Hi, I am coming to my wits end and hence I am going to write here to get some wisdom.
I am in my 30s and my wife to be is 3 years older than me. Like all couples, we started well and in less than one year of dating, we had the intention to marry in 2014. Things changed since the mid of this year. We quarrel very often and never seem to be on the same boat having common goals. After many fights and serious tots, we both felt we couldn't work it out and decided to call it quits.
Alas, seems like the intervention of fate, we realised she was pregnant one week after our break-out. We talked over it and decided to work out our differences and give each other a chance. Planning for the wedding started. In the process, we had endless disagreements again, resulted in us changing our mind and deciding to abort. On the day of abortion, we both cried and couldn't bear to, and for the sake of the baby, we again decided to try to work out again.
The above caused both of us many unnecessary stress, such as re-arranging with hotel and to be answerable to our parents. We brought it upon ourselves.
We are having our ROM and wedding in 2 months time. Everything is booked and secured and the baby is well taken care of with regular check ups with our gynae.
Throughout the wedding and baby planning, I was the one who took charge, I took out extra jobs as well and I admit it is not easy to juggle so many things at one go. I understand that she is tired as she is pregnant and she can be sleeping the whole day.
I have my aspiration. Such as having a flat of our own. She is contented with staying with my in-laws. This episode make me realised that she has close to zero savings. I am paying everything. I used to feel comfortable, but right now, I scrimped and I save as much as possible, for our future. I suggested a joint savings for our baby's future, she said we could wait. I had the sense of urgency to plan for our family, she does not, saying I am impatient and we should cross the bridge when we come to it.
I am starting to get really fearful. Currently, I couldn't be myself when I am with her. She will disagree with my view or tots of almost everything. It made me stop expressing myself. To be very honest, I do not see our future being there. I am such a failure.
I am a local and a graduate and I cannot believe my education had honed me with views and opinions about family planning that are all wrong in her view. Fyi, she is a work permit holder and a non English speaker. She reasoned her opposing views to me me with her life experience.
I am at my wits end now and coming to depression, and I am on the verge of seeing a doc to get medication. I have been crying myself to sleep for months. Please give me some wisdom please..
I am in my 30s and my wife to be is 3 years older than me. Like all couples, we started well and in less than one year of dating, we had the intention to marry in 2014. Things changed since the mid of this year. We quarrel very often and never seem to be on the same boat having common goals. After many fights and serious tots, we both felt we couldn't work it out and decided to call it quits.
Alas, seems like the intervention of fate, we realised she was pregnant one week after our break-out. We talked over it and decided to work out our differences and give each other a chance. Planning for the wedding started. In the process, we had endless disagreements again, resulted in us changing our mind and deciding to abort. On the day of abortion, we both cried and couldn't bear to, and for the sake of the baby, we again decided to try to work out again.
The above caused both of us many unnecessary stress, such as re-arranging with hotel and to be answerable to our parents. We brought it upon ourselves.
We are having our ROM and wedding in 2 months time. Everything is booked and secured and the baby is well taken care of with regular check ups with our gynae.
Throughout the wedding and baby planning, I was the one who took charge, I took out extra jobs as well and I admit it is not easy to juggle so many things at one go. I understand that she is tired as she is pregnant and she can be sleeping the whole day.
I have my aspiration. Such as having a flat of our own. She is contented with staying with my in-laws. This episode make me realised that she has close to zero savings. I am paying everything. I used to feel comfortable, but right now, I scrimped and I save as much as possible, for our future. I suggested a joint savings for our baby's future, she said we could wait. I had the sense of urgency to plan for our family, she does not, saying I am impatient and we should cross the bridge when we come to it.
I am starting to get really fearful. Currently, I couldn't be myself when I am with her. She will disagree with my view or tots of almost everything. It made me stop expressing myself. To be very honest, I do not see our future being there. I am such a failure.
I am a local and a graduate and I cannot believe my education had honed me with views and opinions about family planning that are all wrong in her view. Fyi, she is a work permit holder and a non English speaker. She reasoned her opposing views to me me with her life experience.
I am at my wits end now and coming to depression, and I am on the verge of seeing a doc to get medication. I have been crying myself to sleep for months. Please give me some wisdom please..