Hi Akino,
There are many ways to go about the card writing. Think like ling mentioned, do check with the card printer on the norm of printing first. Because some time the stuff that we wanted are actually not correct/ improper. If the card printer think its alright for your way, then print the card in 2 batches. 1 batch for your hb's side, according to your mil's style. 1 batch for your friends & relatives side, your style. But of course, don't show them to your mil. hee..
And for the 4 dian jin and roast pig, if your mil doesn't want to give, so be it. Both of you can make up for it, just get your own 4 dian jin and order a roast pig for your mum. No point insisting that your mil should get it when she obviously doesn't want to and making yourself upset. And if by getting the roast pig yourself can make your mum happy, why not, right?
To me, wedding is just a one day event and the 1st day of your marriage. Don't ruin your relationships with your in-laws even before the 1st day. There's still a long way to go for your marriage.
Wishing you strength and luck.