Actual Day -- wat should happen?????

G

going_nutz

New Member
I am going to have the tea ceremony cum wedding reception on sunday 18th june.... but i have no idea what should happen during the tea ceremony like giving of ang paos or what have u... what is this pin jin about??????

plus, is it a must that my parents keep the ang pao for their tables????

am really going nutz.. n the worse is that husb not helping!!!! urgh!!!
 


Hi going nutz

tea that u serve to the elderly - u receive ang pow
tea that u drink from the younger - u give ang pow

it up to ur parents if they wanto keep the ang pow a not... rightfully, they'll hv ownership of the ang pow for the tables given to them.. however, there's oso a lot of parents who didnt take them and give them back to the couples...
 
hi going nutz,

pin jin is dowry.. and its given at least 2 weeks before the AD during GDL. amt depends on your parents... if your hubby side gives your parents say $4888, your parents can take $1888 and return the rest... this is of cos just a guide.. tyically brides' parents take abt 1/3 to 1/2...
 
hi going nutz,

hope i am not too late.

about who to keep ang pao got a few situation:
1. groom's parent paying for groom's side and bride's parent asking for 10 tables. then it would be groom's parents keeping groom's side ang pao and bride's parent keeping the 10 tables money. (traditional way)

2.groom and bride will pay for the tables. then if you got understanding parents then they will let you keep (modern way)
 
Hi Everyone,

I have something on my mind that I hope to share here, hopefully can get some advice as well.

I will be holding a church wedding and was intending to hold the tea ceremony at the church.
However, my PILs suggested to hold the tea ceremony at an earlier date.their reasoning is that the family is very big and afraid that the time is not enough. Our AD will be ard Late 2007, and she is thinking of holding the tea ceremony ard this year. thinking of having a buffet at one of the relative hse and then followed by a tea ceremony. we have already ROM, but didnt invite all the relatives, so they thinking that we can hold this and announce to them..

my concern is that whether this is the right procedure? i assume that tea ceremony is only done during AD.
if tea ceremony is held one day before AD, i am still ok.
but now, its one year ahead! to me, it serves no purpose and no symoblic meaning.

pls advise me as to whether this kind of arrangement is right and if not right, how do i go about telling them?
I am really not keen on this idea, whereas FH is very neutral abt it.
 
hi linda,

hahaha. its so weird to have tea ceremony and the church wedding on dates so far apart! i support your idea that its not cool and u need your hubby to convey to your ILs that its not a nice thing to do... tea ceremony & church need to be on the same day....

suggestions:

1) whole morning: gate crashing at your place, then to his house for tea ceremony + buffet. everything need to end say by 1pm, then have your church at say, 3pm.... Dinner will have to be on another day else you will be dead beat & you will have no time....

2) your hubby is the 'gate keeper'.. he need to tell your ILs that logistics need to be smooth. having buffet at another relative's house means soooo much more logistic nightmares for everybody.. unless tea cermony is at that relative's house...

cajole your hubby to be more on your side lah
happy.gif
 
Hi Minssy,

Thanks for ur advise and reply!
i was so relived to see ur reply. cause i dun really know if it can be done that way, but was thinking that it doesnt sound too right. luckily with ur reply, i am sure now. ;)

i find it so funny. i thot the older generation should be more aware of such customs and procedures, yet my side here are like ..... (can think of such funny stuff)

i was thinking of this program outline for AD:
1)gatecrashing at my place,
2)proceed to chruch ceremony, (on the way can maybe stop by to take photos?)10am
3)ceremony ends at 11am
4)tea ceremony for MIL and FIL side, end ard 12pm
5)buffet reception in church 12pm-2pm for relatives while we leave 1st. my family and relatives also need to leave to go back to my place at this time.
6)reach our new place ard 1pm, go thru some practices, then to leave by 1.30pm
7) reach my mum place by 2.00pm. tea ceremony ends ard 3.00pm
8) reach hotel for dinner banquet preparations by 4pm, go thru rehearsals
9) MUA to reach by 5pm
10) guests to reach at 7.00pm for cocktails
11) dinner starts at 7.30pm - 8.00pm and ends ard 11pm

wat do u think abt this arrangement? i was worried that if we hold it on 2 days, it will be very troublesome
 
hi linda,

1) your tea ceremony is gonna be in church ah? if yes, greenlight must be obtained cos some old folks do not like the idea... but it will be easier for logistics cos there will be less fetching around etc

please try to end your day stuff by 2 or latest 3pm... you need the time in the noon for refreshing/packing/preparing for nite... if you end so late, everyone will be really tired (not only you lor), and its not cool..

anyway, your AD is so far away, have the skelton out first.. the timing will be revised like 1000 times along the way when you think of something new....

and btw, dinner will NEVER start at 730pm.. its singapore u know
happy.gif
 
hi linda,

welcome..you have time lah.. no worries.. as you get closer and do more stuff, your time table will revise too
happy.gif
main thing is to get clear the 'big picture' on the timing of church + tea ceremonies..
happy.gif
 
hi linda, saw your postings. hmm since i started planning for my AD, coming 19-Nov, i realise actually a lot of things have to be done through constant communications between both yr parents & PILs and there is really no fix rules as to which shld come 1st and which comes later. maybe your parents just want to have some pre-wedding celebrations before your wedding.. haha..

but i saw that ur schedule is very packed. my 2nd sis is a christian bt she separate the whole events into 2 days and on both days, she looked so fresh in every photo shoot. i've also seen bride who had a schedule like yrs and by dinner time, she's looked so shag and haggard coz too tired running here and there.

so it all depends on urself n ur hubby.. can get some advice from your frds who are already married lo .. hehe
 
oh ya, juz to share, for me, my actual day event will be like this:

6am - gate crashing
7am - reach my PIL hse then rest awhile
8am - go outdoor photoshoot coz too early for tea ceremony.
11am - tea creemony then lunch
3pm - reach my own parents hse for tea ceremony
530pm - go restaurant for night make-up and prepare for 7pm cocktail reception.

as my mum see timing, so my gate crash is at 6am ... or even earlier coz i nid 15mins drive from my hse to my PIL hse and must reach my PIL hse before 7am .. hope the neigbors wont report police say noise pollutions! .. haha
 
I think abt 8am for gate crashing shld be ok..
8am -> Gate Crashing
9am to 9.30am -> leave to in laws place
10am to 12noon -> tea ceremony @ in laws place
12.30pm to 2pm -> tea ceremony @ ur parents place
2.30pm - 3pm -> love nest (if you have)
3pm to 4pm -> rest time to refresh etc
5pm -> reach hotel + make up etc
7pm -> cocktail start
7.30pm to 8pm -> dinner start
11pm -> dinner end

any opinion of the above schedule?
 
Hi minminmin, from wat i know, the traditional way is to return the roast pig 3 days after getting married, cos on the 3rd day, the bride is expected to return to her family.

However, nowadays, return can be done on the wedding day or the next day after wedding.
 
hi puroland,

i'm really impressed with the things that you have DIYed for your wedding.. when's your AD? in Sept? my wedding banquet will be held in a restaurant too, would like to DIY the menu insert and table number if time permits too. plus decorating the venue! let's share ideas!
 
Hi all,

I wont be having any gate crashing in the morning, so not having any jiemei or xiong di, in this case, do i need anyone to follow me to my inlaws hse?

Thanks.
 
Hi rosewhite

Will be having any helpers then? For eg. one of ur sibling? Its always better to have one helper to help u with wif ur gown or carry some barang barang like tissue paper, lipstick etc.
 
830am -> Gate Crashing
9am -> leave for in laws place, on the way do photo taking
9am to 11am --> photo taking
11am to 12noon -> tea ceremony @ in laws place
12 noon --> love nest to change into kua
12.30pm to 2pm -> tea ceremony @ ur parents place
2.30pm - 3pm -> back to love nest (to bring all photo albums)
3pm -> check in hotel to rest
5pm -> reach hotel + make up etc
7pm -> cocktail start
7.30pm to 8pm -> dinner start
11pm -> dinner end
 
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