Christian Brides

hi all, thanks for ur replies to my questions.
i took my FMIL to the banquet venue today and she was so angry and had a lot of complaints. she said the place too far and then after that criticised the dishes and all. she now wants us to forfeit the deposit and change venue.
she first having objections to e church wedding, then after that says we can have church wedding but we must pray to her idols in her house on the AD, and now this one....really feel very dejected and discouraged.
 


Hi gals,

Here are my wedding invites. Sorry lighting not very good. My dinner invites is the dark purple and gold one, cover at top left and the inside opened out at the bottom. The light purple and white one is my church invite (square card size, front at top centre, back at top right). My mum designed them for me.
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Hi Erica,

How does your FH feel then? No matter what, let him settle things with his mum, don't ever let it become you against his mum. Both of you should calmly decide whether should you change venue (consider the finances, is it really inconvenient, should you just let your FMIL have her way to pacify her, etc) and if decided no, then make sure your FH is the one to insist on it being NO to his mum.

Pray about it and take care.
 
hihi ggjj,

I think dun worry abt asking ur frens.. Actually amongst ur frens, if u know them well enough, some maybe actually keen to do shots for u too.. Some may want to build up their portfolio as free-lance photographers, poly/Uni students especially

I figure if they do use Digital, u can always ask them to help, costs them nothing, except for electricity to charge their batteries. They can pass u the soft-copies & the rest is up to ur disgression

i had totally forgotten tt u engaged Kuang. U might want some others to take those posed shots, have had a fren who engaged Kuang & he's quite against posed shots. But posed shots are impt to the older generation, like 'taking attendance'!!

hi Ashley,

No tablecloth & skirting for the buffet set-up too??? I think the caterer may be kind of unwilling, as far as I'm concern. It's the most basic to have tt & to loan another set.

I had 2 sets of table-cloths & skirtings fr mine & they provided, no questions asked.. Think u shd push hard for them to be provided. Otherwise u might want to have to provide ur own.. Can always go Arab street to get really cheap organza or chiffon, 2 layers shd be gd enough to conceal the legs of the tables

For the chairs, even if there aren't going to be seat covers, so long as u jazz it up enough with ribbons & flowers, shd be pretty enough yah?

heheh, ur FH complains abt u being hooked to the forum huh? Same here, he was nagging then & still is! But i always win! Reminding him tt i'm building up my portfolio here.. heheh

hihi Ericia,

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PUSH (Pray until sthg happens).. Sometimes the older generation just want to have some opinions for the sake of making opinions. Honestly, get ur FH to step into this matter, it's his mum u're dealing with. Not really nice as a FDIL tt u 'tell' her what to do

Talk to ur Pastor on how to get pass the rituals of the idols..
 
hi gals,
long time no come in... and as usual the thread flew.
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carelinwen : i love your invites. your mum did them very nicely.

for songs...
my processional was Canon In D (dunno which version)
worship was I Love to be in Your presence, there is none like You, Deeper in Love, How Could I Live
recessional was Trumpet Aire (i really not sure. i forgot after susanna played a few and i decided)
special item was This Is The Day
 
hi ashley,
yup.. actually my songs are recommended by my worship leader.. he appointed the team members and shortlisted the songs.. cos he should be comfortable.. i also got one chinese song.. pi chi xiang ai for my special item.. it is very meaningful cos it is abt John chp 4..

hi ericia,
sorry to hear that.. but with prayers, the situation will turn around.. pls press on with ur prayers.. will look forward to hear from ur testimony..

hi mehmeh,
i will be getting friends to take the morning activities.. but what abt the reception and dinner.. dont they need to eat and enjoy too.. did u get a friend to take photos during ur banquet.. actually we are also against posed shots.. will be announcing during the banquet that we will not be taking table to table photos.. haha

u seriously getting into wedding planning huh?
 
hihi Carelinwen,

Those r lovely invites.. and i think there's tt special touch, coz it was ur mum who had designed it. So finally how much did it cost u to print with Axxa?

hihi ggjj,

I'm just abt to email my reply to u... Hang in there yah?
I didn't ask any frens to take photos during the banquet, some did so on their own accord. But they focused mainly on the huge grp of NUS frens who were amongst the guests & of coz my HB & myself, but it didn't bother us, rather refreshing to see fr their angle

I figure, kinda huh? heheh
 
Carelinwen,
Ur mum is really artistic! The flowers are drawn really well and make the invites look very sweet and unique. U girls really have great ideas - motivate me to DIY some parts myself too!

Mehmeh,
Yes u shd go into wedding planner. Cos u're the most experienced and "on" one here!

Ggjj,
We're getting a gd fren to do the table shots as well. I think it shd not be a problem cos as long as they have a fairly decent digital SLR and have experience in shooting photos, the table shots will come out well! Perhaps u could think of any relatives/friends who are interested in photography, cos they would usually be more than willing to help! Just give them an AP as a love gift for their help ;)

Ericia,
Don't be discouraged k? Stay strong and pray hard! Trust tt God will work wonders and move ur FMIL's heart. Agree with the other girls tt u shd ask FH to discuss the problems with her. Cos if u do it personally, she is more likely to hold it against u cos u're a DIL and not her own child... Will keep u in prayer dearie =)
 
hi mehmeh,
read ur mail already.. and had replied to u.. think i will also leave it to the friends and see what they want to take.. but will tell them to take gate crashing, cos got diff angles.. and if possible, the church ceremony, reception and set up.. just worried that they disturb kuang..

yes i think a decent cam will do.. actually my bf got a friend who is doing free lance wedding photography.. think he is a bit upset that we never get him to do our wedding.. or maybe i too sensitive.. so we are more cautious on who we ask.. dont want him to feel upset that we never get him..
 
hihi Count,

U make be blush.. Really got to praise God for the current bond i need to serve, coz i can use this period to consider how I can use my time & future work to magnify God too

hihi ggjj,

Read the email oredi.. heehee, certain stuff i wld reply. Others maybe after some discussion & pondering *hiaks*

So wld u be getting ur fren who's the free lance photographer to cover shots for u too? I think it's a gd opp to let him experiment since he wants opportunities.

Btw, does he have a website to view portfolios, can gather his contact if he's gd & affordable
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hi mehmeh,
sure.. just take ur time.. i really dont know whether i am overly kpo haha..

i think so if he is doing it foc.. i am afraid later he ask us to pay.. let my bf settle that.. he is my bf's friend.. mmm.. he is definitely affordable.. and as for whether it is good.. i want journalistic style and if i use kuang as the benchmark..............

i saw his portfolio.. actually he took pics for some of the boutiques too.. dont think he got a website.. we went to his place and view one... will try to ask for u.. but u got to wait.. cos my bf is away..
 
carelinwen, i like the white church invite. whr u get the card from? isit from a vendor or made DIY?
thanks for your advice ladies, i was already considering pushing for it myself cos my patience is really running thin and i really feel so very much to retort back at her. but to rely on my FH might be difficult also, he is not the kind to stand up for himself. he cant do anyth or oppose his mum. there was a time when i really really felt like calling this off. hope i can continue to hang on. but anyway the FMIL is looking for another venue already.
 
Hi all sisters=in=christ,

Do you invite your Malay friends to church? If yes, will they come? What special arrangements need to be made? My caterer is not halal certified. What do you suggest I cam do? Moreover, I am from a Mandarin speaking church,Of course, I can ask for an interpreter. But, certain portion will not be translated. Example, my viideo clip is in Mandarin. I am concern more about how my malay friends will feel. My boss is also a Malay. Thanks in advance.
 
Hi m&m
i'm from Mandarin speaking church as well
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& have invited some malay & indian friends to my church wedding.

what we did was that thought solemnisation & some of the songs (P&W + hymn) are in chinese, we made sure there's a english translation in the slides/powerpoint translation.

We've also asked our friend to help us translate the exhortation.

we've also made sure that any important Chinese text/programs have a translation, right to the program sheet. maybe you could tell your non-Chinese speaking friends in advance that some parts of the wedding may be in chinese, so that they'll be prepared.

hope this helps!
 
Hi m&m,
I invited Malay friends too but I made sure I got a halal caterer.

Hi mehmeh,
I ordered 200 dinner cards and 150 church cards and 350 envelopes but in the end because of how they print and cut the paper I got 266 dinner cards and 176 church cards, all for about $490 after GST. Quite cheap considering that it is custom designed, hee hee cos no need to pay my mother mah.

Hi count,
Can cheat one, flowers were scanned from a book of chinese floral drawings, but my mum had to neaten the lines and touch up spots. Then can edit the drawing by deleting/tilting/resizing etc, the wonders of graphic design softwares...

Hee the flower pic will be a theme for my church wedding, will be making my service booklet cover with that picture too.

Hi erica,
My mum DIY my invites and we got them printed commercially.
 
Hi mehmeh,

Wow, you're really serious in getting into wedding planning! That's great! I think you're really resourceful and will definitely make a great one. My fiance did ask me if I might want to consider to go into wedding planning but I'm terrible with networking. And I'm not creative with ideas, plus the fact that I've got stiff competition (like you and goober
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) but I really think it'd be fun to help out friends to destress them of the load. I've been doing the wedding all by myself cos I really need to look at everything myself.

I really regret leaving the house to my fiance. After two months, the flooring is barely done, and not done to what I've expected. Flooring is there to stay so I feel very disappointed at how it's turned out. Now, I've got to take over the house and get the contractor to do up the house as much as he can. Really fuming over my fiance's choice!

Ericia,

I feel so sorry for you. I must commend you on you being so strong after all these. If it were me, I would have threatened my bf a thousand times that I wouldn't marry him in the face of so many problems. You MIL is really a pain in the ... alright, neck (pardon me). When things don't go smoothly for me - we were on the verge of calling off the wedding. I even emailed my pastors and hotel saying that it's off - I tell myself that the course of true love (and wedding preps) never did run smooth. It makes me feel better. And perhaps, this is a way to test the strength of our relationship?

Just a month before our wedding, my fiance told me his grandparents "all of a sudden" wanted tables when they were the ones who insisted on not having a banquet at first! We had to tell them we don't have the means and time to accommodate that. Eventually, the grandfather said he'll book a separate restaurant and date for their relatives. I feel bad abt it actually becos his grandparents were teachers and they are living on pension now. They are abt 80 yrs old. A dinner would cost them alot.
 
hi m&m,

I figure if u really want ur colleagues to attend ur church wedding, u got to cater halal food. U also got to be prepared tt though u might get halal food to suit their needs, they might not go as they aren't quite encouraged to go

If u're also inviting ur colleagues to ur banquet, then u can explain to ur Malay colleagues who are invited to the banquet abt the situation with regards to church.

hi Carelinwen,

Tt's really interesting, ie they gave u more cards than what was agreed upon but still charged u based on the original amt yah?

Btw, ur mum's a genius!
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harlow ggjj,

If u use Kuang as benchmark, i think it wld certainly take a while before another one catches ur eye. Since tt guy is ur BF's fren, let ur BF gao dim tt aspect..

No worries, u def aren't overly kpo.. It's an interesting piece of news. Cld just be God-sent!

hello Ashley,

heheh, u can still help ur frens with theirs
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I prob wld start off by doing just tt too, need to build up portfolio, gather more contacts & gain more experience!

Wow, u are one brave ger. I wouldn't task my HB to take care of the renos, he doesn't have an eye for fine details or aesthetics, had better do things together. Are u pressed for time?? Pray tt ur contractor can do sthg abt the flooring to make things better...
 
hi ericia,
have u communicate ur feeling to yr fh.. why dont u take some time to fast and pray and ask for directions.. and ask God what you should do.. i got a friend who always fast and pray whenever he needs to make a major decision.. perhaps this is just a testing period..

hi m&m,
i wanted to invite my malay staff.. but they say they dont feel comfortable to attend church service.. and they cant go to my hotel cos the hotel food is not halal certified.. these are very extreme cases cos one of them is a religious teacher.. suggest u check with ur malay friends whether they are comfortable or not first.. otherwise ur hard work will come to nothing

hi carelinwen,
i think ur cards are very very affordable.. even for the printing cost.. nice invites too

hi mehmeh,
i havent tell her yet.. so dont raise ur hopes high.. in case u really tot it is like done deal.. think u need to pray abt it to know whether it is God-sent..
 
HI m&m,

I am inviting my malay colleagues to my church wedding. Initially i wanted to cater to non-halal food although my malay colleagues say it is fine as long as they dun eat. But I invited them, I feel "pai say" if I didn't cater to their food. They insist that they are only allowed to eat if the caterer is halal certified and they must see the cert. So I went in search of another caterer which is halal. And the caterer say they will put the halal cert on display during the buffet reception.

To some of my guests who are non-christians, it is their first time visit to a church wedding. They find it very refreshing to go and thus made them eager to attend. So i think they will not feel weird to attend a church wedding.
 
hihi ggjj,

Oh dun worry abt it.. I'm also pretty sure it's a done deal sort of thing. No worries, moreover i wun know if i can also commit yah?
 
hi everyone! my wedding is less than 4 mths time but i feel that the preparations are not as quick as it seems!

so far, we've only settled our BS & PS stuff, and confirmation of the hotel. but there are still lotsa of nitty gritty bits that still need to be attended to!

we've yet to come up with our guest & helpers list, roles & responsibilities of helpers, church caterer, wedding invites/printing, and probably other things which i hv missed out... moreover we wld be bz with our hse reno soon!

but FH has a veri tight work schedule, and we have not realli sat down and start getting down into the details yet. i'm getting quite apprehensive at the moment..probably this is pre-wedding jitters?
 
Dear Sisters in Christ,

HI all...just got back fr a wrking trip in China...Bejing berry nice but the air soo bad, got breakouts
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So encouraged to see all the messages...the fact that we seem to go thru the same just proves that perhaps God has allowed it for a gd reason and He is and will be watching over us.

My wed is in March and I still havent got a venue yet somehow I feel peace.

I brokedown sometime back and told my FH tat I have my dreams and they r not in line with his folks & that he needed to b on my side. So we decided to hve2 weddings. 1 for us, we plan it the way we want and another for our parents, just a chinese dinner...they can have anythg they want.Yeah...they happy, we happy except I havent decided wat we want yet...still waiting for God to guide us
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Erica, u may wan to try wat we did. BUt I nid to caution u that the praying to the idols is a NO NO, cannot compromise. I read a book on chinese customs and Christian values, 1 of the NOs is the idol bowing part.
Have u gone for Premarital counselling?
 
hi erica

i agree with ebell.. praying to the idols is a BIG NO NO.. and it will put you in a tight position going forward.. coz your IL may push for other NO NO stuff.. dun compromise.. pray for wisdom to deal with the situation and favour with your IL so that you and fh dun have to go thro that.

nevertheless, i think that its fine if you gotta pay respect to the ancestors lar.. my 2cents worth.
 
hi gals im letting go of my Ang Pao box for just S$8!!!!

and heres the link to the ANG PAO BOX:

http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLandingReg.jsp?Uc=cgaqhux.uqrhnw9&Uy=ou51ku&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0&UV=449196841115_21763764409

Measurement: 31cm x 23cm x 16cm
Special Feature: The TOP is removable which would come in handy for helpers to take out the ang-paos as compared to those w/o top types in which its usually ripped open by helpers.

Interested parties can email me at [email protected] for more details.
 
hi thanks sisters, yes i know the idols is no no. i have already told my FH , previously he was upset to have to argue with his parents again. but now he has agreed that we should not pray to idols and he has communicated that to his parents.
we have realised that to change wedding venue we will have to pay my current venue quite a bit of money hence again we argued over it and now decided to communicate to his parents we will stick to the current venue. but u know what, think his relatives and family will prob not turn up at all. i dunno why his family being so difficult over so many stuff, it may be cos they are upset with our christian conversion and they wanna find excuse to disagree with everyth in our wedding. just my feelings.
 
ebell, i do not have any hopes of having my wedding done in the way i want. i just want everyth to go on smoothly and we can have everyth done as simply as possible. but sometimes even having such low and accomodating expectations cannot even please the older folks. cant please everyone, some relatives want this and others want that, its just ridiculous sometimes.
 
Hi Nya,

think u & ur FH need to sit down & plot ur timeframe for aspects which have to be firmed up.
Sthgs which shd be done in terms of priority
1) Guest List!! (U shd start working on tt now & gather the addresses u reqire)
2) Food tasting
3) Invites printer (research, design cum layout, viewing & approving of proof, printing, collecting, addressing)
4) Church caterer
5) Florist
6) Roles & responsibilities of helpers (Work out the amt of $$$ u want to give in AP concurrently)
7) AD schedule
8) Selection of songs for the HM & banquet
9) Meeting up with ur PG & VG to highlight impt things u want captured
10) Photo-montage (if needed)
11) Scripting of Thank-You speech (if u're not inclined to impromptu ones)

Go & do ur research & narrow down before discussing with ur FH, considering u said he's very bz, then take it fr then. Avoid having to get him to go thru everything with u, too much details will bore him & can be quite inefficient, coz often than not, he wld leave things to u

Hi Ericia,

Was reading a book on wedding traditions and Christianity in a Christian bookstore earlier today. The rule of the thumb, is NO for both paying respects to idols or ancestors.

Wearing of a kua is also an issue, to avoid Kuas with dragon & phoenixes. There are other desings to choose from..

U're right, u can't please everyone & it's ur wedding, u need not please everyone. Agree it can be ridiculoust & frustrating, but before u speak to ur ILs, pray against those strongholds which are blinding them fr blessing u & adding more pressure on u & ur FH. Rally ur CG to pray for ur wedding preps too.. Got to remember, with God on our side, who can be against us!
 
thanks meh meh, but i hadnt known abt this kua thing. thanks for informing me.
ashley,the prob u facing abt the not enough tables for ur grandparents is also one of the many stuff i am facing now. now we are still trying to figure out to keep the venue for dinner or to change.
 
Erica: Then let the day that is confirmed be the makan day for ur folks, give them full say.

My 2nd day is for both mine and FH's parents. We told them they can invite anyone they want and we will give them final say for the venue and the menue. They berry happy. My 1st day goin to b somehting that will blow their minds but they ok cos they can have the 2nd day. Besides cos our 1st day goin to b v v ex, the 2nd day will make up for the ang pows to some extent.

I oso had alot of pressure fr my ILs. In fact, my MIL sorta vented her frustrations at me rather than her son. I was so mad but I just remained respectful in frnt of her b4 I lashing out at my Fh and told him to take control and settle the mess, which he did. Thank God.

My counsellor told me of a story, the ILs and their relatives all turned up at a wedding in full black to show their anger towards the bride. It was no gd. Start off the wedding well. Ask them what they want and tell them what u want( let ur man do the talking) then meet half way. I think my method q gd leh...think abt it and surrender. At one pt I was soo stressed I was having insomia and crying everyday, then I realised that I m helpless so I surrenderd all to God and things seem to be clearing up...so jia you
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Where ur PMC?

Hey gals anyone havent gone for PMC? I got v v gd recommendation.
 
hi mehmeh!
thx so much for the advice! it realli helps narrow down all the things that need to be settled soon...=)

btw i didnt know abt the dragon & pheonix kwa thingy...come to think of it, i wore a kwa with that kinda design for my PS!
 
hmm ebell, the only thing that will really please them is that we stop being christians and we hold wedding the traditional chinese way they want.
i was tempted a little to ask my FH to 'threaten' my FIL that my parents are starting to get a bit angry and offended but he says his folks are extremely 'material' and 'pride and ego' minded who will not give a damn and will continue following the own way even if they know pple are angry with them.
 
Hi Mehmeh,
Can i ask who u liaised with from Elsie's Kitchen cos i heard tt some of the sales staff can be quite impatient with potential clients? Btw, we got our church! Pastor Wee kindly agreed to solemnise the marriage for us! Very very thankful! Btw, can explain why the kua is a no-no? What kind of kuas shd we wear then? Or don't wear at all? =)

Ebell,
Recommend to me? Now looking for PMC in addition to church PMC. Much appreciated!

Ericia,
Agreed with ebell's recommendation with 2 hands up! Cos we didn't want the wedding dinner too but figured tt we'd do it out of obligation as a trade-off. In return, we have decided to do the church ceremony the way we want it and with minimal interference from the older generation. Helps keep both parties happy ;)
 
Hi Nya,

U're welcome!

Hi Count,

Praise God, i had Rev Wee as my Pastor cum solemnizer too! Phews.. I dun quite rem whom i liaised with in EK, i think it was Daniel?
Kua has the mythical creatures dragon & pheonix, we def need not be afraid of them, but we can always select other designs such as the floral embroidery instead of tt

Hi Ericia,

Press on sister!
 
Hi Count,
Wow...praise God all things were smoothed out.
So is your church wedding at PLMC? I thought you mentioned that the pastors are going for a retreat? I'm also going to book PLMC...but dunno abt the pastors...coz of all the changes! hiaz.
 
Ashlady,
When is ur AD? Well, it's really by God's grace. We were all set to change our banquet date cos all 3 PLMC pastors were on retreat during that weekend so no one could do it. Then God somehow led us to approach Pastor Wee, who is outgoing pastor. Since he would not be affiliated to any church next yr and had deep ties with PLMC, he agreed to help me and the other couple getting married on tt date! Really really wonderful! My family, FH and I were waiting for an answer for the longest time, and I felt so terrible. After all, FH's mum insisted we get married on tt date cos it was supposed to be a gd date and of all dates, the pastors had to be away! I was terribly upset at first. Very happy cos FH and I finally discovered the wonders of praying together as a couple!

Thanks Mehmeh for the advice! Think all the BTBs here see u as the big sister who is super experienced already! Heh

Exams are just round the corner and quite busy with work, so cannot pop in so often sigh =(
 
Hi count,
Oh i see...my AD is 30 Sept 06. So there'll be 2 weddings on 11 Nov at PLMC? I'm glad things turn out fine for you & your FH!
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hihi Count,

Praise God! So Pastor Wee's going to also soleminize the wedding? I love his sermons & his quirky comments.. heheh, Praise God tt i got him as my Pastor as well

So with 2 weddings on 11 Nov, are u taking the AM or PM slot? I tink whichever, u must be thanking God over & over again!
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I'm the 'big sister'? heheh, u might be surprised tt i'm not tt old lah.. hahah, but i guess coz i hang ard here often enough, i might as well offer whatever advice i can be of help

Hihi Ashlady,

U want to go to Pastor Wee too??? I think at least tt helps to firm things up, i might just want to tell SM abt this too
 
hihi MehMeh,
I'm not sure abt the pastors.. havent really discussed with WB. In any case, we havent book the church...keke. I'm so sad that our Hope pastor leaving...*sob* Was looking forward to asking him to do it for us
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Yes Mehmeh, we feel very very blessed to get PLMC! Still happy! We're taking the 2.30 slot while the other couple is taking the 11am slot. hopefully there'll be time for us to go off for our banquet cos it will be on the same day...

Ashlady,
I think u shd be able to start booking PLMC already cos it's less than 1 year. It's just tt the pastor in charge will only be confirmed next year, at least tt's what i understand. Have u tried calling Esther? =)
 
hi Ashlady,

ooh... U might want to call church office again in this case

hi Count,

U def can make it off to ur banquet in time. So long as u do not stay ard the recep area too long, esp if ur guests are going to overlap for both church & dinner, coz they prob wld want to go home & freshen up. So u got to stick to the schedule closely, and get a reliable fren to help keep track of time

Ashlady was told be the church office the previous occasion tt they can't book coz there's staff movement, my fren who's also going to get married at PLMC in July was also told to book starting next calendar year. Hope ur case wld offer a glimmer of hope!
 
Hi all gals,

How's everything? hope all things ar fine with God's grace always on us.
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MehMeh,
Remember the last time ou told me u got elsie kitchen as your caterer. Do they have good presentation? Do you have some pics ?

Was thinking of either stamford catering or elsie kitchen. Any feedback?

Count,
Praise God! Congrats! My wedding is also going to be a one day event. will share my AD schedule with u.
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hihi Ashlady,

Oh.. heheh, better firm up ur banquet location 1st & call Esther soon to book the church sanctuary. U want to ask Pastor Kay Leong to officiate cum solemnize instead, afterall WB does know him...

Hi Angelala,

Hmm, dun have any pix tt included EK's presentation. I catered for 300+ pax, so they threw in silk floral deco. If below tt, they dun do up deco.. Actually, dun worry abt the presentation, most guest dun even bother abt it. They are more interested in the food & catching up with each other..

Hmm, if u go thru the archives, sometime soon after my wedding 3rd Sept, i prob had some input on EK's food... heheh *paiseh* Maybe too much to say here
 

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