut, just symbolic gesture. Not sure how many to order or how many tiers too. I definitely won't be able to give EVERYONE attending my banquet one cupcake each.

sherrie: How come your GDL not on a weekend? Did your FS master choose this date for you?
 
my hubby and MIl flipped thru the calendar and decided one the date! alamak!

really? where is the bakery? i went to emicakes just now cos it's near my house. one box with 8 rolls (mixture of durian, mixed fruits, strawberry and chocolate) costs $14.50 per box. i heard some people give whole cakes while some people give assortment of small slices.
 
Wow sherrie, $14.50 is quite exp. I would think one whole cake is easier to handle? Small ones might "run aeound" in the box and there's a risk of them being crushed? Just using my imagination a bit ;-P
 
haha. your imagination certainly runs wild easily. hmmm they offer delivery for more than 250 dollars purchase. my lazy hubby was thinking of getting them delivered directly to my mum's place. save the hassle of bringing the cakes from the shop to his place and back to my place.
 
Hi Ladies..

Gd morning...wow, so many happenings during the weekend..hehee
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Huiz - so nw opic under reno, where will u be relocated?

Sherrie - for cakes, try not to get those with cream..tt's advise fm my ma..she said those wit cream will melt if they take few hrs to send to friends n relatives. She said maybe get those walnut ones.

Pris - can get ur daddy to do the cupcakes
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. I attended my gf's daughter full mth on Sat, she had cupcakes. Think made by a malay lady. If u want, I can get the contact fm her
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Ivied - any notes for sharing
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I'm attending a wed dinner this sat..also gonna open eyes wide wide to observe the to do n not to do things
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Janf - hope u are well now. See u back at the forum tomolo
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CSI - wow, pine garden. Their cakes are yummy. I managed to try a piece of martini lychee? at my friend's wed dinner.

Li Ann - hw's preparation? Guess u muz be quite excited!
 
hi ah mais good morning!
Feeling super tired after the tiring weekend. The work started from Fri evening till Sun night.

My FSIL's wedding - The whole event was touching and enjoyable. She had a church session followed by a lunch banquet. The groom's family were very spontaneous, participating in the whole wedding and laughing along with the couple. There is a live band and some of the guests started dancing after the groom's speech. The groom was not spared either, being asked to drink glasses after glasses. Overall, the crowd bring in the atmosphere, it does not look like a wedding at all, more like an event where everyone is dancing and playing around.

FH's best friend's wedding - We did not attend the morning tea ceremony but heard that it was quite a mess when it comes to serving tea. The dinner banquet started like a normal dinner initially, but the groom's relatives and friends started making fun of the couple and that's where the fun comes in. They were playing with the couple and making the poor groom drank plenty of glasses of red wine and hard liquor. We belong to the more 'civilised' group of friends so we just sat there and laugh at them. haha...

Overall, my conclusions to wedding banquets is to involve your guests in the wedding, they are the ones who can make the event more lively and enjoyable. Have fun with your helpers too. Without them, there won't be memories of joy and laughter.
 
Dear ah mais,

it's a bad start for me today. Network problem!!!!

How's everybody doing? Don't forget our coming gathering on 23rd Dec.
 
I have also realised that no matter how well you have planned for your wedding, things will get corked up somewhere. Just go with the flow and enjoy every moment. The day will be over in a jiffy before you know it.

One thing for sure, do not compare with others. We can pick up notes about the wedding events but do not feel the need to 'follow suit'. Its your wedding, its up to u on how u want the day to be. A more personal wedding that touches both of you will bring in more memories.
 


oh ya, my FMIL mentioned that it is not very appropriate to forgo the GDL, just do it as a 'yi si' will do. So I shall have one too. My FH kept asking me what does my mum wants. Then my mum asked me what should she ask for. aiyo..
 
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