Gambling husband

[brilliantsg]

After 3 years of marriage, I am very upset and tired. My husband lied to me about gambling. He said he do not have enough of money for wedding and house renovation then ask me to pay 1st. Then ask me lend him money for his gambling debts. After 2.5 years later of marriage, I discover he told his mum he needed $30K for wedding and house renovation. He took money from his mum on and off...Until this year, I knew the truth, he was lied to his mum that he need the money for wedding and renovation. Total he has taken $200k from his mum. His mum and brother told me...His family was very cold to me until this year when they knew the truth that all money my husband took is not for me. His brother and mother told me before his father died, his father said he has left a lump sum of money for him to marry.

We had a lot of quarrels and I told him if he change I will stay with him but now...he still gamble...still want to borrow money from me...but I do not have any money to lend him...
Now he just vents anger on him as and when he likes. I have done my best as a wife...i even lend a lot of money to pay his debt but he still vent his anger on me...he told me he want to find his female friend who is in oversea now. He said to me he married me because his female friend reject him...I am very hurt. If it is like that he should not have married me...now we have a daughter...I tried to get him see a family counselor with me, but after a few times, he refused to see. He said no money. But he has money to gamble and buy things...no money to see family counselor...Is he using me? Marry me for his father money to gamble? Can anyone advice me...thks

i think you must be ended ! the man with real love can be do evrything, and he couldn't play any gambling or change his life for any better. Gambling like additive substances, very hard to give it up

 

[brilliantsg]

After 3 years of marriage, I am very upset and tired. My husband lied to me about gambling. He said he do not have enough of money for wedding and house renovation then ask me to pay 1st. Then ask me lend him money for his gambling debts. After 2.5 years later of marriage, I discover he told his mum he needed $30K for wedding and house renovation. He took money from his mum on and off...Until this year, I knew the truth, he was lied to his mum that he need the money for wedding and renovation. Total he has taken $200k from his mum. His mum and brother told me...His family was very cold to me until this year when they knew the truth that all money my husband took is not for me. His brother and mother told me before his father died, his father said he has left a lump sum of money for him to marry.

We had a lot of quarrels and I told him if he change I will stay with him but now...he still gamble...still want to borrow money from me...but I do not have any money to lend him...
Now he just vents anger on him as and when he likes. I have done my best as a wife...i even lend a lot of money to pay his debt but he still vent his anger on me...he told me he want to find his female friend who is in oversea now. He said to me he married me because his female friend reject him...I am very hurt. If it is like that he should not have married me...now we have a daughter...I tried to get him see a family counselor with me, but after a few times, he refused to see. He said no money. But he has money to gamble and buy things...no money to see family counselor...Is he using me? Marry me for his father money to gamble? Can anyone advice me...thks

i think you must be ended ! the man with real love can be do evrything, and he couldn't play any gambling or change his life for any better. Gambling like additive substances, very hard to give it up

 

[Stella Yap]

Hi 123,
Sorry to hear your story. My dad was a compulsive gambler when I was a young gal. He earned a lot but the money never stayed. Now I grew up and he was an old man without much money and my brothers and i had to support him till he left earth. It's tough to say if a person will ever change. I don't think we should ever wait. I once dated an alcoholic and he swore to change but he could not. When I finally broke up, I realised it was never up to me to save him. Last I heard of him was he was in IMH and his liver was working 30 percent. That was 6 years after I left him. Imagine I didn't leave, I might have died of heartbreak myself. Some people have demons only they can battle. Gambling is an addiction and mental disease. It's too complex for non-gamblers to understand. After I left my bf then, I realized I was wrong to try to change him. It taught me the biggest lesson to find someone on par with me. Someone who is equal and want the same thing together. I was always looking after my bf, financially, emotionally. When I see someone not having the same mindset as me, I left. Don't be afraid, there is nothing wrong to restart, reclaim yr life back. Even if u are alone, it's better than being lonely. Only u know best what is to be done and I hope u find the way.

 

[pwrlara1990]

find someone to talk to, and maybe have an intervention to let your other half realize the damage they are doing to the family. i think the most important is to find someone to talk to at least get it out of your system. there are various organizations and groups that can provide the kind of services you may seek in dealing with such issues,