Wedding Guest Issue

[JohnNPG]

Hi all, I'm starting this thread to talk about Wedding guest issues which many couple will encounter, Just want to find out if it's very normal to have argument and quarrel occurs during guest invitations?

And does it really matters if brides or grooms are having lesser guest than one another?

Is it a fault for having big family? And is it very pathetic to have a rather small family?

Hope to get some opinion and advices...Thanks all

 

[Loveinstills]

rest assure that couple argue over everything under the sun and moon. but the arguments gets quite intense especially on subject matter such as weddings. therefore, it is pretty normal to argue even about guest invitations.

it doesn't matter who has more guests. what matters is whom you invite. its your wedding after all and you would like to invite those that means the most to you. (and not just to make up the numbers. trust me, your guests will know)

having a large family or small one is irrelevant, what matters again is whether its a cohesive family as oppose to one that is full of strife.

Some pointers on addressing such issues.

1. Its your wedding. Focus on whats more important. Don't splurge on expensive venues, deco etc and end up with a huge bill to pay. Put priority of things that will last like your precious moments and you guys get to enjoy it too.
2. Don't invite just about anyone that you can think of. Chances are there will be some who will fly aeroplane.
3. Give and take when it comes to decision making. If it doesn't kill you, its better to promote harmony then having agony. But if you feel strongly on your own opinion, voice it out and discuss it like adult. Because after this affair, you still have to discuss about family matters, parenting etc etc.


hope that helps

 

[JohnNPG]

rest assure that couple argue over everything under the sun and moon. but the arguments gets quite intense especially on subject matter such as weddings. therefore, it is pretty normal to argue even about guest invitations.

it doesn't matter who has more guests. what matters is whom you invite. its your wedding after all and you would like to invite those that means the most to you. (and not just to make up the numbers. trust me, your guests will know)

having a large family or small one is irrelevant, what matters again is whether its a cohesive family as oppose to one that is full of strife.

Some pointers on addressing such issues.

1. Its your wedding. Focus on whats more important. Don't splurge on expensive venues, deco etc and end up with a huge bill to pay. Put priority of things that will last like your precious moments and you guys get to enjoy it too.
2. Don't invite just about anyone that you can think of. Chances are there will be some who will fly aeroplane.
3. Give and take when it comes to decision making. If it doesn't kill you, its better to promote harmony then having agony. But if you feel strongly on your own opinion, voice it out and discuss it like adult. Because after this affair, you still have to discuss about family matters, parenting etc etc.


hope that helps

Thank you Loveinstills for the reply, Really grateful for all the tips and advise given, Definitely it will help. Big thanks!!

 

[Loveinstills]

you are most welcome. Welcome to the club by the way

 

[miloice]

completely normal. at the end of the day, folks will have all kinds of expectations, it doesn't mean you must comply. Between the couple, should work together on something feasible and win-win. So, if mother insist tables, and husband cannot afford, the couple can share resources to cope with it. some will expect ang bao to be kept by parents etc.

Just work within the budget TOGETHER.

 

[miz-Que]

I come from quite big family too.. just parents relatives alone already 10 tables. I just had a honest talk to parents that we can't afford to give them more than 10 tables cos we just paid deposit for Our home.

Lucky they understood and we agreed to have a smaller wedding with family n some friends.

No harm to be honest.

 

[kytheon]

Nah, my htb family got about 6 where i only planning to invite at most 3 tables. No point inviting those you hardly know or see. Like what others say, it is YOUR WEDDING, so make the decision (be firm and nicely) and move on

 

[M38]

Its common to have disagreement but it can be solved by communication. There will be difference in opinion as we live in different generation as our parents. I think most times pressure come from your respective parents for they hope to have as many of their friends and relatives sharing this joyous occassion with them. And of cos, the older generation will want to "repay" the invitation to their friends as they were themselves invited to their friends' childrens' wedding before.

I think its vital both the groom and bride be strong here. You cant pleased everybody. Be fair to both the parents when it comes to allocation unless they volunteer to have lesser . I am lucky that my wife and I are strong and my in laws are very easy going people. Communication is key here. Face-value matters less unless you want to burden yourself with debts just to please eveyone. Hope it helps.

 

[Weddedcouple]

Hi all, I'm starting this thread to talk about Wedding guest issues which many couple will encounter, Just want to find out if it's very normal to have argument and quarrel occurs during guest invitations?

And does it really matters if brides or grooms are having lesser guest than one another?

Is it a fault for having big family? And is it very pathetic to have a rather small family?

Hope to get some opinion and advices...Thanks all

Normal to have different number of tables.

Our wedding the bride side got many more tables something like 20+ to 6 than groom side cos bride family much much bigger.

And the groom was paying for most of it. Still so what? The groom knew his bride loved her family and friends dearly and he was glad he agreed.

Cos on the wedding day the geniue happiness and love the brides friend and family showered on the bride was priceless.

It also helped ang paos recovered most of the cost to the couple's surprise !