hi all, me new to tis thread..got married in oct 06, but within 3 days, go bk mum place to stay due to a stupid quarrel wi hubby.now getting a DOS to be offical separated from him.got nowhere to vent my heartpain n sorrow..so chance upon tis thread..oso dunno is it the correct place to post or not.
actually 2 mths b4 the wedding,already had "cracks" in the relationship liao..created a "hoo-ha" and both side relatives even cum up to advice us..so carrried on the customary..but 2 bad..
at 1st, i thot it's my damn damn bad temper on hubby..i admit i ever slap him, shout, scream n to the extend call him a dog..yes. i m tat bad..in our 7 yrs relation.tat y after i realise he is for real of not asking me back home..i started to tink over n started to change bit by bit..cos frenz advice if change too much..he tink i m fake..then once go bk, i becum the same again.
but somehow when we r separated, i found out tat he had been goin on websites to flirt since a yr b4 the customary wedding..it was during the period of taking wedding pics n in the midst of our reno.i did alot to make the wedding a successful 1 n pple praise it..i try to get as much info on reno as possible for the best deal and yet i end up witnessing wi my own eyes of wat he msg those gals n ask them for msn so tat can chat online..tell my close frenz n none belive..cos he was a super super gd bf to me during our yrs together..as in v quiet, i ask him to cum immed..he will cum immed kind..none believe me..i dun 2..but it the fact.
for the past 5 mths(when i havent noe of his well-kept secret), i keep tinking it my fault, so always cum up wi excuse to go bk our hme to sleep..tinking maybe we cool down, n we tok..but no..i go bk..i got to msg him(cos got 1 incident, i go hme quite late after a nite of partying..he is inside, but refuse to let me in..n i got to call the police..he oso dun let me in..no choice, got to take cab go bk mum place to sleep)saying i will be at the hse at wat time..he will unlock the latch..then in the hse..he will lock himself in a rm n use his pc..n me stupidly use tis time to help him iron clothes, clean up the hse abit then go sleep..separately behind closed door..so practically, we under same roof, but we dun see each other.
when i ask to tok..he say noting to tok..he got enugh, limits burst liao..most heartache is i found receipts of him taking 0.5 day to watch movie, eat..n frm the show n receipt, i went on to tink it's bet a gal n a guy portion..
somehow, when his close frenz(the "bros" for our wedding) noe of it..he assure his frenz he is alrite,n tat he can go clubbing, overseas etc wi them 2..n none of his frenz act ask him to tok over it wi me..n for me..i even ask for marraige counselling wi him..but sadly, after 2 session, he told the counsellor he dun 1 2 continue liao..so v difficult for the counsellor to carry on assessng us 2.
haiz..he did so many tings, n yet i m still hoping for a chance wi him..i even wnet on drinking heavily n end up blurting to frenz tat i ever abort once for him..n they r all v shocked..keep telling me give up lar, move on..
on the outside..i seems to be doin quite well..wkend alwyas find pple to acc me..last time is always wi him..so i feel v lost..v lucky for me..i got v gd gal frenz n v gd family support.but the heartache nv goes after 5 mths..it as fresh as new..
i believe in karma.it me who drive him to becum like tat..i cannot blame any 1..i just hope i m strong enugh to carry on.
sorry tat i wrote so much tings here..just hope tat it can lessen my load in my mind.