Any Brides whose HTB is 'Ang Mo'?

[cuclainne]

squeakers

I wish I could make it all happen for under 1K - did ask him if he wanted to just serve rice and curry to guests. Hmm..

Your FMIL should be happy that you have some interest in traditions .. even if it's the wrong ones. But seriously, I don't see why she should be offended - is she the old-fashioned type?

 

[squeaks]

Cuclainne

She can't be that old fashion since she's accepting an 'ang moh' as a DIL. I do know that she's VERY superstitious. We had to wait for the fortune teller to pick our wedding date. She even had the fortune teller come over and look at me to see if I had a 'lucky' face. lol.

It doesn't matter to me. If it makes her happy and it doesn't bother me then why not let her have her way? I just wish she would tell me if I made a mistake rather than letting it build up and boil over later.. or have me try and guess what I've done wrong!

I'm wondering, could you try to pull off an outdoor/beach wedding with that amount? It could be simple appetizers and cocktails... or could barbeque... let me know if you need help. I'm full of ideas!

 

[cuclainne]

Squeakers

It's a lucky thing then that the fortune teller didn't say anything bad .. I wonder what she would say, if he had remarked otherwise.

Yup yup .. perhaps she should have gone through some traditions with you, instead of having you 'guess' which ones are Teochew traditions and risk her fuming over your 'mistakes'.

I did run the idea by the hubby but he thinks that beach weddings are so tacky. Plus his father will playing some music at the wedding so I have to figure out the set-up, etc. Sigh..

 

[squeaks]

Hmmm.. he really is making things difficult... I guess you could try for a restaurant? I'm sure you could get away with using a private room for the evening that way you don't have to rent the entire restaurant out.

 

[mrs_n]

Hi Cuclainne, how are you? Wah! Not long more huh. Under 1K, quite difficult lah, not unless you or your family members do the cooking. Or else your guests might have to pot luck! Maybe you have to hold it in the HDB void deck or in your or parents place!

My father & his friends also played some music at my 'wedding' and they had to hire the sound system etc.So unless you can find someone who could let you have the equipment for free, it costs about $500. Yeah, the cost adds up.

de_luxe, as long as you have the main things like venue, caterer, dress sorted out, as for the rest, you can slowly sort them out and I think you'll be alright. I was very last minute. We booked venue, church/priest, ceilidh band, caterer at the beginning and then forgot about the wedding for half a year. We sent off wedding invites 3 months before the date. We got them printed in June (wedding was in Oct) in S'pore and my mum had to post them over. Booked my florist and decided on favours 3 weeks before (so had to sew like mad because we made our own favour bags). Caterer wanted approx guests nos a month before and final nos a week before so there was a hetic rush chasing people who hadn't replied. And I did final guest seating arrangements the night before because some people changed their minds at the last minute. Grrrr! We decorated the hall and arranged the tables the night before and on the morning of the wedding. Total utter craziness at the end but we survived. Though have to admit that I was totally knocked out after that !

You'll survive too just maybe aim to do one thing at a time. Perhaps buy your rings this weekend and source a band or something else the next weekend etc ... and you'll get there eventually.

Hi squeakers I think nowadays people are not so fussy about whether they have red or not. I've been to chinese weddings where there isn't a hint of red in the theme. If you are unsure, ask your FILs or play it safe and have something close to it like pink, cerise or burgundy etc. Don't know how applicable this is nowadays though but so long as you avoid having too much white or black, you should be ok. Read a post on another forum which said that these were considered by the chinese as funeral colours and if your FMIL is superstitious it may not go down well with her.

 

[squeaks]

Mrs N

Thankfully I'm already aware of the white/death symbolism! There won't be a single white blossom in the entire decor. lol. As for the black, I'm Italian so black/death takes care of that.

I'm thinking of having more gold/orange colours. One auspicious colour out of two can't be that bad.. I just have to run it by the FILs. Since I have time, I'm going to have FH butter them up to the idea. Heehee.

Right now I'm looking into cheap DIY favours to give out to our guests. My FMIL thinks its a waste of money since the hotel already provides chocolates. I just want something more personalized. I'm thinking maybe the traditional Italian favours of candied almonds. At least my heritage would be in there somewhere! Do you think the Chinese guests would appreciate them?

 

[squeaks]

Mrs N

Thankfully I'm already aware of the white/death symbolism! There won't be a single white blossom in the entire decor. lol. As for the black, I'm Italian so black/death takes care of that.

I'm thinking of having more gold/orange colours. One auspicious colour out of two can't be that bad.. I just have to run it by the FILs. Since I have time, I'm going to have FH butter them up to the idea. Heehee.

Right now I'm looking into cheap DIY favours to give out to our guests. My FMIL thinks its a waste of money since the hotel already provides chocolates. I just want something more personalized. I'm thinking maybe the traditional Italian favours of candied almonds. At least my heritage would be in there somewhere! Do you think the Chinese guests would appreciate them?

 

[mrs_n]

Squeakers, I had candied almonds for my wedding favours in England too! There were two types: one was just almond with sugar coating and the other was almond with chocolate and coated with sugar. But we combined them with some chocolates which we got off the supermarkets when they were having a 'buy one get one free' promotion.

Your marriage like the rest of us on this thread is a combination of East and West so I think its nice to combine a little of the traditions from both's sides. I don't know about chinese guests but most of the guests at our wedding took back the favours with them (including the chinese ones). Maybe you could include a note with the favours to explain what the sugared almonds mean? I think it is suppose to symbolise sweet and bitter aspects of (married?)life? Apparently its traditional to give 5 to represent: health, wealth, fertility, happiness and long life. Is this similar for the Italians? I didn't follow this rule though as wasn't sure whether we had enough almonds to go around as my hubby kept popping some in his mounth while we were putting them into the bags!

Gold & orange are nice and bright colours, very cheery. Goes along the line of Autumn too ... is that about the time of your wedding? Maybe you could incorporate a bit of an american autumn theme to your S'pore wedding?

 

[cuclainne]

Squeakers

Hahahaha .. my maid of honour remarked that my husband probably thinks I am so good at putting things together, even if they are a little ridiculous to meet. Yes, we've decided to have it at a restaurant near Boat Quay - it's the only night he can let loose with his buddies who'll be flying in so he would like the dinner venue to be close to a pub so he can celebrate with a whisky and cigar afterwards.

Mrs N

Yes, that's what I told him. Even at a hotel, they would rent out the sound system at $150+++. That's the cheapest!! Hmmm ... will have to sort that out cos I don't think his Dad is bringing along his keyboard too.

 

[squeaks]

Hihi

Well, I tried to sweet talk my FH into no red at the wedding. He freaked out! I didn't think he was superstitious but apparently he can't imagine a wedding without red. I think I'll continue with the "autumn" type theme.. My AD is November so it can go either way.. Winter or Christmas.

I'm going to bring the candies from the States. They can't be chocolate though unless I put ice in my suitcase or carry-on.

cuclainne

Glad to hear you managed to settle on the place. It sounds like your hubby will be having a good time which is the most important thing. Are you happy with the arrangements as well? You have the reverse situation, usually its the bride that demands so many things! lol.

 

[cuclainne]

Squeakers

Yes, I am happy with the arrangements. By the way, that reverse situation doesn't only apply to the wedding preparations .. occasionally I do question who is the female in the relationship.. hahahahaha.

 

[squeaks]

Haha! Lucky for him, you have loads of patience then. I don't think I could cope living with someone like me. LOL. My FH is very 'steady' while I'm always worrying over everything... and always suggesting things.

Opposites attract in our case!

 

[freakyfairy]

Squeakers: Actually you can still bring chocolate from the States. I always get my FH to buy me English chocolates when he's flying to SG and they're still very cold when he unpacks hehe. I stay in the west so there's about nearly an hour of travelling.

 

[squeaks]

freaky

I will be bringing the chocolates.. my FH decided on the wedding favors and since its one of the few things that he wants, I'm obliged to figure out a way. The only problem is trying to fit all of them into a suitcase! They're going to come individually pre-boxed (they're customized) so its not as easy as the regular bags of candy.
Fortunately, we have gel packs that we can freeze and use to keep them cool.

Where there's a will, there's a way!

 

[mrs_n]

Hi Squeakers, freaky is quite right. I've brought chocolates back to S'pore from the UK and they've never melted. Packed them in my suitcase with my clothes. Temperatures of checkin luggage compartments on the plane are usually belowing freezing anyway so hardly likely they would melt. But I suppose a lot would depend on the type of chocolate too.

Hee! Hee! Sounds like your fiance would like to keep some of his traditions too. Usually guys aren't too bothered about colour etc, maybe that's a good sign at least he shows some interest in the wedding preps. Aren't 'atumnn' themes mainly gold with hints of rusty red? A sort of compromise with what you want and what he wants?

Hey Cuclainne, glad you've finally got a place to have your 'makan'. Yeah, hiring of equipment is kind of expensive (had to used the 'ang pow' money) as they had to hire not only sound equipment but also drum set and keyboard. My dad used to play in a band long time ago and they decided to get together to play at my wedding. Does your venue have a live music band, maybe they could lend you the keyboard for a while? Your FIL doesn't intend to play the whole night through, does he?

Hi freaky, is your FH English?

 

[squeaks]

LOL. How did I manage to have the only 'melting' experience here? I brought Reeses Pieces Candies (like M&Ms but they have peanut butter inside) back to Malaysia for a friend and they were an icky pile of mush at the end of the trip over. Hmmm.. maybe its the peanut butter part that messed things up?

 

[cuclainne]

Squeakers

That is sooo true!

A friend of mine from Minnesota used to send me chocolates via post and they always turn out alright ..

Mrs N

Seems like we might settle for a Mediterranean restaurant at Clarke Quay, and then afterwards we could go to one of the pubs for a drink or two.

No, he won't be playing all night long (he is on vacation after all) but we might decide that he doesn't need to - if the venue doesn't cater for it.

 

[freakyfairy]

Squeakers Does sound troublesome packing in boxes of chocolates. I would be so tempted to eat them on the flight haha

I want to give out these chocolate cups thingy I got in a recipe book but I'm having an outdoor wedding and they are going to melt before the guest arrive.

Hi Mrs N, yeah my FH is English. I'm still trying to decide if I want to change my surname to his after the wedding. Is anyone here intending to do that?

hehe I did have a sort of 'melting' experience once too. I asked my cousin who was visiting England to bring back some chocolate truffles but totally forgot to tell him about it. So he left it in his room for a few weeks when he got back to SG and when my mum went to collect it, it has become a bag of melted chocolate! She said it was really tasty though.

 

[mrs_n]

So the moral of today's story is .... 'Don't bring back peanut butter based chocolates or chocolate truffles!'

Will have to remember that the next time I go home. Eh Squeakers, are the boxes for giving away too? Otherwise you might have to pack them into a another box to prevent boxes and almonds from being squashed!

Cuclainne, that sounds lovely. The main thing is to keep things simple and you're bound to enjoy it more. Not long more to go.

Freaky my hubby is also English. Its quite normal for the English to change their names after marriage. Some people double-barrel but I don't quite like that idea and besides not feasible for me. My maiden name too long and if double-barrel ... alamak I don't think there will be enough squares on any forms to fit all the letters in! Anyway, my hubby says that in England our marriage cert makes it legal for me to take on his name, so its kind of automatic to be 'Mrs N' unless I choose not to. In S'pore its a different matter all together. I went to ICA as I wanted to change name in my i/c. However, the person told me that I could not change my given name but I could add in my married name. So now my i/c and passport has two names: Given name and Mrs married name below it. In this way, legally I can use both and my husband is ok with that. It costs ~$60 to add in the name. I think if you wanted to drop you original name, you have to do it by deed poll at the lawyers. Probably costs more too, something which I was trying to avoid as much as possible.

Having both names, makes life a whole lot easier for me as most of my official documents in S'pore are in my maiden name as are my insurance policies , bank etc. I informed banks, CPF etc of the addition to my name and they told me that as long as my original name was still in my i/c, it didn't matter if I was also known as 'Mrs N', so it saved me the hassle from going down and filling application forms all over again. Was really pleased with that as my time in S'pore was so short (just came back for 3 weeks in Dec) and I'd rather be spending that time with my family than doing 'official' business.

Have a great weekend girls.

 

[squeaks]

Mrs N

Yes, the little boxes are for the guests. FH loves them ( I wanted little satchels which would have been cheaper and easier to transport) so we're having those.

My one question is: how important are invites? I really don't mind spending money on the favors because they are cute, personalized and the guests will actually eat them. But the invites? Though I want them to be decent, they aren't that important to me. Do they really need to be 'embossed'? Or is this one of those things that need to be really nice to 'save face' etc..

 

[squeaks]

Sorry if that last posting sounded a little snotty... I'm still wounded from the recent round of scoldings from my FMIL for not knowing about traditions... or what's "important" to splurge on and what's just "silly".

I don't think its fair that she expects me to know the difference in all the traditions when even Chinese don't know it! Grrrr...

 

[mrs_n]

Hi squeakers, personally I wouldn't spend too much on invites. I know some of my aunts, mum will keep them as a memento but most people will probably throw them away after the wedding. If the wordings are legible and nicely arranged, I would have thought that would be good enough and wouldn't spend extra on getting them embossed even though they might look 'classier' as they'll most likely end up in the bin. I think the money could be put to better use elsewhere. Anyway, don't hotels usually provide the invites (& printing?) if you're holding the banquet there?

Don't be too hard on yourself, cultural differences are bound to happen. Perhaps she means well but didn't put it in a nice way.

Maybe you can ask her what are the traditions she expects you to follow rather than you having to guess them.

 

[de_luxe]

Thanks for the recommendation Squeakers. I've found a JP already (Pierre Paul Gaudette). Din know it's so easy. Just a 5-min phone call & he said ok, i've got it in my calendar. When I asked if I need to send him an email to confirm, he said, "sure if you want. It's confirmed as far as I'm concerned." So case closed for now till it's time to do online registration or whatever I need to do at ROM.

Perhaps a red evening gown will suffice for red at the wedding? Otherwise, just red tablecloths for ur VIP tables & red invitation cards. As far as I'm aware, that's the most pple do these days w red... BTW i doubt the invites have to be THAT nice after all most pple will throw them away. Actually the price difference btwn normal printing (AKA offset printing) & hotstamping is only abt $20 so up to u which u prefer. I think you've been very accommodating to ur FMIL's requests... so take heart.. maybe ur FH can help to defuse the situation?

Welcome freaky I'll be taking on FH's surname after we're married. (He's German BTW) He really wanted me to do it so it was like a no negotiation thing tho I did propose having a double barrelled surname so that I can keep my maiden name.

Hi cuclainne which restaurant at boat quay are u having it?

Seems like all FHs are pretty much the same, and unconcerned / uninterested & unrealistic with the wedding and costs... Dun think i've ever argued with FH so much in our 4yrs tog. It's so stressful dealing with MEN and family expectations!

 

[squeaks]

Thanks everyone. Its funny, most people have problems with their hubbies.. I have problems with my FMIL. I wish she wouldn't make this so difficult! My FH has selected the favors, is creating a music list, and even suggested dance lessons which we start next week! She on the other hand is insisting on complicating everything. Urgh~

I'm glad everyone's wedding plans are going well. I'm sure that everything will work out fine in the end.

Oh, and to answer the questions about the invites. We traded the invites with the hotel for something else that was wayy more important/expensive so quite happy about that. The invites that we'll replace with will be pretty basic. I agree that most people will throw them out!

 

[freakyfairy]

Mrs NOh! I didn't know that in S'pore, you get to have both your maiden name and hubby name. That's going to make life so much easier. We plan to move to England after a few years here and I think it'll be nicer if I take his name. My FH's surname is slightly embarrassing, especially for guys and it sounds bad combined with mine. He was joking that if I'm keeping my maiden name, our kids are going to be upset that I don't get to share their pain.

de luxehello there

Do you know if you have to get a deed poll to have a double barrelled surname? I'm considering putting my surname as a middle name but it means having 3 middle names...

I don't think it's worth spending lots on the invites either. Especially when you could use the money to go towards the favours.

SqueakersI think it's pretty common to have trouble with FMIL. My mum told me that she nearly called off her wedding cos of arguments over all the traditions (my dad is from a different dialect). It is quite harsh of her to expect you to know though.

My FH isn't in S'pore now so I've been doing the preparation work on my own which is quite enjoyable so far. I wonder if I'll start getting irritated at him when he comes over next month haha. I'm planning to let him deal with the music and catering.

So far, the only problem I had is with my own dad! Didn't really expect it. I'm DIYing my own invites, kind of like a mini mooncake box thing which helps to keep the cost down since I don't have to send it out for printing and my dad said what for cos everyone is going to throw it away anyway which upsets me a bit. And when it comes to catering, he told me not to bother getting it from hotels cos they're so expensive and I'll end up spending over $20k and I'll end up in debt and people are going to say we're spending way over what we can afford! How is it possible to spend that much when I have less than 100 guests? I'm planning to keep all the details from him as much as possible now.

 

[cuclainne]

Squeakers

I agree with you. People tend to throw invites away (I know I do!) so this is one aspect of the wedding preparations that I know I can save money on .. nothing fancy.

de_luxe

It's either the Moroccan place or the Tapas place - not sure yet. Would really like the first one though ...

Mrs N

The hubby thought my name sounded plain awful with just his surname so I double-barreled it. He's ok with that and I get to keep my dad's name so it works out in the end.

 

[pinkcandy]

haha sorry everyone for the very delayed response. been very caught up with work lately

de_luxe: i've met up with edmund! he's very nice to work with and experienced. What i like about him is the dedication he puts into the editing. can really tell because i'm a designer myself and i know how taxing it is. currently booked him for the ROM only because i don't know my AD date yet.

regarding my venue, i have decided NOT to get anything. hahahahhahahaha im going hysterical. Thing is, a very nice friend of my husband has agreed to let us use her home to hold the lunch recept, which is rather centralised. Its one of those colonial houses with a large open garden. so yeah, i'll be getting outdoor catering and my solomnisation at her home.

i think i should be very helpful that i have friends who are willing to help me out. but at the same time, its quite hard to say "no" either, or blame them if things would go wrong. hahha. but i really hope everything would be ok.

 

[mrs_n]

Hiya Ladies

You girls are really hardworking make me feel so malu lah!

Hee! Hee! In my case, it was the hubby who took more interest in the wedding preps than I did.

Bless him, he did almost everything apart from my dress which he refused to take responsibility for! Made me feel really guilty at times.

I didn't even step into a bridal shop, just bought my wedding dress pattern and cloth off the internet and my MIL found a dressmaker who would make it for me. Cheapest (wedding gown cost me less than S$360) and fastest (did it all within 2 days) way to do it. At that time 'wedding' was the last thing on my mind, was too desperate to keep to my thesis schedule so I guess my hubby had to make up for my enthusiasm (or lack of it)!

Freaky other than double barrelling, some people also have 'nee' added to it (like my mum). For e.g. my mum is known as Mrs xxx married surname nee maiden surname. Was going to do something like that before I was told of the other option! But it is nice to take on your hubby's name. I did have a bit of an identity 'crisis' after the wedding so was really pleased that I can still use both. In my case, I think I will only use my maiden name for the purpose of work (if I can find any) and everything else as Mrs N. I told my hubby the reason why I didn't submit my thesis in my married name was to avoid complications which may arise due to having different names on my thesis and in journals and also I prefer not to be known as Dr N. Personally, I think Mr & Mrs N sounds much nicer than Mr & Dr N.

Lucky you to be able to spend a few more years in S'pore before moving to England. Whereabouts is your FH from?

Pink Candy, nice to see you around. Know what you mean, sometimes its so hard to say 'no' when they're so keen. Similar case with my FIL. He wanted to help out with the music for 'before the church ceremony' so we let him have a free go. Don't know what the guests thought about his choice of music which according to hubby was more appropriate for a fun-fair!

Oh well! Its the thought that counts and its always something to remember and smile about.

So no worries ladies, on the day, you'll be so happy with just being married that nothing else matters. All the little niggles that stress you out before the wedding, MIL and family traditions etc etc betcha you won't even think about them! And when you look back, you'll wonder why on earth did you let it bother you.

Enjoy your planning while you can. Time passes by so quickly.

Love & God Bless!
Sx

 

[gottliebt]

HI dear gals

Had to speed-read all the posts that I have missed out cos of all the wedding stuff. Phew phew. The wedding is finally over and it was AWESOME! Couldn´t have asked for a more perfect wedding. The church decoration was just so beautiful, my uncle did up the entire deco together with my church frens, the entire program was so smooth too. My youth cell had a special dance item for me and they had some special thank youslides and photos that was flashed using the projector... I was really touched. Almost everybody I knew was crying... husband´s entire family was crying... including the groomsmen... all 4 of them... tall french and german guys took turns to hug him at the end of the wedding and just cried. It was really like quite touching and a bit funny too. HIs mom and sister cried like non-stop and during our thank you speeches, it was another sob session. My dad teared a bit too, even though he hardly sheds a tear. We had photo-taking at botanical gardens after that with the entire bridal entourage, 4 groomsmen, 3 bridesmaids, 2 page boys and 3 flower gals.... Following that we had the wedding dinner at grand shanghai and I am just so happy that its like totally different from the normal chinese sit down dinner. For one thing we started at 8pm, we could already start at 745pm (thanks to my be-early-or-else... email that i send to everybody before the wedding)...there was lotsa special performances...we danced the waltz, song item by my adult cell, individual song by my youth fren, special song item by my husband with a group of my close frens singing acapela - is that how u spell it, fathers of the bride and groom having speeches, closing dance with ppl holding candles at the end of the dinner... after which ppl just hung around and danced and chit chat. People were mingling around, changing tables and talking.... I have been for 9 wedding dinners in 1.5 yrs and the norm is like dinner starts late and ppl can´t wait to leave even before the dinner ends. My dinner started early and everybody was like hanging out till late.... I was pretty surprised that ppl didn´t want to leave actually. The restaurant chased us out at 12midnight and there were still quite a no. of ppl.I did not do the usual table to table photo-taking, except for family members and my frens were like ´Pris! we waited 30mins to take a photo with you, we´re going to take a photo with u by hook or by crook´ hahahz....

Anyways,i´m leaving for my honeymoon on wednesday to krabi and will be there for 19 days.... Finally a break! Husband and i have not had a break in a long long time. From the time i ended work 1 week b4 wedding, the europeans started coming to singapore.... so 1 week b4 wedding and 1 week after, we were playing hosts to them and basically tiring ourselves out. They are the typically, let´s party and we don´t have to sleep ppl. Adding to the fact that there were like 12 of them in total it was crazy madness. When the last one left last saturday midnight, we were both heaving a big sigh of relief. And I moved house on thursday too, so now i am staying with my fren´s parents house (for free) since we will be studying and are not working.... its a condo unit along bt timah road and we haf private bathroom attached to our room... its super nice very hotel style.... they just renovated the house, truly thank God so much for all that He has blessed us with....

My photos will be posted on my website soon... will keep u guys posted......

ALl the best with the wedding preparations... Its good to outsource the responsibilities... thats wat i did in the last week...cos i was so overstressed that i just could not do it by myself....so i just hands off and really thank God that I did that. Cos i got a fever 2 days before my wedding and was scared stiff. And had red eye on my wedding day! Was like putting eyedrop and it was still blood-red....so i prayed `God if u take this red eye away, i will not be anxious about the day anymore and will leave everything to yr good hands´and it worked! I was really calm and peaceful for the rest of the day....

 

[gottliebt]

Oh and one more thing, thanks so much for the prayer support and e-card Mrs N! Plus all the nice greetings that each of you sent to me... you gals are simply awesome....let´s keep in touch yeah!

 

[mrs_n]

Priscilla sounds like you had a beautiful fairy-tale wedding and God was with you every step of the way. Really pleased that everything went well for you.

You certainly deserved a well-earned rest after these hetic few months. Enjoy your honeymoon.

God Bless
Sx

 

[pinkcandy]

Priscilla: Congrats! hahaahaa ur wedding sounds so perfect! hope it went well and enjoy that honeymoon (19days!).

great everythings working out well

 

[mrs_n]

Tis a bit quiet on here this week, isnt't it?

Guess Cuclainne got's plenty to do with the 'banquet' coming up soon.

With Priscilla and Cuclainne happily married, who's next on the list that we can cheer on?

Squeakers is towards the end of year, so is it de luxe or pink candy or liz next?

 

[cuclainne]

Mrs N

Hahahah! I'm back! Not much to do with the banquet really but just trying to deal with having the hubby's family in Singapore. They arrived on Thursday night so have been out with them a bit. I also shopped for a dress to wear during the dinner - managed to find one without much hassle. Phew!

 

[pinkcandy]

hehehe nooo im not so soon either. My rom's in may, and my AD's in Nov. so who's next?

 

[mrs_n]

Aha Cuclainne, I see you've taken on a second job as a tour guide!

Your hubby's family must be really pleased to be in S'pore and in the warmth. We had a cold weekend with a little bit of snow. Had frozen fingers while putting the washing out yesterday. Thought it was going to be a nice day with sunshine but half hour later it started to snow! So in comes the washing again, this time hubby had frozen fingers. Hee! Hee! Glad you found something nice to wear.

Pink Candy, you still have some months to go, how's preps coming? Looks like it could probably be de luxe next as hers is in July. Wow, so excited for everybody here.

Have you girls thought of how to address your in-laws after marriage? Usually our local custom is to address them as 'mum & dad' but with europeans/caucasians I'm not too sure. I've been married for more than 5 months and still don't quite know what to call my PILs.

Before marriage, I used to call them 'Aunty' & 'Uncle' but after marriage??? We refer to them as 'Dad & Mum' when they aren't around and in b'day or christmas cards etc. I thought I would take my cue from BIL's wife and SIL's husband but BIL's wife calls them by their first names which I feel uncomfortable with and after calling them 'Aunty' & 'Uncle' it seems a tad rude while SIL's husband calls them 'grandma' & 'grandad'!!! Don't know why he does that, maybe b'cos of his kids. Anyway, I can't possibly call them that!

I haven't really been in a situation where I had to address them personally yet, and hadn't thought about this for a while but know its got to start somewhere sometime.

 

[cuclainne]

Mrs N

Yes, they are rather pleased to be in the warmth and armed with SPF60 sunblock, they have been out a lot! Hahahaha! They've been in Malaysia for two days now so we're only left with hubby's younger brother who is staying with us. He is a year younger than me and he goes off to do his own things so it doesn't really bother me and the hubby.

Yes, my maid of honor said I should have that particular dress. It's a 'galaxy' dress and she was going on about how most Hollywood stars are wearing it now cos it's very forgiving on most shapes (make almost everyone look very shapely). We liked the dress so much that she got one for herself too. Hahahaha! Not wearing it at the same time though ...

I've addressed my in-laws by their first names since I was introduced to them last year.. I don't think they are used to being called 'Aunty' and 'Uncle' as is our local custom. Even when I address letters, I write down their first names .. though the hubby's mom has referred to us as her children in public. Hahaha! The hubby calls my dad, 'Sir' (so formal!) and he tries to avoid calling my mother because he said he's not sure what to call her. Hahahaha .. my mom would be happy enough to have him call her 'Mom' but I don't think he's comfortable with that yet.

 

[freakyfairy]

cuclainne Oooh your dress sounds really nice! hehe care to share a picture of it with us?

Same as cuclainne, I've been addressing my FPIL by their first name since I was first introduced. I think I'll stick to that for now. It'll be so weird to call them mum and dad even though my fiance's SIL has been calling them that. My fiance has been calling my parents mum and dad too so I don't know if his mum is going to get upset that I don't greet her in the same manner

 

[mrs_n]

Cuclainne your dress sounds great. Yeah, you've got to put up a picture sometime. Bet you'll look lovely in it.

Hi freaky how are you? Well it certainly helps if you had a proper intro and know where you stand. I'm sure you FMIL won't mind either way if they aren't the conservative type.

Hee! Hee! I don't think I ever had a proper formal introduction with my in-laws. So really didn't know what to call them in the beginning too.

At their golden anniversary, I gave them a card and I wrote 'Aunty & Uncle' explaining to them that that was what I was going to call them if they don't mind. And they didn't, in fact FIL was quite pleased about it. He said he had never called his PIL by their first names either. So that's what basically puts me off calling them by first names (aside from me being uncomfortable with it too) but on the other hand don't want to appear to be 'currying favour' as hubby's SIL does it differently. Mind you my FIL is 86 and my MIL is 79 so what is norm now may not be norm to them. Oh well! We'll see. Hubby calls my parents by their first names but refers to them as 'Mum & Dad'. Maybe the best is to ask hubby what his mum called his grandma (his dad's mum) and take my cue from there.

Hey Cuclainne if your hubby calls your dad 'Sir', he could call your mum 'ma-am' (kind of short for madame) - sounds a bit like mum eh?

 

[gottliebt]

hihi gals

I'm writing this from Krabi - where I'm having my honeymoon now... hee. My wedding photos are up on the website, www.stephanpris.com Can check them out! Hope the server is fine, cos I didn't seem to be able to enlarge them when I clicked on them.

You gals r so farnie... about how to call yr FIL and MIL. I had the same problem too...they started calling me "children" after we got married (at least in the card they gave us) and hubby and I had a little debate on whether he or she should ask FIL and MIL if it was ok if I called them "Dad" and "Mom" respectively. In the end, he called them before they left for Thailand and asked them on my behalf. They sound like they would be pretty pleased if I did call them that and his Mom was kinna crying again when she found that I wld like to call her Mom.

I haven't actually done it personally since they are back in germany now. Wld probably do them only in September.... think it wld be pretty emotional for me too, since I don't have any biological mother now.....

Anyways, honeymoon is pretty nice. Been resting quite a bit and lazing around... staying at a second hotel now and its pretty nice, like a little cottage surrounded by trees.... Going to scout around for a snorkelling trip with seafood dinner at night..... so far, days are spent having breakfast, sleeping and waking up for dinner. hahaz...not having lunch is saving us quite a bit of money. But things here are pretty cheap so that's good. A lot of white ppl in Krabi. Feel like I'm the minority here, even when i consider the thai ppl. Sometimes get stares from ppl who i guess are wondering if i'm a Thai girl "going out" wif a white guy if u know wat i mean...

Have another 12 days here.... looking forward to it. =)

Keep the posts coming up!

 

[cuclainne]

Hi freaky ...

I bought it from Dorothy Perkins. I am a little apprehensive that people might perceived it as something ominous cos it's black but we're not superstitious at all so I assumed it is ok.

Mrs N

I did tell him that my mom would love it if he called her Mom but I didn't get any response from him so I'm still waiting.

Priscilla

Hey girl! Congratulations on your wedding and I hope you're enjoying your honeymoon right now.

 

[freakyfairy]

Hi Mrs N, I'm doing good now, apart from I just found out that the venue I was hoping to get for my wedding was taken for some renovation work. It's supposed to be available for booking only two months in advance so that was a bit of a shock. But luckily Burkill Hall is still available so I think we'll go for that instead. At least now I can do my invite without worrying too much about the location

hehe my FH had trouble starting to call my parents mum and dad so he's greeting them in mandrian instead. I think my FMIL would love to have me call her mum cos she did mention that it was weird having her other DIL calling her mum before their wedding but still great to hear it.

priscilla, sounds like you are having a good time in Krabi. I saw a few pics in the Style Wedding Mag and it looks like a great place to go. haha I do sometimes feel like people are staring at me trying to figure out if I'm "going out" with a white guy as well when I'm out with my FH, especially at those more dodgy neighbourhood area. I just saw your pics. You and your hubby looks so sweet together!

cuclainne, I'm thinking of getting a black dress for the morning of my wedding as well hehe. I read somewhere that wedding gown used to be in any colour so long as the material is good. I'm sure a black wedding gown would look so nice on anyone.

 

[mrs_n]

Looks like you girls are starting a fashion trend here. Black wedding dress - Classic!!!

Its seems quite common to have coloured wedding dresses now. I've seen some photos of brides in red, burgundy, gold and even blue. Not seen any bride in black yet ... so you'll be the first. Hey Cuclainne! Maybe you'll get into the guinness book of world records or something like that for being the first bride to wear black. Could be the talk of the town ... you'll never know. I think if you accessorize it with something else or carry a bouquet of flowers it might be ok and won't look ominous.

Freaky when is your wedding? Can't be long if you're going to do your invites soon. Hee!Hee! I think its easier to call PIL as 'mum' or 'dad' in another language other than the one we are used to.

You still have time to sort that one out. Your FMIL sounds nice though.

Lovely photos Priscilla, you & Stephan look very happy.

Enjoy the rest of your honeymoon, the place sounds Sunny & HOT! Lucky you, its so gloomy here

, looks like the sun has gone on holiday to Krabi! Hard to ignore the stares sometimes but that's just life. Something we've got to put up with by marrying 'white' guys. Ha! Ha! Maybe we could get them fake tans so that they'll look more local!

 

[freakyfairy]

Mrs N My wedding is on the 9th July hehe I've been working on the invites since Feb. Silly me proposed to do a box invite and little did I know one invite would take me over half a day to make! Luckily there's only around 40 invites to do. My FMIL is a nice lady, very motherly. She's quite a chatty lady though and I come from a quiet family so it takes a while to get used to it.

Black dress is going to make any bouquets stand out so well! I saw a gown from Amanda Lee I think that has black flowers embroidered on which looks so stunning!

 

[freakyfairy]

I found a picture of an unfinished invite hehe Going to put a ribbon at the base of the box to help lift the invite out.

 

[mrs_n]

Freaky, your invites look really nice and unique, aren't you clever.

How many have you made so far?

Hee! Hee! Your FMIL sounds a bit like my MIL, very chatty and motherly. You will notice how quiet the room is when she is out. PIL used to live next door to us but moved out last year. My hubby's brother and his family live next door now. So its no surprise to find my MIL on our doorstep unexpectedly every now and then. She likes visiting the village, which has been her home for over 40 years, seeing her grandkids and catching up with all her friends. In fact, she knows more about what goes on in the village than I do.

Talking of black. We went to see cars last weekend, didn't know that there were so many shades of black!

 

[freakyfairy]

Mrs N thank you hehe I work in advertising and there are lots of packaging books lying around the office. I've been stealing ideas from there sssh. I've done all 40 of the inside boxes, left with 40 more covers and all of the inserts. Hanging on there.

haha everytime when my FMIL isn't in, the whole place just feels so eerily quiet. Where about are you staying now?

 

[mrs_n]

Hi Freaky sounds like a lot of work but fun. Do you have to make envelopes too? I think its nice to make some of the things yourself. Wish I could have done the same for mine but didn't have much spare time last year. Certainly was one crazy year! Seems traditional in my hubby's family that milestones happen in the same year. When his brother and sister got married they had their weddings 6 months apart within the same calendar year. So in keeping with family tradition, we had to throw in 3 'house' moves and a wedding all within the space of 365 days.

Oh well, with everything happening last year, we can probably RIP for the next few years (I think).

I'm living in North Wheatley, a village just outside Retford in Nottinghamshire. About a 45 min drive east of Sheffield.

 

[jessicatan]

Hi everybody,
Can I asked if anyone can help me out with this question. I am getting marry next month to a Swiss man and am wondering if anyone of you has change your surname? What are the procedures? Please advise. Thank you

 

[freakyfairy]

Hi Mrs N, it is actually quite fun making the invites

Was a bit of a headache to start with cos I forgot to put the thickness of the cover into account so all the measurement were wrong. The box is about 2cm thick which makes postage a bit costly (something I didn't think about before hand oops) so I'll be handing out the invites personally therefore I don't have to make envelopes (phew!). I'm thinking of making my own ring pillow as well but see how I go with the invites first haha.

Wow! Sounds like a busy year for the family! I always wanted to travel up north but never got the chance to. It's pretty cold up there isn't it? I heard it snowed a little in Hertfordshire when it's supposed to be getting warmer by now.

Hi jessica, I'm thinking of changing my surname as well. I believe Mrs N mentioned that you couldn't remove your surname and your hubby name could be added into your IC as a second name or something. Correct me if I'm wrong.