(2009) Brides of year 2009
- Thread starter pringirl
- Start date
if its juz 2 of us, im very sure that we have no issues...but the prob comes in when his fam is involved. Duno i is marry him or his family. Juz feel that no one understands me suddenly..even him lor..
i hav requested for him to go for MPC with me..Hopefully we'll be able to settle these issues befoer they snowball..if not, then call off e wedding lor..haha
i hav requested for him to go for MPC with me..Hopefully we'll be able to settle these issues befoer they snowball..if not, then call off e wedding lor..haha
gracelourdes
New Member
to be honest, if he isn't able to tik for himself n stand up for himself, usually watever his parents say goes...if tat happens, wat's going to be next?
although we must be respectful towards our elders, when it's a time to say yes or no, we just have to learn to say it...
it seems v hard for alot of asians to learn to say no to their parents cos of their upbringing n watever reasons they can actually tik of...
however, my give is tis...if both in the relationship, 1 is going direction A and the other 1 is going direction B...then how will they ever reach their destination?
although we must be respectful towards our elders, when it's a time to say yes or no, we just have to learn to say it...
it seems v hard for alot of asians to learn to say no to their parents cos of their upbringing n watever reasons they can actually tik of...
however, my give is tis...if both in the relationship, 1 is going direction A and the other 1 is going direction B...then how will they ever reach their destination?
juski,
oh..he has an elder bro who is cming to 30, not attahced, only know jow to drink, smoke, with frends aft wk..u koe tat sort of person..its too long a story to repeat..hav told e gals abt it before...
sm more mi bf veri mcp lor...esp when others are ard..he xpect e wife to serve him rice, cook for him, etc..not tat i mind la..bt then im working leh..n his mum is 'free' at home, and they xpect me to do 80% of the chores after work and on weekends..Wah lao..maid oso gt time to rest lor..i worse off than a maid..
In fact i was so upset i told him lor..u wan to be traditional in ur tinking, then u shld b traditional all e wae..U are the man, u go earn $$, and i be housewife. how can u be a man when you need ur wife to 'pao tou lou mian'..only modern women work and juggle housework..but they juggle their own hsework in their own house, not in ur house when ur mum's occupation is a housewife...
sry...juz need to vent out..
oh..he has an elder bro who is cming to 30, not attahced, only know jow to drink, smoke, with frends aft wk..u koe tat sort of person..its too long a story to repeat..hav told e gals abt it before...
sm more mi bf veri mcp lor...esp when others are ard..he xpect e wife to serve him rice, cook for him, etc..not tat i mind la..bt then im working leh..n his mum is 'free' at home, and they xpect me to do 80% of the chores after work and on weekends..Wah lao..maid oso gt time to rest lor..i worse off than a maid..
In fact i was so upset i told him lor..u wan to be traditional in ur tinking, then u shld b traditional all e wae..U are the man, u go earn $$, and i be housewife. how can u be a man when you need ur wife to 'pao tou lou mian'..only modern women work and juggle housework..but they juggle their own hsework in their own house, not in ur house when ur mum's occupation is a housewife...
sry...juz need to vent out..
gracelourdes
New Member
xiaokeai, it's good to be proactive to want to solve such issues...going for MPC might help him to realise somethings...if he does, then good for u cos at least he's willing to work out n iron things out...if not, i'll be worried for u too...
cos there r many ppl (even frds tat i know) who r v attached to their families...such tat every decision or words or watever they say will involve their families...gd in a way but not gd in another way...
anyhow, u'll learn some of these stuff in ur MPC also...it's not going to be a miracle course...but if both r willing to work it out, definitely will work out one
no worries, xiaokeai...anytime u need a listening ear, we r here
cos there r many ppl (even frds tat i know) who r v attached to their families...such tat every decision or words or watever they say will involve their families...gd in a way but not gd in another way...
anyhow, u'll learn some of these stuff in ur MPC also...it's not going to be a miracle course...but if both r willing to work it out, definitely will work out one
no worries, xiaokeai...anytime u need a listening ear, we r here
grace
i totally agree wif u...i told him e exact same tings..he alwaes sae i disrespect his parents..yes..i agree tat we shld respect our elders..but tat does not mean we can condone their wrongs..Nobody is perfect in this world...If you koe tat ur elder is wrong and u still follow blindly, then tat is veri VERI stupid...
if his mum can sae tings like i seduce her husband, and spread to her relatives, then wat else can she not do...even tis sort of tings oso he still side wif his mum..wah piang..reali feel like slapping him at times to make him wake up his bloody idea lor...
though mi family is not as rich as his family, bt im brought up in totally diff manner..If my parents do aniting tat i feel is not right, we will tok abt it openly...I just feel tat it is not fair to request me to chnge my 20ova years of upbringing juz so to suit his family lor...
i totally agree wif u...i told him e exact same tings..he alwaes sae i disrespect his parents..yes..i agree tat we shld respect our elders..but tat does not mean we can condone their wrongs..Nobody is perfect in this world...If you koe tat ur elder is wrong and u still follow blindly, then tat is veri VERI stupid...
if his mum can sae tings like i seduce her husband, and spread to her relatives, then wat else can she not do...even tis sort of tings oso he still side wif his mum..wah piang..reali feel like slapping him at times to make him wake up his bloody idea lor...
though mi family is not as rich as his family, bt im brought up in totally diff manner..If my parents do aniting tat i feel is not right, we will tok abt it openly...I just feel tat it is not fair to request me to chnge my 20ova years of upbringing juz so to suit his family lor...
gracelourdes
New Member
the prob is, xiaokeai...he won't realise it...i tik ar, when u both live together alone, then he'll change...if he's forever going to be living with his parents, he'll just be doing watever he's doing now...
but to be honest ar, his mum is v too much lah...u seduce his husband? then y need to go thru her son? i do suppose his mum is a housewife who does nothing much but gossip with frds n neighbours n relatives n tik rubbish...i mean, just cos his dad has affairs outside, tat doesn't mean tat u will be 'the affair'
i figure his mum needs to keep her time preoccupied with constructive things tat will allow her tiking not to run TAT wild...
i guess also, u do have to come to terms with the kind of family u have n the kind of family he has..similarly, he will 'expect' u to live like how his family lives...same for u also...
so when's ur MPC? have u decided where to go?
but to be honest ar, his mum is v too much lah...u seduce his husband? then y need to go thru her son? i do suppose his mum is a housewife who does nothing much but gossip with frds n neighbours n relatives n tik rubbish...i mean, just cos his dad has affairs outside, tat doesn't mean tat u will be 'the affair'
i figure his mum needs to keep her time preoccupied with constructive things tat will allow her tiking not to run TAT wild...
i guess also, u do have to come to terms with the kind of family u have n the kind of family he has..similarly, he will 'expect' u to live like how his family lives...same for u also...
so when's ur MPC? have u decided where to go?
hi desjO,
the male side will carry the stuff in the basket. Usually the basket is provided by the male side. Female side do not need to give the items in basket. Use the basket from the male side during the exchange. The male side will bring the basket back to his home.
The basket is usually very big in size.
Hi johra,
sorry forgive my poor language..what is PMs...? stands for?
the male side will carry the stuff in the basket. Usually the basket is provided by the male side. Female side do not need to give the items in basket. Use the basket from the male side during the exchange. The male side will bring the basket back to his home.
The basket is usually very big in size.
Hi johra,
sorry forgive my poor language..what is PMs...? stands for?
gracelourdes
New Member
"i tik ar, when u both live together alone, then he'll change"
erm, i dun mean he'll change...i mean, he'll understand tat u both r man and wife now n not tagged on to his family....u noe wat i mean?
erm, i dun mean he'll change...i mean, he'll understand tat u both r man and wife now n not tagged on to his family....u noe wat i mean?
his_fairlady
New Member
tulips..i'm not sure about church wedding... so i guess u might have to source for venue coz its subject to availablity.. n nxt yr quite alot dates tken up esp on wkend.. unless u r tking wkday..
yaya..i koe wat u r trying to sae..bt bo pian, gt to stay together...
his mum reali overboard at times lor...like frog in the well like tat...there was once she saw tis mp3 ringtone 'i will luv u forever'(someting along e line), and she insisted tat my FFIL got mistress and tat e mistress msged him tat..when i try to xplain to her, she sae i no good, i liar, i gang up wif him to cheat her, etc..reali is ridiculous lor...
gossip not so bad la..bt then y gossip abt ur own FDIL? isnt tat veri stupid? giving those aunties a topic to tok abt?? n hw will other pple lk at me? And if she reali hate me tat much, y agree to ur son marrying mi?? imagine, down e road, she overhears some auntie toking about me, do u tink she can rem tat she was e one who started e rumors? haizz duno wat she tinking la...im not a frog..keke...
his mum reali overboard at times lor...like frog in the well like tat...there was once she saw tis mp3 ringtone 'i will luv u forever'(someting along e line), and she insisted tat my FFIL got mistress and tat e mistress msged him tat..when i try to xplain to her, she sae i no good, i liar, i gang up wif him to cheat her, etc..reali is ridiculous lor...
gossip not so bad la..bt then y gossip abt ur own FDIL? isnt tat veri stupid? giving those aunties a topic to tok abt?? n hw will other pple lk at me? And if she reali hate me tat much, y agree to ur son marrying mi?? imagine, down e road, she overhears some auntie toking about me, do u tink she can rem tat she was e one who started e rumors? haizz duno wat she tinking la...im not a frog..keke...
to be NTUC member you must be Union member...
the new card is the Uplus card (silver one) but the old one still works just that got more priviledges...
hhhhmmm...family stuff...i will stay clear...vent it out all you need here...we will listen...but i will not comment..."jia jia you ben nan nian de jin"
the new card is the Uplus card (silver one) but the old one still works just that got more priviledges...
hhhhmmm...family stuff...i will stay clear...vent it out all you need here...we will listen...but i will not comment..."jia jia you ben nan nian de jin"
saggiegirl
New Member
charmaine> ya lar..wedding set no discount de mah...but quite reasonable price..compared to outside..then we top up a bit for the bedsheet cover so less than $150...which is cheaper than those outside shops..coz mummy say she old liao and ask me to buy first and claim from her later...hahaha..
hee hee i personally like the 1st and last one...cute cute bears ...
i am decorating my angpao boxes with wrapping paper with cute cute couple and xi wordings
asking hubby to help as he is better at handicraft...
hee hee i personally like the 1st and last one...cute cute bears ...
i am decorating my angpao boxes with wrapping paper with cute cute couple and xi wordings
asking hubby to help as he is better at handicraft...gracelourdes
New Member
anyway, u can check up the latest MPC they have frm www.mcys.org.sg
haiz...his mum also damn headache lah...i guess, she kena paranoid by the 'surprises' his dad gives him liao tat she tiks the same of every woman incl. u lah...jialat man...
u go for the MPC n see how lah...just go with an open mind...be prepared for 'surprises' tat u get thruout ur MPC also hor....just tot i let u noe nia
haiz...his mum also damn headache lah...i guess, she kena paranoid by the 'surprises' his dad gives him liao tat she tiks the same of every woman incl. u lah...jialat man...
u go for the MPC n see how lah...just go with an open mind...be prepared for 'surprises' tat u get thruout ur MPC also hor....just tot i let u noe nia
i'm only child/son, but my parents believe in letting me choose my own path, ever since i chose my own sec sch after PSLE...
every family is different...so it's really hard to comment much esp when we dunno the details behind what happened. maybe something happened to the sons previously that made the mother more protective and would like to keep her son near her...without knowing such things, i would rather not comment much as such things can be very sensitive.
i chose to stay near my parents and my new place is about 5 bus stops away. in case anything happen i can rush home within a short time and also can let them look after my kids in future.
what i do believe is that such differences must be ironed out else u will only end up with an unhappy marriage...communication is the key, no matter between the couple or with the parents...they must meet eye-to-eye on certain things or the strain will be on the couple.
this is the reason y i chose to stay on our own but near to my parents. chinese have a saying which roughly means "it's easy to meet up once in a while but not stay under one roof". i guess this sorts of describe the situation.
every family is different...so it's really hard to comment much esp when we dunno the details behind what happened. maybe something happened to the sons previously that made the mother more protective and would like to keep her son near her...without knowing such things, i would rather not comment much as such things can be very sensitive.
i chose to stay near my parents and my new place is about 5 bus stops away. in case anything happen i can rush home within a short time and also can let them look after my kids in future.
what i do believe is that such differences must be ironed out else u will only end up with an unhappy marriage...communication is the key, no matter between the couple or with the parents...they must meet eye-to-eye on certain things or the strain will be on the couple.
this is the reason y i chose to stay on our own but near to my parents. chinese have a saying which roughly means "it's easy to meet up once in a while but not stay under one roof". i guess this sorts of describe the situation.
guess its reali e diff in upbringing ba, and diff mgmt style..haha..
i anticipated all these, tats y i wanted to move out...but bo pian...even if i wan to stay near his parents oso cant coz e whole area is all private estates...i dun hav so much $$ to buy a unit near them.
i anticipated all these, tats y i wanted to move out...but bo pian...even if i wan to stay near his parents oso cant coz e whole area is all private estates...i dun hav so much $$ to buy a unit near them.
gracelourdes
New Member
oh ya, xiaokeai...u might want to consider going for those MPC tat do allow u both to do tests before u both actually start the course...then ur MPC counsellor would know which r the areas of concern...
anyhow, i guess sometimes we might catch ourselves in the rut of who's right and who's wrong tat we lost the whole point wat's happening...
nevertheless, there's always choices...whether bad one or good one, we all always do have choices...erm, dun get me wrong n tik tat i'm toking abt finding the shortest way out hor...
erm, 28 nov is wat time ar? meet where ar? we going thai express is it?
anyhow, i guess sometimes we might catch ourselves in the rut of who's right and who's wrong tat we lost the whole point wat's happening...
nevertheless, there's always choices...whether bad one or good one, we all always do have choices...erm, dun get me wrong n tik tat i'm toking abt finding the shortest way out hor...
erm, 28 nov is wat time ar? meet where ar? we going thai express is it?
blue_diamond
New Member
hi Tulips,
In fact me start sourcing for nearly a year...i am picky at the same time concious as well....just wanted to see the diff set of houses then evluate on what we like n needs...ultimaely it a big investment...so i am rather kiasu abt it...hehehe...like gg to supermarket...hahahah
In fact me start sourcing for nearly a year...i am picky at the same time concious as well....just wanted to see the diff set of houses then evluate on what we like n needs...ultimaely it a big investment...so i am rather kiasu abt it...hehehe...like gg to supermarket...hahahah
some things cannot help one...i got a friend's gf whole family all the uncles kena caught with affairs before...end up his gf dun trust guys and super possessive...
her whole family like that...u cannot blame her for being paranoid sometimes...when she grew up in this kind of environment where one by one the uncles got caught...including her own dad caught with another lady...
i'm just saying an example but this may not be what happened...that's y his mum behave that way?
stay apart will reduce the chance of friction and thus ensure a smoother r/s with in-laws i guess...even if go home for dinner once or twice a week for dinner still better than staying together...even if next block or next floor i also dun mind...but of cos there are also positive examples where extended families stay happily together lar...so dun knock the whole boat over with a single stroke...
her whole family like that...u cannot blame her for being paranoid sometimes...when she grew up in this kind of environment where one by one the uncles got caught...including her own dad caught with another lady...
i'm just saying an example but this may not be what happened...that's y his mum behave that way?
stay apart will reduce the chance of friction and thus ensure a smoother r/s with in-laws i guess...even if go home for dinner once or twice a week for dinner still better than staying together...even if next block or next floor i also dun mind...but of cos there are also positive examples where extended families stay happily together lar...so dun knock the whole boat over with a single stroke...
gracelourdes
New Member
u noe ar, it's always good to have guy's perspectives
haahahaha...thai express bad omen...then where else to makan? food court? or u guys prefer elsewhere?
haahahaha...thai express bad omen...then where else to makan? food court? or u guys prefer elsewhere?
hi mar'09 brides !
can i check with u all, do we have to ask those guests tat we r inviting before hand whether they r coming or not before giving them the invitation card ? haa.. quite confused..
Btw, my AD is 8th March 2009 !
http://sourplumlover.blogspot.com / http://hammerapplenut.blogspot.com
Cheerios~
can i check with u all, do we have to ask those guests tat we r inviting before hand whether they r coming or not before giving them the invitation card ? haa.. quite confused..
Btw, my AD is 8th March 2009 !
http://sourplumlover.blogspot.com / http://hammerapplenut.blogspot.com
Cheerios~
his_fairlady
New Member
hi blue_diamond.. i guess everyone spent alot of time sourcing for house venue.. coz its e place tt u will live in everyday n up to yrs.. surely u wont wan to spent on bad location n high value hse
how about cafe cartel? easy to locate...
xiaokeai, dun think abt it this way...think positive...i'm sure there's positive things that attracted u to him in the 1st place...talk thru...find out the problems and solve them one at a time...
sometimes solving things in a package is much harder...dun try to bash thru a forest at a go...try hacking down 1 tree at a time and i'm sure you can get thru to the other side together with your HTB...gd luck and all the best!
eh...wat's so different abt guys' perspective? dun think i offered much different from you ladies' opinions...
xiaokeai, dun think abt it this way...think positive...i'm sure there's positive things that attracted u to him in the 1st place...talk thru...find out the problems and solve them one at a time...
sometimes solving things in a package is much harder...dun try to bash thru a forest at a go...try hacking down 1 tree at a time and i'm sure you can get thru to the other side together with your HTB...gd luck and all the best!
eh...wat's so different abt guys' perspective? dun think i offered much different from you ladies' opinions...
gracelourdes
New Member
aiyah, xiaokeai...remember wat aroh said abt jia jia you ben nan nian jing? i mean, everyone n every relationship has their own probs...
anyway, just always remember tat it's not abt how big the probs r...it's always abt how u go abt solving the probs n getting it solved...i tik tat's more impt...cos alot of times we always tik our probs r so jialat n diff to solve but forgetting tat there r many more unfortunate ppl out there...
oh ya hor...cafe cartel also ok leh...somemore, price of food quite reasonable...i'm ok with tat...
"dun try to bash thru a forest at a go" WAHHAHAHA...i seriously like tis phrase tat u put, aroh...but the point is good...
hehehe...depends lah...sometimes, we gals can get carried away...of cos we do get to the destination just a tad slower nia...hehhee
anyway, just always remember tat it's not abt how big the probs r...it's always abt how u go abt solving the probs n getting it solved...i tik tat's more impt...cos alot of times we always tik our probs r so jialat n diff to solve but forgetting tat there r many more unfortunate ppl out there...
oh ya hor...cafe cartel also ok leh...somemore, price of food quite reasonable...i'm ok with tat...
"dun try to bash thru a forest at a go" WAHHAHAHA...i seriously like tis phrase tat u put, aroh...but the point is good...
hehehe...depends lah...sometimes, we gals can get carried away...of cos we do get to the destination just a tad slower nia...hehhee
aprilcheong
New Member
Sherry,
Yea I really like the boxes for sweetestmoments.. they're too cute lah. Hehe..
I'll be choosing kua, jap traditional costume, EG, and 2 wedding gowns - 1 for studio and 1 for outdoor shoot. Haven't decide if I'll be wearing the same gowns for my AD, depends on whether I like them well enough.
I hope ur photos will turn out good. I think it depends alot on the PG's skills too. Where did u go for outdoor shoot?
Yea I really like the boxes for sweetestmoments.. they're too cute lah. Hehe..
I'll be choosing kua, jap traditional costume, EG, and 2 wedding gowns - 1 for studio and 1 for outdoor shoot. Haven't decide if I'll be wearing the same gowns for my AD, depends on whether I like them well enough.
I hope ur photos will turn out good. I think it depends alot on the PG's skills too. Where did u go for outdoor shoot?
aprilcheong
New Member
Hi applenut,
We have the same AD!
Where are u having ur banquet?
I think we should confirm the guests that are coming before giving out wedding cards? We definitely have to confirm the guest list as we have to plan the seating arrangements and the number of tables we need.
It's not something like they turn up if they can make it but not turn up if they can't. Correct me if I'm wrong? Besides, most restaurant packages only prints a certain percentage of the number of guests u're inviting for ur wedding cards.
We have the same AD!
Where are u having ur banquet? I think we should confirm the guests that are coming before giving out wedding cards? We definitely have to confirm the guest list as we have to plan the seating arrangements and the number of tables we need.
It's not something like they turn up if they can make it but not turn up if they can't. Correct me if I'm wrong? Besides, most restaurant packages only prints a certain percentage of the number of guests u're inviting for ur wedding cards.
hi happyfairlady,
thanks for the advice. we do have some backup plans. will see how it goes. ultimately we want to avoid planning seating arrangement. weekday is not an option to us though. will have to be on a sat.
hi blue-diamond,
we are also picky but then, guess we are not so on the ball. this house hunting and wedding preps have run into a halt several times because both so busy at work.
thanks for the advice. we do have some backup plans. will see how it goes. ultimately we want to avoid planning seating arrangement. weekday is not an option to us though. will have to be on a sat.
hi blue-diamond,
we are also picky but then, guess we are not so on the ball. this house hunting and wedding preps have run into a halt several times because both so busy at work.
oh juski u found venue oredi uh?
kk i dun haf to go dig my ROM quotes oredi den haha
XiaoKeAi.. wen 2 families unite in marriage, sure will haf probz.. no escapin dat.. juz dat ur FMIL is a bit paranoid la.. guess goin for MPC will really help.. i wanna go wif my HTB too..
oh is Cafe Cartel the 1 juz beside the escalator from city hall mrt?
kk i dun haf to go dig my ROM quotes oredi den
haha XiaoKeAi.. wen 2 families unite in marriage, sure will haf probz.. no escapin dat.. juz dat ur FMIL is a bit paranoid la.. guess goin for MPC will really help.. i wanna go wif my HTB too..
oh is Cafe Cartel the 1 juz beside the escalator from city hall mrt?