This is going to be a bit lengthy and draggy, I apologize in advance for it.
I recently had my big day all packed into a solemnization followed by a wedding buffet lunch and ending with tea ceremony over the weekend.
While the whole event went on pretty smoothly that I remain grateful to, the event was marred by a few inconsiderate individuals' actions.
My parents had been divorced for quite a while.
To give some context, prior to the wedding, I informed my father to extend the invitation to his younger sister and his kid brother (my paternal uncle). As my old man doesn't have a spectacular track record of doing the right thing, I separately informed the my paternal uncle of the event and request him to extend the invitation to his sister as well. On both ends, both my old man and my paternal uncle (PU) acknowledged that they will extend the invitation to the sister, come 2 weeks before wedding both of them message back and insist that I personally extend the invitation to the sister whom we haven't stay in contact for the past 7 years and counting. In accordance to customary traditions for Chinese, it is the parents of the groom and bride to extend invitation to relatives while the groom and bride extend invitations to their friends and acquaintances. Under this belief, my mother did the same and extended the invitation to my maternal family. Hence, this very behavior irks me to no end why should I for the sake of fulfilling someone's egoistic needs to feel important and extend the invitation myself and I convey the message to PU to pass the message on, that as far as I am concern invitation has been extended, if she comes so be it, if she doesn't fine as well and the conversation died off from there.
Come the big day,
1. she turned up late to the session,
2. dressed shabbily,
3. brought her spouse which is a plus one without my consent nor was I informed,
4. went and attacked the most expensive items on the buffet line stuffed herself and her spouse full and down the red wine like no tomorrow.
5. after the solemnization, I brought my bride to the tables and address the guests, when I addressed her, she snubbed me and turned her head away.
6. disappear from the wedding lunch after she had her fill.
7. went on to inform PU that she is there as a guest to show support for her eldest brother (my old man)
I only realized that she brought a plus one after the event when my other kin on the same table as her informed me. I was utterly infuriated at her behavior for this as she can jolly well don't turn up for this once in a lifetime event for me and spoiled it by her bad behavior. This had brought on much grief to my mother as she was visibly upset when she learnt of all of the above action after the event had ended and my maternal relatives relate these happenings to her.
I like to seek out advise on any legal recourse or actions that I can take against her.
In context, the entire wedding is paid out of my own pocket and there is no formal records of me sending the invitation to her. So if she claim that she came on invitation of my father, unfortunately this will not stick, as he does not have the authority nor rights to invite anyone until/unless I empowered/allowed him to. taking a step backwards, even if she can wiggle out of this claiming ties to my father etc, my initial invitation to her which had since been rescinded doesn't include the plus one. So If I can bury her with her plus one will be a bonus, if not, I can find satisfaction with nailing the plus one to the stake as well.
I admit that I am petty and vindictive. But the tears in my mom's eye when she learnt of these is all the motivation I need to go all out war on these pests.
Too long dint read (TLDR) version.
an unwelcome guest turn up wedding with a plus one uninvited and behave badly. Groom wants to seek advice for counter actions to even things out
I recently had my big day all packed into a solemnization followed by a wedding buffet lunch and ending with tea ceremony over the weekend.
While the whole event went on pretty smoothly that I remain grateful to, the event was marred by a few inconsiderate individuals' actions.
My parents had been divorced for quite a while.
To give some context, prior to the wedding, I informed my father to extend the invitation to his younger sister and his kid brother (my paternal uncle). As my old man doesn't have a spectacular track record of doing the right thing, I separately informed the my paternal uncle of the event and request him to extend the invitation to his sister as well. On both ends, both my old man and my paternal uncle (PU) acknowledged that they will extend the invitation to the sister, come 2 weeks before wedding both of them message back and insist that I personally extend the invitation to the sister whom we haven't stay in contact for the past 7 years and counting. In accordance to customary traditions for Chinese, it is the parents of the groom and bride to extend invitation to relatives while the groom and bride extend invitations to their friends and acquaintances. Under this belief, my mother did the same and extended the invitation to my maternal family. Hence, this very behavior irks me to no end why should I for the sake of fulfilling someone's egoistic needs to feel important and extend the invitation myself and I convey the message to PU to pass the message on, that as far as I am concern invitation has been extended, if she comes so be it, if she doesn't fine as well and the conversation died off from there.
Come the big day,
1. she turned up late to the session,
2. dressed shabbily,
3. brought her spouse which is a plus one without my consent nor was I informed,
4. went and attacked the most expensive items on the buffet line stuffed herself and her spouse full and down the red wine like no tomorrow.
5. after the solemnization, I brought my bride to the tables and address the guests, when I addressed her, she snubbed me and turned her head away.
6. disappear from the wedding lunch after she had her fill.
7. went on to inform PU that she is there as a guest to show support for her eldest brother (my old man)
I only realized that she brought a plus one after the event when my other kin on the same table as her informed me. I was utterly infuriated at her behavior for this as she can jolly well don't turn up for this once in a lifetime event for me and spoiled it by her bad behavior. This had brought on much grief to my mother as she was visibly upset when she learnt of all of the above action after the event had ended and my maternal relatives relate these happenings to her.
I like to seek out advise on any legal recourse or actions that I can take against her.
In context, the entire wedding is paid out of my own pocket and there is no formal records of me sending the invitation to her. So if she claim that she came on invitation of my father, unfortunately this will not stick, as he does not have the authority nor rights to invite anyone until/unless I empowered/allowed him to. taking a step backwards, even if she can wiggle out of this claiming ties to my father etc, my initial invitation to her which had since been rescinded doesn't include the plus one. So If I can bury her with her plus one will be a bonus, if not, I can find satisfaction with nailing the plus one to the stake as well.
I admit that I am petty and vindictive. But the tears in my mom's eye when she learnt of these is all the motivation I need to go all out war on these pests.
Too long dint read (TLDR) version.
an unwelcome guest turn up wedding with a plus one uninvited and behave badly. Groom wants to seek advice for counter actions to even things out
