A Place for Singles

I hear everytime about people complaining about marrying the wrong person. The wrong person could be us. When a marriage is not working, it is the fault of both parties and not because we married the wrong person. And even if we really marry the wrong person, who to blame but ourselves for being blinded by love
 


Maybe should put it that it's just a wrong match. I agree both parties are responsible when things happened.

Actually I'm quite upset with the service of one particular shoe boutique at wheelock place. I know this is not the right thread but i just want to 'say' it out. I sent my pair of sandals back to the boutique for repair. When it's time for collection, i only checked on the repaired area, forgotten to check on the other parts of the sandals (the sandals were in good condition when i sent for the repair). And only to spot a big chipped off at the corner of the sole when i reached home. I brought it back to the boutique the next day, the sales person said she will get the manager to get back to me at a later date as the boss is not in town. I waited for 1 month and still no news. I called up to check on the status only to find out that they refused to take the responsibility. Keep giving me the reason that the boss not in town, they can't do anything. Boss not in town, no need to do business meh??!! I was like.... arrgghhhh... She said can't change a new pair for me as I've already worn the sandals. Told her straight that I'm not hard up for that pair of new sandals, just want her to get it done. And i have been a regular supporter of the boutique shoes. Who to blame? Blame myself for not checking properly during the first collection! That pair of sandals is barely 1 year old and it's my favourite pair of sandals.
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I totally agree with what you people are saying. Actually there is nothing wrong being single and it is true that is better than marrying the wrong man. I am a real life example and just got my annulment today, so back to single again.

However, it hurts as you are so use to "the one" for so many years and you always thought that you grow old with him.

Frankly, learning to be single again needs courage too and it is not an easy road when you are so used to do things together after so many years. It is just that back to baby steps, learning to walk again.
 
ya lor LOTS, I think the one big factor is having spent the longest time with that person. It's not to say that person was so perfect that it's hard to let go, but after all the time spent, surely there is some loyalty, some regret, etc.

Then having to start all over again. It's not the dating and going out and putting on your best behaviour that bothers me. It's the trust. In such an appearance-based society, it's really not easy to see beneath the veneer. When I was on the brink of adulthood, before coming out to work, I was in NUS then and I thought to myself, 'wa the world outside is so treacherous, so full of traps and what is not what it seems...' Then I told myself, with regard to settling down, the woman I marry must be my childhood sweetheart, because I'd be more confident about her true self, having known her in her younger days where as a young person, you tend not to wear too many masks or see the need to wear too many masks. Don't u guys agree?

Now that I'm no longer with my childhood sweetheart, really, it's dam scary in a way meeting new chicks. Some may think, 'aiya, you're a guy leh, just have fun lah, if it doesn't work out at least you're the guy, you don't stand to lose so much...maybe some money spent on the dates and stuff...' But guys are human beings also and we also have to dispense emotional deposit when we are supposedly serious in relationship also what...

eh Yvonne, in stories where you hear of excellent service, it's where the service staff takes the initiative to solve the problem for you. In this case, it's really not because the boss is not around. If the service staff is pro-active enough, the boss's presence is not necessary if he/she really wants to help you. Sometimes as a customer, we should also play our part in charming our service providers. I tell you, it works lor. Haha. I always make it a point to look them in the eye when I'm talking to them. But it's not fake lah. I try to practise this all the time. I think it gives the person the impression that you respect him/her and might motivate him/her to go the extra distance for you. And this is quite apparent in the service situation. How many times we ask for service say eg, the waiter comes we order food, we simply look at the menu and rattle off the food names. Then after that the waiter leaves and we expect our food pronto. Or like we want another size, we usually give our requests looking at the item rather than the salesperson. They also feel like robots lah. If we look them in the eye and treat them like real people, they might be moved to do more for us. Haha.

Ask when the boss is in town lah. Then go down again to see the boss. Or ask for the boss's number. I think you should do it. Do it as a matter of principle and do it because u truly support the shop. If I truly support the shop, I would do my part as a loyal customer to test its standards from time to time. It shows I care.

Lastly, you think we should meet up ah? Haha. U ready not? I don't like to be rebound leh. I play basketball don't believe in rebound one. One shot one kill. Haha. Once shoot, the ball sure go in one, no rebound...
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As much as we are influenced by the western countries, we are still from an asian country. "Single" status is better than a "Divorcee" right? Most people are resistant to change, so from having someone by your side to being alone again, it's not easy to adjust. But always remember, you are not alone. You still have us here.

Bedokboy, you are right. If she is really pro-active, it doesn't matter if the boss is in town. I have already LOOKED into her eyes but still, she stood there like a statue, keep telling me there's nothing she can do. And being the so-called manager, she can't make decisions. What manager is that!! Since you have the ability to charm people, why don't you help me? Go charm that manager for me lah..Hee..

Why can't meet up? Think you are the one who is not ready right? Hahahah.. Oi, I'm not on rebound leh. Though i don't play basketball, i don't believe in rebound too. And you sure your aiming so accurate anot?
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Then ask nicely when the boss is in town and then go then lor.

On a bright note with regard to the status issue, I believe things are changing. There is a changing attitude to divorcees nowadays. Even saying 'I don't mind' a divorcee makes me cringe, because it's like, 'what's so bad about a divorcee to make me say I don't mind?'...

And meeting up is fine lah. Just kidding about the rebound bit.
 
"I don't mind", isn't that a reflection of the attitude of the person who said that? It's either you accept or you don't. No such things as "I don't mind".

Ya lah, i know you were kidding lah. So when you want to meet up?
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Single girls

how about joining SDU, SDS, speed dating ?

as long you expand your social circle, there will be heaps of guys asking you out. No joke !

of course before embarking on all these social activities, do some improvements to make yourself more attractive.

Eg. take courses on colour coordination & dressing to improve your dress sense, take personal make-up course on how how to doll yourself up.

These are worthy investments. It works like a dream :o)
 
haha. I think hippo has a personal experience or two to share. Wah hippo you seem to know a lot about how to snare a good husband. How many exes you got?
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wah times are changing now eh, yvonne so direct, so aggressive. I shy. Eh we follow hippo's advice in another thread we list our criteria first lah... how?
 
Hahaha, knew you would say that bedokboy (that i'm direct). You really think listing out our criteria really work (that's my personal opinion)? Just feel that a lot of times, we can say, we want this, we want that in our future partner, but in reality, the partner that we have beside us might be totally the opposite. My best friend is getting married next friday, she once made a comment that she doesn't want her other half to be older than her by too much. End up, her husband is 8 years her senior! Talking so much about criteria, so what when that person meets all the criteria that you listed out but you simply can't clique with her or don't have that special feelings, what you gonna do? Still go after her because she met all your criteria, hoping you can develop feelings for her in time to come? To me, the feeling (eg, being at ease with his company, can communicate) the other party gave me at the first meeting is rather important. It more or less determines whether I would still want to see him in the future. Not sure it applies to everybody.

And talking about being aggressive, when i was younger, maybe i would take more initiative (or be more aggressive) in meeting up the opposite sexes. I'm just tired to do that now. Feel that men are born to hunt. They feel more 'exciting' wooing the girl they like rather than to be wooed by a girl. And at the end of the day, if the girl really managed to woo the guy, will the guy treasure her cause no effort was needed from the guy during the woo-ing period. Though that don't apply to all men, but that's what i'm seeing around me. Like what i have said in my earlier post, we are still very much brought up in an asian way, so our perception and thinking are still very much 'traditional', as in men should make the first move. Just look at the reaction of bedokboy when i initiated a meet up. I always felt that it's ok making the first move but after 'banging wall' a few times, I'm just too tired already.
 
hmmm.....there's nothing wrong with being direct. I admired girls like that. I mean approaching the guys whom you like. I used to be quite interested in one ex-colleague but no guts to ask him out. Sigh....

I'm not so daring. Ususally I just wait for guys to court me. More passive, but ended up getting a lot of nuisance dates whom I have no interest in

So I guess there's is no ONE best way lah.

To answer Bedokboy, my hubby is my 1st boyfriend. I have a 5 date rule. He is the only person who make it beyond 5 dates, haha!

The rest all kanna 'chop' even before reaching 3rd dates.

My hubby still teasing me nowsaday about how he need to queue to get a date. Aiya, old stories. Now I auntie already, haha!!
 
Hippo, what were your 5 date rule? Sad to say most guys aren't impressive with girls who are direct. They just term the girls as desperados. Maybe I've come to a stage that I don't want to try so hard anymore. Tiring lah.
 
haha hippo. Lucky you in a way lah. No ex. 1st time try already smooth smooth all the way. Or at least mostly smooth smooth lah.

Thanks for encouraging Yvonne to approach guys she likes. I'm flattered too.

mwahahahahahahahhaha...

Aiya Yvonne, the criteria thing also just for fun lah. I wasn't serious about it. But I thought it's a good way to get to know each other better first mah.

Your thinking a bit like guy leh. So to some extent, can almost say you're quite a 'love at first sight' kind of person? I operate like that also. As soon as I see someone, it's all based on feeling and it determines whether or not I will want to see her again. But of course there is still a very very basic set of criterion that is in my head all the time lah.

So, just for shits and giggles. I'll share my criterion. Haha. Almost in order of preference.

1. Looks.

Not just any pleasant-looking girl. There is a certain look that makes me go weak in the knees. It's the long face, sharp chin, sharp nose look. Usually this kind of look translates into an ice maiden, bitchy look. Haha. The more she looks like she will scratch my eyes out if I come too close, the more I like... Haha. Fiona Xie need not apply. Too sweetie-pie. Short hair also tough. Haha.

2. Figure

Not too short and must have boobs! Haha. Prefer girls with fair porcelain complexion. Ass cannot be big and lumpy. Haha.

3. Poise

How she carries herself. If I observe her from afar and she's with friends and being herself and talking animatedly and capturing everyone's attention, best! But if she's with me for the first (few) time(s) and she's like ice queen best!

So, to pass 1st hurdle. Only got 3 criterion. Not tough what right? I not choosy what right? Haha...
 
hi Yvonne

When a guy asks me out on a date, I will try to get to know him as much as possible during the date.
Ask heaps of questions (tactfully lah, not interrogate) to find out whether he is what I'm looking for in a spouse.

5 dates rule mean I won't go on date with the same guy for more than 5 times if he is not the one I'm looking for. No point sending the wrong message to him.

But don't need 5 dates lah, usually by 2nd or 3rd date you know whether he is suitable. Mostly 1st date already gone case, cannot click. Even if can click but don't meet my criteria, cannot proceed too

I follow my head 1st, then my heart.
 
Guys are different. They follow their roaming eyes & pounding hearts. Haha!!

That's why I say, girls doll yourself up. Guys will flock to you and you can pick & choose.

Spent time to invest on your looks. Despite your wonderful virtues, nobody knows. It's always about 'love at 1st sight' for guys.

After the guys are attracted to you, then they bother to get to know you better and can appreciate your good virtues.

Look at Bedokboy's criteria (look, figure, poise).

You know what I meant?

no offence lah Bedokboy, just stating the difference between guys & girls.

Girls will accept guys who have No looks, No figure (chubby also can) and NO poise (huh, what poise?) haha!

We just want to feel cherished :o)
 
Hippo, what if he meets your criteria but no intention of marriage? It's like you guys don't talk about marriage on the first date right??!! What if the intention is only known when both of you are already an item? Leave him straight away? It's not easy to be as rational as you when it comes to the matters of the heart.

Bedokboy, had experienced love at first sight but that was donkey years ago. Maybe as i grow older, it's not much on love at first sight but more of a good and positive feel about the person on the first meeting.

For fun & laughter too:

1. Looks
No need to be very handsome but must be pleasing to my eyes. First thing i look in a guy is his eyes. He must be able to 'melt' me with his eyes. Nice sharp nose and thin kissable lips will be good.
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2. Height
Can't be too short! Then i can't wear heels already, that will be very sad.

3. Figure
Have wash-board stomach and broad shoulders strong enough for me to cry on when i need him.

4. Poise/Personality
Must have dress & colour sense (coz some guys simply have no dress sense colour of their tops and bottoms tak-match!) It also means sloppily-dressed guys, keep away! Able to mix around with my friends.
 
Guys are different. They follow their roaming eyes & pounding hearts. Haha!!
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That's why people say, woman needs lots of hugging, cuddling and foreplay to get aroused. Guy? Just appear naked. Hahaha..

Hippo, I'm the kind of girl that you described. ie, I doll myself up, nice n simple make-up. Good dress sense or rather keep to the basic colour co-ordination. Well, i do get stares from guys, hope it's for a good reason.. hahaha!
 
3. Figure
Have wash-board stomach and broad shoulders strong enough for me to cry on when i need him.

Hmmm ... but won't he too busy at the gym toning his wash-board stomach to lend you time to cry on .. kekekeke

That's why people say, woman needs lots of hugging, cuddling and foreplay to get aroused. Guy? Just appear naked. Hahaha..
Hmmm ... prob true for youths with raging hormones but as men grew older, they rather the women keep the clothes on first !!! wahahaha
 
Haha good men are really hard to find – those who don’t just focus on looks & the exterior.
If the exterior is so impt to man, what happens when the wife grows old, her face full of wrinkles, her body out of shape?
 
looks is important to a man, the hunting instinct I guess. the need to show off prized possession? just like we gals collect LV bags, same theory

don't worry lah, by then you already have many years of love & kinship as foundation

anyway, just make sure you look better than him all the time, whether you are in your 50s or 60s or 70s
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no offence taken lah Hippo. I dare to admit then must dare to get commented on also.

It's a sad fact lah. But it's true. Guys do go for looks. There are some out there who say they don't but I'm sure even then, they still have a basic standard they cannot go under lah.

Eh Yvonne, u never say whether u pass my 3 point rule or not? haha...

I try and pass yours lah. See whether u accept not.

1. Looks

Nose quite sharp, but not narrow enough. Haha. Lips fairly thin, kissable or not, you can try on our first date. But I black as charcoal. Like or not?

2. Figure

Height is taller than most guys. If you still want taller not easy to find already. 1.795m can or not? Haha. Washboard stomach? Maybe 6-7 years ago and maybe 10kg ago. Nowadays, if I lean back and flex real hard, I can still see my six long friends. They're there somewhere, for sure. If you can motivate me to lose weight and work out again, they will return, to open arms. Broad shoulders ok lah. Don't have swimmers shoulders but broad enough.

4. Poise/Fashion Sense/Personality

Some girls say I dress snazzy, some guys say I dress gay. Some girls say I got Ah Beng face, some guys say I suave. Some girls say my personality shows me to be the 'drifter' sort. Some guys say I'm fun to hang out with. So there...

your turn!!!

anyone else care to join in? Haha hippo, btw, this is singles thread leh, what are you doing here? haha... kidding lah.
 
1. Age: 26
2. Sex: F
3. Occupation: Business Analyst
4. Education: Degree
5. Hobbies: cycling, reading, gym, badminton (loking for Khakis), singing, travelling, eating
6. Status : attached
7. Strength : analytial mind
8. Weakness : too straight forward

hope to join in your discussion and learn something new..and of cos, sharing my 2 cents as well...
 
Hi bedokboy,
As I was going through yr criteria, it suddenly dawned on me that you should look for an Indian girlfriend! You didn’t specify color right? hee. Not those traditional fat Indians but those trendy ones. Many Indians make it far in international pageants; their beauty cannot be underestimated.

Looks
Compared to Chinese, more Indians have the long face, sharp chin and sharp nose look. With those features, they could easily look icy and bitchy – the way you want it. And they like to keep their hair long, very long. Fit the bill perfectly!
Chinese usu have more rounded nose. Cant even fulfill Pt 1, how to move on to 2 and 3?

Figure
Many Indians are tall, well endowed and have nice curves. WoooOooo
They may not have fair skin but their darker complexion conceals marks very well. On the other hand, the fair-skinned has to apply heaps of concealer on that little red spot. Mafan right?

Poise
Those sophisticated Indians carry themselves pretty well, some even model-like. You wouldn’t miss them in a crowd.

So you see, they satisfy your criteria! Hahaha......
 
I think I deep down inside still ask for Ah-lian heart of gold in my woman.

Because maybe I deep deep down inside am an Ah Beng, albeit a potato Ah beng who cannot even sing a full song in Hokkien. Deep deep down inside, all the above criteria if she fulfil but if her inner beauty is the Ah Lian heart of gold type, wah lau...wah danz...wah kaoz...wah biang....wah lan eh! Dream woman...

What I mean by Ah-Lian heart of gold...

1. Filial to parents

2. Respectful of elder siblings, take care of younger ones

3. Maybe take bus or at hawker centre will say thank you to hawker, or strike up conversation with old auntie

4. Once in a blue moon, wear those sexy platforms and have a good laugh about it when out in town with me.

5. ah this one best. I think not many girls will dare to do. But I say first hor, not that I expect my girflriend to do it if we are in this situation. My ah-lian heart of gold girlfriend with me in the car. We want to go, say beach for dinner. Dam crowded, no parking lot. Then a distance away, we see a lot. So she quickly get down and stand in the parking lot to chope for me, despite my protestations. wah lau...my heart sure melt one... Then say if got someone want to dispute, she can either fee li feh leh in english, hokkien, mandarin or slang english with the trouble-maker... hahahahahaha....

Ah neh how to have Ah-lian heart of gold?

Estrella, u Ah Neh ah?
 
Hi Bedokboy & all eligible male & female singles,

Hope you all don't mind me being frank.
How abt some actions instead? Do org. something - some meet up @ some where.
Dreams will remain dreams till actions to make it realised.
 
hi bboy,
Why ah neh cannot have ahlian heart of gold? Lianness is regardless of race, language or religion..haha

Me ah neh? I have to wear concealer if red spots appear on my face…sob
 
Wow, this thread is getting very interesting!!

Bedokboy, you see if i pass your criteria lor.
1. Looks
I don't have long face, sharp chin (think will look like witch leh). I have oval face, not so sharp nose but definately not flat nose. I have this "i'm high up there and you better don't mess around with me" look. This is what others usually comment. So not sure if you considered that as ice-maiden, bitchy look. I have wavy hair, length wise.. hmm.. below shoulders.

2. Figure
Oh no, I'm not tall leh. Only 1.55m but alot of people commented i look taller than 1.55m. Maybe because I'm always wearing heels. Hahha.. But I have a perky (bear in mind that it's perky, NOT big!) butt!! And i got compliments for that. Boobs ah, have lah, but don't know what cup size you talking about. Hahahha... Overall, still proportionate.

3. Poise
Think I can carry myself well enough to get your attention. And i'm definately myself when I'm with my friends.

So u decide if I pass the first hurdle.

And the best part is... Believe it anot, I do have a Ah Lian heart of gold. I fulfilled points 1-4. As for point 5, never did it before. Anyway, you have indication lights mah. But if there's trouble-maker in any scenarios and he/she is too much, sure will fee li feh leh with the trouble-makers coz I'm not someone whom you can mess around with.. Hahahha..

Estrella, your post is very funny!! My colleague was wondering how come I'm laughing in front of my PC.

Nan, I agree with you. But it takes 2 hands to clap.
 
Hi hippo,

No doubt a woman should maintain herself even after marriage – not just for her hubby but for her own health and well-being too. when a man strays, it doesn’t matter whether he has a “trophy wife†at home or he is married for the longest time. Ponder, who’s prettier - Princess D or Camilla? Marc Anthony left his Ms Universe wife. Jennifer Aniston not pretty enough? While maintaining our appearance is impt, a better safeguard (though not foolproof) is to be with a man who values fidelity.
 
Hahha... Since nan is the one who said that, then ask him to organise lor. tobehappi also interested mah.. Hee..

So bedokboy, i fit your criteria anot..
 
Alamak, 'taji' to me. How can?! You see, bedokboy waiting for you to take action leh. Our future happiness is in your hands now... So must help me and bedokboy!! How could you bear to let a pair of 'compatible' couple not know each other?
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if Yvonne's standards too high at least she got company to retreat to what.

Wah liew.

Use your blain, use ur blain...

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Oi, bedokboy, you chut pattern ah? What Yvonne go, you will go. Win liao lor.. You think it's still the Titanic times ah, "You jump, I jump". Kaoz... I'm on, so you better make sure you turn up hor!
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wah serious ah? ok ok... last minute i put aeroplane...

i'm a guy with commitment phobia... i never make it to appointments...
 
tsk. Joking about You, Me and Dupree lah.

Ya powder very elusive one. Very hard to meet him.
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Left me and Yvonne.

Wait abit more for response lor.
 
over the years i've come to realise tat if i make appointment - i definitely cannot make it... so i always last min...

tat day i made 2 appointments before yours... i missed all 3 and left office at 2am... so i decided no more appointments!
 


Ooi powder!!! Your turn to chut pattern now!!! Put aeroplane?? Wait I put aeroplane to attack you ah!!
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Thought I can see my prince charming... But now... Sighh...
 

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