Divorcee with kids

[Joanne Chia]

Ladies,

I recently get to know that my bf (who confessed to me) is a divorcee with kids. We have been together for a year. I know that this is not easy as it was not something that was proud of, especially to a guy. However, the moment he told me about this, I cannot take it! I agreed that he's a nice guy who always stood by my side and took good care of me when I'm sick. I know that I love him a lot. However, I'm afraid that my parents will not accept him and there will be conflicts (e.g. cannot get along with his kids, etc) next time when we married.

I'm in a dilemma now! I need your advise. Have you came across such situation? What will you do if you are in my shoes. Please help!

 

[uglydude]

Just do what you deem fits....If you feels that this is problem that you do not wants to deal with....then just leave him.....

 

[worriedsick]

Are you not happy with the fact that he is a divorcee with kids or simply a divorcee?

 

[verityff]

I think firstly u should talk to ur own parents and ask whether they could accept him if u really wanna to marry this man. If elders are conservative, try to communicate more afterall, they just want u to be happy. If they can feel the sincerety from both u and ur bf, eventually I think they will like him also. Secondly I suggest u to spend some times with his kid and start trying to be part of his and their life. If both sides ok, I think u will find ur happiness in future. Afterall, marriage isn't just about u and him only.

But before doing all these, I suggest u ask urself one more time whether u really love this man? Love one person as not only love himself alone, love him means love, accept and forgive all the things he had in the past, now and the futures u trust u both could make. If u think u hardly can get over his past, then I suggest to let him go. It won't be fair to both of u as no one wants to enter an relationship with uncertainties especially the party was hurt before. All the best!!

 

[sadman2009]

In one sentence,
Divorced with kid or kids is nothing wrong... And should not stop you from marrying him....
You should be more concern about 'is he a good man', 'do you love him?', 'is he the man with good qualities?'
You know, we all experience or have made mistakes in our live. And in this forum, mistakes in marriage, so understanding is important and knowing what is important to you ...
If you think you will be happy with him, or he is the man you want .... Then why stop....
You know, for a man with kids, if you accept him, he will appreciate it ... And appreciate you more than any other man ....

 

[hitori]

Listen to your heart. If it tells u no, you cannot accept him with kids, just leave. Do not listen to other people comments, they are just noise preventing you from making decision. Do not force yourself, the issue will eat into you eventually. Time & effort will be wasted for both.

 

[uglydude]

He can be the nicest guy on earth...but if the kids is something u cannot accept better move on with ur life now and not delay each other time....and taking one year to find out he is a divorcee with kids show that he is out to cheat ur feelings rite from the start...His marital status and whether he has kids should be made known rite from the very start...