I am in the mid of divorce and I had got the certificate of interim judgement. Currently we are still pending on issues with children custordy and matrimonial assets before I can get the final judgement and according to my lawyer, these issues can prolong for min. 6 months. Now I am pregant with my boyfriend's baby, will this affect me on the entire divorce process? (i.e., can he counter sue me for adultery, and/or will I lose out on children custordy and matrimonial assets issue).
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Re.: Advice needed for Divorce issues.
- Thread starter susanwong
- Start date
sgbabydoll
Active Member
Hi
If your husband wants the divorce as much as you do, do you think he will want to spend more money and time to sue you for adultery now? It won't change the outcome of divorce, only the reason or cause of it. Would he go that far?
As for child custody and division of matrimonial assets, what I know is that the divorce itself has no bearing on these matters.
On child custody, the Court will determine in the interest of the child which parent will be able to better provide for the child's needs.
The Court will order the division of matrimonial assets according to the extent of the contributions made by each party in various areas.
You should consult your lawyer for proper legal advice. Such costs cannot be saved.
If your husband wants the divorce as much as you do, do you think he will want to spend more money and time to sue you for adultery now? It won't change the outcome of divorce, only the reason or cause of it. Would he go that far?
As for child custody and division of matrimonial assets, what I know is that the divorce itself has no bearing on these matters.
On child custody, the Court will determine in the interest of the child which parent will be able to better provide for the child's needs.
The Court will order the division of matrimonial assets according to the extent of the contributions made by each party in various areas.
You should consult your lawyer for proper legal advice. Such costs cannot be saved.
sgbabydoll
Active Member
You can seek unofficial opinions here or anywhere but a second opinion should be sought with a qualified legal practitioner. This kind of money cannot be saved.
sm, its nt i wana fight cos of emotional stuff or such...
honestly, he's sum1 tt refuse to listen...
my gal is still so young... he nv tk gd care of her...
since born i m the one tt put her to bed, cut her nails for her, etc...
i can ask him to see her awhile while i tk medi n he can let her fall fr the sofa w/in 30sec...
or he can fall asleep on bed n she is still wide awake n crawling ard...
lastly he lack patience... when he is in gd mood, he'll allow her to do all sorta nonsense... if not he'll scream @ her n hit her...
tell me, hw to allow him to hv care n control...
honestly, he's sum1 tt refuse to listen...
my gal is still so young... he nv tk gd care of her...
since born i m the one tt put her to bed, cut her nails for her, etc...
i can ask him to see her awhile while i tk medi n he can let her fall fr the sofa w/in 30sec...
or he can fall asleep on bed n she is still wide awake n crawling ard...
lastly he lack patience... when he is in gd mood, he'll allow her to do all sorta nonsense... if not he'll scream @ her n hit her...
tell me, hw to allow him to hv care n control...
clipperjunk
New Member
just offer joint custody, right now in the midst of divorce both parties see kids as properties..once the dust settles the parent who seldom provides care will eventually drift away...i've seen plenty of such incidents...especially men who would fight tooth and nail for access but after a few months they would be hitting the bachelor trail....so don't fight over custody...
I know everyone wants to fight.. especially in a divorce.. mine too.. but if everyone just take a step backwards.. give in a little.. never mind who is the one to give in first.. may be able to discuss amicably.
My wife used to want to fight with me and threaten each time to fight for the children. I told her, I let her be. I give her everything she wants.. I just ask her to think carefully. After a while, she never say such things again. But I am very good lah, I give her unlimited access to the children.. almost everyday also can.. win-win.. why fight?
My wife used to want to fight with me and threaten each time to fight for the children. I told her, I let her be. I give her everything she wants.. I just ask her to think carefully. After a while, she never say such things again. But I am very good lah, I give her unlimited access to the children.. almost everyday also can.. win-win.. why fight?
Sm, Janey is rite...
nt everyone is like u... i noe my hb v well... the last time he chased me out of the hse n kept me away fr the daughter. cos i m stayin w my in laws.
anyway, i will still allow access thou, cos he is ultimately the father. but if he wans care n control, its a no no thing, cos he nv tk part in taking care of her.
im nt sayin im a better person, or tryin to push the blame to him or wat.
nt pointing fingers here, bt truth is i've been takin care of her since she's born. wen im nt ard, she jus dump my gal to my maid to put her to bed...
he finds wantin the kid is a responsibility, bt fact is im the one paying for bulk of my gal's stuff...
i find tt both parents shld play a part to pay, so i've nv tell him tt he's a man n shld pay for all these expenses. In fact i always wana 50-50% share cost w him. yet in the end every mth he doesnt hv money n for gdness sake, i still help him to pay for his season parkin! but i stopped nw cos i find it worth less. yes no doubt he doesnt gamble or drink n yet to womanize. bt hw much is he contributin to the family.
nt everyone is like u... i noe my hb v well... the last time he chased me out of the hse n kept me away fr the daughter. cos i m stayin w my in laws.
anyway, i will still allow access thou, cos he is ultimately the father. but if he wans care n control, its a no no thing, cos he nv tk part in taking care of her.
im nt sayin im a better person, or tryin to push the blame to him or wat.
nt pointing fingers here, bt truth is i've been takin care of her since she's born. wen im nt ard, she jus dump my gal to my maid to put her to bed...
he finds wantin the kid is a responsibility, bt fact is im the one paying for bulk of my gal's stuff...
i find tt both parents shld play a part to pay, so i've nv tell him tt he's a man n shld pay for all these expenses. In fact i always wana 50-50% share cost w him. yet in the end every mth he doesnt hv money n for gdness sake, i still help him to pay for his season parkin! but i stopped nw cos i find it worth less. yes no doubt he doesnt gamble or drink n yet to womanize. bt hw much is he contributin to the family.
stuv55,
wife reasonable? Not initially..
People fight because we fight. the moment I don't want to fight with her.. then it is possible to do the best for the children.
I can bet that if I play the hard-ball and insisted on fighting, she will fight in court.. but rather I just give in..
Seriously, if a hb didn't want the children and they don't care too much, why do you think they would fight? Precisely because the wife is fighting too hard...
I know everyone is eager to fight for the children but sometimes if you take a step backward, you gain two steps forward.
everything that can be discussed has a higher chance of being win-win.. If we fight, we lose the sense of balance and we fight because we want to win... not in the best interest of the child.
wife reasonable? Not initially..
People fight because we fight. the moment I don't want to fight with her.. then it is possible to do the best for the children.
I can bet that if I play the hard-ball and insisted on fighting, she will fight in court.. but rather I just give in..
Seriously, if a hb didn't want the children and they don't care too much, why do you think they would fight? Precisely because the wife is fighting too hard...
I know everyone is eager to fight for the children but sometimes if you take a step backward, you gain two steps forward.
everything that can be discussed has a higher chance of being win-win.. If we fight, we lose the sense of balance and we fight because we want to win... not in the best interest of the child.
clipperjunk
New Member
people indeed push hard because they are pushed...but the moment they see you're not fighting, they usually don't bother either...you're not losing anything in a joint custody...if as you say he is short of money, sooner or later he might not bother with the child as the care of the child costs money..
hi sm, if the spouse goes all the way like want the kids to change surname, or keep on pushing you to the limit like going back on her/his on the child access or not letting one party to see the child, do u still let her? To the extend of not letting u see your child for one whole month, u still take one step back?
my gosh, i said, if its jt custody, i gt nothin to say.
wateva the judge where to gif, i tk it...
bt i cant let him hv care n control...
clipper, he'll use his parents $$$!for god sake!
tey wan tis kid for their family face...
sm,wantin the kid n care is difference.
if he reali did care for the kid, he wld hv done his part.
he wldn't hv behave violent infront of the kid or snap @ her or hit her wen she's an infant.
i cant deny yes he luv the kid i guess...
bt he doesnt hv the responsibility or the patience...
clipper, i wn wana run the risk tt he gt no $ n nt bother abt the child.
she my daughter n we mus provide for her...
nt everyone is lik u! if he is willing to
wateva the judge where to gif, i tk it...
bt i cant let him hv care n control...
clipper, he'll use his parents $$$!for god sake!
tey wan tis kid for their family face...
sm,wantin the kid n care is difference.
if he reali did care for the kid, he wld hv done his part.
he wldn't hv behave violent infront of the kid or snap @ her or hit her wen she's an infant.
i cant deny yes he luv the kid i guess...
bt he doesnt hv the responsibility or the patience...
clipper, i wn wana run the risk tt he gt no $ n nt bother abt the child.
she my daughter n we mus provide for her...
nt everyone is lik u! if he is willing to
dead_heart
New Member
angel, if the child is always taken care by you, then by all means, inform your lawyer about it. Whats there to be scare of your PIL? What can they do to you if you decide to leave with your child? Always think of your child 1st. However if your child is always taken care by your PIL, then might be best for your child to remain with them instead.
Usually joint custody is granted to both parents (unless one party don't want then sole custody will be award to the other party) but care and control only to one parent.
Usually joint custody is granted to both parents (unless one party don't want then sole custody will be award to the other party) but care and control only to one parent.
heart, my maid tk care of the gal...
so i will need to shift out with her...
i alr spoken to my lawyer abt all this...
tey will stop me n chase me outta the hse if tey noes abt it!
i noes abt the custody thing...nw is usually joint rather than sole...
if i bring my child away tey will cum my hse n mk noise, so would my hubby...
so i will need to shift out with her...
i alr spoken to my lawyer abt all this...
tey will stop me n chase me outta the hse if tey noes abt it!
i noes abt the custody thing...nw is usually joint rather than sole...
if i bring my child away tey will cum my hse n mk noise, so would my hubby...
dead_heart
New Member
angel, what is your final stand? to patch up with hb or to divorce? U must decide on ur stand 1st.
clipperjunk
New Member
in that case you could ask your maid to give an affidavit as to whom is the primary caregiver, including receipts showing you are the one paying for most things..i think being magnanimous would help..perhaps offering him reasonable access with either no or limited stay-overs.
I got no more comments.
What I am trying to say.. even before things got worse.. always try to settle nicely and not fight.. cos it is lose-lose when fight..
I mean.. just look at it.. once a couple.. even if we split.. we can split nicely.. same for the children..
The point of no return will start when the first instance of the fight.. then it will be tit for tat.. and it will never end.
For custody, just state the facts..let the court decides.. if both cannot come to a conclusion..
What I am trying to say.. even before things got worse.. always try to settle nicely and not fight.. cos it is lose-lose when fight..
I mean.. just look at it.. once a couple.. even if we split.. we can split nicely.. same for the children..
The point of no return will start when the first instance of the fight.. then it will be tit for tat.. and it will never end.
For custody, just state the facts..let the court decides.. if both cannot come to a conclusion..
Well, i tink my hb has given me enuff hurt...
Nw he try to act as nthin happen n force me into hvin sex by nt addressin or tryin to solve the issue.
Wen i refuse to, he jus threaten 'DIVORCE'...I'm sick of it...
HE's just tkin things for granted tt we'r married n w a kid, i wn leave him...
Time & agn he kept tellin me: 'U r married w a kid, nobody wil wan u cos u've no value!'
Wif tis concept of him, i realised he's jus tinkin tt i'll nv leav him n tk adv of me & bully me...
Clipper, i had a prob here in showing receipts. Cos i've nv xpect things 2 turn out tis way. & i'm super kiasu, as long as it's cheap, i stock up my bb supplies.
Bt i started to kip them nw... Wn add up much thou, cos most of my stuffs r in sufficient supplies nw, xcept 4 cereal...
Mayb its wrong of me, bt i can't allow limited stay-overs, mayb if she get older, i may allow bt for nw she's too young.
My hb used to threaten to throw her into dustbin @ 2mths, threaten to kill all of us if i get her custody @ 1.5mths. Scream n shot @ her wen he's in bad mood n she do sumthin bt yet can smile n laff his way off wen he's in gd mood.
Hits her hard... She's barely 1yr... & still an infant...
He claims its discipline. I can understand u wana discipline, bt im sad to say tis, he's nv consistent & also if he wana reali set a gd example, he wldn't hv done violent act infront of her n even curse @ swear @ his own parents.
& look, hw much can she understand we she's only few mths old. I blive in coachin b4 u bring out the rod, bt for a bb tt cant even walk or tok, being HARD on her doesnt work...
I dn wana run the risk tt wen im nt ard, he wld jus hit her n i wun even noe abt it...
His whole family stil blame me for callin in police n filin PPO e las rd wen he was violent.& tey jus lie 2 me tt my hb tk care of the daughter n put her 2 slep e las rd wen he chase me outta e hm wen e fact's he pas e kid 2 e maid n only put her 2 bed aft my maid put her 2 slep.
SM, i blive in 'hao lai hao san', even wen we r couples n nt hb n wife.
We broke off while datin, bt he say he nv treat me as a fren if we broke off. End up we jus patch bk agn n gt married.
E las rd he gt violent he din even apologise, cos he noe my weak pt: Softhearted.
So he jus started to lie his way thru, mk me feel he's pity n guilty.
Nw he try to act as nthin happen n force me into hvin sex by nt addressin or tryin to solve the issue.
Wen i refuse to, he jus threaten 'DIVORCE'...I'm sick of it...
HE's just tkin things for granted tt we'r married n w a kid, i wn leave him...
Time & agn he kept tellin me: 'U r married w a kid, nobody wil wan u cos u've no value!'
Wif tis concept of him, i realised he's jus tinkin tt i'll nv leav him n tk adv of me & bully me...
Clipper, i had a prob here in showing receipts. Cos i've nv xpect things 2 turn out tis way. & i'm super kiasu, as long as it's cheap, i stock up my bb supplies.
Bt i started to kip them nw... Wn add up much thou, cos most of my stuffs r in sufficient supplies nw, xcept 4 cereal...
Mayb its wrong of me, bt i can't allow limited stay-overs, mayb if she get older, i may allow bt for nw she's too young.
My hb used to threaten to throw her into dustbin @ 2mths, threaten to kill all of us if i get her custody @ 1.5mths. Scream n shot @ her wen he's in bad mood n she do sumthin bt yet can smile n laff his way off wen he's in gd mood.
Hits her hard... She's barely 1yr... & still an infant...
He claims its discipline. I can understand u wana discipline, bt im sad to say tis, he's nv consistent & also if he wana reali set a gd example, he wldn't hv done violent act infront of her n even curse @ swear @ his own parents.
& look, hw much can she understand we she's only few mths old. I blive in coachin b4 u bring out the rod, bt for a bb tt cant even walk or tok, being HARD on her doesnt work...
I dn wana run the risk tt wen im nt ard, he wld jus hit her n i wun even noe abt it...
His whole family stil blame me for callin in police n filin PPO e las rd wen he was violent.& tey jus lie 2 me tt my hb tk care of the daughter n put her 2 slep e las rd wen he chase me outta e hm wen e fact's he pas e kid 2 e maid n only put her 2 bed aft my maid put her 2 slep.
SM, i blive in 'hao lai hao san', even wen we r couples n nt hb n wife.
We broke off while datin, bt he say he nv treat me as a fren if we broke off. End up we jus patch bk agn n gt married.
E las rd he gt violent he din even apologise, cos he noe my weak pt: Softhearted.
So he jus started to lie his way thru, mk me feel he's pity n guilty.
sgbabydoll
Active Member
Uncontested divorce about six months when you will get your final certificate at the end of it. Contested divorce likely to drag.
can i ask..now i m not working and have a 6 month baby..and i m gg to divorce with my husband due to his misbehaver...so i need to ask..what else can i take from him? meaning thing by law i can ask him to pay for me.. as he is the one asking me not to work...so this can related to make him pay more?
i need help and need pp who have been divorce liao..i need some advise from u gal..if keen can e-mail at [email protected] or anyone have a lawyer that can able to give me advise before i hire him/her.thanks
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