Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

July 2013

6 Ways to Be a Calm Bride While Wedding Planning

By Jaclyn Lim

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For the busy modern bride-to-be, planning a wedding can get overwhelming. But that doesn’t mean that you should be tearing your hair out as you deliberate over gown designs, banquet dishes or wedding themes. SingaporeBrides shows you six ways to lose the stress.

1. Decide what’s important – and toss out the rest

A magazine-worthy wedding is usually planned down to the last detail, from beautifully arranged flowers to romantic march-in music to a customised fondant cake. But if you do not have the luxury of engaging a wedding planner, it is practically impossible for you (and your groom-to-be!) to ensure that the big event is everything you wished for, and more.

Think about what’s important to you. Maybe you’ve been thinking of donning a flouncy ballgown since you were a little girl. Or perhaps, you believe in first impressions – so everything to do with the wedding venue has to impress. It can even be as simple as the need to have a real – instead of a dummy – wedding cake to round up the dinner. Some aspects of the wedding will definitely be more important to you than others.

So find out what they are, and toss out the rest. For instance, if you have decided to focus on the gown and bridal photography, don’t sweat over insignificant details for the wedding banquet. This means you should also try your best not to break down if the banquet coordinator misses an appointment with you, or prepare the wrong box of wedding favours on your big day.

2. Get your groom involved

Too many ambitious brides-to-be set out to plan the event-of-a-lifetime on their own. They scour wedding forums on a daily basis, fret over collecting as many banquet package prices as possible, and scrutinise blog reviews of bridal and photography studios. But if you don’t want to go crazy sweating the small stuff, the major buzzword for wedding planning is “delegate”.

In the early stages of your wedding preparations, the first person you should deploy is your groom-to-be. Schedule a time to sit down with each other for a casual, stress-free discussion. The best time to do this is on a weekend afternoon, when the both of you are less likely to be bothered by work responsibilities. Draw up a list of the broad areas of wedding planning, like “bridal boutiques”, “wedding photography”, and “wedding banquet”.

Then pick the areas you want to focus on, and let him settle the rest. For instance, you can choose to take charge of all things gown-related (including his wedding suit) while he has final say in the choice of the wedding photographer and venue. The good thing about doing it this way is that both of you get to work on your interest areas – and that makes wedding planning more fun than stressful.

3. Don’t Pinterest everything

In the days before the World Wide Web, brides-to-be could only rely on bridal magazines for their monthly dose of inspiration. How much things have changed. Today, brides-to-be are inundated with information and images, from comprehensive wedding portals like ours to oh-so-gorgeous Pinterest boards. With all your time spent consuming such wedding media, it’s only inevitable that your brain gets bogged down and fogged up.

In fact, constantly checking out wedding forums and fashion spreads, mood boards and colour charts can lead to a build-up of pressure to have a picture-perfect day. So try this: Avoid over-doing your wedding research. There are a few ways to do this. For instance, do not give in to temptations to check out wedding websites during work hours (and leaving 10 browser tabs open on your desktop!). Also, do not upload or re-pin photographs on Facebook or Pinterest at every opportunity.

Instead, schedule a certain time – like every Saturday afternoon – to indulge in your wedding research (and gush over pretty photos!). When you deliberately set aside a timeframe to do so, you will be more effective at ticking off that long to-do list – and become less anxious as a result.

4. DIY projects are not a must

Paper pom-poms. “Getting Married” signs. Customised flag buntings. These days, do-it-yourself (DIY) projects are getting remarkably popular with many brides-to-be, who look to Martha Stewart magazines, Pinterest boards and Etsy stores for craft ideas and step-by-step guides. All well and good, except that DIY projects can turn out to be both time-consuming and physically exhausting.

So if you’re considering adding DIY projects to that long list of wedding to-dos, be sure to start way in advance. First, draw up a list of DIY projects that you intend to tackle about 10 to 12 months before your wedding. Be sure to keep it manageable (you are not a full-time Etsy seller). Next, print out any paper templates and instructions that you need, and stock up on craft materials like UHU glue and paper cutter. Then, attempt these DIY projects gradually over the next few months.

As you do so, remember not to be over ambitious. You should not be killing yourself churning out personalised favours for all 500 of your wedding guests. Neither should you feel obliged to make silk floral corsages for all your bridesmaids. You should be keeping things real – and doing the DIY projects that matter. Most importantly, leave the month leading up to the wedding free of DIY projects. This ensures that you have time to rest and recover from all that crafting!

5. Take time out for yourself

As your wedding date draws nearer, learn to calm those crazy nerves. Think about what relaxes you most. It can be a soothing soak in the bath, a short run through Botanic Gardens, or spa massage sessions every two weeks. No matter which you choose, what truly matters is that you take a crucial step back from the wedding planning to focus on yourself.

Another good way to do this is to schedule regular date nights with your groom-to-be. Instead of spending every weekend meeting wedding decorators or checking out potential solemnisation venues, be sure to do things the both of you truly enjoy – like wakeboarding or catching a movie together. Try not to hammer out wedding details during this time. Take your mind off pre-wedding problems.

When it all gets a little too much for you – and your groom-to-be – consider getting away from it all to forget about things. Get yourselves on a discounted flight to a regional destination like Bangkok or Hong Kong (and shop the stress away), or check into a local hotel for a weekend staycation (to sleep the stress off). This will help you to stay sane till you say: “I do”.

6. Accept that your Big Day will not be perfect

Let’s face it: Not a single wedding will go exactly according to plan. There will always be a little something that goes wrong during this high-octane day. If it’s not a slip-up with the wedding flowers (“They gave us baby’s breath instead of sweet william as accompaniments!”), it’s a genuine mistake with the caterer (“They forgot we wanted cod fillets!”).

Here’s a tip: When you wake up on the morning of your Big Day, tell yourself that all that matters is that you are getting married to the man you love. Nothing else should ruffle your feathers or cause a high-pitched shriek. Of course, it’s easier said than done. To stay Zen, simply delegate a trusted friend as your wedding coordinator and direct questions to him or her.

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember why you are getting married in the first place – to spend the rest of your life with your partner as man and wife. So, keep your focus on that goal and let the single-day stress of your wedding day melt away.

Credits: Feature image from Amelia and William’s Dreamy Destination Pre-Wedding Adventure in Indonesia by Fire, Wood and Earth.

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