"Guo Da Li (过大礼)" ??

[kite~]

hi sgn,

i do not know where u bot ur items from. it's from chinatown complex. where is urs?

The address is:

Blk 335, Smith Street, #01-229, S050335.
Chinatown Complex.

Name of the shop: K.K. Antique Centre.

Tel: 62251185 / 98483013 / 94362058

There are 2 sisters tending the stall, very friendly n helpful. My mum spent only $98 for my Jia zhuang stuffs. HTH.

 

[pregnantbride2b]

Hi,
Where is the shop in Jurong West? Is it near JJC?

Kite,
Could you please share with me what are the things for jia zhuang?

 

[jennytansc]

The shop shld be at Blk 506 Jurong West. very near the hawker & market one. the name of the shop is call "zhuo Qiu"

 

[metta]

ULN,
yes that shop is at the market nearest to JJC. Walk all the way in to the HongLeong bank that side and the shop is right oppositie. It is a little red shop full of traditional wedding stuff. The lady will advise what to buy.

 

[bugs]

kite,
me dun remeber the shop name and no. only remember 2 ladies attending to the shop dun really look like sisters to me! but it's in the chinatown market ley.

 

[kite~]

hi sgn,

oic. u can try the address i provide above. thanks. overall, my mum spent only $98 for all the items.

 

[bugs]

kite,
yap i bought $88 which exculsive of tea set, and lamps. i even ask for smaller basin rather than the baby bath basin. tks.

 

[dear_dear]

For those who need to know the full address of the shop located at Jurong West, here you goes:

Blk 506 Jurong West St 52 #01-180
Tel: 6566 0311, 6566 0333

 

[phuture]

Does anyone know if the shop in Jurong West opens after 6pm???

 

[sandi]

hey how you people choose the date for GUO DA LI ?? need to check Tong SHU for acsipious date ?? or juz a normal day will do ?

 

[bugs]

hi sandi,

my mil ask ppl to check the dates in the tong shu. acc ot my grandma as long as it says gd for 'qu jia' can already.

 

[jennytansc]

Hi phuture,
the shop opened until 8pm for wkday.

 

[phuture]

Thanks Jenny!

Sandi, your in-laws are the ones who choose the date. Mine went to the temple and got someone to go through the almanac to get a suitable date.

 

[hakida]

sandi,

Me and my hubby went to quanyin temple at SI MA LU to get the GDL date,at the same time we oso get the date for AN CHUAN...

 

[sandi]

hi hayashi..

what actually is AN CHUAN ?? our new house bed already bought , but we have never slept on it ley..

 

[bugs]

sandi,
An chuan , just a chinese believe that getting an elder to shift the bed into the place u want.

some ppl said just get ur parents to touch the bed or push towards the position u want. just pretent to move the bed can also.

 

[hakida]

sandi,

if u don't know anything about AN CHUAN,and ur hubby,parents or IN-laws,don't mind that u follow this belief,then u don't An Chuan lor.....Since it's already the 21 st century.....Not necessary to follow all the believes and tradtions....

 

[iceblue]

hi HP (stubbilla),

can u give me the address of buying GDL stuff at jurong west and bukit timah? cos i now looking for one.

beside this, where did u buy ur 'jia zhuang'? wat does it include of? can advise? i'm teochew, hubby hokkien.

thanks.

 

[magix]

hi iceblue, juz kpo here... FYI i bought my GDL stuff at bt timah... its in the shopping centre... think its the 3rd level? same level as the hawker ctr.... but i dun like the auntie there.... the next day i went to chinatown... the stall is much smaller but it has everything we need... and more variety... the auntie is nicer as well. its on the 1st level, juz underneath the hawker ctr at chinatown...

dun worry abt the stuff to get... the auntie there is experienced enuff to help u... it will include the usual stuff like baby bathtub, the spitton, sewing box, bedside lamp etc...

 

[iceblue]

hi magix wand,

thanks for ur info....

 

[ababelicious]

hi

is it true that we cant sleep on a bed before the an chuan process has been conducted?

 

[dottyback]

hi baby

erm 2 b frank wif u, we din go thru tis an chuang process

i guess it depends how u n ur hubby believe such traditions ultimately...there r many many other things we nv heard of but parents will suggest or insists when it comes 2 customary

 

[hoshi5]

Hi baby,
my parents-in-law very 'pan-dan' one...
On the day our bed was delivered, they told us cannot put the mattress onto the bed frame first...
Then on the an-chuan day, they will put ang-pow at 4 corners of the bed, then put the mattress onto the frame.... after which, they put a plate of mixed 'dunno wat' onto the bed. We are not supposed to shift the bed, nor touch it for 3 days.

I guess nowadays so modern, depends on how much u want to follow..

 

[yuki_ko]

Hi Hoshi & Baby

Juz my bits abt 'an chuan'...

My in-law is into fortune telling and fengshui.. so she did it for us... she chose for us an auspicious date for the bed to be delivered and an auspicious time for the bed to be pushed to the wall lor... we can still touch it and we didn't have to put a plate of dunno wat... but I understand some of my friends they put 'dry longan', tea leaves and ginko nuts, etc... (think so)... guess really depend on how 'pan-dan' yr parents or in-laws are lor.... but most of the time better to follow lor... otherwise, next time, when something happen, they will keep on saying it's because the last time u nvr 'an chuan'.... or didn't 'an' properly...

And I think if u r required to an chuan, u can't sleep on it yet... in fact, u can't even push towards the wall yet... coz an auspicous time need to be chosen... I know that coz I ask my in-law... 'wow, like that those bed mover must be very free lor... sit there and wait for yr auspicious time to move the bed in?' then her reply was 'olden time pple do like that lah... now u think pple free meh... so juz dun move it against the wall can liao'....

Hope it helps...

 

[levynn]

hi girls... sorry to sound ignorant... but wat is "guo da li"??

 

[kelpy]

Hi Gals

My wedding's in Mar 05 so now starting to do some homework.

But seem like got a bit of problem: My (I'm the Groom) parents feel that GDL stuff is to be decided by them and no request is to be made by my in-laws. Of course, my in-laws feel the other way.

What's the by right method?

Advice?

Thanks.

 

[dottyback]

hi kelpy

i guess the best thing is 4 both sides parents 2 mit each other n c wad each other wan/nid n oso fixing the guo da li date

4 my case, both sides of parents r quite chin chai so we went simplicity all the way

 

[tigerw]

Hi kelpy,

I think in order to maintain peace, both side should practise 'give and take'. The bride side will have their request like for 'Guo Da Li', 'pin jin' and the number of tables for dinner where the groom side have to meet. Of course, negoitation is possible.

For me as both my parents and parents-in-law wants a problem-free wedding, they practise this 'close one eye and give & take' tactics.

 

[kelpy]

Thanks serene.

The problem is they have met and my in-laws say sui bian.

Then after the meeting MIL tell me she will pass me a list of stuff.

My parents thought that the meeting was final and since sui bian then they decide.

Anyway, I agree with you that we let them sort out themselves.

Just wanted to know if anyone else got the same problem.

 

[dottyback]

np kelpy

u noe wad? usually both sides parents say suibian but we duno how suibian r they haha

most impt things r like number of tables muz settled earlier, i guess the other 'traditional' bits can b suibian if both sides r agreeable

 

[levynn]

hello kelpy... i think it's better for the elders to decide among themselves. sometimes when they say "sui bian", they actually not "sui bian" at all... esp if u r the eldest in the family.

according to my mother... she said that my grandma said "sui bian" last time for her wedding then everything juz settle quickly. but then after that, my grandpa not happy... so whenever my grandparents argue, my grandpa will bring up the issue abt how my mother's wedding was not grand enuf... though he did said he had no opinions abt it b4 the wedding...

 

[wsj]

hi all.
i do agree that levynn, that it is better for force the elders to decide although they always say 'sui bian'.
Because both my in-laws & parents kept saying 'sui bian', then in the end, during the last month of preparation for the wedding, we have last minute orders like must buy this, must do that, stuff like that...

 

[levynn]

hi people...

our parents juz met yesterday. quite awkward at 1st... when everyone concentrated on eating. but luckily my FH's mother is sort of "experienced" in this kind of thing, so she got the ball rolling. my grandma was there too... so they decided to keep things simple. according to my FH (he's teochew), this meeting is only like to let the parents see one another. then there's another day where someone (cannot b his mum) fr the male's side will have to come down n we will then tell her wat we wan for the wedding. then this lady will go back n let them (the male side) noe n then they'll discuss.

 

[powpow]

Hi to everybody,
My in laws mentioned that one of the item for GDL is the "spit bowl" which my mum will provide to the groom side and its to be kept at our home, anybody have the same experience?
I dont want it but no choice, any idea where to get one that is not those traditional type, something more cute and cartoon that is meant for little children? Since I need to put it at my home, I will try to get something not too "ügly"

 

[bugs]

hi pampergal,
i think all shops that sells hsehold things should have.

 

[wsj]

hi pampergal
i have the same experience, i have to provide the 'spit bowl' for GDL. i got it from the chinatown stall which sells wedding stuff together with the rest of the GDL & wedding stuff, but is the tradition red one that you mentioned.

If you are looking for more cute looking one, i suggest go around the shopping centres and look under children section, probably see one for toilet training

 

[powpow]

Hi to everyone, thanks for the reply

I did look around at some shops selling those cute stuff/soft toys for children & baby but no luck.
I just cant stand the sight of it, really hope to get one that is nicer looking, not those tradition red one

If anybody do see one that is nice and cute, do let me know ok

 

[iceblue]

hi yami,

ur 'Guo Da LI' items is for which dialect group? I'm teochew and FH is hokkien. is it ok to follow those items?

thanks

 

[yamiyogurt]

iceblue,

i m not sure, i got the list from someone else. i intend to use that as a 'base' then check with poarents n relatives. they can confirm the details.

 

[lucky_seashell]

Hi,
There's another shop selling at Jurong West.
Blk 504 Jurong West St51 #01-229

 

[csp]

hi hi,

i have a question, my MIL told my hubby that during her time, bride's parents can only choose either to have the tables for the wedding dinner or ping jin but not both. is this true? All along i tot tat it's a standard to give both items to the bride's parents.

 

[dottyback]

i guess no 1 will noe wads true lah..diff ppl from diff era got their own belifs...wads most impt is wad both parents wan n whether they can accomodate each other's requests or reasonings

nowadays bride's parents indeed haf both pin jin n the number of tables

 

[dolphin48]

HI all

I think I have some serious problem.
My FH and his mum are the type who don't care a thing for traditions and know nothing about it or not bothered to follow.
On the other hand, my family is one hell of a traditional family and my mum is throwing lots of must do esp for an chuang, ping jin etc. She has not covered the GDL yet but I'm already having a hard time convincing my FH on the needs of some traditional must do. Both side of the parents have not met but i'm not sure if I want them to meet cos afraid that they will clash as both are difficult parents. This is already creating a huge pressure on me and I feel like calling off the whole thing.

Anyone has similar experience or can anyone pls give advice?

 

[wsj]

hi Daphne

it is sad to hear about your mother being too concern about traditions. I had similar but less problematic problem like you when i was going thru mine except that it is my mother-in-law and my dad who are the traditional ones.

My hubby given me a choice, to continue with the wedding, ... or not. Reason is she(my mil)'s not going to stop being traditional after the wedding, because she is what she is, and if i cannot take it just for this one event, i may not hold on to the marriage for the rest of our lifes. I choose to move on (i.e. to continue with the wedding), by simply fulfill most of the 'requirements' set down by her... while my hubby does the same for my dad.

i do understand it is pressurizing for you as in your case, it is your mother not mother in law. Feel that you should try to tell your mother, to simplfy the traditional stuff saying not many people pratices all of them nowadays here. What's good for the new couple if to make both families unhappy by not compromising each other and making the couple unhappy to start with?

However, parents of both sides still have to meet, but both sides have to understand that both families have different values and thinkings on what to do for your wedding.

 

[woof]

hi all,
is GDL = xia ping...still confused

 

[schnauzie]

hi can i check guo da li means wat? to give a list of things to the girl side? or the girls side to buy the lsit of things from the shop? *confused*

 

[wsj]

hi schnauzie

In the old times, guo da li is for groom-to-be's family to give bride-to-be family gifts, something like engagement (booking of the girl to be the bride in layman terms), so, gifts are usually range from delicacies to roll of cloths and of course wedding cakes.
When this event takes place, there are many spectators seeing how 'big' the 'mien-zi' is for the groom. in short, i believe is like what woof says, GDL = xia ping.

As times goes by, this tradition event had evolved. first of all, 90% of the time, the groom and bride already know each other and families compared to old times. And also for now, people are more demanding, i.e., they actually discuss and request what to receive from the groom on this day, details all the way down to which brand and quantity.

So to answer your question, GDL is to give list of things to girl side. To girls' side to buy list of things, is considered preparation.

 

[janf]

can anyone advise if we can distribute the wedding invitation cards to colleagues & frens before the GDL? coz i understand that cakes will be part of the GDL & the gal side will have to distribute the cakes together with the invitation cards...

thks thks!

 

[penguin26]

yes i distribute before that cos my GDL is a week before my wedding so impossible to reach all...tink depends on both side parents, except for elderly, my parents will inform them by phone first.On GDL then send card together

 

[wsj]

hi janf
don't really know how strict you would like to follow that 'tradition'...

From my personal experience, we cannot afford to wait until GDL then distribute invitation cards & cakes as my GDL is 4 days before my AD.

In the matter of fact, i already started distributing wedding cards (and cake vouchers) 2 months before the AD until the very last day before AD despite i have a very traditional-minded MIL.

So, i believed it is allowable to distribute such items before hand.