"Guo Da Li (过大礼)" ??
- Thread starter trihok
- Start date
hi Jasmine
The proceedings of GDL varies from one family to another, dialect groups, etc. Most of the cases, they just follow what their relatives do on the day, which buying/getting a list of items and deliver it on the selected day.
Therefore, it is not about what the groom and the bride family ask for, it is more of how elaborate or simple both sides wants for, whether to have everything, or just few items will do.
hi Emy
I was a cantonese bride married to a cantonese.
Just to know which aspect of GDL you would like to know? maybe you can refer to this thread (Because i wrote my 'long' story there.)
Anything Under The Sun > Cantonese custom
Attached is something i downloaded from archive of this thread. Hope this is useful.
<center><table border=1><tr><td>
Wedding Prep
Wedding_prep-original-107691-191119.xls (23.6 k)</td></tr></table></center>
I was a cantonese bride married to a cantonese.
Just to know which aspect of GDL you would like to know? maybe you can refer to this thread (Because i wrote my 'long' story there.)
Anything Under The Sun > Cantonese custom
Attached is something i downloaded from archive of this thread. Hope this is useful.
<center><table border=1><tr><td>
Wedding_prep-original-107691-191119.xls (23.6 k)</td></tr></table></center>
Does anyone here knows where to get those stuff for Guo Da Li and An Chuang etc...
Best is those one-stop shop. Can get everything there at one go...
I heard Chinatown there is a few, wonder if any kind souls out there can help to enlighten me of their "address"?
Thanks in advance
Best is those one-stop shop. Can get everything there at one go...
I heard Chinatown there is a few, wonder if any kind souls out there can help to enlighten me of their "address"?
Thanks in advance
marilyntay
New Member
Hi, I need help for GDL too. We will be arranging a parent-meeting session pretty soon. Thus, I would like to find out more.
1) Any fix time to have GDL before AD? Is 2 weeks before AD reasonable? can be earlier?
2) I understand that GDL should follow groom side right? anyone have hokkien GDL list to share?
3) Do bride's side need to prepare anything back in return?
THanks in advance.
1) Any fix time to have GDL before AD? Is 2 weeks before AD reasonable? can be earlier?
2) I understand that GDL should follow groom side right? anyone have hokkien GDL list to share?
3) Do bride's side need to prepare anything back in return?
THanks in advance.
hi m&m
1) GDL date & time can be fixed, usually morning. however, more 'pang dang' families will tend to look for fortune teller for the specific time.
2) i guess should be following the groom side; can't really help you with this, as both hubby & i are cantonese.
3) usually for GDL, bride's side usually return half of what is brought over inclusive the drowy (or ping jin). Not sure about hokkien though.
1) GDL date & time can be fixed, usually morning. however, more 'pang dang' families will tend to look for fortune teller for the specific time.
2) i guess should be following the groom side; can't really help you with this, as both hubby & i are cantonese.
3) usually for GDL, bride's side usually return half of what is brought over inclusive the drowy (or ping jin). Not sure about hokkien though.
marilyntay
New Member
Hi Jane, Thanks.
Schnauize: If you follow the origin of GDL, it should follow the groom's side. Cos in olden days, the groom will not ask the bride's family but they will just bring in whatever they want to give.
Schnauize: If you follow the origin of GDL, it should follow the groom's side. Cos in olden days, the groom will not ask the bride's family but they will just bring in whatever they want to give.
marilyntay
New Member
Schnauzie: ya lor... Nowadays, it's really up to us. Not many people really know what are the meanings behind and what we do all these for, just follow only. Initially, my FH and I wanted to arrange 'ti qin' next month, but my mum said it's better to be an even month (based on lunar calendar). So no choice, have to follow loh...
marilyntay
New Member
Schnauzie: I don't have ROM, cos solemination same as AD. We will be holding church wedding. I am not too sure too cos not over yet. For us, the groom side will fix a date, book a restaurant and of course pay for the dinner. When the parents meet, I don't think have to ask for the hand formally. Our parents had meet before in another function. Maybe eat and then start talking about pin jin, things/date for GDL,... We had already decide on the number of table B4 hand.
jellytots77
New Member
Hi any helpful soul...
i heard that there is a shop at Jurong West St 50 something that sell all the GDL stuff... anyone has any idea where isit and also the opening hours...
Tks and hope to hear fm u all soon
i heard that there is a shop at Jurong West St 50 something that sell all the GDL stuff... anyone has any idea where isit and also the opening hours...
Tks and hope to hear fm u all soon
marilyntay
New Member
Hi joyjoy,
First of all, you need to ask whether you and your bf are ready and wanted to tie the knot, not your parents. I had done most preparation before our parents meet. However, for issues such as banquet, dates, drowy... I have to talk to them and confirm that they are ok with the decision. In fact, for most decisions, we talk to both sides parents separately.
First of all, you need to ask whether you and your bf are ready and wanted to tie the knot, not your parents. I had done most preparation before our parents meet. However, for issues such as banquet, dates, drowy... I have to talk to them and confirm that they are ok with the decision. In fact, for most decisions, we talk to both sides parents separately.
Hi m&m,
Thanks for ur reply. Yes both of us are ready to tie the knot but when i told my parents and my sister that i'm getting married they looked so sian and ignore me, i feel so discourage. Aren't marriage a happy thing? My bf and i actually planned to get married this year and have invited my parents out for dinner so he can announce or ask for my parents permission to marry me. But in the end dinner cancelled cos my dad said 'if want to talk abt marriage ask his parents to come and talk to me not he.' Of cos we can let our parents meet up but i'm so scare this marriage will blow off cos my father very old fashion, hot-tempered, demanding and he love to drink beer. When he get drunk, he will mess up the whole thing. Haiz... don't know how.Very sad.
Thanks for ur reply. Yes both of us are ready to tie the knot but when i told my parents and my sister that i'm getting married they looked so sian and ignore me, i feel so discourage. Aren't marriage a happy thing? My bf and i actually planned to get married this year and have invited my parents out for dinner so he can announce or ask for my parents permission to marry me. But in the end dinner cancelled cos my dad said 'if want to talk abt marriage ask his parents to come and talk to me not he.' Of cos we can let our parents meet up but i'm so scare this marriage will blow off cos my father very old fashion, hot-tempered, demanding and he love to drink beer. When he get drunk, he will mess up the whole thing. Haiz... don't know how.Very sad.
marilyntay
New Member
Hi joyjoy,
Seem that your family is quite traditional. Maybe you can communicate with your parent (maybe your mum can help if she's more open) beforehand. Try to find out what they will demand from your bf's side. Then you and your bf can discuss and even hint his parents before hand. Will you be paying for your own wedding or will his parents be helping? In my case, my parents know that we are paying for everything, so they are more 'qing cai'.
Seem that your family is quite traditional. Maybe you can communicate with your parent (maybe your mum can help if she's more open) beforehand. Try to find out what they will demand from your bf's side. Then you and your bf can discuss and even hint his parents before hand. Will you be paying for your own wedding or will his parents be helping? In my case, my parents know that we are paying for everything, so they are more 'qing cai'.
Hi m&m,
I don't think my mum can help. Cos no one can change my dad decision.(i'm so helpless). From what i know my bf's dad will be helping us but not too sure is for wedding dinner or house renovation(i'll be staying with his parents as he is the youngest and the only one staying with them now so i don't think his elder sibling will want their parents to stay with them). Anyway if his parents help us fork out the amount, we still have to pay them back later. Its just that we don't have to worry about $ at the point of time.
I don't think my mum can help. Cos no one can change my dad decision.(i'm so helpless). From what i know my bf's dad will be helping us but not too sure is for wedding dinner or house renovation(i'll be staying with his parents as he is the youngest and the only one staying with them now so i don't think his elder sibling will want their parents to stay with them). Anyway if his parents help us fork out the amount, we still have to pay them back later. Its just that we don't have to worry about $ at the point of time.
Hi all,
been reading tis thread fm starting bout GDL & those traditional custome....
can anyone tel me how's the process if marry off fm hotel? can we hv tea ceremony 1st at hotel (bride site) den go for groom site serve tea?
joy2,
be relax...everything hv to convince them sumtimes, n try hard hard to do tat. at 1st place they may feel like nothing if u get marry when u tel them...no choice then u hv prepare ur wedding by ownself, get them involve when needed, they will 'feel' it ...tat's ur BIG day slowly bah!
been reading tis thread fm starting bout GDL & those traditional custome....
can anyone tel me how's the process if marry off fm hotel? can we hv tea ceremony 1st at hotel (bride site) den go for groom site serve tea?
joy2,
be relax...everything hv to convince them sumtimes, n try hard hard to do tat. at 1st place they may feel like nothing if u get marry when u tel them...no choice then u hv prepare ur wedding by ownself, get them involve when needed, they will 'feel' it ...tat's ur BIG day slowly bah!
marilyntay
New Member
Hi joyjoy,
have a rough idea what to you and your hb want and what your priorities are. Prepare your in-law what they will be expecting. Maybe tell them that your parents are very traditional parents, so they would prefer everything to be done 'properly'. Maybe you may want to protect your parents too, tell your in-law that they are acutally very nice, just not very good in expressing. Hope that they will not mind. You be the sweet sweet middleman. At the same time, tell your parent what they will be expecting too before the meeting. Sometimes, our parents amy sound harsh, but they too will not want to put their children in a difficult situation. It's just our cultual. Respect is the word.
have a rough idea what to you and your hb want and what your priorities are. Prepare your in-law what they will be expecting. Maybe tell them that your parents are very traditional parents, so they would prefer everything to be done 'properly'. Maybe you may want to protect your parents too, tell your in-law that they are acutally very nice, just not very good in expressing. Hope that they will not mind. You be the sweet sweet middleman. At the same time, tell your parent what they will be expecting too before the meeting. Sometimes, our parents amy sound harsh, but they too will not want to put their children in a difficult situation. It's just our cultual. Respect is the word.
marilyntay
New Member
Hi tlc,
traditional-speaking cannot, modern-speaking you can do anything as long as both of your parents don't mind.
traditional-speaking cannot, modern-speaking you can do anything as long as both of your parents don't mind.
annann0709
New Member
hi all!!
i am new to this thread.
Need some advice from everyone of u here.
As my FH parents n my parents have no idea at all what to buy for the 'guo da li' session, FH n i have headache as to whr to buy those things. Pls advise some trustworthy shops whr they will teach us wat to buy n wat to do on AD customary.
i am new to this thread.
Need some advice from everyone of u here.
As my FH parents n my parents have no idea at all what to buy for the 'guo da li' session, FH n i have headache as to whr to buy those things. Pls advise some trustworthy shops whr they will teach us wat to buy n wat to do on AD customary.
jiamin_loh
New Member
Ann Ann,
Congratulations, when will you be getting married??? Last week, I have also enquired on the things to buy for "Guo Da Li", "An Chuang", "Shu Tou" and "Chumen". I be having my customary next year Dec'06 - let me have your e-mail address so I can forward to you...(The e-mail was forwarded by angeline ang from this forum).
Congratulations, when will you be getting married??? Last week, I have also enquired on the things to buy for "Guo Da Li", "An Chuang", "Shu Tou" and "Chumen". I be having my customary next year Dec'06 - let me have your e-mail address so I can forward to you...(The e-mail was forwarded by angeline ang from this forum).
Hi tlc
tradition-speaking u r suppose to leave e house when e groom comes over to 'fetch' u.
u served tea st his house to let his relatives 'accept' u. then u r suppose to change yr clothing (either to kua or a tea dress) (this can be done before e guy's tea ceremony too) before going back to e gal's house to serve tea (this is to let everyone (from e gal's side) knows that u r now e guy's wife). This is also for yr relatives to 'accept' e guy as yr hubby.
Think is like dat. so even though is troublesome but is only once in a lifetime so better get it right n makes yr mum happy.
tradition-speaking u r suppose to leave e house when e groom comes over to 'fetch' u.
u served tea st his house to let his relatives 'accept' u. then u r suppose to change yr clothing (either to kua or a tea dress) (this can be done before e guy's tea ceremony too) before going back to e gal's house to serve tea (this is to let everyone (from e gal's side) knows that u r now e guy's wife). This is also for yr relatives to 'accept' e guy as yr hubby.
Think is like dat. so even though is troublesome but is only once in a lifetime so better get it right n makes yr mum happy.
annann0709
New Member
hi,
can anybody give me the address of the shop at Jurong East.my email is [email protected] meanwhile, check out this website selling all GDL stuff in JB, city sq.
www.fengshuijiafang.com
can anybody give me the address of the shop at Jurong East.my email is [email protected] meanwhile, check out this website selling all GDL stuff in JB, city sq.
www.fengshuijiafang.com
jiamin_loh
New Member
Hi,
Sorry for my late response...Please check your mail now...
Sorry for my late response...Please check your mail now...