Disillusions

[steo11]

Just wanted an outlet to share my thoughts and feelings....
Met my ex last year and got together for 2 months. He suddenly said hard to continue and kept me on read.. .
Then over the course of the year. .I met a few more guys....
One which we met regularly and lied that he went overseas with a buddy but ended up was a girl..
Then some are actually married with kids. .

Now i just found out the latest guy i met already had a gf and relationship was ard 4-5yrs....

Just feel so jaded and really lost my trust in guys.... Wondering if i really dont have the luck to meet a decent man that i would have chemisty with

 

[rip_curl]

People will not appreciate this platform until we really need it. Same as what I am going thru now. Really appreciate all the mental support by some of the folks here to keep my sanity in check. Though I am potential starting my grieve but I think my saga made me want to share my experiences even more to help ppl out as much as I am sad and cried till my eyes are so damn swollen. (Ok I get it, I shd act like a man but am human after all.)

Have you ever reflected on why such occurrence ? A few guys in a year means you are not knowing individual enough, Sometimes you cannot be too gullible and believe everything the guy says especially when its a new found friendship. Take some time to know that person before jumping into a relationship.

 

[steo11]

People will not appreciate this platform until we really need it. Same as what I am going thru now. Really appreciate all the mental support by some of the folks here to keep my sanity in check. Though I am potential starting my grieve but I think my saga made me want to share my experiences even more to help ppl out as much as I am sad and cried till my eyes are so damn swollen. (Ok I get it, I shd act like a man but am human after all.)

Have you ever reflected on why such occurrence ? A few guys in a year means you are not knowing individual enough, Sometimes you cannot be too gullible and believe everything the guy says especially when its a new found friendship. Take some time to know that person before jumping into a relationship.

Didnt get into a relationship with them. Lesson learnt after my ex. And thats y i also check ard. But after meeting so many who lied... I think i find it hard to trust guys now....

 

[rip_curl]

The fact that you managed to find out abt them before going into a relationship is already good enough. There are still many good guys around just that the time is not right yet. Keep looking and have faith. If not, recently because of what I am going thru I came to know there are good agencies thru SDU that screened thru folks who are interested. You might want to give it a try. Know more ppl is better also. Treat it as networking

 

[Eggwhite]

TS...take it easy.. are you looking for guy friend or bf ?

If is just a guy friend and being new r/s.. dnt put so hard on yourself. Is good that you found out earlier. Is just a new and lost friend thats all.

Takes time to know someone well n 2 hands to clap in a growing r/s

Lastly..Friendship has no exclusivity.

 

[xxdaggerxx]

go for the quite/shy guys, they are usually allot more loyal.

 

[rip_curl]

most importantly be open minded...you probably already have an existing perception of what kind of guy you prefer...humorous, good looking etc so all along quiet guys might not appeal to you but you never know. Meet more ppl and let fate decide...also if you expect so much about others, be prepared to be judged by others too. Reflect on yourself as well..Such is life right...its not always the case where you are the person who can demand.

 

[steo11]

Well... I dont harbour expectations... Was initially meeting the guy as a friend and the way he protrayed like a single guy. Then he made advances and went beyond friend zone.

Met a few guys over a year because i found out about the fake front.
I dont need someone very good looking or rich. Just decent one whom i can communicate well. Guess those guys who do are usually attached or very experienced.

 

[rip_curl]

I dont need someone very good looking or rich. Just decent one whom i can communicate well. Guess those guys who do are usually attached or very experienced.

Well..now as myself and a few of the ppl here have personally gone thru or you have read enough on this forum, you will realize life works in a different way. Sometimes ppl just dont treasure what they have even if they have the best and perfect bf/husband/gf/wife. As the saying goes: "treasure what you have and dont start to regret only after you lose it"

Even good guys get ditched. So all is not lost but just depend on how receptive you are.

 

[rip_curl]

“Grass is always greener on the other side until you are there”

 

[steo11]

Yap... I will still hold hope but with my eyes wide open and heart guarded and dont take things too seriously. These r just not appreciated.

 

[Eggwhite]

Good luck!!

 

[rip_curl]

Yap... I will still hold hope but with my eyes wide open and heart guarded and dont take things too seriously. These r just not appreciated.

And not just that . If you truly find someone in future,be sure to appreciate and don’t take things for granted. Things don’t come easy and if ever, take a step back and remind yourself how far you both have come to achieve this. Dont listen to those people who think they know a lot to affect your relationship. Can be your bffs etc. Be rational. Good luck

 

[steo11]

And not just that . If you truly find someone in future,be sure to appreciate and don’t take things for granted. Things don’t come easy and if ever, take a step back and remind yourself how far you both have come to achieve this. Dont listen to those people who think they know a lot to affect your relationship. Can be your bffs etc. Be rational. Good luck

I always feel that if i decide to walk together with a person, it will definitely be thru thick n thin. Traditional mindset.. But mayb too traditional

 

[Eggwhite]

Yeah.. to walk together till hair grow white..
Not everyone thinks the same now..


We need to upgrade to new firmware ...

 

[rip_curl]

I always feel that if i decide to walk together with a person, it will definitely be thru thick n thin. Traditional mindset.. But mayb too traditional

Don't say it so early. I used to think my wife would to. People change

 

[newproject]

Don't say it so early. I used to think my wife would to. People change

Yeah man.

 

[steo11]

Depends on individual values...

Just like i really cant understand why a guy would lie when he looks so happy in the photos with his 5-8 yrs gf.

 

[rip_curl]

Depends on individual values...

Just like i really cant understand why a guy would lie when he looks so happy in the photos with his 5-8 yrs gf.

Human is complicated to begin with.

 

[Eggwhite]

Photo will tend to show happy faces.... and to show other pple...

if not..just pressed delete.

 

[rip_curl]

Photo will tend to show happy faces.... and to show other pple...

if not..just pressed delete.

Social media as such. Most people will not post undesirable photos right. I was a social media freak but now I hate it. When things fall apart, when you look back at those photos it just make you like a laughing stock

 

[steo11]

Social media as such. Most people will not post undesirable photos right. I was a social media freak but now I hate it. When things fall apart, when you look back at those photos it just make you like a laughing stock

Even blogging and sharing about their travel adventures....

 

[rip_curl]

Even blogging and sharing about their travel adventures....

There might be alot of sad stories behind those blissed photos. It might be one sided or both are trying hard to savage. I chose to believe the latter

 

[steo11]

Haha i think they are happy but he just trying to create his own excitement by having multiple identities....the girl looks very innocent.

 

[rip_curl]

Haha i think they are happy but he just trying to create his own excitement by having multiple identities....the girl looks very innocent.

dont quite get it to be honest

 

[steo11]

He told me he was trying to create a separate identity to find someone who understand him without knowing his background....bullsh*t lah... He went beyond friend zone lor. .

 

[rip_curl]

He told me he was trying to create a separate identity to find someone who understand him without knowing his background....bullsh*t lah... He went beyond friend zone lor. .

ok now I vaguely know what you meant. he is just trying his luck to "eat outside"

 

[steo11]

ok now I vaguely know what you meant. he is just trying his luck to "eat outside"

But why ah? Very curious to understand the mentality esp when ppl r in good relationships.

 

[rip_curl]

But why ah? Very curious to understand the mentality esp when ppl r in good relationships.

If alot of ppl know they will not know. Like me... I am still clueless why my wife does that.

 

[rip_curl]

But why ah? Very curious to understand the mentality esp when ppl r in good relationships.

If alot of ppl know they will not know. Like me... I am still clueless why my wife does that.

If alot of ppl know they will not know. Like me... I am still clueless why my wife does that.

I meant to say if alot of ppl here know, there will not be so many sad souls

 

[Eggwhite]

The ever changing society tend to led relationship to flip flop.

Think abt it.. increased expectation.. increased in temptation.....unbalance work life etc. tend to influence a person whether you are single or married. Is natural for a person to want the best.. but how much level a person wants all those depends on individual believes and values to resist it to a level. If you are in a relationship..such as marriage..can or will your spouse keep pace....led ahead ... or fall behind.
Both are you on the path together..

do u think your current spouse is same pace.. ahead..or fallen behind.