A place to meet new friends / partners

CR=Chicken rice sweetie

Huh...then me with 2 hunks ah? wahahaha...i scared later no need eat chicken rice leh...
Somemore the rest haven confirmed...hehe
 


now i dun even have time to play viwawa
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I need games to sustain my life...wahahaha

The previous time, the "hunks" gave me a treat...pai say la.....lolz
 
oh,got new frd, yek yek yek,halo sky....enjoy ur stay here
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Eh noella,only 1 hunk 1 ah pek,no 2 hunk cos 1 mountain cannot hide 2 tiger.wuhaha.
 
thanks, sky.. this sat cant meet lah coz appointment with JP then been busy with signboard.. so nervous..
friends ar, recently my MIL bring up the topic that she wanna move in with us.. I dont want leh.. I am so scared, omg... nightmare leh..
noella, I apply for AED..hehehe.. went for interview on Mon liao..
 
I have been thru that. My flat wasn’t ready and I had no choice but to stay with my ex-FIL. MIL has passed away many years back. I thought I wouldn’t have any problem living with my ex-FIL and ex-BIL. After I moved in to live with them, I couldn’t get used to their lifestyle. The BIL was very untidy and I really hate it when he often did not flush the toilet and ‘sprayed’ all over the place! The FIL cooked for us everyday but they dun have the habit of sharing the dishes and had to portion out for everyone. The FIL was nice but he looked very stern (last time he was a teacher and disciplinary master). Most of the time I didn’t know what to say to him or what to do. Every time when I tried to help with housework, he said no need. Other than using computer, there was basically nothing much for me to do. Eventually I got so bored and started going out with my friends till wee hours. I don’t mind staying with FIL or MIL… but I guess I simply cannot get used to their lifestyle.
 
same as you.. mine is super long ah ma story.. share with u all when meet up.. I have told my htb that impossible to stay together with his parents.. if his mum really move in then I shall move out and stay with my family..
 
things are so different now... i'm getting along very well with my bf's family ... on the weekends I will wash my bf's clothes and iron for him... sometimes I will also help his mum to hang the laundry and fold the clothes.

Can't help to cook because I dun noe how... but I guess I need to learn from his mum.
BF says he will come home straight after work if my cooking can be as good as his mum... :P
 
hahaha, thanks ash.. can i bring him along to club too..hehehe

I think I can never be close with his entire family which includes his mum, dad and 2 elder sisters.. I cant accept his family upbringing, culture, living habits, ways of doing household chores..bla bla bla..
 
hehehee...

ling, everyone has different upbringing lor...
just close one eye...
think your situation almost like mine...
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ash, u so hard to please one ah??
think everyone got to bear with the bring up lor...
my hubby talk very bluntly and if you are in a sore mood, you get hurt badly... and I came to realise, all in the family behave the same way... and normally, his family consider as outsider. tink only my FIL consider me as family member... but it's ok... anyway i dun live with them, so pretend pretend lor... dun let my hubby b in difficut position...
 
I shut two eyes liao also cant leh...

erm, sometimes I really cant relax and take it easy, u know.. I find it so sad when I cant get along with my HTB side... They are not supporting at all!!! sometimes her mum is so super ridiculous.. We have not planned for our customary.. I have no idea how to go about doing it.. I cant imagine how things going to turn out..

okie, now let me share a few incidents with u all..It is a disaster when the very 1st time we brought up marriage. His mum and 2nd elder sis are not supportive and not encouraging. My HTB argue with them. Sis thought because I was pregnant. she sound so awful. Then purposely said so loud about her views. obviously she knows i am in the room. his mum worse. she is so worried that both parents wont stay with us when we move out then feel so sad. she doesnt seem very concern about what we want in our life and how we go about starting our family etc. she somehow only care about herself. i think she even shed tears. she is those very typical mother. anything also rely on son and my htb is the only son. faint!!! she questioned me y we have the intention to get married so fast then marriage is not as simple as what we think bla bla..even after what we share with her, she dont understand how we feel. I try my very best to explain to his mum but she doesnt seem to get it. well, i dont blame her because maybe thats her thinking process and her level of understanding and analyzing skills are that low. actually I will appreciate if she could be more positive and discuss with us and not just focus on her perspectives..

next, my family religion is Soka while his family is buddhism. but weird, his mum wants her funeral to go by Taoism law. The reason is ridiculous but i cant rem exactly what is it. nvm, thats not the issue. the issue is she doesnt want me to go thr Soka ceremony. how can she do that? selfish!!! dont respect my family!! she even have the cheek to tell my HTB that I am married into his family so I must follow his family rules. Gals, tell me how will u all feel?? Thats my family religion, if I dont go thr the religion ceremony.. then what for I hold customary wedding. his mum only want us to pay respect to their ancestors and go thr their side of ceremony.she expect that even after marriage, if we dont want the ancestor tablet or worship any god in our house then i also cant have soka as my religion. she says it's fair!!!

yah, abt number of tables now... we ask her how many tables she think she needs.. guess what? she said she not sure also. coz some may attend while some will not. so my HTB suggest why not she call or only invite who she wants to invite.. well, she answered in chinese: we dont call one... we just rougly rougly decide on the number of tables.. then if only invite who we want to invite then not nice. very pai seh.. compare to the tables she asked for last time during his sisters wedding and now diff, coz now ppl give birth lah etc etc.. -__- I am speechless.....

a lot of incidents lah.. cant finish saying.. so if have the chance, we can meet up then I share with u gals.. haha!! Btw, even my HTB has sisters but too bad they are not my type whom I will mixed with.. compare to my elder sis, they are far away from my expectations and standards..dont project that kind of sister imagine... her 2nd elder sis full of vulgarity.. can u imagine that her K1 son can use the F*** word in front of us.. I already told my HTB I wont stay close with his family and I wont let our kids to be under their care in future too..

gals, dont have to console me or give me any advice cause I have a set of strong family vaules. hoho, so I wont try to understand them too or try to communicate with his mum to change her way of thinking etc.. coz I dont want ended up misunderstand by them. I am very happy that I have a wonderful HTB..

lastly, is so bad that there is nothing abt them for my HTB to appreciate of or look up to. cause I ask him will he have any speech or anything to thank them.. he mentioned no and absolutely nothing at all.. i really feel sad for him.. but luckily my family is nice and dote him a lot..
 
Hi Ling,

Perhaps he is the only son that's why his mother wishes to stay with both of you after the wedding.

Is it possible to have the Soka ceremony at your side? and when you are over at his place then go thru their ceremony?? I'm a catholic and my BF's religion is buddhism. I told him that I will want to marry in church and he is okay with that. At most I will just pay respect to his ancestors over at his side. I dun mind doing that out of respect. I have obtained my civil annulment.. now I'm still trying to find a priest who can advise me on church annulment. Only then I can get married in the catholic church once again. I think your FMIL has no say in what you want to place in YOUR house. If you are staying in HER house, then you have to respect her decision. I'm glad that my bf is fine with me putting crucifix in the house.

As for the tables, your mil should be able to give a rough estimate based on no. of relatives and cousins... even those who are married you will be able to know how many kids they have. Otherwise if your HTB has cousins who recently got married, can check with them to get a rough estimate.

In the past my relationship with my parents wasn't that good... but ever since my annulment and me moving out and staying on my own, the relationship has improved greatly and they are now more understanding. My bf is a very filial son and he has a very loving family. But sometimes I feel that he is spoiling his younger brother and sister. He has a very young brother who is only in his primary 5 .. he gives him whatever he asks for....his sister too...
 
ling, think you have to move out with HTB so that you all wont have any problem...
haiz... SIL are hard to handle too...
my sil treat me coldly like outsider...
luckily she lives overseas...

talk it out to others, dun keep it in your heart.
if not, it's hard for you too...
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Hey ash. Do u have a power marriage counsellor to intro? This is my last chance, like u say.

If it fails, I will have to change my nick to eternalLOST liao

So pretty pretty please help
 
wah u so sweet.. i have emailed you the brochure...

for me I attended the one organised by the catholic church... If you don't mind, you can perhaps attend the Engaged Encounter.. more for married couples facing problems in their marriage.
 
yup, the only only only reason is because he is the only son.. faint!!!

his mum doesnt like the idea of us holding soka ceremony at all... nope, we wont be staying together.. actually my htb and I have decided.. if she cant compromise and be logical then forget it.. we wont hold customary cermony and any banquet..

she doesnt want to check.. coz she doesnt do that.. nvm at most, give her few tables.. too bad if there are more relatives.. if there are fewer relatives then she play us the extra tables..

for my case, I dont think things will improve.. seriously, she has the mentality that she will hug her son to death..
 
because I am staying in her house now and cause of my htb, i put her with her..
if not.. forget it.. I will draw a super clear line between his family and me..
 
Ling, i think it is okay not to have banquet. We spent so much on banquet, bridal studio, photography, etc... at the end of the day what do we get out of it?? Grandness that's all... Happiness is something money can't buy.
 
Ling, why dun u ask him to stay at ur place instead?? u mean u moving to his place after ROM?? When will ur place be ready??

Only when my place is done I will then think of holding the weddding. One more year before my place is done.
 
I feel that too.. but just hopw that we can share our joy with our friends and families etc..
well, our families sure dont agree..

wha, the moment I mention of his mum.. volcano erupt.. opps, u all just lend me listening ears okay.. hehehe
 
erm.. I dont have my own room.. I share room with my sisters so quite inconvenient for him unless he sleeps in the living room..

I have been staying at his house for a year plus.. We have bought an apartment so I am waiting for HDB 2nd appointment now.. he is leaving in April so after that I will move to my parents house and in charge of my new home renovation then move in to new home..

I am still okay with his mum now cause it's her house so I cant be bothered..I will only be at home when my htb is at home so no conflict.. dont worry, I wont be so stupid to quarrel with them.. My htb is the one who always does the talking

the thing is how can we stop her from staying with us.. I am so afraid that she will bring her clothings over and appear at our door step leh.. we are actually fine with staying with parents but the thing is we dont like her cooking and never will we coz not healthy, she has the habit of keeping everything but we are so fussy about cleaniness.. washing of clothes lah and so many many differences.. how to stay together?? of coz when she is old, I wont put her in nursing home lah..

btw, I am saying near my parents.. I have the feeling that she thinks that my mum and I are trying to snatch her son away..
 
because I have already stayed with his parents so we truly understand that it's impossible to stay together.. my htb only starts to stay at home frequently after we are together so now he sees the problems..

I have told my htb.. if his mum really insists in moving in with us when we have a new house.. I will sure under depresssion..
 
Is your HTB’s mum staying far from your new place? Otherwise you could perhaps visit her frequently? Is the sister married?? did he discuss this with his sister?

I think it is naturally that the mum wishes to move in with her only son...
 


his parents are staying quite far..
2nd elder sis married with 2 kids. 1st elder sis divorced then she has a bf now..
cant discuss cause his sisters wont give any good suggestions..

I understand that but how to stay together in harmony..
 
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