Sex after solemnization

[Jason1980]

My wife and I was solemnized last year and we will be having our wedding banquet/customary in this year.
Throughout our 4.5 years of relationship, we didn't have sex as she wanted to keep it till our marriage.

I would like to hear opinions from girls whether it is disrespect to you if your husband would like to have sex with you but have not gone thru customary but under the Singapore law, we are considered lawfully husband and wife.

 

[eulophiella]

It's not what we think, but rather how she feels. U shld talk to her abt it, that's more important.

 

[Jason1980]

I actually did bring up the subject to her, but her decision is still to do it after the customary.

 

[jkwedding308]

I actually did bring up the subject to her, but her decision is still to do it after the customary.

Did you two talk about the reason why she prefers it after the customs and ceremonial rites? While you are both husband and wife in the eyes of the law, your wife may still view customs and ceremonial rites to have higher priority in terms of where you both stand as a couple. Sex is a beautiful gift shared between the couple in marriage but if your wife doesn't view the legal solemnization as "marriage" yet per se, you may then need to respect her wishes and be a lil more patient - if the two of you can be together for the past 4.5 years, waiting another few more months would pale in comparison...

 

[Jason1980]

@jkwedding308 Thanks guess I'll have to be more patient

 

[jkwedding308]

@jkwedding308 Thanks guess I'll have to be more patient

Hang in there! Enjoy planning and prepping for the wedding instead...

 

[miloice]

I actually did bring up the subject to her, but her decision is still to do it after the customary.

Apart from being patient, it is important that you guys talk and share about your sexuality. Sexual fulfillments comes with a lot more than just the intercourse itself. Keep the communication channel about intimacy as open as possible. Intimacy need not lead to sex, in fact, very key to any relationship to keep the connection. If the decision is to refrain from premarital sex, you guys should still get comfortable with each other bodies progressively so that when the time comes, sex will not be an odd-ward or shocking experience. Many marriages break down because of sexual problems, both were too cramp up to deal with it openingly. Its more common than what is shared and known.

 

[Ziraffe]

My wife and I was solemnized last year and we will be having our wedding banquet/customary in this year.
Throughout our 4.5 years of relationship, we didn't have sex as she wanted to keep it till our marriage.

I would like to hear opinions from girls whether it is disrespect to you if your husband would like to have sex with you but have not gone thru customary but under the Singapore law, we are considered lawfully husband and wife.

Hi, no, I don't find it disrespectful.. just uncomfortable. I was brought up by my conservative mum to only give in on the wedding night. Told my husband and he agreed to it even though we ROMed 2 years before our customary. By the way, we were together for 7 years before customary.