A Place for Singles

cos i wanna share my thoughts with u guys here where it's less messy. an overview if i may say...

my whole point is on time, realtime... for the realization to take place... nobody is really giving him that... so sharing my thoughts on this.
 


Ahh... Powder.. Guessed as much ur stand.
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U're rite. It's a lot to absorb in realtime. Unfortunately, it has been a festering wound for ages. AL has no time to reflect, ponder, strategise anymore. He has no time left. From his constant comments abt his wife & his insistence tat Ce means nothing, we can only take it at face value & deduce tat he does want his wife back. So, go do something abt it.

Women are fools for love. If my hub had chosen to rebuild our marriage with me, I wld hv taken it on. Despite the fact tat he's not a model spouse in the 1st place. & yes, of coz personal experiences are raked up. When u can identify, it strikes a raw chord. I still stubbornly insist tat AL shld give it a last burst of effort.
 
laundry, Not true no time. He has time. 3 years separation.

And also what his wife is looking for is for him to assert himself - to tell his wife in no uncertain terms what he wants.

By my own count, he has not even try yet. Not to say last burst.
 
Ya... I feel that once the DOS is signed, it also means the wife has sort of resigned to fate liao. By that time, even if AL finally decides to make a stand, it's a little late. OK.. maybe some will say better late than never. But as a woman, I feel that it matters. It matters that instead of trying to save the marriage when he could, he chose to let it rot then try and revive it during the separation period. How long do you wanna flog a dead horse...
 
yup laundry, tat's my stand... Time to Think.

in a way, i saw ourselves as the relatives who keep barraging/harping when they first hear that we are going to go for a divorce... difference is, i agree with most views posted... but one after another, after another, after another... the good we hope to do may not be good in the bigger picture.

some of his posts reflect his confused state of mind, amid him trying to seem faultless in a way... i just think some breathing space shuld be accorded. i dun feel comfrotable sharing in that thread least i end up having to explain myself nong nong to seemingly be protective of him...
 
hi all, me new to tis thread..got married in oct 06, but within 3 days, go bk mum place to stay due to a stupid quarrel wi hubby.now getting a DOS to be offical separated from him.got nowhere to vent my heartpain n sorrow..so chance upon tis thread..oso dunno is it the correct place to post or not.

actually 2 mths b4 the wedding,already had "cracks" in the relationship liao..created a "hoo-ha" and both side relatives even cum up to advice us..so carrried on the customary..but 2 bad..

at 1st, i thot it's my damn damn bad temper on hubby..i admit i ever slap him, shout, scream n to the extend call him a dog..yes. i m tat bad..in our 7 yrs relation.tat y after i realise he is for real of not asking me back home..i started to tink over n started to change bit by bit..cos frenz advice if change too much..he tink i m fake..then once go bk, i becum the same again.
but somehow when we r separated, i found out tat he had been goin on websites to flirt since a yr b4 the customary wedding..it was during the period of taking wedding pics n in the midst of our reno.i did alot to make the wedding a successful 1 n pple praise it..i try to get as much info on reno as possible for the best deal and yet i end up witnessing wi my own eyes of wat he msg those gals n ask them for msn so tat can chat online..tell my close frenz n none belive..cos he was a super super gd bf to me during our yrs together..as in v quiet, i ask him to cum immed..he will cum immed kind..none believe me..i dun 2..but it the fact.

for the past 5 mths(when i havent noe of his well-kept secret), i keep tinking it my fault, so always cum up wi excuse to go bk our hme to sleep..tinking maybe we cool down, n we tok..but no..i go bk..i got to msg him(cos got 1 incident, i go hme quite late after a nite of partying..he is inside, but refuse to let me in..n i got to call the police..he oso dun let me in..no choice, got to take cab go bk mum place to sleep)saying i will be at the hse at wat time..he will unlock the latch..then in the hse..he will lock himself in a rm n use his pc..n me stupidly use tis time to help him iron clothes, clean up the hse abit then go sleep..separately behind closed door..so practically, we under same roof, but we dun see each other.

when i ask to tok..he say noting to tok..he got enugh, limits burst liao..most heartache is i found receipts of him taking 0.5 day to watch movie, eat..n frm the show n receipt, i went on to tink it's bet a gal n a guy portion..

somehow, when his close frenz(the "bros" for our wedding) noe of it..he assure his frenz he is alrite,n tat he can go clubbing, overseas etc wi them 2..n none of his frenz act ask him to tok over it wi me..n for me..i even ask for marraige counselling wi him..but sadly, after 2 session, he told the counsellor he dun 1 2 continue liao..so v difficult for the counsellor to carry on assessng us 2.

haiz..he did so many tings, n yet i m still hoping for a chance wi him..i even wnet on drinking heavily n end up blurting to frenz tat i ever abort once for him..n they r all v shocked..keep telling me give up lar, move on..

on the outside..i seems to be doin quite well..wkend alwyas find pple to acc me..last time is always wi him..so i feel v lost..v lucky for me..i got v gd gal frenz n v gd family support.but the heartache nv goes after 5 mths..it as fresh as new..

i believe in karma.it me who drive him to becum like tat..i cannot blame any 1..i just hope i m strong enugh to carry on.

sorry tat i wrote so much tings here..just hope tat it can lessen my load in my mind.
 
hi everyone! i missed all the fun! cannot get access to internet la.

phew! yeah, me also thot ggal changed to galgal. wah very long story, read until i blur.

hey galgal, better to start a new thread if you need some support. this thread is very rojak.
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Morning peeps!! Hehe... last night saw the post by galgal and thot someone was mimicking me! For a moment suffered identity crisis.. hahaa..
 
quite obvious it's not ggal lah....
the style of writing is entirely diff....


Just as I have suspected.....tat AL is having an affair wif CE. Just like a piece of onion..layer after layer....the truth revealed..

seem like easier to start an affair wif colleague hor? Just like my cousin's hb. Haiz....

Good good......last day of the work week. Get ready to dance tonight!
 
If you'll be my bodyguard,
I can be your long lost pal!
I can call you Betty,
And Betty, when you call me,
You can call me Al!
 
Morning peeper!

I not looking forward to long weekend! Got so many things to do. Things tat I dun wanna do. :P

Okie dokie. Last comment for me on AL then case closed liao. The way I see it, 2 persons are still in love, why give up so easily? Yes, letting go might be a better option, but who are we to decide? The ball shld be in his wife's court. Esp now with the exposed affair. But tat spineless ass chooses to juz whine without doing a thing. I oso lose interest liao. Let him go dig his own grave. I lend him my shovel.
 
Having an affair is so much fun meh? I never had one although I have many opportunities.

Is it a weakness of the human spirit or the lack of commitment?
 
temptation temptation! like my cousin's hb. So convenient....somemore his subordinate. So 'fang bian'

laundry....dun think so. Coz the condition of the base will be rather jialat liao
You picking up lancing again?
 
salsa, of course it is obvious to know it is not ggal when we read.. but on 1st glance just looking at the name ..

ggal writes much much better. this galgal - wah really terok english.. trying hard to understand..

anyway she just want to let our her steam.. so it is ok.
 
People who have probs lying with a straight face cannot hv affairs lah.

Simpleman, not smelly. Strappy kind & I clean it after each use. Wear 1 or 2 hrs only.

Salsa, the base is like 20% worn lor. :P I wanna sell mine. Dun think I dancing anymore. If cannot, then I juz let them rot in my cupboard lor.

Actually hor, personally, I got quite irritated with frens who tell me to juz give up on my hub initially. I feel tat tat has to be my own decision lor. I know they mean well but still... @#^&@*#^@&
 
maybe young gal....more adventurous in certain area....

but hor...my cousin's hb's affair....tat gal oredi got 2 affairs in the offc. He's the 3rd one. And he still wants? Somemore, the gal got bf de. Pilot...

perhaps the gal read abt the comments u guys made abt AL....so just came in to let off some steam
 
laundry, anything between couples - 3rd parties can only offer views and considerations. Only the parties involved can make their own decision.

After all, we have to live with our decisions.
 
laundry, i early cos i checking my soccer results mah... but can't resist checking wat happened... anyway it's not obvious that the 2 persons in mutual love is him and his wife... it's more like him in love with that CE girl... he loves the concept of his wife being his wife... i dun think he loves his wife the way wives wanna be loved...
 
laundry,

"People who have probs lying with a straight face cannot hv affairs lah."

Actually I don;t quite agree. People who cannot lie but somehow when they are having affair they just acquire this uncanny ability to lie. My wife is a very good example. She cannot lie type and that is why I have 1000% absolute trust in her.

Sad to say, she herself also don't understand why she did what she did. She don't even know she was lying. Somehow when one is having an affair, because the whole affair is built on deceit and lies, it just become natural to them.
 
ya simpleman - "field day"

this a good point for us to see the reaction of each individual... including myself. some will be venting their problems on him... some will be taking out "all men are like that" sexist stance on him... of cos a few will feel cheated and be angry.

tat's why i posted here yday... just becos Al is a 'Bad', it does not mean anyone hitting him in their posts are naturally 'Good'. some will just be venting on him...

i just posted there, i saw some positive side - he still has a conscience and he knows he's wrong, he just doesn't know it immediately, and when questioned he instinctively defences immediately. sounds like he is in a middlemen job...

anyway if u be an objective observer and read the posts... u'll draw certain conclusions about typical reactions and generic approach to an 'offender' in spore. it's a good distraction from our own weaknesses when other pple expose their own weaknesses.
 
powder,

I agreed. No point in bashing him liao. At least he admitted cos there is no way we can know for sure if he did not admit.

But this herd reaction of bashing will continue lah.

I still think he got a chance if he really want to work on his marriage. But of course, it also depends on the wife.

Anyway, not for us to comment cos we don't know too much.
 
powder my heart sunk... when roma scored the 2nd goal... man u will have a hard time fighting back.. but not bad for a 10 man team... they just need to win 1-0 on home ground
 
Simpleman, totally agree with ur post of 10.18a.m. Actually I dun think he's in love with Ce. Juz in love with the whole idea of someone looking up to him. But aiyah, dun wanna talk abt him liao. As for ur other comment, then I'm not qualified to comment leh. U wait lah. I go find a hb, then I go hv an affair, then I see if I can lie with a straight face, then I get back to u. Okie?
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Yeap, Powder. U can draw quite conclusive findings of a person's character from their postings.
 
Ceci, man u likely to be able to pull off 2-0 or 3-0... no worries... we've done it against Juve we'll do it again... we play better when we're down to italian teams... can't say same for germans and french... keke.

Simpleman - one observation... he Wants to be free again... he just dun like divorce becos it is deemed as a sort of failure... the only way he can be free is thru a divorce. the only way he will divorce is for his wife to suggest so that he doesn't look like the bad guy. he can still be 'successful'.
 


laundry, yeah actually for a lot of affairs - people may not be in "love"... but they love the excitement, the secrecy - and in a lot of cases, their lovers are not even as attractive as their spouses. But they feel good and to them that is "love".
 
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