Annulment vs Divorce... lost on what to do...

[outoutout]

Dear fellow forumers,

Currently I am in a fix; my wife has served me writ for annulment/alternatively divorce with the reason being non-consummation of marriage. So i need to respond over the next few days.

1. Our marriage went into a period of rocky times cos i got into a relationship with a fellow colleague. My wife keep questioning me, but i wanted to keep things under wrap and have already moved on in the affair. She later found out but was very forgiving and wanted to move on with life together n build a stronger marriage. But that changed over the recent months.
2. Although we have not been staying together, the fact is we did consummate our marriage. So the statement in the writ is definitely wrong. It is against conscious to lie, and lying is perjury in court.
3. So I am thinking that instead of annulment, to go for separation then divorce. But i still hope for that miracle that our marriage can be saved.
4. I still love my wife, but i know she wants to move on. She has many suitors after her now and she is enjoying her singlehood. She wants to get her single status back. Sometimes i feel she has a new love; though she say it is just friendship.


so with the above, what should i do? i am at a lost. any good lawyer to recommend? i also wonder if i contest her writ for annulment, will she get sued in court for perjury since we did consummate our marriage.

thanks to all for your advice...

 

[outoutout]

oh just to add, we have ROM since 1+yr back. we have a resale flat as well, but yet to move in. i understand that if annul or divorce, most likely i can only get back 90% of open mkt value or 95% of selling price whichever is lower.

 

[wiggly_toes]

She has moved on. Let her go.

 

[gin]

outoutout,
pardon me, u r the one at fault now...y do u wan to keep her with u? to me if a guy ever have an affair behind my back, i will not be able to forgive this person...it cause a deep cut in her heart...

With regards to non-consummation of marriage,...if u read from other post...who can verify whether has it been consumate or not?

 

[outoutout]

yeah, i understand I was the one who caused the hurt. i have repented and want to provide a wonderful marriage. been going for counselling on my own, but my wife refused to join in.

i know no one can verify, but then it means to lie. it is against my conscious.

 

[texasholdem]

u hav disgrace men

 

[gin]

outoutout,
I went for counselling hoping my ex husband will change his attitude towards supporting our family..in the end...he also din change at all...so now we are divorcing...
R u sure u will change? Pardon me again...cos my ex husband disappoint me again and again and lie alot of times...

 

[infojunkie]

she's done wif u..
so end it nicely, as a parting gift for her...
and move on...

 

[clipperjunk]

strange that this lie would cause your conscience to be pricked but it didn't when you fooled around, just take it that you owe her and let her get on with her life........

 

[findingnemo]

Why be in a fix since u are the one who is unfaithful in the first place?

You had an affair and happily expect that your wife to welome you back with open arms.

Why make things difficult for her by wanting a divorce when an annulment is possible?

I want to laugh when you said "it is against conscious to lie". Didn't you lie to your wife big time when you had the affair? Where is your conscience?

Please, release her and let her have her single status back.

 

[greyarea]

out,
do her justice by agreeing to annulment.. nowadays it's very common for people to lie to settle for annulment. i think you're holding back because you still want her back. but you have hurt her too deep to win her back.. pls let her go and cherish the next gf that comes along.. annulment is good for you and her. both of you have the single status back.

 

[outoutout]

i understand that everyone felt i have done her wrong first.. and that holding her back seems not correct.. but i feel my wife still concerned abt me and thus i hope we can work things out... i understand that it seems selfish of me to do that, but i really hope to work things out

 

[gin]

outoutout,
Perhaps you have a heart to heart talk with her again. It's really up to her to decide whether to give you any chance or not.
I heard from Class 95 this morning on the topic "What are the reasons will make you leave your spouse?" and most ladies felt that cheating is untolerable...Anyway I been thru this...
Ask yourself in the first place WHY did you choose to get out of 'track'? If it is out of 'fun'...then I guess there is no reason for her to stay...cos you are not ready to settle down actually...if it is due to some issues ie she cant satisfy you somewhere...or watever...then u shld let her know yr reasons.
That's so much we can say but ultimately if she still chooses to leave, please let her have her status back...

 

[strawberry_love]

if u keep her by ur side, her heart isn't with u...

will u be happy?

 

[outoutout]

thanks for all the comments..
i will talk to my wife and hopefully be able to make a much better decision with her...

 

[onegoal]

Bro, sorry to hear your problem.

Hope the website below helps

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/adult-discussions-about-sex/40761-all-you-need-know-about-marriage-divorce-under-sg-law.html

Please move on. No point looking back.
Grass is greener sweeter, more nutriesious else where. ;-)

 

[mark78]

"nutritious"
wtf.. Stop reinventing English my dear boy...

 

[onegoal]

sorry, lazy to do spell check. i just agar agar.
type then post....

 

[applepie2]

out3,
Find u r so hypocritcal! U say is against your conscience to lie ?? when u are unfaithful to her, u ve already "lie" to her in that way..lie can be in words or action. In your case is action, and lying thru cheating...Feel disgusted u say "against my conscience to lie"!

Also, u r the one who do her wrong first, and if u expect to be forgiven so readily , find u r just being very insensitive. U shd reap what u sow.

If ur wife prefer annulment, i think u shd grant her that wish IF u love her so that she can start her new life. As someone has said above, some do lie to annulment, so what's the big deal ? if this white lie can give your wife the life she want after you have hurt her so much, give her then cos u do wrong first and u shd take whatever throw back at you.

 

[roomfulofstars]

Maybe your wife is trying to avoid to uglier "divorce on grounds of adultery" so she opted for annulment to save the both of you some drama.

"Divorce on grounds of adultery" won't be a lie already, right?

 

[morekisses512]

Please be kind and go ahead with the Annulment.

As a woman, I know how it hurts to be betrayed by your Love one. Let her move on with her Life, regain her unmarried status!

 

[thommy]

If she has no more love for u, it's better to let her go honestly. U will look more gracious in doing so too.

 

[simpleman]

outoutout,

You are just a hypocrite.

Betrayal is the ultimate lie already.

 

[sella]

I think she wants the annulment because she dun want her status to be a "Divorcee". It is a big difference. After annuled, your status is "Single". After divorce, "divorcee". Maybe you should consider her feeling as she is a lady... Divorcee doesn't sound nice (no offence to other divorcees out there).

 

[simpleman]

marsella,

it is not about whether to sound nice or not.. it is very shallow..

 

[texasholdem]

s***, if the status mean so much, then y do it in the first place for some women?

 

[bellethel]

I think Annulment would be a better choice for the both of u. SImple and short, cut the legal cost also. Divorce u still need to wait for 3 yrs, why waste the time if u can choose not to?