Staying with the in-laws

Hi Green,

No the hse was actually me and my bf decide to sell. Because i think i do all out of impulsive.
As i say in my previous post, my bf bro know that we 2 want our own hse and he go and apply for a BTO hse.
This pissed me off and my thinking was to let them stay my hse, the hse under my name they got no right to say anything and i was hoping that the bro will go and stay the gf hse instead.
As for his mum, she wk in the afternoon and come back at night so i i think i will not have chance to see her during weekday. So thinking maybe weekend stay my parent hse during weekend so totally will not see her.
 


"my thinking was to let them stay my hse, the hse under my name they got no right to say anything"

Erm... It's better that you don't hold this expectation leh. I don't think their characters behaviours will change after moving to your house.

Your situation sounds complex, 3 parties are involved.
 
lol .. i said complicated situation ..

i guess your husband is not really doing much in bridging u and his mother..

i really cant interfere much as this is your family matter. but if you really decided not to move into your new house. you really lugi until siao ...

bto finish at 2010 OR 2011 . but that haven include renovation and undetermined situation.. if you dun move . lol .. its seems like 3 years separation man .. and its really RIP for the inlaw relationship.
 
HBH - you're like me .. first time my parents met the husband's mom and stepfather was on our ROM date, and then his dad, family on AD. so far so good .. my PILs are really nice (maybe the distance and/or culture helps).
 
Hi qwerty,

Well i think my bf did try but i can tell you i am damn stuborn and now everytime he want me have dinner with his family i ask him to give me $50..haha i know i am very bad, but i want him to know that i really hate meeting his family and he got to pay me to even just have dinner with them.
Ya that is my thinking also, i am thinking the hse under me i contribute using my cpf and let pple stay i will really be damn lugi, and i am having my customary next yr dec by than think also no excuse not to move in liao...and i also spend money on the renovation really stupid to renovate nice nice and let pple stay.
Green,
Hmm i think his mum feel very guilty after saying about my parent issue, i rem when that incident happen it was near to CNY and she call me to ask me go back to their hse for dinner. Well i entertain her but i still didnt go and guess she already know i am really damn pissed off with her and now the few dinner with them she also trying to be nice to me but i just eat and go back thats all. Like i say i think i too ji chou i just cannot forgive and forget.
 
lol .. expensive to eat with you man.

but seriously its really tough to keep hating someone .. it really waste a lot of energy ..

so stuborn child ..just put your parang down ba .. 2-3 years living together . take it as a gratitude for her feeding your husband up and letting you to charge him for dinner . :P
 
grudges...why make life so hard...now you pull stunts with your bf, there will come a time he will no longer be bothered how you feel, especially when you are married.....since his mum has already tried to make amends..frankly, i've seen too many petty stuff, if i were your bf i'd dump you....
 
Hi qwerty,

Yes, thats what every1 told me my fren, my sis all say just 2 3 yrs times pass very fast.
I am now only praying hard that the bro hse faster ready and they move out.
And also praying hard the bro and the gf will not stay my hse.
 
Grudge,
Since your bf's mum and bf already put in efforts to please you, then try to forgive and forget. It makes yourself and your bf happier right? Furthermore, your bf is putting in efforts to live with your family. Give him some credits for this.

Honestly, your bf is very patient to bear with your xiao jie pi qi these years. Hehe don't go overboard, you never know when he will explode and reconsider the r/s.
 
"now you pull stunts with your bf, there will come a time he will no longer be bothered how you feel, especially when you are married"

Clipper,
Good point
 
Well clipper, i think of that also. Even now i havent get married i already thinking how long my marriage will last? i feel nowadays divorce are so common.
I think when things dun happen to ownself it is alway easy to tell pple to forgive and forget. But when things really happen to ownself you will never know if it is really so easy to forgive and forget. Esp when she drag my parent in, even now the incident happen going to be a yr, i still can clearly rem how she insult my parent.
 
Grudge,
Only u yourself can release yourself from the misery. Your mil had already made amendments, what else do you expect her to do? Knee in front of u & beg u haha? ;)
 
Hi Green,

Yes i am trying,will see how after we stay together at my hse.I think it take times bah.
You getting married soon? are you holding wedding at holiday inn atrium? because think see your post over there.
 
wow, thats fast.Everything ok with the hotel?
Well, now i need busy with my hse reno. Wedding think now still early nothing to do.
 
Green,

I see like many bad feedbacks also and seems like start to regret and i told my bf like regret choosing that hotel but deposit already paid contract also sign cannot regret already.
Anyway hope everything will run smoothly for you on your actual day.
 
Hi Green,

Like i told you is my own hse but my bf family staying with me so the feeling is not good lor. Is not truly happy having hse of my own.
So you will stay in your rent room after your wedding? haha i see from your previous post you have difficult bf sis and for me is bf bro gf haha..
 
Yeah, it was the past already. I don't let it bother me anymore coz I want to be happy. Through it, I saw my bf's standing up for me, my mum's care for me. It increased my faith in him hehe.

As time passes by, you'll get used to staying with them. Think of the positive side, e.g. less house chores to do, home cooked food to eat hehe. You only see your inlaws at night for 3hours, then it's bed time already
happy.gif
 
Actually the old folks will feel some form of insecurity when their kids get married. They may worry that the kids will abandon them lor. We are lucky to be still young and have our own financial independence, which they don't.
 
Yes, i think it is important that our bf stand by our side and protect us. At least through all these issues will make us feel we have choose the right man for our hubby.
Guess i will only be seeing his mum during weekend bah and his dad is those quiet dun talk much so not much problem.

Not sure is these common, but i realise mostly problems lies with the MIL, FIL is usually those hack care pattern.
 
Cos we gals are generally more emotional and analyse things in too much depth sometimes! We may become monster MILs to our DILs next time, who knows? haha
 
no choice .. gals always think they lose a son or lose a husband ..

if u cannot imagine staying with a MIL ..

if you have read one of my post ..

can you imagine having one monther one mIl and one wife who will turn mother the next time ..

poor males
 
Haha true, maybe when we are here complaining our in laws they on the other hand also complaining to pple abt us.
 
but its different man .. we are still professionals .. we learn to analyse and try to accept or use things that we deem usable or useful .


somehow they got the mentality that when 1 DIL is like dat .. all DILs are like dat ...

wonder will this happen when i grow old ..
 
Haha I think will not lah. There will also be parent in laws that are pro to analyse situations well just like we have 2 side of the coins for the DILs.

Then it would also be good to let both parties know what's actually going through their minds for I believe that there's already voids for communications from the frequent negative feelings of each other.
 
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