(2012) 2012 Brides to be

Xiaoyan: Well, I tried asking her why she want so much, which she say like all the money spent raising me up, and she need the money next time to cover any of her hospital bill etc. F.Y.I, she had a pace maker implanted last yr.. She is a housewife.. I'm the eldest of her 3 children.. It really seems to me she's selling me away.. As if I'll run away after I get married.. =(
 


Charlotte: Maybe you can tell her even after marriage, you will still take care of her and give her allowance. You know give her some assurance, and lower the dowry amount?
 
Xiaoyan: Yes, I did.. She said I'm very sensitive when talking about money.. Hai.. And I'm even going to get a house near my current house.. Maybe I can try talking to my dad and see how.. But not sure its too early now though..
 
Xiaoyan: Yah.. think will do that.. but at least I started asking now cos I also need to get ourselves and future in-laws mentally prepared.. I dont know how we will react if we only know abt it very near to the wedding.. Thanks for all your responses! They really help alot..

How about you? How is your preparation?
 
Charlotte : Now, we only settled on the housing and sign up for bridal shoot pkg already. Next yr then source for hotel, still got time. =)
 
charlotte: actually the dowry, is the Pin jin right?? hmmm, 15K is really ALOT unless your hubby is earning alot or his family is more well off then i think is ok.
if im not wrong, usu ppl give abt 4-5K for PJ? tts what i heard from my friends on average. some only bao $1888 or $888! n its like eg u give $5888, then your mum will take like maybe $XXX and return the rest to your hubby.
so it depends on how much your mum take.
since your dad is canto, u shld follow your dad's custom. for the GDL just go to any of those shop selling chinese traditional wedding stuffs and tell them they will advice u.
 
Shanna: Yes, dowry is the pin jin.. HTB definately will not have that sum of money, its on top of the another 10k that we estimated for our wedding.. However, he say his parents can sponsor. Problem can easily be solved, but the main problem is I will be at a very uncomfortable position when I marry into the family when the parents have to pay 15k 'for' me..

I've asked around too.. The max I heard from my friends is $8888.. 15k is double! Haiz..
 
hmm.. Actually dowry is not pin jin.

Dowry is a blessing from the bride's parents to their own daughter and future son in-law, it also symbolises that their precious daughter has grown up and ready to fullfill the role of somebody's wife. Dowry is a process where the bride's parents will buy items like bedsheet, baby prosperity set, toiletries like mug, toothbrush and toothpaste for the wedding couple to a start of a blessful marriage together. Each individual item has a special meaning behind. All of them are blessing to the couples for an everlasting marriage and hopefully to carry on a prosperous family line.

Pin jin is part of be betrothal gift from the groom family.

Betrothal also known as "Guo Da Li" is one of the important event in the Chinese Wedding, in fact without this the custom is considered invalid. This gesture has a meaning to prove the sincerity towards the marriage between the binding of two families and the promises of taking care of the bride. In the ancient China, the value of the betrothal gift also determines the financial credibility of the groom.

$15k for pin jin seems quite alot leh.. My parents only requested for $2888 and we need to refund a even amount. cannot take all leh.
 
avatar: opps.. thanks for the enlightenment.. like what i say, my parents also not sure what is required of the customary.. what GDL, pin jin.. I'm also very blur.. Only know my mum requested for 15k from HTB side.. But what do you mean that we need to make a refund? When do we do that? Is it the same for all dialect groups?
 
suesue: public servants work in agencies and stat boards whereas civil servants refer to those who sign on and work in ministries
 
For Guo da li, depending on customs, your mother will request for some items from the groom family. My GDL coming in 2 weeks time on 18 sept and my AD is on 23 Oct. I'm a hokkien. My mum requested as below:

1)Pin Jin (è˜é‡‘) - $2888 refundable
2)10 tables for banquet (Bride side keep the $$)
2)4 touch of gold (四点金)
3)2 bottles of hard liquor (两瓶烈酒)
4)24 cans of pig trotter (二åå››ç½çŒªè„š)
5)28 boxes of cakes(二å八盒喜饼)
6)Nappy angpao (洗尿布的红包) - $288 (Non refundable)
7)pairs of Dragon and phoenix candles replaced by 2 Ang Pao - $28 each （两对龙风烛用红包代替）refundable
8) 6 types auspicious seeds and grains (Red dates/ Dried longans/ lotus seeds / red bean/ green bean/ lily bulbs) （六ç§å‰ç¥¥è°·ï¼šçº¢æž£ï¼Œé¾™çœ¼å¹²ï¼ŒèŽ²å­ï¼Œ 红豆， 绿豆，百åˆï¼‰refundable
9)A basket of 12 oranges (12 粒橙放在è“å­é‡Œ) refundable

For the gifts you get from the groom, you need to refund a even no of portion back to the groom. Eg. 2 bottles of hard liquor, we will refund 2 bottles of orange syrup to groom side. you got 28 boxes of cakes, maybe refund them 2 boxes etc?

Actually no one follow strictly on custom now.四点金supposed to be a teochew custom while cantonese and hokkien usually take dragon phoenix (龙凤镯).. hehe..but we prefer 四点金. hehe..

The exchange of guo da li is usually done 2 to 4 weeks before the wedding. My dates are chosen by fengshui master. hehe..
 
Charlotte: On the guo da li day, my mum upon receiving the pin jin, will refund a even amount. Don't know how much she wanna return. haha.. Actually up to individual. Mother can just get $888 and refund back $2000 to groom so what ever amount she find it comfortable.
 
avatar: oic.. but since my mum requested for 15k, i dont think she have the intention to return any amt.. i'll need to talk to my dad abt it.. i dont feel at peace abt this..
 
Charlotte: Actually, besides the $15k, does she have any other requests? If not, maybe still feasible. Pinjin + no of tables requested + wedding jewellery + miscellaneous items also add up to around this amount. Don't worry too much. Maybe can discuss with your parents again.

Just notice this thread is for 2012 brides. looks like you gals prepare quite early. hehehe.. it's gd to prepare earlier. At least not so rush.
 
charlotte: welcome! wah $15k pinjin it's a lot ya. I did asked my dad as well, just to test his response and he said usually must start with "18", so i assume its 1.8k. haha. Actually pinjin is up to individual and like many others said, talk to your parents again since it's still early. I am sure there is a way to negotiate.

xiaoyan: your BTO TOP in 2015 ah? still so long. but usually TOP will be earlier than expected. hehe. so will you be staying with your in-laws after your wedding?
 
all:nowadays..normally either take from pin jing or jus take tables de ang baos onli ba.. else v xiong for the groom side..

charlotte:tink u nid to check n confirm with ur dad on this portion..
 
Avatar: Nope.. My mum didnt ask for anything else.. If we have dinner, we still have the ang bao from the dinner to cover.. But we're not having dinner at all.. Which means everything have to come up from our pocket..

Seems like really everyine feels that 15k is alot.. Yup, I really really need to my dad when there's chance.. like this thing will never be at rest until its settled.. it can really be a hindrance to the wedding preparation...
 
Charlotte: Probably discuss with your dad first and see how it goes. It's gd to discuss earlier on such issues to prevent more conflicts nearer to the date. hehe.. wedding is a happy ocassion. Don't worry, be happy! everything's going to be fine. You getting married in which church? hehe.. my church wedding is at immaculate heart of mary..hehe..
 
Xiaoyan: When u apply for your BTO? usually it takes about 3 to 3.5 years from date of BTO. but probably faster since govt announce to speed up. hehe.. i applied in Nov 07, flat coming in 1st qtr 2011. TOP in 2013. hehe.. so probably urs might be coming in 2012 to 2013?
 
avatar82 : The BTO is out in Dec 09, i select the flat in Apr, signing of lease in Sep. So u think when can collect? I hope by 2013 la.
Govt only promise streamline application process not building process..
 
Xiayan: hehe.. probably by 1st or 2nd qtr of 2013? i heard dbss flat is faster.. cos done by private developer. so when is ur AD?

I need to stay with my parents for at least 6 mths after my wedding. Hubby will move into my house temporarily. hehe...
 
avatar82: DBSS very very exp, my cousin bought 4rm for 400K. A bit crazy lo, now hdb come up with so many measures, the flat price sure drop.
My AD most likely in Nov haven decide the date. I think aft marriage, we will just stay at our own hse first ba.
 
charlotte, i think best to speak to your dad n see what he says.
actually the GDL, tables n PJ, depend on individuals.
like my parents, they know my sis n her bf r paying everything for their wedding n new hse, so even though they gv my mum 10 tables, she will return the AP to them. as for PJ she also say she will jst take a small portion as a yisi yisi only.
for my wedding, also same case. hehe. but i tell my bf after the wedding, we will give my mum extra.
happy.gif
 
Xiaoyan: yup, dbss more expensive. My 4 room bto only $220k (inclusive of tiles + doors). hehe.. dbss double the price leh.

Shanna: saw u in OH thread also.. are you also OH bride to be?
 
Avatar: My church wedding will be at Covenant Presbyterian Church..

Shanna: Yah.. I rather give my mum more monthly allowance for long term instead of having HTB's parents pay the full amt requested at one go..

Avatar, Xiaoyan: How manytimes did u apply b4 getting to choose a unit? I tried BTO 5 times in Punggol but failed to get any good Q no. So decided to get resale near our parents place..

Anyone getting resale flat here?
 
Xiaoyan/Charlotte: I apply first time? hmm.. then got queue no 199.. so still manage to choose a high storey unit. hehe.. think quite lucky bah. hehehe

so have u gals signed up for bridal package or AD venue? hehe..
 
wah...37? that's cool!!!! got plenty of units for u to choose. is bliss bridal the one at marina square? hehe.. so far, how ur experience with their service?
 
Xiaoyan: Wow.. thats really cool.. imagine my Q no. increase every time I ballot.. 4 digits.. =(

Avatar: I've not signed up for the bridal package yet but intend to sign up with Precious Moment Bridal Studio Pte Ltd.. They price that they charge is actually quite cheap as they do not publicize.. mainly thru word of mouth.. My friend signed up with them last yr and shared that their service quite good.. I intend to sign up at the end of the yr..
 
Xiaoyan: icic...i chose 12th floor. hehe.. have u arrange for the first meet up with them? Have u plan when u going for photoshoot?

hehehe...i super kiasu.. i took my photoshoot 1 yr before my wedding. haha.. amended the layouts for at least 5,6 times..so only collected my albums after 8 mths.
 
avatar82: i don't think you are the only bride who take photoshoot 1yr before wedding. cos i am too! haha. but my photoshoot will only be next year apr. can't wait. wah, 5 to 6 times. Your BS allows?
 
Xiaoyan> No need to slim down lah.. got photoshop to help? hehe..

muilaman> haha..u taking in april? cool.. have u went down for your first appointment? In fact, I think I amended more than 6 times. There was once i went down, they amend on the spot. I go shopping then go back and review again. They amended again and so on. On one day, they amended plenty of times. hehehe..

hmm.. Mine is a JB BS, so probably more accomodating. Not sure about Spore. Went down during weekday when there are not many customers.
 
Xiaoyan> No need to slim down lah.. got photoshop to help? hehe..

muilaman> haha..u taking in april? cool.. have u went down for your first appointment? In fact, I think I amended more than 6 times. There was once i went down, they amend on the spot. I go shopping then go back and review again. They amended again and so on. On one day, they amended plenty of times. hehehe..

hmm.. Mine is a JB BS, so probably more accomodating. Not sure about Spore. Went down during weekday when there are not many customers.
 
avatar82: first appointment meaning? I have booked my BS already but have yet to choose gowns as it is still early. I see. No wonder la. I doubt SG BS are so accomodating. haa. just crossing fingers though.
 
Charlotte: Precious moments bridal? hehe.. makes me think of the cute figurines below

1513237.jpg


Guess the gowns should be as sweet as the shop name suggest. hehe..
 

avatar82: i see. nope. Mine is OTR so will only be choosing nearer the photoshoot date. AD only in 2012 so similarly will be choosing nearer the date.
 
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