Going out

[miloice]

watching, after all that you are mentioning, despite how great and wonder your relationship you have mentioned, weren't what you wrote in your very 1st post the very actions and thoughts exchanged? The unhappiness and complains about the lack of freedom were not from someone else in this forum but his own words as narrated by you.

I don't think you need to go on to explain to the world your relationship but figure out why such a great and open relationship you both are believing in is somehow shaken this much over a dinner date with this PRC. And if its totally nothing, why are you writing about all these while for? I really duno. Only you do.

 

[watching]

Powder,
I was illustrating he was trained to do house chores since very young, not having anyone to "change bed sheets" (an analogy) as a response to your generic, "domestic stuff in a man's life falls on mum/dad before he's married". And the part about working for allowances and running a business (I forgot to mention he was the backbone of their lives); I was painting the picture of a boy who provides for others, more so than they provide for him, to negate your "insinuations" for the need of a motherly of fatherly figure.

Do shed some light if you've got a more conceivable notion.

Doll,
Sorry, lost track. I wrote about my "great and wonderful" relationship to combat the tyrannical part.

Milo,
I was also looking for something what Powder almost provided, why S.O. behaves the way is he is behaving. The part about the mainland chinese woman asking for a date, yes, I was jealous and it got to me, how I was able to make veiled threats, we've got that covered.

 

[powder]

watching,

i dun get u really... u are trying to push me into the same assumption u make - that just becos someone does household chores in the past - that he doesn't need or want a person to do the chores for him Now? Knowing how to do chores, and wanting to do them all the time - are 2 different matters. i do my chores since young too - cook, sheets, vaccuum etc etc... i'd actually prefer to have someone else do them, Even IF i've done them in the past.

But this just covers domestic work... i was referring to your own admission of "I am a leader in certain areas in our relationship, mostly domestic stuff."... so since u state so clearly your role, i dun see why u're trying to hard to dispute what u rightly pointed out in the first place.

with the wonderful picture u're painting of your bfren, wouldn't it sorta make u seem rather unreasonable in spite of his wonderful qualities? and after getting your answers/opinions, why are u guiding others to also say only good things abt u?

maybe this whole exchange is a good way for u to look at your stance on some matters. it's certainly contradicting at times... one minute he seems to be his own man, next minute he is running to u for decisions...

think maybe we take a break from each other. our minds obviously works in different ways... i'm not very good with trying to analyse things, whilst remaining in a state of denial.

 

[watching]

Powder,
I was combating the part of a tyrant when I spoke of "how wonderful our relationship is" (in quotation marks), how can that equate to getting people to say good things about me? I specifically wrote ""tyrant" and "I love you" in one paragraph to intertwine.
Question: He says I love you most ?
Answer: He's not afraid of me.
I can't deny I look bad in comparison to him.

Regarding the part where I am a leader in domestic stuff.
Question: He hates family upheavals.
Answer: I take over, despite it is in his nurturing character to provide for his family in the past. (he could just as easily not do it). If he was providing willingly for them, I see no correlation for a motherly girlfriend.

Perhaps using the example of the notorious empress Dowager instructing the puppet emperor misguided you in your motherly stance. He takes charge of his family and yet he comes to me for things. I know how it looks, contradicting.

Never mind me. Anyway, appreciate all the analyzing.

 

[powder]

Just explore and keep a lookout for signs but dun have to be overly obsessed to the point of handicapping yourself. I have no idea how it ended up in this state but since u have no problems then good for u, that's all I can say.

I dun think I'm misguided, all the words u have been using have been condescending to say the least, and points at other pple being wrong whilst u're upholding whatever it is u're upholding. Since u're the one to put forth this whole entire issue, I see no harm being a little more humble and open to opinions instead of refuting every single point like your life depended on it.

It's like inviting pple to your housewarming and insisting They only say good things abt your house, when U are the same person who went "how do u find my house?"

But Sincerely, good luck.

 

[kittenpie]

watching,

im commenting based on your very first posting because as the thread stretched into an epic debate i lost touch with the arguments.

perhaps you are not really paranoid or insecure. perhaps the root cause is that you are in a relationship that brings out the worst in you.

if your SO were a true gentleman who does not openly oggle at girls, it would not stir up the feelings of insecurity in you. i also suspect that your SO is a little bit of a devil's advocate. why on earth should he tell you about a PRC woman centering her attention on him, other than to provoke jealousy in you. seriously, i dont think it is as simple as he being such a docile boy that he reports everything to you. he could be subtlely trying to trigger off something in you, which could be attention, jealousy, etc.

(actually i have other thoughts on the PRC girl. some females like to centre their attention on men out of habit. they were conditioned since young to cosy up to men whom they hope could extend more help and concern to them, compared to female friends. it could just be a habit with no further motive)

so why is this relationship so combative? yes, this is the word i use - combative. you present your arguments versus his arguments, as if struggling over who is right or wrong. the reader even gets the impression that you guys like to threaten each other. if you started out being a person who has a strong desire to be in the right, such a relationship would make you more competitive and self-righteous.

do you realise that other people's relationships are not like that? do you realise that it is possible to happily live and let live, give and receive and manage a relationship with peaceful consensus?

as a woman, i do not like to feel that im in a constant state of hostility or readiness for war. being in such a relationship does not make me feel appreciated or at the most basic level -it makes me feel unwomanly.

despite your aggressive opinions and strong posturing (the impression shaped by your first post) you seem to want to possess him badly. to me, this is ironic. how could you ever own a person's heart if you are not even able to trust him fully? by analysing things to death? by arguing or threatening? all these is futile, like trying to box your own shadow.

i think all this boils down to is a very real trust issue in your relationship. i have male friends who are married who go out with me on a one-to-one basis, and their wives are totally cool with it. at first, i thought that they might be interested in me or something, but as the years go by, it is obvious that our friendship is platonic. so what my male friends have with their wives is called TRUST. they go out with female friends one-to-one, their wives trust them, and they do not break their wives' trust.

why can't it be the same for you as well?

if he really ran away with this PRC girl after just one date with her, or if this thing grew out of hand, this would prove that whatever he had with you in the first place was not genuine love to start with, am i right? in this case, wouldn't it be better for you to know earlier than later?

personally, if i were you, i would be very disappointed to see his reaction afterwards - the being disgruntled and all that. this indicates that he could be a closet flirt with unfulfilled desires to meet other girls. why isn't he happy to have made a decision that should have pleased you? but i do not have enough info to be the judge on this, you decide if there is any truth in this.

 

[simpleman]

may,

So you have to do a final analysis after the epic debate?

if he really ran away with this PRC girl after just one date with her, or if this thing grew out of hand, this would prove that whatever he had with you in the first place was not genuine love to start with, am i right? in this case, wouldn't it be better for you to
know earlier than later?


I don't quite agree 100%. Yes, to a certain extent. Human relationships are complex and at times tender.

Spouses must be guarded against temptations. Each much know and evaluate. And the best is for each to be open and communicate with each other - the fears and insecurities. The dinner date may be nothing in itself but it does not mean that we don't have to take care of the feelings of our loved ones.

I mean, it is really no harm to go for the date. But then, what harm is there not going for the date? It won't kill.

I can understand TS's insecurity and her reason for not allowing her hb to go for the dinner date. I just don't agree with her methods of doing so.

Another way is to communicate with the hb about her insecurities.. tell him how she will not be able to do anything and imagine the worse case scenario when he is out with the date. this is preferred to using "veiled" threats.

 

[hweebs]

I agree with sm. A relationship needs to be kept going with nurturance and communication, and it is normal to be insecure in such situations. It's just that the method is a bit off.

 

[simpleman]

May,

personally, if i were you, i would be very disappointed to see his reaction afterwards - the being disgruntled and all that. this indicates that he could be a closet flirt with unfulfilled desires to meet other girls. why isn't he happy to have made a decision that should have pleased you? but i do not have enough info to be the judge on this, you decide if there is any truth in this.

I don't think you need to over-analyze and concluded he could be a closet flirt with unfulfilled desires to meet other girls. The disgruntled face and buay song is more of a reaction to her - her veiled threats.. not necessary because of not being able to have that date.

As you can see, both of them use this type of negative "communication" which will hurt the relationship in the long run

 

[miloice]

Actually, throughout, the dispute is never about denialing TS of her insecure and jealousy feelings. But rather, pointing out that the reactions is somehow damaging and quite naturally not going to go well with her partner.

She isn't the only one in the relationship with emotions. Both were upset by it. There are better ways to manage it than threatening. Something that she now has acknowledged.

And I agree with powder completely on how she is trying to refute every single point. Its to a point that the focal is completely off her initial issue.

May's point about the aggressive nature of the relationship is evident in her 1st post. We are all capable of being really nice or mean. Its pretty clear that the incident has brought the worst of the couple and it was extended into this thread as well. You can see how much her tone transformed after she has toned down.

Bear in mind, what forumers can read isn't our life story, none of us are mind readers and fortune tellers. We draw the assumptions from the information shared and behavior displayed. The thread started with a total offensive and opinionated view that somehow she is needing some validation and went on the attempt to refuke every point even going to words and phases when the clear message it is collectively indicating is exactly what many have been pointing out. You don't need the details. Its a honest feedback of the view is painted by none other than TS herself.

Till now, she is still believing this regular thingy when clearly newbies are also agreeing and pointing out the same. For sure, she can identify the regulars. The entire point is omitting the newbies. Its clearly a mixed group.

Never discounted that she has probably a better and nicer side. Why else would her bf love and see so much in her. Just that, she isn't displaying much of that in here. Probably something she could think about. Do you guys bring the best of the both most of the time?

If yes, then, there is really nothing to worry about. You guys are in good track and this fight is just one of the usual possible conflict with overreactions etc. But, if this is the usual mode, you guys normally threaten and bring the worst of each other, then the truth is flat on the face already.

 

[powder]

actually i'm pretty inclined to may's angle. except i agree with watching sorta disallowing the bf from heading out with the girl, Yet if on a biz pov, it should not happen. end of the day, it depends on how biz is biz...

the biz dynamics u either understand or u dun... in biz, u sometimes meet pple who really like u and wanna do more biz with u, and u dun know why... if it's female, u may think she like u or have some hots for u... it's inevitable. i have been thru this before and sometimes, it can be as simple as your facee resembling that of that lady's brother/husband who had passed on in life...

i'm more an advocate of trying than not trying... facing instead of avoiding... i think temptations and challenges are a good test to know oneself.

 

[worrywart]

Tulipzz

I agree with you.

Posted a problem here before but it got so twisted I didnt bother with arguing with them. No time and energy to do that.

Has seen that happened to a few other thread starters as well.

Haha..

 

[watching]

Didn't quite expect my post to generate so much interest.

Hello May,
We are in some sort of open relationship, sexually. I told him whom I slept with in the past on my own initiative. I don't know if there are women who do that. When he looks at porn, and I "catch" him doing that, he isn't ashamed. It's actually very simple, he ogles at girls because I "allowed" the behavior to go that far.

I presented my arguments versus his arguments, I expected both our pleas to be questioned simultaneously, instead of going back and forth in the thread. The inclination to analyzing this to death....has to do with my background and his background, it's in our profession.

I steer him because I know I can, I already possess him from his mother (all the men here are going to have a bash on me for this) but this has more to do with his mother's wrong-doings than the usual MIL versus DIL power struggle. Do I really want to possess him....I don't think so but I don't want to share him with many people. My aggressive opinions and strong posturing are innate, the women in my family are like that, sometimes I appear masculine despite my deceiving exterior.

Whether he is a flirt? A straight forward no, he's too square to be one, not the dandy type. I do trust him, I really do. He said he told me about the PRC because this was something out of the blue that happened. Never before has he hosted someone from China. About him being disgruntled, it has to do more with my subtle veiled threat, how I initially manipulated him to think I would really go out with others. I wouldn't have but I made sure he knew I could. Sometimes, I do think if he's disgruntled because he never had his share of fun, I sort had mine.

This occurrence was incidental and it made us combative.

Powder,
The person who shares a room with S.O. in his office is of the opposite gender. They talk, laugh, just yesterday, she made him cheesecake. S.O. was talking about some sort of cheesecake he had somewhere but couldn't find for the longest time, so she made him some. I am okay with that, so to me, it's not always because if it's a woman, I'd block every contact on his behalf.

 

[powder]

okie, i guess u also sized the colleague up to be harmless..

as initially said i think it's fine and good u did wat u did in that particular case. i wasn't disputing it cos there are some temptations u avoid by not even being there in the first place.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Watching, I just feel that even if you have valid concerns about your SO and/or the PRC lady, your handling of the matter is bad. For example, the use of threat. Threats are used more out of a desire to possess or control, instead of out of love. I am not saying that you don't love your husband but in this particular instance it's more like you are guiding your possession.

 

[kittenpie]

watching,

how do you get your man to agree to having an open relationship where you have the lion's share of fun, but not so much fun for him?

i really want to know, because i am a woman too. if there are women who are so capable that they have men wrapped around their little fingers, i think it is worth learning a thing or two from them.

regarding porn ... he is not and he does not need to be ashamed to be 'caught' watching porn. everyone of us is born as sexual beings with sexual needs that should be met in legitimate ways. there is nothing to be ashamed of.

but how do his roving eyes make you feel? my HB, despite all his many flaws, never oggled at girls in my presense. if he did, i would feel slighted. here he is, with a beautiful woman (me) at his side. how dare he look elsewhere lustfully? if his roving eyes do not make you feel good, would you want to discuss this with him?

you are the dominatrix in the relationship. seriously, how does it feel to be one? since you are in some sort of an open relationship, do you still engage in intimate relationships with other men where you could role-play in other characters. for example, with another guy x you play the subservient role? in order to balance out the dominant with the subservient? or is it in your nature to enjoy being the dominant one, all the time? are you with him primarily because you can 'possess' him and exercise your love for being dominant to the fullest?

regarding your SO, im just wondering aloud here ... have you underestimated him? does he have an alter ego or whole stream of inner thoughts or another persona that exist, just that you are not aware of? i am always very careful about underestimating people, because underestimated people can surprise in the nastiest ways.

are you in the legal profession?


anyway, im asking all these many questions because im a very curious person and i like to find out how different people lead their lives. i like to hear different perspectives, that is why i hang out in this forum asking all types of people different questions. im not judging you with whatever info you revealed of yourself here.

 

[cococherry]

May,

Curious and Lost is just a thin line diff.

 

[kittenpie]

Choco,

if you are insinuating that im lost, and suggesting that you know better, perhaps you would like to enlighten me on each of the question that i posed to Watching.

dont be so presumptuous when you have no right to be.

or let me see ...

you are a dominatrix yourself and you have the insider experience of being one?

then share with us here, won't you?

 

[cococherry]

May,

Need right to be presumptuous on a forum?

Are you always that sensitive?

 

[watching]

May,

You have an inquisitive, analytical mind. You gain more satisfaction from some insights; with your tender approach to the thread starter here than to feed on proving you point. I have yet to find a posting from you that when you're in dispute, you go around to tally for support.

I started this thread because I wanted to blabber a bit; sometimes providing too much information that confused the mind. In the thread you could see me fighting off some feisty characters whose words pack a mean punch. Frankly, I was just mildly irked about the date, although I came across as a bit emotional. My S.O. was the one who was hyped out by the issue, wanting to discussed about the it until the wee hours in the morning, so I came here. There is a need to segregate the contents of my comments, differentiate when I am actually telling the truth, when I am just blabbering.

You overestimated me May. Dominatrix is too strong a word. I chuckled at the word, sounds like some kind of female superhero action figure wearing a pointy bra or I am indulging in sm (not simpleman but sadomasochism). I suppose I am lucky to get my ways with S.O. My other fake relationships lacked depth. I can't tell you if I was the dominatrix because the relationships were shallow to begin with. There is no pattern.

You are amazed at how I got to steer S.O. by the following:
1) I am not on par with his achievements in life.
2) Despite his academic achievements, how could he be steered by someone lesser in education level?
3) He could be his own man in running a business during adolescence, while coming to me for my thoughts during adulthood?

S.O. comes to me for many things because he takes my feelings into consideration and values my opinion. He has no interest in sociology, he'd never come to this kind of forums. It makes it really easy for me to convince him how people interact and how people think. I don't have a manual on how to pin anyone under my thumb. If there is such a manual, I'd like to get my hands on it. It's not that I know which exact buttons to push to get S.O. wrapped around my fingers. I do it instinctively and make up things along the way.

I mentioned somewhere the tables have turned on me, he is paving the way to have more say. He is bringing the bigger bacon home, perhaps this made him feel he is the bigger man. He is bursting into a real adult who need less affirmation from me.

A label perhaps could provide a guide to what kind of relationship I have but I do not fit nicely into the categories motherly girlfriend nor dominatrix. I am still in this relationship, figuring out what we are to each other as the relationship keeps evolving. Have I underestimated him? Maybe I did but I'd like to think I know him thoroughly.

You misread, I had my share of "fun" before I was with S.O. I do not like it when his eyes roams to the point of ogling, the tantalizing images of hotties on the streets stimulate his sexual urge ... isn't it sexual peak for men at 25-30 years old? I am waiting for his to subside, for him not to act this horny. I cannot match his sexual drive.

I am not in the legal profession. What made you think so?

 

[miloice]

hi watching, mens' sexual urges lasts beyond his aging health conditions. Even at 90, he would still be checking out the cute babes.

 

[kittenpie]

Chocolatte,

Need right to be presumptuous on a forum?
=================================================

so, under the cloak of anonymity you feel it is fine to smear digital one-liner vomit on forum sites?

i see.... to each her own, i guess.

for myself, at a minimal i try to ensure that what i write is meaningful, either for myself or for the reader/ recipient of the message. or i try to write something edifying or insightful, or funny to amuse the reader.

just because you do not need 'rights' to write something on a forum, you deem it fine to spew nonsense here and there?

then you belong to the category of people who litter when no one is looking.

i hope your kids dont turn out like you.

 

[kittenpie]

watching,

S.O. comes to me for many things because he takes my feelings into consideration and values my opinion.

================================================

i think this sweetly summarises everything:

He loves you.

 

[sgbabydoll]

"I mentioned somewhere the tables have turned on me, he is paving the way to have more say. He is bringing the bigger bacon home, perhaps this made him feel he is the bigger man. He is bursting into a real adult who need less affirmation from me."

Yes, the dynamics between two persons are always changing. I supposed you feel unsettling for the his unpredictability when you try to steer or influence him on certain decisions, like the dinner with that lady colleague from PRC.

So, what's your assessment of him now that he is not the same?

 

[watching]

Doll,
That's a tough question. I find it difficult to have an eagle eye view of my own relationship while I am still in it as opposed to someone else's. You know those leather flaps that horses wear called blinkers, to prevent them from seeing sideways? I maybe wearing them. I am on the turning point of my relationship to see clearly, dynamics are changing, as you correctly pointed out yourself.

Is there a power struggle between the two of us? There isn't for my part because I am not grabbing on for dear life.

How would you feel if you were me?

 

[cuclainne]

did you size up the colleague to be harmless based on the fact that she is local, not PRC?

i have photos of my family in my phone and i'm very happy to show them to people, if they asked.

 

[watching]

Cuclainne,
My S.O. likes the starlet looking types, he is a bit shallow when it comes to looks. Pretty face with elephant thighs? No! Voluptuous figure but face full of craters? No! I am not as good looking as I used to be, gained some weight but our relationship started from my face to friendship. He wouldn't have cast a look at me if my looks didn't appeal to him.

The female colleague who I sized up to be of no harm, well...she's kinda ugly. (He showed me her photo on Intranet. Mind, I didn't ask.) He tells of how her blouse crawls up because her belly is too big and her navel shows, he tells me with a repugnant face. Furthermore, she's too liberal for his liking. Whether I deemed her "harmless" because she's local? I deemed her harmless a long time ago, before the China lady came to the picture. So can't compare.

 

[miloice]

well... you see the China lady as a threat and not so for the colleague. After all the talk about how much trust you have in the relationship, blah blah blah... colleague offering dinners or cake... It actually points to insecurity.

What if his colleague is hotter than the cakes she bake for him?

 

[powder]

Posted on Friday, July 30, 2010 - 7:20 pm:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
okie, i guess u also sized the colleague up to be harmless..

 

[cuclainne]

be wary of relationships that are based <u>solely</u> on looks cos looks do not last forever ...

 

[miloice]

I'm sure its not solely on appearance only. But, the threat she feels has more to do with her insecurity after the comparisons she did with herself.

 

[watching]

Milo,
Cuclainne was asking if I was sizing up the colleague in S.O.'s room to be harmless based on the fact that she is local, not PRC? Not if I was sizing up the China lady to be harmful because I deemed her a husband snatcher.

"What if his colleague is hotter than the cakes she bake for him?", you've got a catchy tune going there...

"After all the talk about ......, blah blah blah......". Unlike you I cannot muster so much energy to thump, to be feisty in order to defend myself. I do not feed on triumph. I mentioned early on at times you seem to charge like a raging bull. I am no match for you.

Cuclainne,
He wooed me for my face, as time passed, we became best friends, soul mates in love albeit dynamics are changing.

 

[miloice]

call me a bull or whatever. What's there to match? I'm not bullying you or anything.

You went a very big round to defend yourself only to point back to your insecurity over your physical.

 

[miloice]

Perhaps, I can try putting it another way. How would I feel if my wife selective restrict my social life i.e. I can only socialize with women that she thinks I would not be sexually attracted to?

How would I feel about it?

And if your husband forbids you and feel threatened for you to socialize with men that are better looking and/or more successful than him career-wise. Would you like it? How would you feel about your husband's restrictions?

 

[watching]

Milo,
There is a Barbie doll looking woman at his office. Perky high ass, sufficient boobies to create a cleavage, she oozes sexuality all over. All the men go gaga over her. There was this one time when the company held a friendly squash tournament, Barbie and S.O. were paired together as a team. He was delirious (I know because he told me). Some other hot blooded male colleague with raging hormones insisted to be paired with her, he pulled some strings to change the pairing. S.O. was disappointed no doubt, I laughed. I did not feel threatened when I heard he could play with Barbie. There will be more and more beauties in the future with whom I cannot compete. I `let` him watch pretty things as if he is a spectator till he ogles. I don´t just restrain, I size up who and what, if possible. If not, I just let it be.

I didn´t say this...call us childish, whatever, when he agreed to not go on that dinner date with the China lady, he made a pact with me. I was wearing a blouse, where one can peak into my cleavage, the day when we were fighting over the issue of the China lady date. S.O. liked the blouse at the store when I was contemplating on buying. He restrained me from wearing the peak a boo blouse in the future, saying it draws too much unwanted attention. While sex is not on my mind the whole time, it is on his.

 

[miloice]

This is my advise : be honest with your feelings with your partner. If you are jealous and insecure, be it generically or just this specific incident. Tell him straight rather than a long analysis and character assassination of the china woman.

Probably he would be more understanding of your concerns without blowing it to threats. You tend to over analyze at times. A relationship is not some transaction where you trade conditions over things like this

 

[sgbabydoll]

I agree with Milo in his above post.

Basically, I don't steer my bf. I believe it is his responsibility to conduct himself as a bf. If I have to carve out boundaries for him, then he isn't the man I will want to be with for long-term basis. I believe he knows that he will be dropped if I find him unsuitable as a long-term partner.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Watching

You have said that he is OK with you steering him behind and he used to be OK with that in almost everything. Now that he wants less or no steering in some areas, would you be prepared to be less steering?

 

[watching]

Doll,
I thought I was "off the hook"....you guys keep coming back here.......

I see him imitating my behaviour.....sigh. I reckon I am okay with less steering but I feel he makes less wise decisions, be it something trivial. Have to let him make some "less wise" decisions to feel the pinch. Sorry my mind is not delving hard into this topic anymore.

 

[hweebs]

watching,

You are off the hook once you stop replying and reading this thread. It's up to you, you know

 

[miloice]

Have a good weekend. Cheers.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Hey, Watching, relax. We don't have to discuss this if you don't wish to. Anyway, you should relax too on him. You can't live his life for him. His life, his decisions, he makes.

 

[miloice]

Actually couples influence each other subtly in many ways. I recalled how my ex used to be so confrontal and particular about every minor things. She took pride in it as being 'considerate' and 'wise' in her 'thorough' thinking. And it actually made me become more confrontal and sensitive as well.

Friends and family all noticed it. And it was so stressful for me. After break up, it was a great relieve. I realize I need to be someone less confrontal. I'm more comfortable this way. Probably its just me. Some couples probably like it challenging with constant exchanges to simulate their minds.

 

[watching]

Doll,
Sorry, I didn't mean to be curt in my reply.

Milo,
Sounds kinda like us. Don't wish to reign over him, it'll bite me in the ass.

 

[sgbabydoll]

"Actually couples influence each other subtly in many ways."

That's so true! I have become more vulgar hahaha

 

[watching]

Hweebs,
When people ask me nicely, I'm inclined to give them answers although this time around, I was tired of being "interviewed". I prefer others to do the talking, telling me about similar experiences.

Milo,
We got off the wrong foot. Please don't take this the wrong way, I initially said you may be projecting your past ordeals into mine because I read in some other thread about your ex-girlfriend.

Were you both just too naive/'something else' to realize what the issue was about during that time? Anything you did to prevent it from escalating? My S.O. sometimes turn aggressive abruptly at the slightest thing I say, I've never been that way, so aggressive in words. He surpassed me.

 

[miloice]

hi watching,

"My S.O. sometimes turn aggressive abruptly at the slightest thing I say"...
could be a sign of accumulated frustrations. i.e. tip of the ice berg. Break away from that cycle. As mentioned earlier... Take steps backwards and stop analyzing more than its required. Our feelings can be really simple to a point of childlike unlike our thoughts.

Took me the longest time to finally realize and accept that fact. Emotions are hard to let go. We struggled till it was suffocating. For me, I simply find someone that is compatible with me. Someone I would give a simple hug whole heartedly that would matter more than a million words and thousand reasons. That's what I really cherish.

You might be thinking that he surpassed you. But, have you pondered if your words have hurt him each time? He might not openly nor intentionally resent you at all, but his accumulated anger could be a sign of the frustrations that he is building within. Don't under-estimate the hurt words can cause. Sharp viper mouths. A talent more predominant in women. A man's pride is actually very vulnerable. Guys just hide their hurt till a point of no return.

 

[miloice]

just want to share a humorous video about the diff between a man's and woman's brain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ9L9YBJkk8&amp;feature=fvw

 

[sgbabydoll]

Watching, quite similar to Milo I simply gave up on the men whom I had to steer. I wanted to live for myself, not for a relationship nor one man.