Suffocate relationship

[qwertan]

When started a relationship with him, alrd helped him with credit card debts. After 3years and one week before wedding, received loan shark call due to his gambling debts. Wedding still proceed due to one week only left although I am totally upset and stress. He apologised for loan shark harassment and he won't gamble again. He gamble because want to raise more money for wedding and hope I understand.

Wedding preparations he let me handle alone with excuses flat , work got issues so no money can contribute to the wedding and let me paid first. I don't mind to pay first because I love him. But actually he used up all money for gambling.

Until end of the wedding, his family ask me to swipe my credit card for bride side tables due to their credit card limit exceed. And they will pay me back after open the red pockets. After that bride side red pocket unable to cover but groom side table able to cover, I ask them help but their replied is they actually just nice to cover and sorry unable to help of bride side tables expenses. Credit card payment I realise that I got charge additional one table of groom side table and ask them to pay me back since I lost money of bride tables and they not even give one table to bride family. But they totally stop reply and ignore me. My Husband just said don't worry he 'will' pay me back in future.

Just after wedding and I also realise that my husband gambling again which he promise me he won't anymore. And I totally collapsed. Wedding, groom one table charge on me, he gave my number to loan shark for threatened. His family took granted of me and they took the extra money from the red pocket. (Very sure got extra money after cover wedding banquet), totally I lost bout 20k.

After wedding I nvr stay even one night with him, and don't want to move in to his flat due to scare of loan shark recognise me, CNY also nvr go their place and they nvr call me too. Although my Husband text me everyday and claim that he will pay me back all the money he owe me, but want me to give him the last chance, he need my encouragement and he won't touch my money anymore. Ask me don't look so heavily to money.

My family ask me think twice since is my marriage. They don't mind I separate with him even just two months we married. He keep begging me not to leave him. His passport, IC, ATM card all keep by his family and Singpass chg to stop him gambling and borrow $ from loan shark anymore, he has no way to gambling anymore from that time. Even my birthday he need to get approved and money from his family from his bank account.

Should I give up this relationship or continue? He treat me well all the while except gambling and loan shark issues. But my heart got a huge thorn because of the loan shark calls. If a man love me he will protect me instead of let me get harass and threaten. I understand that love him need to accept all his good or bad, but loan shark I really cannot accept. Help. This love make me suffocating.

 

[rubyong]

Hi Qwertan, I'm sad to hear your story. But not to worry there are many stories that I know of that gamblers who are willing to change for good for their loved ones. Perhaps you could give him some time to change for the better? If until a considerable amount of time he still doesn't change then perhaps it's a better choice to leave him. I agree with you that if a man who truly loves you will prevent you from getting hurt. Wish you happiness

 

[bibiyku]

Hi,

I don't know who you are, but I feel sorry for the problem that you and your husband have right now. I can't talk much about it, but believe that everything which is visible is just a temporal condition. Yes, still there's a hope for your husband to be a good loving husband without any burden and trouble from the past, because we're living in now as present and the future. The past already passed away and the dark or heavy rain will stop and the sky will have some beautiful rainbow right after.

After I read your story, I suddenly open the Youtube to find out any testimonial from me and my husband's church. Since you're burdened already with the problem. Here, I don't want to give you another burden. I just want to share this testimonial which related to your husband's problem and became husband and wife's problems were happened with this family.

I hope this link will light a hope for you and your husband. It takes time, but it's gonna worth the journey and you will get your heart, mind, soul and smile back again with your loved ones!

God loves you and your husband ☝

Love,
Tina

 

[qwertan]

Hi,

I don't know who you are, but I feel sorry for the problem that you and your husband have right now. I can't talk much about it, but believe that everything which is visible is just a temporal condition. Yes, still there's a hope for your husband to be a good loving husband without any burden and trouble from the past, because we're living in now as present and the future. The past already passed away and the dark or heavy rain will stop and the sky will have some beautiful rainbow right after.

After I read your story, I suddenly open the Youtube to find out any testimonial from me and my husband's church. Since you're burdened already with the problem. Here, I don't want to give you another burden. I just want to share this testimonial which related to your husband's problem and became husband and wife's problems were happened with this family.

I hope this link will light a hope for you and your husband. It takes time, but it's gonna worth the journey and you will get your heart, mind, soul and smile back again with your loved ones!

God loves you and your husband

Love,
Tina

Thanks Tina.
But currently all my actions is get him away from my life.

 

[mcleck]

Hi, I strongly recommend you start a new thread with your issues in another forum named 'Matters of the Heart'. There are regulars who can give people valuable advice. Hope this help.