Being stalked

M

meubel_123

New Member
For the past 2 months, I have been receiving anonymous phone calls. I don't have enemies so I suspect my ex-colleague is the culprit. I haven't spoken to him in a year, he e-mailed me earlier several times but I ignored him. Then, he started calling (with his number ID) Again, I chose not to answer because I do not want to be a mother hen to him anymore. After that, I got several suppressed ID calls per day on my mobile phone. It mellowed down after I picked up the phone and put the call on hold. (to waste the his effort and money) He hung up. Somehow, his loneliness started kicking in and he's been calling again. This time around I do not get the chance to pick up the phone because he hangs up before I can reach for my mobile. It's driving me nuts.


His background:

34 years old,
highly intelligent, excelled in Beta studies. Has several uni certs and a post graduate cert.
Miser.
Always plunging his thoughts elsewhere. Suffers from insomnia several years (10??). Manic depressed.
Goes to Pattaya to satisfy his sexual needs annually. Never had a girlfriend or experienced intimacy of the opposite sex. Father ditched him and his mother for another woman when he was 2, so no fatherly contact.
After watching a movie with horror/psychological genre, he looks at the mirror and he imagines himself in it.
Shunned by most people (especially women) as they find him weird and obnoxious. Low EQ. Has bad hygiene.
Experiences extreme loneliness, he is always asking if the colleagues will be around when it's their part-time day.
As much as it may sound like a cliche, he has built a very strong wall around him. He never tolerates questions pertaining his family background and his native country.


You may ask how I know some of these very personal things despite his high guard. My approachable attitude made it possible for him to tell me his stuff, in some ways, I am a little like him but whatever and however I am, he is the extreme. I was intrigued by his "unprecedented personality" so I never shunned him away like the others. He came on to me, I told him off but I remained cordial. (This was before I deemed him a stalker)



I don't want the calls to go on forever. He probably knows where I live and my social security number. I dare not offend him for fear of what he might do. He just showed his adamant-stalking. I read up on stalker-behavior, I do not want to trigger any bad emotion for there is a chance he may take this further. Any psychologists out there who might know what's going on in his head? Anybody who has been stalked before? How do I handle this?
 


are u a friend of his? if u can advise him in a friendly way, tell him u emphathize with him, and that he must be feeling lonely and disconnected. Then if u can, suggest he seek psychological help (or someone he can talk to about his loneliness). I dunno how dangerous it will be, but you can also tell him that u feel very uncomfortable about his stalking behaviour to you. Set limits on how u interact with him if you must, e.g. instead of stalking u, you will spend 5 min listening to him, e.g. everyday. If he continues his behaviour, you will not even give him 5.

hope it helps!
 
I used to have some cordial-relationship with him. I don't use the terminology "friends" so easily. Our working relationship did not go beyond talking after working hours. No, I cannot say I am friends with him now, we haven't spoken or seen each other for a long time already (about a year), neither do I think we can pick up where we left it. It was precisely my empathy /mother-hen attitude that led him feeling emotionally attached to me, as far as a colleague can take it. I simply cannot encourage 5 minute talk for I fear I'll never have peace in my mind if I have to continue doing this day-in, day-out. Besides, I have my husband to consider.

O, I forgot to mention he has been to a psychologist before and he said nothing can mend his mind and body.
 
Meubel,

You are a... American in USA?
Hmmm... you are facing a psychologist cum stalker. LOL~

He sure can multi-task. LOL~
 
.....hardly see local using the term social security number when refering to ic num.

maybe u could chg ur handphone number??
 
Meubel,

But you have a social security number. LOL~
Nationality does matter, because how you behave and react and your available 'tools' will be limited by your state culture and legal framework.

So how can it not matter, hmm?

In any case, you are meeting a fellow psychologist who has psychological problem.... Your initial response may have hurted him, hurted his pride and broken his hope... He might have seen you a person who can be trusted and helped him into normal life instinctively, but you end up 'disappointing' him.

And his initial hope to contact could become now a psycho 'revenge' of sorts. LOL~

Bad news for you... Hweebs can't help you. She's only a counsellor with a... counsellor degree. Interesting case. LOL~

A psychologist cum stalker means a walking nightmare. LOL~
 
Scope:

Okay, I am foreign (to Singapore) but I prefer not to disclose where I am from. I am using the term "social security number" but the terminology is not only available to the states to use. Let's just say, I have the tools available in the West for legal framework.


I thought he might be psycho-revenging my non-response. I don't feel I owe him emotional support after so long. He never led a normal life to begin with so I could never have helped him to normal life. I still can't figure out whether not acknowledging him is my best strategy.



Junkie:

Meeting him?? Never! I'd be putting myself on dangerous grounds, encouraging more contact. I think he wanted to hear what I was up to and re-live my experiences as his own. He lives a very isolated life.
 
Junkie

It´s not that I prefer waiting for things to happen. I am afraid to do offend him. What if I do something that triggers him to hurt me?
Yes, my husband is aware of this. He doesn´t like it anymore than I do. He finds the ex collegue really weird and my husband is always joking about when this guy is going to commit suicide. I´m at my wits end to get him not to bother me anymore.
 
Meubel,

I was thinking of laughing at Junkie's suggestion when I decide to have you replied her. LOL~

Yes. You shouldn't meet him, and you know that. Too risky.

But... It's entertaining to read those suggestions, and your case is in no hurry. I'd like to read the forumers' aid to you for fun. LOL~ Don't worry, he's not to the stage of going crazy with (eg) a chainsaw.

But I can't wait to read those funny views... LOL~ Singaporeans are full of such funny views, you see?

Dealing with a psychologist... You know what is the difference between a psychologist on the hunt and a junkie on the hunt? LOL~
 
seaweed:
I had hoped by not picking up the phone that he would eventually give up. But the calls came pouring in. I was so fed up that I picked up the phone once and left it on without saying anything. He disengaged only after 1 minute (what a miser!)
Now I am awaiting the opportunity to tell him to stop calling but I can´t because he lets phone ring too abrupt. I thought of calling him back directly, but he would deny calling me. A few hours ago, I got a call from someone with a suppressed caller ID, I was so angry and I told the caller to back off! Turned out it was someone else. Hmmphhh!

I have also thought of calling the police, I have yet to find out whether the police here do anything about stalking. I read somewhere that if the police don't take action and the stalker knows you called the police, it would only anger him more. That's when the real danger might begin.

I don't know to condemn all these as a childish act or whether I should take this seriously given his background.

junkie:
The two of us against him alone? It's not a matter of who's got the biggest muscles, I rather not underestimate labile people especially if I know they're have Einstein brains.
 
Dearest beloved Junkie hater,

I am an asshole who loves the fun. LOL~

Meubel probably stays in Germany. So you should start helping her from that basis, Junkie. LOL~

Use the time calling me an asshole to aid our damsel in distress. LOL~
 
"Meubel probably stays in Germany"

i bet u wiki that
happy.gif
 
Junkie,

Her name tells me that. Do I need to wiki the world for her location when she's like screaming to me where she is? LOL~
 
If that's what you love for your alias.

I prefer German girls, that's why.

Germany ladies have very nice features... rousing.
 
Meubel,

Don't tell him your Native country or else he's gonna sterotype you as TYPICAL WHATEVER COUNTRY WOMEN, which is his signature quote: YOU TYPICAL BLA BLA BLA country women.

I will change my number, move house etc but never to approach him to have a talk since he's not mentally sound to talk to.
 
Oh, I left out a few significant details. Before I joined the company, he was in love with someone. The nosy secretary told me this: the girl whom he had a crush on came storming into our department and complained about him. (I don't know what about) Due to the fact that the case was confidential, I didn't dig for more info. (on hindsight I wish I did, neither he nor I still work there) I don't know what happened further on, I reckon the manager reprimanded him and the case is closed. Complaining about someone for issues like that is a risk itself, it may jeopardize your credibility in the office. She took a chance, I think she must have been pushed to a corner. It's like there is a pattern in his actions, bothering people for if there is no response.

What is really intimidating is that he could tell me things about newbies in the office before they even arrive. I suspect he
googles them up or hacks into their e-mail account or something. I wouldn't be suprised if he knows my personal stuff the I never filled him in on.

Junkie and Scope:
I randomly created a pseudonym that sounds good to me without any meaning.

Leecoco:
I wasn't intending on telling precisely where I'm from. To move is not so easy.....thanks for your suggestion anyway.

I'd like to have a long term solution. Maybe, just maybe he'd loose interest on me and move on to his next obsession.
 
Meubel,

LOL~ Well, I guess you have a very western taste in the right region with a social security number. LOL~

I am intending to migrate to Europe as well, and why not you intro some nice girls to me?

There is nothing strange a psychologist who has high brain power (as you so claimed) to know 'the unknown' of people just met or like never met, yes with a certain leads here and there.

I read the minds of this forum... LOL~ I suppose the only chap to counter your high brain power psychologist stalker would be another high brain power psychologist fun-seeker. But... why should I help you? LOL~

My estimation of your IQ is about no more than 150... Your husband could be a seasoned drinker from the attitude he displays. Alchohol affect brains, see? LOL~ But I am not interested to confirm.

I'd help you if you can make the forum makes me laugh harder. Actually, your professional stalker probably is a timid pet, for now. Timid and crazy is a perfect opposite with a thin line.

Interesting stalker you got over there... I hope he can track you down into this forum; will be a wonderful sample just to kill some boredom with. Talking to another high brainer will be fun. LOL~

BTW, what were you both working as? Why did you leave the job and where are you working now? Curious.

Take it easy, researches many years ago already shown high brainers and low brainers super hard to get along or communicate. Don't feel intimidated. If he is even more intelligent, he'd become demi-god. LOL~

I think he needs to search for highly intelligent ladies... I myself am searching too.

Leecoco,

Mentally unsound and mentally disturbed are two different things. The issue is not he is not mentally unsound to talk to, the issue I SEE is Meubel is incapable to handle the situation, so any confrontation (talk or meet up) could place her in a risky situation.

If you ain't a typical bla bla bla country woman, prove it. What you proving to me here is you are really a bra bra bra country woman.

If Meubel won't tell me, how am I to read more into her dire straits? LOL~

I love to see low IQ people giggle... Typical low IQ women... ... with or without bra bra bra (Happy? LOLLLLL).
 
wrong, scope. i got a masters. and will be registered soon.

meubal, ignore scope's insinuations of stupidity, etc etc...he is always doing it, but his advice can check out. He said he is a psychologist...dunno whether is a theoretical psychologist or a clinical one, but he will know the dsm.

thanks for giving more infor...makes it easier to see the scenario in whole.

Let me share with you my views:

despite whatever nationality u are (*AHEM*), my sense is that the stalker somehow saw u as a mother figure and has 'attached' himself to you. After u found him too terrifying as a person, u withdraw, and he panicked. Like a baby who sensed his mother withdrawing, the baby will try hard to cling, cry, sulk or even bite in order to restore the connection and the love. For a baby, the connection and mother means the world to him: it is THE world.

So now u are dealing with someone who I postulate has attachment issues, and may have never found the ideal mother love before. You nurturance of him as a person made u a mother in his mind, and he felt that his world will collapse without you in it. Thus he is doing all the 'clinging, crying, sulking, biting' to get "mummy" to love him again.

How to deal with it ah? He will need to process his problems with mother and attachment, and to start to individuate in order not to get into a "symbiotic" relationship again.

For you: the more you withdraw, the more he will try to grab, stalk, etc to restore the homeostastic relationship u had earlier. We compare this back to the baby: all babies who cling at the start, when given a time space to feel safe, will eventually venture out and learn about the environment. If not, all of us would not have grown up. Another possibility ,if however hard the baby try to reconnect but still fail, the baby will go into despair and feel the world is hopeless. He will either destroy himself, or in a wrath, attempt to destroy the world (since everything is hopeless). So back to him, if having to lose the attachment with you, he falls into despair, he may either destroy himself, or destroy you.

I will prescribe for a gentle, slow detachment from you as the safest way to proceed. (Actually i'm quite scared to be attacked, or to know that someone committed suicide in relationship to his problem with me). While maintaining some form of connection with him that makes him feel safe, encourage some other connection with other people (best a psychotherapist or psychiatrist). When he feels safe enough and connect with another person, he will become less attached to you, and may even eventually "let you go".

hope it helps!
 
Meubel,

a stalker is someone that has great issues expressing his emotions. He wants to be close to you but is totally clueless on how to or he is feeling regretted. I used to stalk a gal in college during my JC days. It lasted for almost a year until I was enlisted. It was contributed to my lack of self esteem. I treated gals just like boys and when I started having affection for a gal, I just didn't know how to deal with it.

Unless he goes to drastic measures, I suggest to leave him alone to deal with it himself. He is definitely not normal based on the description you have given. However, the best treatment for any mental patient is to treat them as normal as possible. The more we treat them as crazy, the more crazy they become. So, its best that you do not display your fear in front of him. As for your mobile, change the number. Don't reveal to anyone in the office or get another personal line and only use the current one to answer known numbers.
 
Meubel,

Pls take care of your safety by carrying pepper spray and picking up self-defence techniques for women. Arm yourself with physical protection. im serious.

i think this stalker incident puts you in high risk group for assault, so you gotta be on alert.
 
Scope:
You mean he's a psychologist by figure of speech? His profession has nothing to do with psychology. You got it right when you said the ex-colleague is timid but wrong when you said my husband is a "seasoned drinker ". He doesn't even drink a drop. And my husband is in the same field as he is, brain power is more or less the same, he is just not crazy. O, I left out another pointer: between the ex-colleague and me, I had my ways more than he did, he wanted to control things like the time of lunch date (to suit HIS work schedule, yes, it sounds trivial), I gave in initially but was fed up after a while. After that, he tried to accommodate to my time, feeling sad. It's not entirely true that I am afraid of him as a person, I am just afraid of what he might do, you know, given his oddity. The ex-colleague knew details like the newbies' connections to the managing director. There were office politics going on, so I left (nothing to do with the guy). He left later, also due to office politics.

Funny that you should ask me to introduce you some nice ladies, I won't even take that seriously.

Hweebs:
Yes, I wouldn't want it in my conscience for him to hurt himself because of me. He always sighs but he never tells what why (undoubtly, it's depression). Like you said, I am the not the source of him having difficulty with himself, I am merely an extension to it. He was adamant about not going to the psychiatrist.

Milo:
Yes, I should just get another number. When we were working together, I treated him like a normal person which made him open up to me. Sometimes, I lost it when he continued to tell me about his sexual escapades in Pattaya.

May Ong:
Peper spray is illegal here. Hmm...got to learn self defense...

More profiling:
1)His mind wanders off quite often and he will be in some kind of trance when that happens. He stares into nothingness and people wonder what´s up.
2)He is timid by nature and very whiney, he whines about trivial stuff like bad weather and his looks.
3)He got psychically bullied a lot when he was a child. The bully motivated him to do body building (he told me this), he's now very muscular. I am amazed by his determination not to get beaten up in his adult life by cultivating those muscles. It is very unlikely that someone beats you up in adulthood under normal circumstances.
4)When people disapprove his personality and his ways, he toughens himself by not letting the words get to him. I think, he never healed from his childhood "trauma". Though his childhood seems normal to me, (no father figure, but so what, that happens to so many people, pardon me for generalizing). He told me his mother was never fit to be a mother, she's childish.
5)He only desires the prostitutes in Pattaya (he goes looking for hookers whenever he's on vacation around the world), not the local ones we have here, not because of race (we have Thai prostitutes here too) but he said because of the way they treat people.
6)He teared up when I left, feeling despair. I never expected someone to cry for my resignation.

I could not comprehend why he is the way he is. I am intrigued like I mentioned earlier but I rather be ignorant of his existence if I were not `haunted`. Yes, I empathized but it got me nowhere.
 
meubel,

intrigued? pls dont fall in love with him! we dont want stockholm syndrome. anyway, he sounds very unattractive lah!
 
meubel, there is really no need to explain to scope. He is quick to discount you completely as if he has gotten both you and your husband all figured out. In actual fact, most folks in this forum have figure out how much hot air he has.

His low self esteem is probably also contributed by the bullying he undergone. But the real reason why he is picked on is because of his weirdness. Frankly, he is likely to be hearing voices and hence the distracted trance he oftens far into. I was too bullied in school and I know how much it affected my self esteem as a teen. Thankfully, I straighten my thoughts and never like it haunt me beyond my earlier years.

I'm also a body builder. haha... but not to beat up people but simply because I enjoy self improvements. I accept my limitations and empower myself to overcome them within realistic means.
 
Meubel,

Like I said, I am not really bothered about your husband but it's just pure curiousity. LOL~

You told me he's been to a psychologist before... and he probably picked up this 'past time' somehow. LOL~ I picked up psychology when I was like 11yo...

And... what amazed me is how much knowledge of him you have confirmed with us. Hmm... ... LOL~

I was just upset that your husband 'wanted' him to commit suicide and you have like no objection. Which is why I was wondering is your husband either a jerk or just a serial drinker. Since he isn't a drinker, he's just likely a jerk. Even if you hate a lost cat, you won't want it dead...

Unkind.

The consequence of may be... you be disfigured, or raped and murdered, or vice versa... murdered and corpse raped, ie. That's the worst scenarios in most known cases. And he's so muscular so you'd find him 'irresistible' if he comes... LOL~

Naughty Scope Guy...

I am afraid May Ong's suggestions are pretty useless against such highly intelligent and muscular hunter. Right now, he hasn't reached that point of mental situation or delusion... But if he decides... he'd become very dangerous. And looking at the way you and your husband handled him...

Bad news.

But I intend to let our Hweebs aid you... just for fun. LOL~ But let me be frank, his symptons seem to develop pretty fast... with a huge mood swings. Just on the note of pre-caution, you are like holding onto a time bomb with an accelerated clock ticking happily away. LOL~

Which is all the more interesting for Hweebs to prove herself... before the Hunt begins.

Hweebs,

This babe is like a foreigner, Masters or what is still a degree, a fvcking useless paper if Meubel lives on the Moon where the Masters won't be recognised... LOL~

Nay, I am not trying to argue or to piss you off. ^.6 ===> Wink.

But you have to understand something about Scope Guy... I don't like Singaporean women waving their certs to tell me they can or coming here selling me the wonderful local women by being... Ahem... LOL~

As said, I don't know whether your certs will be recognised elsewhere. The main point is, this is other people's lives... Prove it. LOL~

Meubel again,

Don't worry. I already... got some ideas of what's going on. Just let Hweebs try. She'd need experience.

But to be careful, if your situation suddenly changes... and you think you are next to death, hire a professional asap.

BTW, you can always take it serious if you have any babes who can accept an average man from mundane Singapore... Whew~

I can't stand local women... boring, silly, and... OMG~ I am dying here without real romance and real love... That's the point.

I am not so terrible as Milo has 'promoted', but I am indeed pretty blunt online. LOL~ And you don't need to explain too much... I can see for myself. ^.^

My 'beloved' Hweebs whom Bedokboy has hinted could be secretly in love with me shalt aid you. LOL+Hehe~

A highly intelligent man who might have picked up psychology... You'd be naked game if he starts to prey. LOL~ He'd know your moves, he'd know better of you than you know of yourselves, he'd be able to plan, and he'd hunt you down without leaving a legal trace... if he wants to.

Interesting personality...
 
Milo:
I have seen Scope's posts around. In this thread, I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt, he's got some postulation right and some wrong. I find it odd that Scope also has a conceited manner of bringing his messages across if he wants to be heard. He should know better. (no offence Scope) Probably because so many forummers have been against him, he has pitched his tone to be how it currently is, under the pretense of having fun. (i.e. using LOL's all the time)

May Ong:
No, I am not in love with him, however, I think I was infatuated by the idea that he came on to me and opened up to me, nobody else could connect with him. He always pushed them away in his obnoxious ways. Before I attempted to be his buddy-colleague, there were others in the office who tried to befriend him but they always end up feeling like it was a waste of their effort.

Since so much time has lapsed between us, I don't feel the emotional connection anymore. So, I don't feel obliged to keep contact.

Scope:
My husband's non-confirmative reaction is due to the fact that the ex-colleague is always whining about his circumstances. I deem it possible that the ex-colleague may just say he has had enough of living one day, which is why I didn't counter my husband's words. Admittedly, I think it was a sadistic thought but neither of us wish him dead. My husband never met the ex-colleague, he never "handled" him. Neither have I since I haven't had contact with him which was a deliberate decision.

You really think I can be in danger? O....my gosh....

Profiling 2:
The guy is forever in depression. Actually, I met this ex-colleague 9 years ago at uni, we were like hi-bye acquaintances. I found him really weird that time (and still do), he stared and stared and stared from afar. One day, he e-mailed me whether I'd like to go visit him at his house one time, I asked if I could bring my boyfriend along (now husband) and never got a reply. He already had a weird vibe back then, but I never got to know him until we worked together (many years later). Even when we were working together, he continued to stare. Once, I decided I had enough of being stared at and said to him, "Staring is rude." He was ashamed and laughed cowardly. But he continued to stare and apologized each time I see him staring.
 
scope, i was just correcting a point about a degree, that it is a masters...no insinuations intended. Who say it has got anything to do with meubel's case or not? I am just making sure i am not misrepresented.

by my *ahem*, wellll...i'm not really trying to sell local women or what, but i thought the digression to ask about whether meubel is a german girl, and that u like german girls is like, totally out of point. Here meubel is trying to get help on her stalker, and all you want to do is to know if she is a german girl????!!!! Your priorities are....*shake head*

meubel,

I will suggest you give him a contract of some sort, that he stops all his stalking and calling activities, and get himself to a psychiatrist, for you to spend some limited time with him (e.g. 30min a week, maybe in the presence of your husband?). Hopefully your presence has enough bearing to get him to some help. Only if you are comfortable with it.
 
Meubel,

LOL~

If I said it's for fun, it's really for fun.

Since a boy, I have been a 'God of Mischief'. I am the type who'd go Orchard in Singapore merely to sight-see the recently flooded shops... just to illustrate.

To me, most of them are avatars, and I really don't buy nosense.

Nope. You did not handle the situation well.

You know, how many people killed people based on "God whispered that to me in the ears..."? LOL~

And when you see 'LOL', I m 100% laughing behind the screen.

It's not really conceited, it's just plain blunt, and it draws the truth of mankind. LOL~

If you know me personally, I love a great laugh. One of my samples is getting married, you can imagine how elated I am. Her game has started, and she is the type who believes in stages, and commitment before love +bla bla bla, and she has a very interesting character which makes her a very keen sample. Hehe...

The point about human psychology is really that man behavior is 'modified' in varied era and environment. It's not just a piece of cert. ^.6

You can be in danger, if you continue to assume. LOL~ I am sorry to suggest this, it seems that your bf cum husband is a real jerk. LOL~ I suspect that if this man goes full blast and becomes a hunter, your husband will be a target as well.

But of course, at this point in time... I don't think he's going to that extreme yet.

Tears he had for you when you leave... is also the tears which will motivate him to 'greater heights'. Emotion... As I have said, your IQ shouldn't be more than 150... I suspect your husband's IQ to be lower than that staring loverboy you got.

So... to expect you to handle a communication with that loverboy... too risky.

I know how it feels of extreme love with hatred creeping in. But being open-minded... I can more or less control myself and channel the unwanted feel before I become bitter. But for such man, your culture may not have the allowance or leisure for him to know how to do it. If he practises psychology... It'd be like a knife in a wrong hand.

And if he is indeed that intelligent... He'd become more like a Demi-God and you... ignorant mortals. Psychology is not a paper cert... This guy may have learnt the application. He refused psychiatrist... He probably thinks he know his condition enough... and that suggests, he may be picking up this 'hobby'.

That's the worst case. Because with such a weapon, he'd be able to more or less accurately pin you down; even if he were to be on the wrong track, very soon, faster than normal people can understand, he'd be on the right track... if this guy is really a brainer as you said.

Cases around the world shows... but those deaths or disfigured women are merely due to barbaric men with no brains, hence they were caught and reported. Yours... is a brainer... So...

That's why I want to see Hweebs handles your case. She's got a Masters. LOL~

It'd be fun.
 
Hweebs,

I was merely correcting you, my 'Secret admirer'. LOLLL~

Anyway, I didn't say you are selling me local women by crazy displays. Though you did tell me that I did not get to taste or meet the fabulous women in this forum; And I don't think you are selling. I was not refering to you, really. For what I meet them, anyway?

Masters is just a degree.

Meubel is all yours. I was about to give you hint that I suspect they knew each other since long long ago... But Meubel confessed that already.

Just to give you another hint, Hweebs... This loverboy of Meubel may hate her husband. ^.6

So, you take care. Two lives are in your hand... possibly so. I'd excuse myself from Meubel's case from now on, and eh... good luck. Of course, if luck shines, maybe it's not that bad.

But... we always prepare for the worst.
 
Out of point for Meubel...
but frankly, I agree that Masters is really nothing but a degree. It doesn't even show your intelligence or capability. I did my part-time masters while working. It was as easy as any other bachelor's degrees. Rather, I feel it shows one's tenacity when you have to write long thesis or study while working. The real deal is the PHD somehow. Then again, all these certs don't necessarily translate to higher income too.
 
scope,

ok lor, if it makes u happy, u go ahead and think that i am your secret admirer lar. i wouldn't lose a piece of flesh anyway :D

main thing is to drop a lifeline to the stalker...now his entire world is only hinged on meubel, quite risky lah. best is if can leverage on meubel's influence and pull more people in to help. the more the better.
 
Hweebs,

LOL~

Another hint: You are on the wrong track with the stalker. Baby, you sleeping in class or your lecturer is an asshole? LOL~

Why am I so good to you? Maybe I am your secret admirer~? LOL~

Yeah, yeah~

Denise80,

Don't tell me you got a Masters in Ninja? LOL~

I only learn how to be invisible in the crowd... LOL~ At least Milo said he'd ignore me, or pretend to do it. LOL~
 
Hweebs:
Frankly, I don't know whether he is on medication. I also don't know if he was ever on medication. He just said they aren't doctors out there who can cut his body open to repair it.

I really don't feel comfortable talking to him anymore, let alone be his "savior". I also don't see myself as responsible for "aiding" him. I used to suggest to him to meet more people but he always said there he'd get into more trouble if he did that.

Scope:
You keep on lamenting on my IQ score, I don't know my IQ score nor my husband's. Or the ex-colleague's. You label my husband's a jerk based on his "earnest joke" that the colleague might kill himself? (Which we all think might just happen?) Everybody makes foul statements every now and then.

You said I can be in danger, if I continue to assume. Assume what exactly? You also said I did not handle the situation well. How, may I ask you, how would you have handled it then? (given that I don't want any contact) For crying out loud, can you put things into perspective without sounding creepy?
 
meubel, i suggest you not to bother. Its a minor battle between Hweebs and scope. And as mentioned, scope will continue with his judgemental and groundless suggestions. Its not just on you. He is pretty much doing that for over a month now. It doesn't matter he isn't talking sense, he will just go on and on like a pest.
 
meubel,

You sound very bothered by this, but I think the best way to handle this is to remain calm.

Since attention is what he wants from you, why don't you give him a call and find out how he is? From what you say, he sounds like a spiteful guy. Perhaps he's getting back at you for ignoring his emails.

He may stop bothering you once you show him some concern. You can take the opportunity to explain to him that you want to move on with your life, and you feel that he should try to make new friends and continue with his treatments.

You can try these things out and see if they work. If he gets agitated when you talk to him or threatens to harm you, you should call the police.

Never meet him alone outside, and for now, when you're out by yourself, be careful and more alert.

Take care.
 
You seemed to be assuming that 1. your ex-colleague must be the culprit who has been making all these prank calls, 2. he most probably knew where you stay and other personal details, 3. your life might be in danger if you take any kind of action.

Why don’t you verify if the above is real? Gather evidence first, check with telco company what needs to be done for them to trace the phone number. And what else can they do if you’re being harassed.

Your husband is aware of all these and apart from not liking it, what are his suggestions?
 


"Funny that you should ask me to introduce you some nice ladies, I won't even take that seriously."

meubel, perhaps this is his hunting ground? be warned.
 
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