frostedpanels3
New Member
Hi there fellow readers, I have been lurking around this forum for months, and finally decided to revive my account that was created a while ago. Decided to post it here because I’m not sure who I can talk to.
My SO and I are thinking of settling down and going ahead with the BTO application next year, after I have worked about a year plus. He is currently still studying and he will be graduating in 2019.
My SO is the only child and only Son in his family. He have discussed the BTO application with his parents and talked to me about it.
I have several issues here:
1) His parents have stated that we must apply for a 5 room flat for our BTO. We wanted to apply either a 3/4 room flat at most. I went to HDB’s website to calculate the monthly instalment needed to pay, its way more than what I can afford monthly for the instalment
2) His parents said the flat must be of walking distance from their current place, which is across the street or within the next few blocks. From what I know, there will not be any new BTOs coming up in that area. The next nearest is probably Punggol alr.
His parents also mentioned that if we are unable to get a BTO in their area, we will have to get a 5 room resale flat.
3) His parents wants to cohabit with us in future, this for the reason for getting a 5 room flat. They are thinking of renting their entire place out and moving in with us.
Honestly, I am not keen for cohabiting because of potential conflicts that can arise and his mum is an anal kind of person. Because of very different living habits, I do not want to stay together (stayed over at his house before, so I sort of know how they’re like). We want privacy and no interference of parenting methods from future PILs.
4) His parents have offered to help us pay for the flat if we’re getting a big house. How do I politely reject them, because I’m afraid that in future, it will feel as if I owe them something and might be use against us (like we have to listen to whatever they say and follow them), after all they’re SO’s parents.
I’m currently staying in the east side, so I compromised in this aspect that he wants to apply for flats in the north east area. (And not somewhere in between the both of us - near to my parents and his parents).
I voiced my concerns to SO, and told him that we should reach a common consensus to avoid potential conflicts with one another. But he just told me he doesn’t want to discuss about it anymore for the time being. I don’t want to make him feel torn between his parents and myself, at the same time, I don’t know how I should approach these issues and it has been lingering on my mind for quite a while. Please help
My SO and I are thinking of settling down and going ahead with the BTO application next year, after I have worked about a year plus. He is currently still studying and he will be graduating in 2019.
My SO is the only child and only Son in his family. He have discussed the BTO application with his parents and talked to me about it.
I have several issues here:
1) His parents have stated that we must apply for a 5 room flat for our BTO. We wanted to apply either a 3/4 room flat at most. I went to HDB’s website to calculate the monthly instalment needed to pay, its way more than what I can afford monthly for the instalment
2) His parents said the flat must be of walking distance from their current place, which is across the street or within the next few blocks. From what I know, there will not be any new BTOs coming up in that area. The next nearest is probably Punggol alr.
His parents also mentioned that if we are unable to get a BTO in their area, we will have to get a 5 room resale flat.
3) His parents wants to cohabit with us in future, this for the reason for getting a 5 room flat. They are thinking of renting their entire place out and moving in with us.
Honestly, I am not keen for cohabiting because of potential conflicts that can arise and his mum is an anal kind of person. Because of very different living habits, I do not want to stay together (stayed over at his house before, so I sort of know how they’re like). We want privacy and no interference of parenting methods from future PILs.
4) His parents have offered to help us pay for the flat if we’re getting a big house. How do I politely reject them, because I’m afraid that in future, it will feel as if I owe them something and might be use against us (like we have to listen to whatever they say and follow them), after all they’re SO’s parents.
I’m currently staying in the east side, so I compromised in this aspect that he wants to apply for flats in the north east area. (And not somewhere in between the both of us - near to my parents and his parents).
I voiced my concerns to SO, and told him that we should reach a common consensus to avoid potential conflicts with one another. But he just told me he doesn’t want to discuss about it anymore for the time being. I don’t want to make him feel torn between his parents and myself, at the same time, I don’t know how I should approach these issues and it has been lingering on my mind for quite a while. Please help