PIN JIN (聘金)
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babystarlet
New Member
hi midas,jus to ask,did ur hubby discuss with his parents or the amt comes out from his own pocket?
my hubby has nt discussed with his parents,so next time dunno hw
my hubby has nt discussed with his parents,so next time dunno hw
hi babystarlet,
my hubby din't discuss wif his parents (coz his dad has passed away and mum is not working, so no point). basically is i ask my mum hw much she expect and nego the amt based on wat my hubby can afford. i tink most couples do it tis way coz parents usually dun help to pay. i heard some MIL will buy jewellery for the bride tats all.
my hubby din't discuss wif his parents (coz his dad has passed away and mum is not working, so no point). basically is i ask my mum hw much she expect and nego the amt based on wat my hubby can afford. i tink most couples do it tis way coz parents usually dun help to pay. i heard some MIL will buy jewellery for the bride tats all.
babystarlet
New Member
oic.actually my parents-in-law haben even know our wedding date yet,haha
shootingstarz
New Member
Hi to all,
rather puzzled with the pingjin stuffs & all. My parents & PIL did not meet up for any discussions when having my ROM. Now planning for the AD.. so does my PIL need to come & "ask for my" from my parents still? Sounds wierd though? Also heard that usually is the auntie of my hubby who will come only if want to discuss about pingjin & pingli stuff..is that true? then PIL no need to come?
rather puzzled with the pingjin stuffs & all. My parents & PIL did not meet up for any discussions when having my ROM. Now planning for the AD.. so does my PIL need to come & "ask for my" from my parents still? Sounds wierd though? Also heard that usually is the auntie of my hubby who will come only if want to discuss about pingjin & pingli stuff..is that true? then PIL no need to come?
hi evelyn, for mine, my SO parents will initiate a meeting with my side. in fact, my SO parents ask me when my parents will be free.
we (SO and me) calculate the dates 1st before the meeting. so that we can bring it to them when they sit down together , they will discuss whatever they want. including the date, table, pin jin ,and whatever stuffs..
for venue, we will also plan to ask for their opinion but still we need to be in control with the budget as after all it will be our wedding.
after the meeting, we will proceed to negotiate with shortlisted restaurants/ hotels ...
we (SO and me) calculate the dates 1st before the meeting. so that we can bring it to them when they sit down together , they will discuss whatever they want. including the date, table, pin jin ,and whatever stuffs..
for venue, we will also plan to ask for their opinion but still we need to be in control with the budget as after all it will be our wedding.
after the meeting, we will proceed to negotiate with shortlisted restaurants/ hotels ...
gabriellek
New Member
hi anyone here?
smarties1668
New Member
What is an acceptable amount for Pin Jin? I saw some people post must give 3 separate red packets. Anyone know why and what it means? Thanks.
trinitycat
New Member
usually pin jin comes from the hubby...think nowadays parents r nt involved in paying for all these including the dinner...usu the guy or the couple will pay for everything..
my understanding of pin jin is only one packet leh...and i think usually the bride's mum wun ask for the amount one..its up to the "son in law" how much he wana give...hearsay is the mil determine how much the son in law "treasure" her daughter by the amount of pin jin...some mil wil ony "yi si" take abit n return the rest, but oso dependg on how many tables the bride's parents getting from the groom...some say if the bride's parents asked for many tables, maybe they will take less pin jin...but not all parents are like tt...so i think stil hv to give an amount which the groom can afford...
my understanding of pin jin is only one packet leh...and i think usually the bride's mum wun ask for the amount one..its up to the "son in law" how much he wana give...hearsay is the mil determine how much the son in law "treasure" her daughter by the amount of pin jin...some mil wil ony "yi si" take abit n return the rest, but oso dependg on how many tables the bride's parents getting from the groom...some say if the bride's parents asked for many tables, maybe they will take less pin jin...but not all parents are like tt...so i think stil hv to give an amount which the groom can afford...
happi_bride
New Member
my mom did not want to say how much the pin jin is, she sy its up to him and his family...after repeated tries, she also did not say how much.. so my SO also dunno and in the end i suggest $8,888... and guess what my mom took $5k. so sianz.,.. i dunno why she take so much for what... but i dun wan to ask her lar.. cant she just take like 1-2k.. maybe i guess cos she only asked for 4tables (whereas others girls side can be asking for 10 tables? or more)
of cos all this is betw my SO and me.. his parents no idea lah.. din ask i think..anyway nowadays parents dont give... all is handled by the younger people.
well.. my advice is if possibble, try to get an estimated figure from your mom...
of cos all this is betw my SO and me.. his parents no idea lah.. din ask i think..anyway nowadays parents dont give... all is handled by the younger people.
well.. my advice is if possibble, try to get an estimated figure from your mom...
hi Happy bride,
Sorry, but i think the amount given was too high, hence your mum took too lor. If the amount was just something like 2888 or 3888, i am sure your mum would not take all but like 2k or plus and return the rest. But since you gave 8888 (can afford), of course your mum will take more lor.
Sorry, but i think the amount given was too high, hence your mum took too lor. If the amount was just something like 2888 or 3888, i am sure your mum would not take all but like 2k or plus and return the rest. But since you gave 8888 (can afford), of course your mum will take more lor.
For my case my SO parents will be the ones paying. My parents asked for 12 or 13 tables and we are holding the dinner at Shangri La. SO parents accept without any negotiation. I feel quite grateful that my FPIL are very generous towards us on this wedding. Don't know if my parents will ask for more cash for pin jin anot, I feel quite bad if they do.
what is the average amt to take?
i'm having a 65 table banquet at pan pac...of which half is going to be paid by my htb and the rest is paid by his dad. my mum asked for 5 tables. i asked for 2-3 tables for my friends.
all other wedding expenses is borne by my htb. his mum has prepared si dian jin for me.
for my family, we are only paying for my guo da li return gifts, htb's wedding band and my wedding jewelry sets.
my mum has no idea as to how much to ask for. pls advise us. thanks.
i'm having a 65 table banquet at pan pac...of which half is going to be paid by my htb and the rest is paid by his dad. my mum asked for 5 tables. i asked for 2-3 tables for my friends.
all other wedding expenses is borne by my htb. his mum has prepared si dian jin for me.
for my family, we are only paying for my guo da li return gifts, htb's wedding band and my wedding jewelry sets.
my mum has no idea as to how much to ask for. pls advise us. thanks.
bluereign79
New Member
hi all, is the amount packed in a single red packet? or several separate red packets so as to enable bride's parents to choose amount and return some. i've heard of 24 red packets but that was during my parents' time..
i think the common number of tables is 5-6. my mum told me. as for the pin jing, i think it depends on how much the groom can afford if is paid by groom. and the mother will take abit, yi shi yi shi and return the rest. some people take all but i heard is not good, make it look like we sell the daughter. something like that.
honeykitty
Member
yaya...canot take all lor of the pin jin..not å‰åˆ©çš„..
i dun think will ask 10 for my family lar...coz all of them r in m'sia...so probably only 2-3 table only lor
i dun think will ask 10 for my family lar...coz all of them r in m'sia...so probably only 2-3 table only lor
candycandy001
Active Member
Alicia> Depend la. Normally yes... But some of them will return partial of the AP$. You may talk to them in advance to avoid misundertanding...
candycandy001
Active Member
I didnt ask for any Pinjin. JB banquet 10tables is paid by hubby site. AP I will let my parent keep. For SG banquet, I took 1 table for my relatives - I paid for it (AP will be kept by my parent, depend if they wan to return to me la, but I m ok). For my friends invited for sg banquet, I will return all AP$ to my hubby parent.
twinkling_scarlet
Member
My parents also asked for 10 tables from my fiance's side. My dad regards that as a norm..
Do ppl still take 10 tables?
Do ppl still take 10 tables?
my dad ask for 10 too..seems like the norm for my family and i grew up hearing its 10 table...but my FH & his family was kinda shock cos to them 3 is the most they heard..in fact one of his fren only gave 1 table to the bride which is the red table..anyway end of the day my dad ve to cut his list and they still ve to pay for 3 tables on top of the 10
My mum asked for $6000, she factor in all the expenses ie jewelry for my htb and me, grocery for guo da Li and praying. She even ask for 2-3 tables. Usually the bride mum won't pay a single cents for all this stuffs?
Me and my htb have tight budget, we are wonder why my mum can't jus get the relevant amount from us as long as she can cover all her expenses? We pay for the table but she took the AP$, on top of that she received the pin Jin from us. There is no point to talk to her as I know she won't give in, afterall it spoil our relationahip.
Me and my htb have tight budget, we are wonder why my mum can't jus get the relevant amount from us as long as she can cover all her expenses? We pay for the table but she took the AP$, on top of that she received the pin Jin from us. There is no point to talk to her as I know she won't give in, afterall it spoil our relationahip.
twinkling_scarlet
Member
Actually its really up to each individual parent. I don't think Pin Jin is meant to cover bride's mum expenses, but is the groom's way of showing his sincerity towards bride to MIL.
I thought pin Jin is from htb.. bride must help to pay?
I thought pin Jin is from htb.. bride must help to pay?
I'm fine if my mum ask for the pinjin to cover all her expenses. However, i dun think it would cost that much as what she is asking. It doesn't means that i won't pay her monthly allowance after i married. I really hope that she could just ask for the relavant amount as a wedding would cost us lot of money.
nowadays pinjin is come out from htb's pocket money. Of cos, certain groom's PIL are wealthy, they will help to pay the pinjin to bride's MIL.
If it is my htb to pay the pinjin, i will treat it as to money is from us - groom & bride. Overall, his money is my money too. Hehe.....
nowadays pinjin is come out from htb's pocket money. Of cos, certain groom's PIL are wealthy, they will help to pay the pinjin to bride's MIL.
If it is my htb to pay the pinjin, i will treat it as to money is from us - groom & bride. Overall, his money is my money too. Hehe.....
