cookie0511
New Member
I'm getting married in 2 months. We sent out "Save The Date" last year by giving heads up to those we wanted to invite since last December. Our proposed schedule for that day will be a church wedding mass in the morning at a church in Bras Basah, then a lunch reception at a restaurant in Bukit Batok.
Most of the people we invited early on were those whom both my fiance and I know, people from our various communities that we are both involved in. One guy whom we have served under for 2 years in some community leadership role, has been bugging us to get married since 2 years back, and he kept saying he would be the first to attend and couldn't wait to see us married as we "inspire him as a couple". When we finally finalised the venues, we sent him a heads up. He promised us to attend.
In May this year, we saw him again at an activity, and again, he promised us he would attend and would definitely be there. Then when we finally sent out our formal invites in August, he called me, stating that last year, he attended someone's wedding (incidentally my fiance and I attended that same wedding as it was another common friend), and he said that because he gave small ang pow, that friend stopped talking to him. He didn't want the same thing to happen to us, so regretfully he won't be attending our wedding. This is despite the fact we asked our guests to indicate if they could only come for the church or the lunch or both (and many have already stated their preference), and that we invited them because they mean something to us, not because we crave for their ang pow! And this despite the fact that he has been saying for 2 years that he wants us married and to come for our wedding!
My fiance and I felt really betrayed, because honestly, if he had just come (even for either church or lunch) without giving anything, we would have been happy. But the fact that he said this for not coming, we felt truly hurt, so much so that my fiance left the WhatsApp chat groups with this guy and unfriended him on Facebook. Furthermore, the lunch place was coincidentally near where this guy is staying. And we have friends from overseas who RSVPed immediately and willing to take the trouble to fly over here just for 1 day to attend our wedding.
Are we right to feel hurt and angry? Or are we overreacting? We are still in the midst of sorting out RSVPs as half the people have not replied. There are some who have replied and not coming due to going overseas and family issues, that we can totally accept and understand. We have to guarantee at least 25 tables for the lunch reception and now I fear we may not be able to hit that number now, so we also need some advise how to renegotiate if need be!
Most of the people we invited early on were those whom both my fiance and I know, people from our various communities that we are both involved in. One guy whom we have served under for 2 years in some community leadership role, has been bugging us to get married since 2 years back, and he kept saying he would be the first to attend and couldn't wait to see us married as we "inspire him as a couple". When we finally finalised the venues, we sent him a heads up. He promised us to attend.
In May this year, we saw him again at an activity, and again, he promised us he would attend and would definitely be there. Then when we finally sent out our formal invites in August, he called me, stating that last year, he attended someone's wedding (incidentally my fiance and I attended that same wedding as it was another common friend), and he said that because he gave small ang pow, that friend stopped talking to him. He didn't want the same thing to happen to us, so regretfully he won't be attending our wedding. This is despite the fact we asked our guests to indicate if they could only come for the church or the lunch or both (and many have already stated their preference), and that we invited them because they mean something to us, not because we crave for their ang pow! And this despite the fact that he has been saying for 2 years that he wants us married and to come for our wedding!
My fiance and I felt really betrayed, because honestly, if he had just come (even for either church or lunch) without giving anything, we would have been happy. But the fact that he said this for not coming, we felt truly hurt, so much so that my fiance left the WhatsApp chat groups with this guy and unfriended him on Facebook. Furthermore, the lunch place was coincidentally near where this guy is staying. And we have friends from overseas who RSVPed immediately and willing to take the trouble to fly over here just for 1 day to attend our wedding.
Are we right to feel hurt and angry? Or are we overreacting? We are still in the midst of sorting out RSVPs as half the people have not replied. There are some who have replied and not coming due to going overseas and family issues, that we can totally accept and understand. We have to guarantee at least 25 tables for the lunch reception and now I fear we may not be able to hit that number now, so we also need some advise how to renegotiate if need be!
