Anyone meeting fiance at church and no bride pick up?

J

joenbby

New Member
Hi,

Anyone out there share the same situation as me where there's no bride pickup in the morning but straight to church on your own and meeting your fiance in church? My family is not really pleased with this arrangement as being Chinese, the groom always come and pick up the bride. But my fiance's family doesn't practise Chinese customs and choose to meet up in church. How can i explain to my family whom have given in on a lot of other issues already? Thanks!
 


Hihi

I will be doing the same! Meeting my FH in church. In fact, he only gets to see me when I march into church.

Maybe you can check with your parents the significance of your FH picking you up from home? Perhaps trying to understand them from this angle might help you to discuss with them your choice.

Besides, doing away with the fuss, I want to spend my morning breakfast with my family. Family time!!!
 
Hey Ecin,

Same here, my FH will see me only when i step into church, dad will lead me down the aisle to him. More like caucasian style.

Dad sort of accepted it but i know he's still unhappy about it. The significance is big for Chinese like "marrying off" the daughter (out of the house). So groom come to take bride away. That's the traditional Chinese wedding...u know how the olden days groom picks up bride in the red "sedan" thingy carried by 4 guys...so it's the same thing....

It's just that we are all Chinese and in Singapore most people practise the Chinese traditions so it's a reason for my dad to say why we are not doing things the normal way as other families. Just hope that he'll not nag me throughout the whole time from now till the big day.
 
Hi Joen

Well, it's understandable that your dad will still be unhappy. Perhaps you can soften his heart by having a good talk with him, that you really appreciate the fact that he has accepted your decision. Strangely, dads always have a soft spot for his daughters when we go to them personally.

I think the idea is to be taken away rather than to be given. Perhaps it will help to explain to him that the act of him giving you away is him giving you his blessings to be married to your FH. And that to you is very important because you would want your parents' blessing for this marriage. Make you parents feel that you appreciate them and it's their blessings that you sought for... and not just following some ang mo customs.

yeah.. just hope and pray if your christian that all will go well for the BIG day!
happy.gif
 
Hi All,
i am meeting my HTB at church too. i find it more meaningful than the gate crashing even!
To walk down the aisle with my dad,with my family and frens looking at me and most importanly is knowing that my future stands in front of the church's alter.Not every ger can do this so i am real happy that i can.
We are chinese also but i think its a balance of the chinese traditions and our religion.
 
i'll be doing that too, but my parents are in full agreement. in fact, my dad hates the whole gatecrashing stuff.

initially i wanted to check into the hotel on my own 1st, and head to church from the hotel. but my mum objected, she said I had be "married off" from the house...
 
Hi,
Chanced upon this thread n realise tat u *joenbby is in a similar plight like me.

Initially, my htb's side don see e pt of picking me up frm home. I was really upset as many of my married galfrienz actually marry both chinese n western practices together.

1. Pick e bride n gate crash* (optional)
2. Go to church n get ready for e church wedding

Even though it may b a bit of a rush, but like wat some btbs share over here, my parents feel tat itz e proper way 2 marry off their daughter.
My concern is tat e neighbours, when they see me alone, will wonder where the bridegroom is.

In order to make my parents feel @ ease, i insisted on my idea till my htb relented.
No offence but i believe e bride deserves to b treated e best on tat day. Mayb u can speak 2 ur htb on this n see if he can accomodate this arrangement.

If he knows coming to pick u up will make u a happier bride, itz worth e trouble.
 
hi would like to share my thoughts on this. My HTB's younger bro married off the same way - wife and husband only meet in church. and for the rest of the year this has been the topic of gossip for his family and well as my family.I think for the older folks they sort of deem this as the girl throwing herself to the guy side..and to make matters worse, the girl did not even bother to have tea ceremony for her own parents.
Even this incident did not happen, I will still insist to have the guy pick the girl from home - i don't know if this is a religious practise or not I always thought its a chinese custom and should be followed if we are chinese. Just like christians also celebrate chinese new year right?
 
I believe that picking up the bride from home is what you called "ju zhia" right?

For me, hubby will pick me up first then go to church together. Actually, yes i find it more sweet and endearing that the first meet up is at the church. Imagine... the first time ur hubby see u, is at the other end of the aisle in the wedding gown covered in veil.. awwww....
 
Hi joenbby,
understand the situation u r in.
My MIL actually want us to meet in church. When I told my parents, they 'jumped'. My dad asked if she (MIL) knows the meaning of 'yin qu' or not.
I had a hard time explaining. In the end, I get my HTB to talk to his mum. Finally, she 'agreed'. But on and off will say it's better to meet in church. Sigh...
 
Maybe a compromise would work here?

My hubby is Eurasian, and his family's tradition is that the first time he sees me in a wedding gown should be at church. But of course, being Chinese, my family wanted me to be "married off" from home.

In the end, we reached a compromise - I wore the kua at home for the gatecrashing and tea ceremony, and brought the gown with me to the church. Of course, we had to make other sacrifices - like only having the "pre-wedding" photoshoot after the wedding, I had to go for the bridal fittings alone, and the gatecrashing had to start super early so I'd have time to change.

Still, when he saw me in the wedding gown for the first time as my dad walked me down the aisle at church....the look in his eyes was priceless and something I won't ever forget
happy.gif
 
Well I'm Christian and my HTB is also Christian so although I am not going to chu jia before the church wedding and will be meeting him directly in church, our parents are fine.

As a Chinese, I am still holding my tea ceremony - but only AFTER the church ceremony. My reason is that because God is the #1 priority in my life, the most important ceremony to me is the one that is conducted in church. However as a Chinese, my traditions (not the religious customs) are still important to me so I also want to have tea ceremony and "chu jia" after the church wedding.

I feel that we shouldn't cut out tea ceremony completely. As said, it is a tradition and not religious beliefs. It's just a matter of deciding which to you is important - and also realizing that if your heart is in the right place, you may decide to choose tea ceremony first for convenience' sake or because your MIL wants it that way - it doesn't matter. It's what you personally want to have, and what you decide to compromise on to ensure a happy wedding
happy.gif
 
anyone can share with me where the tea cermeony is held if u all had ur wedding straight at church and no gate crash?
 
GG> Think I will be going to the respective houses to have tea ceremony. Either or, you can consider it at the church or the hotel????
 
do not want gatecrashing too. but would like the groom to pick me up. So what could be the procedure be like for that day when he comes up? Just the normal unveiling and then out of the house? Any suggestions?
 
Aresa> You could do what you have proposed. He comes and pick you up, unveil you, then leave the house? Anyway, where will you guys be heading after he unveils you? To your ROM place? Or Tea Ceremony???
 
2 weeks ago, I had my wedding without gate crashing, and at the church straight. My parents veiled me before my mother left the house for the church, which was a big step for my mother, since she was a little disappointed that the groom wasn't going to pick me up from home, but I had some strong views that things should run that way, so we rolled with that.
happy.gif
 
Maoushroom, will be heading either to church for wedding or his place for tea ceremony. Depends what time I can book the church î–
 
just a question, did u all regret not have gatecrashing as to some it's like missing out fun and leaving your place in a lively ambience..
 
Hi Gzer,

I'm getting married in Jan 2013, will be a church wedding w no gatecrashing but my FH will fetch me from my house to church.

I think it depends on individual. To us we want to have a casual yet decent fetching at my place rather than 'torturing' the guys like fools with embarrassing games on the suan,tian,ku,la...

without gatecrashing i'm sure there's still fun and lively ambience with the presence of family members, relatives & frds' blessings =)

I have frds with no gatecrashing & they had fun too with no regrets!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

B
No gatecrash/fetching of bride
Replies
0
Views
724
Birdyak
B
C
Is this an acceptable excuse not to RSVP?
Replies
4
Views
3K
Sophie19
Sophie19
S
Catholic wifey and Buddhist hubby
Replies
1
Views
4K
MYYAHOOACC
M
E
Confession of a married man - ‘almost’ an extra martial relationship
Replies
0
Views
5K
Endless09
E
R
WTS: PWS TAIWAN La Fatte Pre Wedding Photoshoot Package
Replies
0
Views
2K
rumratgumsplat
R

Back
Top