Hi Janie, I was just wondering if this cold call style of making new friends works or not. I know that from time to time the ladies in Singaporebrides receive PMs from some male forummers but how many of us have actually responded? If we did not, why not?
Doll, hmm...i've nv recd PMs from male forummers..but i do recd quite a bit of messages in my msn,friendster & facebook...& I've nv added any of them...
in my younger days...i do chat & meet up wif irc frens in group outings...during tat time..its juz purely for the fun of it...as i grow older...i became wary of people..of coz not all are 'bad' people lah..i still do keep in contact wif my irc frens tat i've known for more than 10yrs....
i guess its gotta do wif age? as we mature..it seems more difficult to open up or to noe 'new' friends all over again...unless i m realli comfortable toking to them....& comparing to younger gers...seems like they r totally fine with meeting a stranger for the 1st time & a 1-1 mitup...well..mayb the younger generation are more 'open' compared to us?
i dun meet up and has never met up people i know from irc... when i grow older i began playing online games, then i started meeting friends i met from the game.
Maybe i feel that i can take care of myself when i am older, hence i begin miting people.
When i was in secondary school, i was wary of people taking advantages of me, so i rejected miting friends from chatrooms even though i have knew them online for 1 or 2 yrs... keke..
I am not even thinking about the dangers of meeting people online as I believe that it is manageable as long as you keep the meet-ups at public places, best if you meet as a group. To play safe, you refrain from accepting rides or drinks till you get to know the person or group better.
People usually come together or start chatting when there is a common topic. Just find this "care to intro" line rather cold and odd. Quite unnatural way to meet new friends hor
Agreed tat it depends on individual...for me it was all for the fun of it when i was younger & so i tot even if after that 1 time gathering ppl lose contact its fine....but thankfully i got to noe a big bunch of nice ppl...& after i mature...i find myself in a difficult position to get to noe new frens..i mean...i wasnt a very approachable person to start with...with a chao bin & a blardee attitude prob..i tot im better off being left alone..hehehehe.....but if its a tok kok thread..i can realli tok kok lor...since no 1 noes me hehe..
yup doll...perhaps it works better if it didnt start with 'care to intro' mayb by starting a topic to chat works better
gd luck will come when we smile more? realli meh? hmm.....
i dun smile but i like to laff out loud leh...wif my frens lah....not like siao zhabor laff out loud for nutting lah...in fact i m those kind who can laff until cry 1 lor..got tears come out 1..laff out loud liao...feel sibeh shiok....tink i abit ki siao oso..haha
irc died long time ago isnt it?as age gett older our circle of frd get lesser...married de married attach de attach...so i think the best time is during school time...kakis everwhere...haha...altough its song but still wan to start this way of intro ...haha...it remind me of younger days too..
yah nosey i agree..especially around ord ...all bo chap and geng here n there..ns is full of wayang...still rmb when mas selamat escape...my unit was in alert red..but when nite come...all garang soilder n nsmen in the day all become slacker le...
isit because of ur work /job that make u have chance to meet around with different ppl?
I do believe that as we grow older, is quite difficult to find friends. I'm 31 this year and somehow or rather, I don't know where to meet new friends. (despite of job-related people). People at my age are either busy with their wedding or their newborn babies.
Finding a partner is even tougher.. I have experienced a failed marriage and when i disclosed to those males i got to know online or through friends, either they will stop contacting me or just treat me as a very normal friend (no intention to get to know me better).
Just because i had once a marriage, i don't have any more "rights" to find a 2nd relatonship. People seems to despite me on this.
what kind of ppl u want as friends?
My view is when you grow older (mature) you tend to gain valuable insights of life and able to handle rs/friendship better.
I wouldn't want fair weather friends or i should say those "hi bye" friends. Those rs are very untested and may not stand the test of time. If you really so desperate to make friends , take up some activities or academic course and be good in it. there'll be ppl flocking to ask you question /help. However once they exam is over, most of them will depart from your social circle and if you are fortunate, they will greet u when they meet u on the street.
Life can be lonely at time, but is it quality or quantity u are seeking? no body deem you as someone divorcee or failure who do not have rights for a 2nd relationship. Its a self defining status that you hung on yourself. Thus laden with this mindset you will not be able to achieve much. Every steps you make in getting to know friends, you already give a "fated judgement" thus u will never find friends.
seek quality rather than quantity. Once you able to attain certain qualities that include honesty and true to friend, u will be a human magnet that attract ppl to you.
i would like to echo wat yawn just said, would u be happy if u have a lot of "wine-meat" frens or a few true frens? when u really need them, these "wine-meat" frens will all disappear... it's better to do without them.
What u mentioned is a sad case, (sorry if i sound anti singaporean to u) Many Singaporeans still have that elitist attitude, when they look for frens/life partner they wan to look for those that do not embarrass them or rather those that can make them look good in front of their frens... in my opinion we should be looking for someone that is compatible to us.
Anyway i think there are still plenty of nice people around. Don't lose heart, take ur time, sometimes when u aren't looking, that thing suddenly turned up...
To me, if we are happy as friends then we remain as friends and do things together - movies, dinner, outings, holidays etc etc etc.. if not happy then don't go out with them .. simple
Mostly people are disappointed because they have too much expectations? I mean, I don't really have problem making friends - from young people in their early 20s to those in 40s..
It is good that some of them share common interest - like if you jog then find jogging friends, if you play mahjong find mahjong kakis, if you like nature find nature lovers; if you like mountain trekking find those similar; if you like photography then find the same kind; and if you have varied interests then very soon you have different groups of friends to do different things together.
To me, I have no expectations. If one group of friends are not free I go to the next. If none of them are free then I savour the me-time to do the things that I like to do alone.
And at 31 you already have a problem finding friends? OMG. I am much much older than 31 and I don't have this problem. Maybe you want to look at yourself? Is it your mindset or your problem? If you are at home 100% of the time, don't expect to make friends. Actually not really true because I do have a lot of online friends - people that I can connect with and we communicate online although we NEVER met. They are a new breed of online friends. And some of these online friends turned into real friends as we do meet after a while.
"Finding a partner is even tougher.. I have experienced a failed marriage and when i disclosed to those males i got to know online or through friends, either they will stop contacting me or just treat me as a very normal friend (no intention to get to know me better)."
Springleaf, when you meet new friends, do you start complaining to them about your ex or previous marriage? Not sure if you do know that this can be a turn-off.
i wonder how u go abt knowing so much frd at ur age? care to share some tips so we can learn ...is it cos of ur group of frd when u go out intro u to one another or cos of job? if job colleauges vendor supplier...i understand sure have chance of knowing ppl but u say not cos of job,..cos majority here as wat i understand is kakis already married..attach..no time to go out wif and now only thing for us is go home after work...and tats difficult to have chance lo...now i think is everything have to start from zero..
Yah noseysun i totally agree with you...there are still many nice ppl around...
Hi spring leaf
i understand wat u trying to say and agree with you as we grow older we have less chance to meet new frds..anyway Dun be despair over ur divorce matter...tats y i create this thread to meet new /true frds or even partners here...hope this thread can make all of us know each other well maybe one day all of us here can meet up and go out makan or drink coffee..chit chat also ...
Hi love diary
I saw from ur blog u went to SNEC...wat happen to ur eyes...isit retinal detachment? or floaters? i went for eye surgery b4...and tats was scary...2 surgery same eye within 2 mths... 1st was cataract 2nd was retinal detachment...wah kao....at the age of 28 get this kind of old ppl problem...
Springleaf, if what has not been taken is deemed not good, does it mean that you also belong to that group? I don't believe so. It is just a generalisation. Of course there are untaken good men around. A lot has to do with timing and chemistry. Or else I wouldn't have met my bf after divorce.
True friends or partners cannot be found instantly. They happen to be people whom you can get along well with and over some time you develop friendship or love with them. Takes time and patience.