Advice needed!

[lovingd]

Dear all,

I have this gf recently who is a divorcee.. we realised that we can hit out very well and able to communicate effectively.

It seems like we have known one another for a long time ... and we are so deeply in love.. I do not mind her history and am determined to make her my future partner but the thing is I m currently in debt of about 30k due to last failed business.

I hold a decent stable job currently and is still in the early stages of repaying for my debts.. i do not know whether should i tell her about this or to wait till i settled the debts..

I love her a lot but am afraid she might leave me after knowing these...

hope for some sincere advice pls.. thanks

 

[jenny_lim]

it's better u tell her now then later. At least u will know whether she mind or not before making future commitment

 

[susanna_low]

It is failed biz nt as though gambling, she will understand.

 

[cococherry]

I find it safe to let her know, 30k isn't a lot of monies and you are already taking decent steps to clear your debts. If she truly likes you, she won't mind when The debt wasn't due to gambling or bad spending habit.

 

[soisuka]

It depends if she is on the same page as you. If you haven't dated long, some people might consider this move a bit fast. Like wah just dating only, you already think about future. Some people find this stressful. But if you've been dating for some time and/or she feels the same way about you, it shouldn't be too big a deal as long as she knows you're taking active steps to clear the debts.

 

[susanna_low]

Everything goes well now coz it's the honeymoon period.

If knowing the truth n she can't accept, in a good sense that dun waste each other time too. At least it makes both of u understand each other better.

 

[powder]

there's no need to hide debts incurred from a failed biz... nothing to hide nor be ashamed abt. a larger ratio of businesses fail, and out of those that make it, less than half are profitable... so your success rate was low to begin with. ultimately, it is what u have gained from the failed venture and how it only cost u 30k of debts... which to me is a rather good bargain, becos it only takes 2-3yrs to clear.

dun bee stigmatised by failure the way that most sporeans have been thought to avoid... u did well to summon the thought of the unthinkable and do something to increase your finances... it was risky, and u took the risk. u did not get a good result, but u got a common result... nothing wrong with that.

if u can't reconcile with the mistakes of your past, u are never gonna be able to move forward. it's a cheap 30k lesson, accept it, be thankful, and Live On...

if u spoke of your failed business like me... which girl will despise u except those who have lived little of this life?

be brave, dun be ashmaed or feel this something to hide... Live, Date, Love... this is Life!

 

[scopefun]

You are not rushing into marriage now, so don't need to tell her so much. By the time you got married, maybe the debt long gone liaoz. LOL~

In Chinese: 多此一举.

When there is no need to complicate things, don't.

 

[infojunkie]

"I love her a lot but am afraid she might leave me after knowing these..."

well chances of her leaving are 50-50

anyway, she did come clean abt her marital status to pre-empt any potential misunderstandings between the 2 of u. and i think u should do ur part by letting her know of ur financial woes.

honestly, a 30k debt is not that scary lah...

dun worry

 

[simpleman]

If you can manage your debts.. I don't see why you need to let her know the details.. On the other hand really no harm in letting her know..

It is not a big issue in having debts provided we are able to handle it... Not only debts due to failed businesses.. even say gambling debts and others.. at long as you know how and have a set dateline to resolve the issue - it shouldn't be much of an issue.

 

[tomasulu]

Do u wanna be with someone who can't see beyond a $30k debt? Seriously I don't understand why people have such low expectations for their life partners.