need advices on Divorce

[ashes13]

Here is my situation;

We got married in 2008 and got our joint HDB in 2009.
He is 34 and I am 33 this year. No Kids.

March 2013, I found out he had an affair and both of them admitted.
The only evidence I have is their text conversation.

July 2013, I moved out of our HDB and stayed with my family.

After pushing him for a divorce for almost a year. June 2014, he proposed that I sell him the HDB when he turns 35 next year and at the meantime he will pay me $500 a month for up to 5 years. I agreed as I know he has problem with his family and got nowhere to stay. He has already got his lawyer to work on the paperwork but I have not hear from him since then.

Now, I changed my mind after finding out that the woman moved into our flat recently.
I was devastated. I felt betrayed all over again.

Here are my questions:
1) Can I asked for the HDB rental from July 2013 - present legally?

2) I do not want to wait till a year to sell the flat to him, I want to sell it now and split it as the court decides since none of us is 35. This is consider a contested divorce?

3) I paid for the furnishings and renovation of the house, what are the chances of me
getting a much higher percentage of the flat?

4) What do you think of my situation? Any advices?

 

[hippo_woody]

Firstly, u have yet to meet the minimum occupancy period of 5 years for your HDB flat. Neither of you could retain the flat now (since no kids/haven reach 35ys - in gist didnt meet the criteria to take over possession of the flat) nor sell it in the open market. Thus, u would have to surrender the flat back to HDB since MOP not met plus no one met the criteria to retain the flat now. The surrender value of the HDB flat is 5% less than your purchase value. Meaning, for example, if you both bought a 4 room flat at lets say Punggol in 2009 at 200k, likely HDB will only return u both 190k if u both surrender it now. Thus, u will lose $ in your CPF as u got to return the amount u withdraw from CPF for the flat and the CPF accrued interest, not forgetting the HDB loan interest of 2.6%. Likely u both will suffered lost of a few k to 10over k in CPF monies in u were to surrender it now. If you were to wait till ur flat reaches 5 years then file for divorce, likely u can sell in open market and divide the house between u both. It'll cost ard 450k in the open market. I would say he is smart to ask u to sell ur share to him (ie. using purchase price) and then gives u $500 mthly for 5 years ($30000). First, u need to be clear if this $500 mthly considered ur alimony? If yes, if u remarried lets say after 2 years, he won't need to pay u $500 mthly. Thus, most will ask for a lump sum alimony instead or ask for a bigger portion of the house. If he default on this monthly payment, u would need to go to court to take enforcement order on him for defaulting on payment. But looking at the whole scheme of things involved, its not worth the time & money to do it, unless the amount he defaulted is a lot (ie. 10-20k).

As long as one of u is not agreeable to any of the terms listed in the draft consent order by the plantiff (the one who initiate the divorce) or the counter-proposal by the defendant, the divorce will be a contested divorce. However, family court will ask u both to go for mediation session first to try to resolve the issues. If that fails, ur lawyers will represent u in court trial to fight the case.

Women's Charter is more advantageous to the women. Wives can seek maintenance from the husband, not not the other way round. However, AGC is looking into the legislation (Family Law), not sure if this provision will change in near future.

One of the ancillary matters in divorce proceedings is the division of matrimonial assets. This includes shares, saving account, monies in CPF, properties acquired, etc. For most cases, couples choose to divide the matrimonial house, in your case the HDB flat, and asked to retain their own assets.

Now, u need to dig out receipts of what u paid for the house (ie. renovation, property tax, monthly instalment , utilities bill, etc etc) to work out the direct contribution to the house. Get a lawyer to fight for u. The indirect contribution is highly for women with kids, SAHM, more than 10 years in marriage. For your case, there is no children in the marriage and the marriage is short. Thus, ur direct contribution to the house matters a lot. The furnishings and renovation of the house that u paid will be taken into consideration. Go dig out ur bank statements, invoices, etc that u are the one who paid. Documentation is important.

 

[ashes13]

Hi hippo_woody, really thanks for your reply.

The flat is more than 5 years now, so it can be sold in the open market as long as he agrees.

The $500/mth is not alimony as I earn much more than him and according to his lawyer, I cant ask for any?

What about the HDB rental from July 2013 - present after I moved out? Can I ask for it?

Can you recommend me any lawyer? I have been searching and am really disgusted at how certain
lawyers who claimed to be patient and helpful just wanted $$$ and rejected my case as they feel it is small and a waste of their time.

 

[hippo_woody]

Since u are earning more than him, chances of asking for alimony is slim except for the $1 token every month. Plus u have no kids.

Paiseh, I thought ur flat less than 5 years. In that case, if he wants to take over ur share, go according to market value (ie. if both ur direct contribution to the flat is 50-50, try asking for 55-45 in your favour). If he only wants to transfer back the money u paid (with the CPF accrued interest), reject him. I doubt u can ask for rental from him since u are the one who chose to move out. Ur bargain chip of asking him to "pay" is very slim without children. Thus, try asking for a higher percent point from the division of the matrimonial house instead. Dun agree to any monthly payment from him, its hard to ensure he follow thru for that 5 years. Ask for lump sum. If he can't afford it, ask to draw down from his ordinary CPF to your ordinary CPF. You can always use it for your next property. Its tough finding a good lawyer who is responsive and doesn't overcharge u. I haven met 1 that is good enough to recommend to ppl yet.

 

[kirby]

Learn to get over it, his cheating and whatever else. No point getting revenge, it does you no good to start with. Just proceed with the divorce and move on, no need to ask for anything if you can support yourself. Just have a clean break, leave this unfortunate episode behind and look for a better life.

 

[Disclosed]

May lighting strike on your ex- husband. Such man is a disgraced and a trash in our society.


Using SingaporeBrides app

 

[ashes13]

thanks hippo_woody. Do you mind telling me more on the $1 token alimony?

kirby, I guess you are right. but sometimes emotions run high... i wasted 15 years.

 

[verysadguy]

Your situation gave me a sense of deja vu. I am also 34 and my ex-wife is 33 and we also have no kids. We also got married in 2008 and get our flat in 2009. However, we got divorce because my ex-wife has never wanted to take care of the family. See my answers below.

Here are my questions:
1) Can I asked for the HDB rental from July 2013 - present legally?
>> No, the flat is owned by you and your ex-husband. If it is for rental, both you and your ex-hubby has to tell HDB that the girl is staying in the flat as a tenant. Considering, that the girl is your ex-hubby's lover, chances are he would not agreed that it is rented to the girl.

2) I do not want to wait till a year to sell the flat to him, I want to sell it now and split it as the court decides since none of us is 35. This is consider a contested divorce?
>> Yes. For contested divorce, each court session is $5k and each of you have to pay. This is on top of the fee that you need to pay to engage a lawyer.

3) I paid for the furnishings and renovation of the house, what are the chances of me
getting a much higher percentage of the flat?
>> Depending on how the judge decides. If your hubby has also paid for other expenses of the flat, it would be taken into consideration. The best is to go for an uncontested divorce for which you and your ex-hubby agrees to the sum that each would be paid after selling the flat.

4) What do you think of my situation? Any advices?
First of all. Find out from him if he has engaged a lawyer to carry out the divorce. Without clearing this obstacle, nothing can be done.

Here is my situation;

We got married in 2008 and got our joint HDB in 2009.
He is 34 and I am 33 this year. No Kids.

March 2013, I found out he had an affair and both of them admitted.
The only evidence I have is their text conversation.

July 2013, I moved out of our HDB and stayed with my family.

After pushing him for a divorce for almost a year. June 2014, he proposed that I sell him the HDB when he turns 35 next year and at the meantime he will pay me $500 a month for up to 5 years. I agreed as I know he has problem with his family and got nowhere to stay. He has already got his lawyer to work on the paperwork but I have not hear from him since then.

Now, I changed my mind after finding out that the woman moved into our flat recently.
I was devastated. I felt betrayed all over again.

Here are my questions:
1) Can I asked for the HDB rental from July 2013 - present legally?

2) I do not want to wait till a year to sell the flat to him, I want to sell it now and split it as the court decides since none of us is 35. This is consider a contested divorce?

3) I paid for the furnishings and renovation of the house, what are the chances of me
getting a much higher percentage of the flat?

4) What do you think of my situation? Any advices?

 

[ashes13]

hi verysadguy, thanks for your reply.

Hope you are better now

 

[dalala_girl]

Try this lawyer: Angela Wong (6323 4606)

she is a nice lady, talks slowly but is patient. She gives good advice too. Her fees are pretty reasonable (compared to what I've known from friends)