RE: Need Some advise ....
- Thread starter whitesmoke69
- Start date
infojunkie
Active Member
i think identifying and rightfully named an idiot after close inspection is far better than branding someone "evil" & "psychopath" without much thought.
mirrorcelcius
Member
Women always love to control things around. because they are the MOTHER.
just putting things into perspective... the forum has been dragged thru mud the past months or year...
gone are the days pple Feel, Empathise and Experience before shooting the generic bullshit that doesn't work, only sounds politically correct. too much bureaucracy... too much of 'the world is a better place' kind of facade...
anyway apologies... impact is important, it brings about change.
gone are the days pple Feel, Empathise and Experience before shooting the generic bullshit that doesn't work, only sounds politically correct. too much bureaucracy... too much of 'the world is a better place' kind of facade...
anyway apologies... impact is important, it brings about change.
"if u wanna solve your problems, Start being a Man in the first place. i'm not asking u to be chauvinistic, but at least learn to stand on your own. your wife dun listen to u becos of BOTH reasons, not just 1."
That's very limiting an advice too, yeah? Powder, you may want to be clearer on what you exactly meant by 'stand on your own' as an advice to Eug. Since it's not being chauvinistic, does it mean being firm with his stand and not give in to the wife? Does it mean communicating with the wife reasonably and rationally? If you say yes to the above, then it still boils down to good communication. And how is this advice different or unique from the rest of the forumners here?
Anyway I've never thought giving in will work here too. While it sounds god damn politically correct or generic, it is true that different people (including domineering type) respond differently to different people and I'm speaking from experience. So I don't understand what you meant by gone are the days ppl feel, empathise and experience before shooting. And the greatest irony of all is, just because I'm speaking from experience, I was shot down by you that my advice is only pertaining to my hubby and I and I can't think out of the box? Wow, seems like no matter what I say here, I will kenna from you. And the last we argued in the forum, I thought we agreed not to comment on each other's advice?
Anyway back to Eug, I'm sharing from a domineering woman's perspective. I'm hard to be tamed by men generally, based on my relationships with ex bfs etc. And when I'm acting up like this, men like Powder are the exactly type of men you should not behave like because they'll only further antagonise the domineering and bad-tempered woman. Of course, we are strangers so he can say whatever nasty things he likes to me here. Anyway, to 'tame' a domineering woman is not easy but it is not impossible. Here are some ways my puny brain that can't think out of the box can think of:
1. Some women are easily tamed by men with 'power' or men who are more articulate than them. Basically the men overpower them and they just shut up and be the kittens. (rare cases and may backfire if your type of woman is not this type or that you have nothing to overpower her with)Just to share, I noticed I was less domineering with a man who's much more intelligent and articulate than me. I happily 'let him win' and feel good about it. No, not my hubby though. That was an ex bf.
Other ways of overpowering such a woman will be through physical contact (sorry not violence) but little sweet actions like hugging the woman when she's upset or going crazy helps. I melted when one ex bf did that too. Make-up sex is also one good strategy. After great sex, women may forget about everything. For really crazy women, it doesn't work though and they may turn violent so be careful.
2. Secondly, to tame a domineering and bad-tempered woman, don't behave like her. This doesn't mean you give in. Giving in will only make things worse. This means you must have that ability or personality to use humour (use humour not coax here) to make the situation less tense or even laughable that she begins to relax and sees things your way. My hubby has this ability and this is one important quality that makes me feel he's the right one for me.
3. Third is you need to be flexible. You can't just apply one strategy throughout your marriage. Sounds very technical but it really takes a lot
to maintain a marriage or any relationship. Sometimes you give in, sometimes you don't. It's all about give and take. If you're less predictable to your wife, she's less likely to take you for granted.
Anyway, Eug, you still need to find out where the problem lies exactly in order to 'troubleshoot' it. Why do you think your wife has changed to become domineering? Was it a sudden change? Have you changed too in certain ways and why?
That's very limiting an advice too, yeah? Powder, you may want to be clearer on what you exactly meant by 'stand on your own' as an advice to Eug. Since it's not being chauvinistic, does it mean being firm with his stand and not give in to the wife? Does it mean communicating with the wife reasonably and rationally? If you say yes to the above, then it still boils down to good communication. And how is this advice different or unique from the rest of the forumners here?
Anyway I've never thought giving in will work here too. While it sounds god damn politically correct or generic, it is true that different people (including domineering type) respond differently to different people and I'm speaking from experience. So I don't understand what you meant by gone are the days ppl feel, empathise and experience before shooting. And the greatest irony of all is, just because I'm speaking from experience, I was shot down by you that my advice is only pertaining to my hubby and I and I can't think out of the box? Wow, seems like no matter what I say here, I will kenna from you. And the last we argued in the forum, I thought we agreed not to comment on each other's advice?
Anyway back to Eug, I'm sharing from a domineering woman's perspective. I'm hard to be tamed by men generally, based on my relationships with ex bfs etc. And when I'm acting up like this, men like Powder are the exactly type of men you should not behave like because they'll only further antagonise the domineering and bad-tempered woman. Of course, we are strangers so he can say whatever nasty things he likes to me here. Anyway, to 'tame' a domineering woman is not easy but it is not impossible. Here are some ways my puny brain that can't think out of the box can think of:
1. Some women are easily tamed by men with 'power' or men who are more articulate than them. Basically the men overpower them and they just shut up and be the kittens. (rare cases and may backfire if your type of woman is not this type or that you have nothing to overpower her with)Just to share, I noticed I was less domineering with a man who's much more intelligent and articulate than me. I happily 'let him win' and feel good about it. No, not my hubby though. That was an ex bf.
Other ways of overpowering such a woman will be through physical contact (sorry not violence) but little sweet actions like hugging the woman when she's upset or going crazy helps. I melted when one ex bf did that too. Make-up sex is also one good strategy. After great sex, women may forget about everything. For really crazy women, it doesn't work though and they may turn violent so be careful.
2. Secondly, to tame a domineering and bad-tempered woman, don't behave like her. This doesn't mean you give in. Giving in will only make things worse. This means you must have that ability or personality to use humour (use humour not coax here) to make the situation less tense or even laughable that she begins to relax and sees things your way. My hubby has this ability and this is one important quality that makes me feel he's the right one for me.
3. Third is you need to be flexible. You can't just apply one strategy throughout your marriage. Sounds very technical but it really takes a lot
to maintain a marriage or any relationship. Sometimes you give in, sometimes you don't. It's all about give and take. If you're less predictable to your wife, she's less likely to take you for granted.
Anyway, Eug, you still need to find out where the problem lies exactly in order to 'troubleshoot' it. Why do you think your wife has changed to become domineering? Was it a sudden change? Have you changed too in certain ways and why?
u didn't kena from me. i told u that u are not at my level, and u gave crap worthless advice that dun work... so i am just telling the poor guy that yours is crap advice. i dun add u in my advice when i am advising the fella, i simply dismiss u.
your advice are mostly based on your need to give advice... they are seldom based on the person who needs them.
it can look like u're giving advice, the advice can seem like advice... but beneath all that, it's just your personal needs, not the TS.
for goodness' sake, u're not even 'listening'to him. u have to size up his wife first, rather than focus on the word 'domineering' and start vomiting all the 10yrs series sh!t that u just did.
that's just your freakin problem... u see 1 keyword, and u spout everything to cover everything, making it so darn hard to pick out what to do.
everything sounds logical, but e problem is not solved... simply discussed. and that is the freakin problem wi the forum these days.
by the way, we did not 'agree' not to comment on each other's advice... there is no 'we' and there is nothing mutual. it was MEi Telling You not to keep dragging me in In the past but u simply dun know when to stop.
so dun make it sound like we were on the same level and we agreed. last i rem, u are still not at my level, and will never be if u keep thinking the way u do.
your advice are mostly based on your need to give advice... they are seldom based on the person who needs them.
it can look like u're giving advice, the advice can seem like advice... but beneath all that, it's just your personal needs, not the TS.
for goodness' sake, u're not even 'listening'to him. u have to size up his wife first, rather than focus on the word 'domineering' and start vomiting all the 10yrs series sh!t that u just did.
that's just your freakin problem... u see 1 keyword, and u spout everything to cover everything, making it so darn hard to pick out what to do.
everything sounds logical, but e problem is not solved... simply discussed. and that is the freakin problem wi the forum these days.
by the way, we did not 'agree' not to comment on each other's advice... there is no 'we' and there is nothing mutual. it was MEi Telling You not to keep dragging me in In the past but u simply dun know when to stop.
so dun make it sound like we were on the same level and we agreed. last i rem, u are still not at my level, and will never be if u keep thinking the way u do.
is the person on this website u?
http://xprofiles.com/whitesmoke69/
asking for hook up with hot babes? so stupid! that explain why ur wife walk out.
http://xprofiles.com/whitesmoke69/
asking for hook up with hot babes? so stupid! that explain why ur wife walk out.
infojunkie
Active Member
well time for a witch-hunt...
bring the fire!
burn him alive!
smokey is/was a è‡ç”·äºº rite?
and then?
at least he cares to fix the marriage.
bring the fire!
burn him alive!
smokey is/was a è‡ç”·äºº rite?
and then?
at least he cares to fix the marriage.
miloice
Well-Known Member
Well... if he wants to fix his marriage then, he needs to show some conviction to her. trying to desperately hook up women online asking for sex isn't assuring for sure. His wife probably is aware of his possible infidelity. Explains her nasty and seemed unreasonable behavior.
That explains y. Now hopefully powder understands y there's a need to ask eug questions. We can't be sure and don't know any one here well. Best not to assume and ask more to find out first. Its not women nature to investigate before giving advice here. We are trying to be more objective by asking and finding out more. Notice that eug hasn't been responding anyway? Someone was right earlier and that is he doesnt seem to really want to solve his problem.
as usual denise, look at your low-level way of reacting. i said YOU are not at my level, but insteadu drag everyone down to your level by saying i'm the smartest here.
u can't stand alone, so u try to group others with u, or group yourself with others... whenever i appear. there is a difference wheni i tell u that u are below me, and when u tell me i am the smartest here.... i am obviously confident, whilst u obviously need to garner support when u speak to me. countless posts have shown this.
so, do i need to tame u, when your kind of confidence is garnered from others and not from self-belief?
look at your last post. u NEED to garner a 'women' support. and u use 'we' whenever u feel inadequate but try to mask it.
u dun even know yourself.
u can't stand alone, so u try to group others with u, or group yourself with others... whenever i appear. there is a difference wheni i tell u that u are below me, and when u tell me i am the smartest here.... i am obviously confident, whilst u obviously need to garner support when u speak to me. countless posts have shown this.
so, do i need to tame u, when your kind of confidence is garnered from others and not from self-belief?
look at your last post. u NEED to garner a 'women' support. and u use 'we' whenever u feel inadequate but try to mask it.
u dun even know yourself.
infojunkie
Active Member
Member Since: May 8, 2011
the account is almost a yr old.
and he's been hving marital problem since last 2 yrs.
the account is almost a yr old.
and he's been hving marital problem since last 2 yrs.
miloice
Well-Known Member
Junkie, so far, he is not honest nor really as clueless as he claim.
Giving the benefit of the doubt that this is the only account. He has issues for few months, and he is looking sex desperately online. Contradicts his claims. What his intention to portray a helpeless and clueless 'nice' husband desperate to make his marriage work?
Frankly, I wonder if this is even a real story now or he is casting his net in here looking for women troubled in their marriages. Another online bullshiter.
Giving the benefit of the doubt that this is the only account. He has issues for few months, and he is looking sex desperately online. Contradicts his claims. What his intention to portray a helpeless and clueless 'nice' husband desperate to make his marriage work?
Frankly, I wonder if this is even a real story now or he is casting his net in here looking for women troubled in their marriages. Another online bullshiter.
I'm gonna just based my 'worthless advice' on a typical marriage story.... the romance was gone, life, work, stress, kids, too little sex, too many fights, husband decides to outsource since he just wasn't getting the love at home.
My worthless advice is this, 2 wrongs don't make a right.
Assuming yes, the wife did not invest into the marriage and took you for granted and perhaps was bossy and unreasonable.
Was she gonna become more reasonable when you attempt to cheat?
Powder is right, be a man, have the balls to own up to your contributions to the problems, if you are really sincere and genuine in your admissions and you show her that you are really serious in making the marriage work. I suspect she will listen to you and she might even finally admit her own failure as a wife.
My worthless advice ONLY applies to normal people with no mental or personality disorders or addiction, who genuinely love their partners and is willing to make an effort.
If you are not the above, my advice is indeed worthless....
My worthless advice is this, 2 wrongs don't make a right.
Assuming yes, the wife did not invest into the marriage and took you for granted and perhaps was bossy and unreasonable.
Was she gonna become more reasonable when you attempt to cheat?
Powder is right, be a man, have the balls to own up to your contributions to the problems, if you are really sincere and genuine in your admissions and you show her that you are really serious in making the marriage work. I suspect she will listen to you and she might even finally admit her own failure as a wife.
My worthless advice ONLY applies to normal people with no mental or personality disorders or addiction, who genuinely love their partners and is willing to make an effort.
If you are not the above, my advice is indeed worthless....
infojunkie
Active Member
that is a possibilty that he didn't get enough sex from bossy wife and thus he's outsourcing... dun be too quick to 判他æ»åˆ‘。 there's a gray area here.
infojunkie
Active Member
i will give him the benefit of doubt becos afterall, he's asking for help
infojunkie
Active Member
u mean he's trying to hook up with ladies here?
he last logged in on 5 apr (before lily exposed him) and didn't activate his pm.
he last logged in on 5 apr (before lily exposed him) and didn't activate his pm.
If my earlier assumptions are wrong, then maybe he as an addiction.... to either cyber sex or actual sex... I read that self-deception is the addict's strongest defense and somehow they see it as a means to an end, but its really just escapism bcos they don't want or are unable to deal with real life.
Following from www.sexualcontrol.com:
Some of the rationalizations he uses are:
"I'm not addicted. I do it to relieve stress."
"It's not an addiction. It's a way of having fun."
"All my friends do it."
"You're uptight about sex. I'm not."
"I have more sex drive than most people."
"It gives me pleasure. It can't be an addiction if I like it."
"I know guys who are sex addicts. I'd never do what they do."
"I'm normal. You're abnormal."
"Sexual addiction is a myth put out by small-minded bigots and hypocrites."
Or he is just plain selfish and shortsighted....but that's another story
Following from www.sexualcontrol.com:
Some of the rationalizations he uses are:
"I'm not addicted. I do it to relieve stress."
"It's not an addiction. It's a way of having fun."
"All my friends do it."
"You're uptight about sex. I'm not."
"I have more sex drive than most people."
"It gives me pleasure. It can't be an addiction if I like it."
"I know guys who are sex addicts. I'd never do what they do."
"I'm normal. You're abnormal."
"Sexual addiction is a myth put out by small-minded bigots and hypocrites."
Or he is just plain selfish and shortsighted....but that's another story
infojunkie
Active Member
i dun think so.
infojunkie
Active Member
milo, u oredi 判他æ»åˆ‘。
infojunkie
Active Member
only the 100% uprite ppl can ask for help isit?
ok.
ok.
Oh we are the victims? haha I wouldn't be so quick to judge la. There are plenty of married men out there facing the exact same problem.... and doing the exact same thing, thinking it relieves their stress and hence a way to reduce the fights etc etc... but they're just exacerbating the problem.
And somehow they are able to rationalize their behaviour as correct, normal and effective...Self denial is a very powerful and dangerous tool.
And somehow they are able to rationalize their behaviour as correct, normal and effective...Self denial is a very powerful and dangerous tool.
miloice
Well-Known Member
no, upright people. But, basic honesty. Ask for help, but create a fake story and after being expose, its natural one doubt how much of it is for real.
Its an insult and waste of others time. Ask for help but still bullshitting, u still want to think of all the possibility. If he seriously want help, come clean and stop portraying that clueless nice guy.
Its an insult and waste of others time. Ask for help but still bullshitting, u still want to think of all the possibility. If he seriously want help, come clean and stop portraying that clueless nice guy.
infojunkie
Active Member
what makes u so 100% sure that the story is fake?
fine, i give up.
fine, i give up.
miloice
Well-Known Member
it isn't even a witch hunt. Rather, I suspect we are wasting time. You don't think so, its completely fine. CHEERS.
Don't start this nonsense about only perfect beings can ask help. What's that for? Don't ask me how I can be sure 100%. So many things and people in the world... we don't know for sure many things... do you go and figure out everyone? I don't. Maybe u do. then u must be so busy.
Don't start this nonsense about only perfect beings can ask help. What's that for? Don't ask me how I can be sure 100%. So many things and people in the world... we don't know for sure many things... do you go and figure out everyone? I don't. Maybe u do. then u must be so busy.
ya, bail out for the umpteenth time.
in future when i criticize u, just keep quiet and reflect, instead of jumping to argue. accept that there are pple out there who are beyond u.
if anything, u should thank me and run to the book shops to find books that can help u improve your mental awareness. u've been in your environment for too long.
in future when i criticize u, just keep quiet and reflect, instead of jumping to argue. accept that there are pple out there who are beyond u.
if anything, u should thank me and run to the book shops to find books that can help u improve your mental awareness. u've been in your environment for too long.
Really v full of urself. Always think u r above others and can criticise ppl. Typical self-absorbed mcp. I'm still wondering how ur advice could help eug without knowing his interesting profile online to solicit for sex. Ur inability to ask qns before giving advice - ur books or experience in life never teach u meh? This is laughable. Criticise others then tell others not to react - another self-centred and egoistic trait. U r a pathetic worm. For a man, u r truly petty and egoistic.
Oh no that's not my definition, I'm not married so why would I have any worthy definition of marriage? But I wonder why your definition of marriage includes annoying and arguing with strangers online? While I don't have a worthy definition, I certainly don't want one where I spend my holiday arguing with strangers than with my family and partner.
My excuse for being here is I'm single and heart broken, what's yours?
My excuse for being here is I'm single and heart broken, what's yours?
U seem to often doubt ones intention for being here. Already mentioned to ya duno how many times that I'm here to share and help others with my puny brain and limited experiences. If u could ever read, I didn't start criticising that bugger first. It is not my interest to argue with strangers unless provoked, especially by those who think only their advice is the best. I only share my views but I don't profess I know everything or that only my advice is the best. Ur idea of happily married women should not be here to argue with strangers is rather flawed. R u then also suggesting mr powder is having a rough patch with his wife and that's y he's hostile here? Really limiting ur associations can be.
If only single, bored and troubled ppl post here, I can imagine the 'quality' of the discussions here. We need a variety of perspectives not perceived prescriptions. How can matters of the heart be solved with 'prescribed' medicines by strangers who do not know them well enough? That's y we could only share. The rest is up to the TS.
Denise darling, I'm not suggesting anything, I'm just saying your marriage is not the kind of marriage I want. If you are happy with it, you don't need to convince me and neither does Powder. And I didn't say Powder has a rough patch with wife, it was 'kent & lois lane (clark)' who replied when I ask why Powder sounds so angry.
I don't doubt anybody's intention for being here, I'm merely doubting the need to be here. If either of us had anything better to do, why do we want to be here?
I know why I am here, do you? Do you practise what you preach? Do you reflect? Do you wonder why you are provoked by the things being said about you and about your marriage and ur endless need to defend and convince us that ur marriage is indeed blissful?
To be honest Denise, after the first few of ur posts, I just skip whenever I see ur name, and its not because I find it unworthy or useless, when I do read it, it has some useful tips. But its really exhausting to read, it actually gives me a headache. And I'm a woman.
Go fight with ur husband, have some make up sex. Don't bother with unworthy, bitter and disgruntled strangers like me who don't know a damn thing about love and marriage and can't read.
I don't doubt anybody's intention for being here, I'm merely doubting the need to be here. If either of us had anything better to do, why do we want to be here?
I know why I am here, do you? Do you practise what you preach? Do you reflect? Do you wonder why you are provoked by the things being said about you and about your marriage and ur endless need to defend and convince us that ur marriage is indeed blissful?
To be honest Denise, after the first few of ur posts, I just skip whenever I see ur name, and its not because I find it unworthy or useless, when I do read it, it has some useful tips. But its really exhausting to read, it actually gives me a headache. And I'm a woman.
Go fight with ur husband, have some make up sex. Don't bother with unworthy, bitter and disgruntled strangers like me who don't know a damn thing about love and marriage and can't read.
One thing. I dun pretend my marriage is without zero conflicts. In fact I had posted problems in this forum before but u haven't read them. This is y I said we wouldn't know ppl well just based on what we say or read in forums. If its gd, its gd and vice versa and for one thing, my job is one which I cultivate the habit of constant reflection and this applies to my marriage or any other interpersonal relationships. My hub and I resolve any conflict in the same day and don't bear grudges or carry problems to the next day. We write to each other if we are truly angry etc. no one relationship is perfect. It takes two hands to clap, including sincere attempts to make the relationship better. If u think wat I've written is tiring to read then u may skip it.