Advice needed.. help plsss..

C

chelody

New Member
Hi guys, i like to ask if a couple going through annulment can have last minute changes?

Cause my bf wants me to go to a wedding dinner in June with him. But his ex-wife whom he is going through annulment will be going as well. Their court hearing for the annulment is in July and the wife is supposed to attend. I'm worried that the wife upon seeing me will suddenly disagree to the annulment as my bf had a hard time getting her to sign the annulment papers previously.

My question is, will the wife be able to disagree to the annulment when the papers have been signed and she have to go to court hearing soon. Can the annulled couple have their own partner during this period of seperation or they are still legally wedded.

Sorry i'm really at a loss as i ask my bf to consult the lawyer but the lawyer was engaged by the ex-wife and cannot be bothered or too busy to revert to my bf. Now i'm contemplating whether to go to the dinner as i do not wanna screw things up just before the court hearing.
 


If you are not comfortable going to the dinner, then just tell him you do not want to go...it is just one wedding dinner, there will be many more you can attend with him when the two of you are finally together after the annulment of his marriage...
 
U shouldn't attend the wedding dinner in this case. Be a bit more sensitive to your bf ex's feelings. Other mutual friends may gossip about u three at the dinner since your bf is not officially separated from her in the eyes of law yet. You may hear nasty things like you are the third party into their marriage. Skipping the dinner will lessen your worry ;)
 
I wish you happiness
happy.gif


http://www.singaporebrides.com/forumboard/messages/5/1044752.html?1241594141#POST3603296

http://www.singaporebrides.com/forumboard/messages/5/947544.html?1235715008#POST3474300
 
Wow.. Do i know u plan B or do u know me plan B? U actually manage to track my previous posts.

I'm a complicated person and so is my life. I'm a divorcee and so is my current bf who is going through annulment. I did not mean to break up the marriage for sure as he was my best friend. Same goes for the wife who used to be a friend of mine too.

This is the reason why i did not want to attend the wedding too as i think i will hurt the wife. On another note it may just screw things up for my bf. It's such a torture to be battling with myself tat i am a 3rd party and yet my marriage was broken up by a 3rd party. Worse still i can't trust my bf and i cannot forgive myself.

but feelings are so hard to control when it's someone so close to u. I think i should not go to the june wedding and just let things remain as what they are. Maybe that's the best things should be.
 
So you are a complicated person
lame.gif


What makes you think that yours is a unique case and others not? And fancy calling others "B***h" when you're guilty as one?
nono.gif


I don't have issues with "third party", but I despise hypocrisy.

Anyway, care to leave your email so that others can safeguard their husbands/BFs from you?
 
I'm not being hypocrite i'm in a dilemma. U tink it feels good to be in my current situation. My ex hb was also smittened by some nightclub girls. But do they have any basic fundamentals to be mentioned?

It's solely built on lust and money. I am a 3rd party no doubt on that. If u want my e-mail by all means u can have it. But ur private msg is set not to receive msgs. Otherwise i'll be more than glad to send u my e-mail. If u wan it pls on ur private msgs coz posting it here i'll be so busy getting scoldings.
 
I really don't get what u mean?

I really get fed up over 3rd party, and fed up over the fact that i am a 3rd party. I'm a BITCH i know but i really am in a dilemma too.

I got to be with the one i love but i cannot trust. And i hurt his wife a friend of mine. I am unhappy too. If not i will not be posting asking for help. I depise myself too for being something i HATED MOST. But i did it afterall.
 
u should be able to see the logic and wisdom in Not going for this wedding dinner...

u know, even if u had made plans to go mexico, cancelling the trip due to the virus and then rescheduling it til when all this blows over... is not too late.

unless the bride n groom are your buddies, i see no real reason for u to attend except to let pple know u guys are an item, which in such case is Also a bad idea cos u're not the stars in that wedding.

time to grow up, having been thru a wedding n now part of a party to an annuling marriage should give u enough warning signs to wise-up abit.

u know those pple who constantly make the wrong decisions over n over again? u're in danger of becoming one such person... so pls think with your head.
 
yes i do know that of course. it's gonna be an awkward situation for me my bf and his wife.

right from the start i never wanted to go but bf insisted on me going. only reason of me wanting to go is i do not want to leave my bf alone to face all the sacarsm n critics at the dinner. it feels better to have someone with you in facing all this fingers pointing at you.

I wished no one take notice of us, especially his ex wife my ex friend. I have no wish of letting ppl see that we are an item as it is an open secret. I just don't wanna leave my bf alone to face e music.

I only have 3 more weeks to the wedding and i cannot think of a good reason to reject my bf. Telling him i care more about how his ex wife thinks instead of how he feels? As an mature adult he should understand. But understanding and not being upset by it is a different thing. I really feel so helpless when i see him me and his ex wife.

I do not know in my position how can i make things a little less complicated
 
ya rite, i'm sorry but i'm not impressed at all. if either of u think tat pple are gonna go to a wedding and focus their attention on him or u, then u guys are more self-absorbed in your own story than the world is interested in.

u can copy wat i write and show it to him.

it's abt time the 2 of u realise that u're not the main leads in other pple's eyes except your own. and if u're in love and u feel right abt Everything, then u won't even let it be an issue to bother u. and if u decide to let it bother u and u know that u're not wrong, then u're overly indulgent in your own story.

hey, u only really see it in tv serials where pple point to a 3rd party and make a big hooha during events... other than that, i doubt anyone's gonna take notice. although some pple will be curious to find out...

biggest consolation is - the kaypo ones are pple u would not consider as frens in the first place. so why bother pleasing pple who dun actually matter to u, or go to a wedding that dun matter to u, or agree to the request of your bfren who seems to be rather thoughtless at this point of time...

seriously, who actually goes wedding with partners nowadays unless u know the couple themselves, or it's relatives...

the only reason he wants u there is to show that he has moved on or is doing ok, so as far as i see it, the reasons are Not wat u're stating. and by the way, even if he faces critics, u think u are able to open your mouth and Win over the audience and suddenly the world is gonna understand???

and face wat music? is being together Wrong? if u feel that way abt it yourself, then how are u to convince others that u're not? and how are u ever gonna go thru obstacles in future?

honestly we've all been in love. and when u're in love, u dun really give a sh!t abt wat others think... but what i do see is that u guys are self-absorbed in your own story and have got a point to prove.

reflect on that and Not only will u never have an issue with weddings, u'll never have an issue with being together.
 
fyi, u can tell him u dun think it's a good idea to go...

no point talking abt being mature adults n being upset in the same breath. nobody has ever really died from being momentarily upset... and u choose to not let him be momentarily upset, but u're ok with making a royally bad decision in going to the wedding with him and have him More than momentarily ridiculed (if pple actualy bothered to make u guys the stars)
 
Chelody :

If you are in a marriage, do you want a 3rd party, esp ur friend to break up your marriage ?

Now, if your friend really become a 3rd party in your marriage, DO YOU hope to see her going with your husband happily to a wedding dinner that you are going ?

What goes around, comes around.

Also, if you do not wish to go, just tell your friend's husband ( ie ur present bf). If he loves you, he will respect your decision, why you have to "walk left just cos he say walk left and keep to the right just cos he say so ? "

And as you say, your bf 's wife, is once your friend, should you not be sensitive to her feeling and be such a "shameless showy" ?

I am surprise, that being a 3rd party, you still dun feel shameful to go and still thinking about what " I just don't wanna leave my bf alone to face e music"
 
Chelody,

"I do not know in my position how can i make things a little less complicated"
The solution is simple, waiting for you to execute it.

Please correct me if I'm wrong... I doubt you are going to the dinner for the sake of going thick & thin with your bf. You seem to be going because you want to portray a "perfect gf" image to your bf and you are worried that people will approach him to influence his decision on his annulment at the dinner??
 
I know he'll not change his decison on the annulment and that was not my intention for going.

I will not go since it's e more sensible thing to do. I should really spare a thought for his ex wife, my friend.
 
Chelody :

Other than being sensible..is also about being kind /considerate/sensitive to your friend's feeling...

Legally, they are still husband & wife now. So u cant say is his ex wife.

Even, in any case, IF they decide not to annul their marriage, is still their rights. As a friend, u can only give them ur most sincere blessings if the latter happens...Note, I say IF.
 
yah, spare a thought for the wife (legally not EX yet), ur friend...

so different from ur initial statement... so nice of u...

ur first post:

"Hi guys, i like to ask if a couple going through annulment can have last minute changes?

Cause my bf wants me to go to a wedding dinner in June with him. But his ex-wife whom he is going through annulment will be going as well. Their court hearing for the annulment is in July and the wife is supposed to attend. I'm worried that the wife upon seeing me will suddenly disagree to the annulment as my bf had a hard time getting her to sign the annulment papers previously.

My question is, will the wife be able to disagree to the annulment when the papers have been signed and she have to go to court hearing soon. Can the annulled couple have their own partner during this period of seperation or they are still legally wedded.

Sorry i'm really at a loss as i ask my bf to consult the lawyer but the lawyer was engaged by the ex-wife and cannot be bothered or too busy to revert to my bf. Now i'm contemplating whether to go to the dinner as i do not wanna screw things up just before the court hearing."
 
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