just my little 2 cents worth....Not to offend anyone (Hope no one takes offense. THis is just my opinion...and also what I tell my mum)
(1) Tradition...who comes out with traditions? Humans. It is just the practice of doing something in a particular way over "the tons of years", that it just becomes "Tradition" that pple like to follow.
(2) Let me give an example to illustrate the point. My place is currently rented out. So tenant is living there till we want to take it back. so my mother was saying, "must buy new bed when tenant leaves. Coz they say (wah, who is "they"?), if dun buy new bed, the couple sure quarrel a lot one. You see, like your uncle and aunty. They never buy new bed. So they always quarrel so much..."
Of course must get new mattress lah...hygiene mah! but not "so that you won't quarrel so much..." Where's the basis in that? "Besides, where's your faith?" (I always tell her that) "In God, right? If you always quarrel, it's because you don't have God in the centre of your lives! not because you 'never buy new bed'...If your faith is in God, HE will make all things well, for HIS will." That's what I tell her.
(3) I think one of the reasons why we are in such a dilemma is coz us Singaporean Chinese want the best of both worlds. We want to keep to our chinese customs of doing things in some ways, and at the same time, we also want to incorporate the Western ways of doing things.
The chinese groom goes to pick his bride (according to customs) and unveils the bride when he meets her. That's once lorh. The "ang moh" grooms don't even go and pick up his bride (in US or EU). THey meet straight at church / solemnization place, when she will walk down the aisle. So they will only unveil the bride when supposed to kiss. That's also only once lorh...So, it's coz we want to put the 2 together, that we have this kind of dilemma (for some).
So, at the end of the day, it's all up to what you want and what you are comfortable with. IMHO, there's no hard and fast rule to this, no right and no wrong.
Yupz, just my $0.02 worth...